Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?

The ultimate horror of spousal abuse was brought home to me a couple of weeks ago when I received a call from a very dear cousin of mine, Bose.

"Broda Tunde," she had begun on the phone, trying to find the right word with which to start. Then choosing to deliver it as coldly as it deserves she broke it, "Toyin ti ku o." Toyin is dead.

Was it not but a week or so earlier that the same Bose called and passed the phone over to someone to "shock me"? Someone who turned out to be this same Toyin, my cousin's bosom friend, who I hadn't heard from in over 20 years?

Toyin was visiting Nigeria from the United States where, apparently, she had relocated that long ago; she had left her teaching job at a Federal Government College in Nigeria and had gotten married. She was "home" on one of such regular visits to her loving mother; visits by which her family and friends in Nigeria were able to gauge how "successful and rich" America and marriage had turned her.

"Toyin dead?" I repeated in disbelief. "Impossible. Here in Nigeria or is she back in the States? Of what?" Many questions.

From what Bose gathered through a caller, Toyin was murdered by her husband and within days of her return to the States from that trip. Bose would be heading to Toyin's mum's place to console her, she said – if consolation were possible of a mother in that calamity.

But now more detail is out and on the Internet, Juliet, the English name Toyin apparently had come to be more known by, was clubbed to death with a baseball bat by her husband of 18 years! The tragic incident happened at the couple's home at 8615 Villa Largo Drive, Tampa, Florida. From a story posted on a Nigerian newsgroup email, Juliet whose age is put at 53 was married to Olufemi Oladapo Ademoye, 52, a successful pharmacist and popular restauranteur in Tampa, Florida, USA, and the couple has an only child by the marriage. Olufemi Ademoye, according to the report, was taken into police custody on June 16, 2010 charged with second-degree murder of his wife and mother of his son.

According to the story, Ademoye was enraged by his "discovery" of his wife's infidelity through some of her emails, which also led him to realize that she was probably already pregnant when they met and got married but she misled him into believing that he was the biological father of the child when he may, after all, not have been by him. Of course, this story is strongly refuted by Toyin's friends and family who insist it is baseless.

The phenomenon of spousal murder is certainly not one limited to any ethnic group, nationality, or race. It is a human phenomenon and a human tragedy. Wives kill husbands (perhaps more than) husbands kill wives. In most of the instances, infidelity on the part of one or the other is at the root. But essentially it is the crass inability of one or the other to control their basest animalistic urge that result in the loss of clearer reasoning and end in such violent releases.

Men (African men?) hate for their manhood or manliness to be ridiculed, and for many there cannot be greater ridicule than infidelity of their women (sometimes even of their concubines!), especially one done carelessly and with utter disdain – in comes the likes of the banished Deji of Akure, Oluwadare Adesina!.

Women know this, and some would readily taunt their husbands with it (even without truly having engaged in one) as their own "get back" in moments of hot verbal exchange of insults and abuse; anything just to "hurt" the men as much as they are hurt. And so death may come visiting even the innocent.

In Nigeria the women are either conditioned to accepting their men's insane flaunt of their "tigritude", or are completely helpless about it in a male-chauvinistic condoning society, but once outside these shores, they find freedom and are quick to "teach" their men a lesson or two in the aphorism "what a man can do, a woman can do better!" – this, to the chagrin of the Nigerian man.

But, at the bottom of it all, is the question of what, truly, is the nature of Man, as in Human Beings – for, make no mistake about it, women have similar emotional and sexual urges as men do. Evolution and the process of socialization and acculturation are what modify and continue to modify human relationships and tendencies. This topic cannot be exhausted in an article such as this of limited space. But there are wild women just as there are wild men.

Last week when my family went visiting the engaging family of Ola and Lola (Soyinka) in Abuja, the discussion dwelled on this issue of man-woman relationship and what nature imposes that Man "disposes". What, for instance, is the concept of "infidelity" and "cheating" to a Nigerian (nay, African) man as opposed to the Western or Caucasian man? Where does the concept of "cheating" come into a marriage when the man is allowed, even encouraged, to have more than one wife? Why, for instance, would an Eskimo (reportedly) consider "gifting" a visiting friend his wife for the night as a mark of love or appreciation for the friend?

And talking of wild women, one should pray never to encounter some really outrageously wild ones that would put one's better principles in jeopardy as happened recently to a good friend of mine in Ibadan. This friend, Jide, is a successful businessman, married to a German, and his business straddles both countries – Nigeria and Germany.

Whilst driving himself one evening in Ibadan, another car drove roughly past and overtook him. And, as is wont to happen, an exchange ensued between Jide and the other driver. Both men came out. Jide wondered what manner of man would drive thus. While the men did their out-staring and out-shouting game, the woman in the other car (who turned out to be the wife) came out in fury at Jide's "audacity" to confront her husband, and without hesitation gave Jide a nasty (dirty, as we would say) slap. "Don't you know you are taking to a Commissioner?" Apparently the husband is a Commissioner of something or another in the state.

Now, what would one do in that circumstance? Rub the cheek and let the "spirit of God" sway against the devil? Lock both husband and wife until a policeman can show up? Or do the instinctive – tear both wife and husband to shreds? Indeed kill or die if need be? It is an encounter one should pray never to be caught in, for how could one know how one would react?

But, back to the murder that started this piece. There can be no justification for taking someone else's life, and temporary insanity on account of adultery, or dehumanizing insult cannot be excuse enough.

This Ademoye guy has "killed" three lives – his wife's, his son's, and his own. He certainly faces possibly life imprisonment. It is a shame that an otherwise glorious life would end thus, but his deed does not belong amongst civilized people. Nothing will bring back Juliet.

Goodnight Toyin.



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Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Lagos100percent posted on 07-13-2010, 14:12:39 PM
Uncle Tunde,
May God grant us the spirit to control ourselves when we are angry. It is sda for both Toyin and her husband. I think we all must learn from cases of this nature.
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
First-lady posted on 07-13-2010, 14:24:40 PM
I contributed heavily on a thread about this ill until I heard from a reliable source even before I read in print that the woman's only child was possibly not her husband's and that was what set the man over the edge.
Unbeknown to the man his wife was impregnated by a lover of her's in Naija 18 years ago and she married her husband not telling him she was pregnant but maintained relationships with her lover in Nigeria who knew the son was his.
They also said she was planning to relocate to Naija to be with the lover and had siphoned all their funds there.
The husband found correspondences detailing the wife's clandestine activities and lost it.
His restaurant was popular amongst Nigerians in Tampa,I heard that everyone who knew this pharmacist described him as a good man who got along well with people.He was active in the Oduduwa meetings over there.
Your typical all Nigerian male,if you will.
Hardworking,successful,good husband and father.

But I must add,that the woman is dead all the same.
We will never hear her side of the story will we?
Sad story.
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
First-lady posted on 07-13-2010, 14:32:57 PM
If any of these stories about infidelity is proven,with a good lawyer,he should be out in no distant future.
They will label it a crime of passion,he could be walking in a couple of years in some states
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Sulehassan posted on 07-13-2010, 17:14:58 PM
Infidelity or not, the man should have learned to control his rage, his temper, his emotions, his hurt ego. He should have sort legal advice and he could have insisted on DNA test for paternity of the child. This is the immaturity of the african, controlled by animalistic emotion and tendencies, act first and think later.

Yes legally he can claim temporary insanity for his action and will most probably be out if the facts of infidelity and paternity issues are true. But he will remain for ever a killer and a murderer. He has destroyed three lives: the dead wife, his son and his own.

What a pity. Violence, domestic violence especially should be condemned in whatever form it appears. Deji Akure was rightly added to the hall of shame list on NVS.
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Anioma777 posted on 07-13-2010, 17:38:43 PM
Tragic ending to the deceit of a woman if the story is to be believed. I suppose it is difficult to say with 100% accuracy what any man will do faced with this discovery. I feel sorry for Mr
Ademoye but killing his wife in this situation has only made things worse.

I have heard so much stories like this one about Nigerian women home and abroad and one has to ask what type of scarlet woman can harbour this "secret" for so long. Ofcourse this type of behaviour as the author rightly stated is common to the human race but it's a bitter pill for any man to swallow......sad sad sad!!!
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Betty posted on 07-14-2010, 22:02:13 PM
Honey, you are very misinformed of the justice system in the US. You guys read tit bits of information in the news what goes on in the US and just jump without knowing all that is involved. This man has many strikes against him. He is a black man and a Nigerian who are known in the justice system to have no regard for women. A good lawyer that will get you acquited of capital murder will cost you at least $200,000.00 and more and he may need more than one lawyer. I hope this guy has this kind of money. I hope he does not live in Texas because even with his money, the most brilliant lawyer and a very lenient judge, he will serve at least 10 yrs. Not to mention that he will lose his license as a Pharmacist.
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Dewdrops posted on 07-14-2010, 22:10:33 PM
QUOTE:
From what Bose gathered through a caller, Toyin was murdered by her husband and within days of her return to the States from that trip. Bose would be heading to Toyin's mum's place to console her, she said – if consolation were possible of a mother in that calamity.

But now more detail is out and on the Internet, Juliet, the English name Toyin apparently had come to be more known by, was clubbed to death with a baseball bat by her husband of 18 years!


The tragic incident happened at the couple's home at 8615 Villa Largo Drive, Tampa, Florida. From a story posted on a Nigerian newsgroup email, Juliet whose age is put at 53 was married to Olufemi Oladapo Ademoye, 52, a successful pharmacist and popular restauranteur in Tampa, Florida, USA, and the couple has an only child by the marriage. Olufemi Ademoye, according to the report, was taken into police custody on June 16, 2010 charged with second-degree murder of his wife and mother of his son.


All na African values now!!!
Beast!


QUOTE:
According to the story, Ademoye was enraged by his \"discovery\" of his wife's infidelity through some of her emails, which also led him to realize that she was probably already pregnant when they met and got married but she misled him into believing that he was the biological father of the child when he may, after all, not have been by him. [B]Of course, this story is strongly refuted by Toyin's friends and family who insist it is baseless.
The phenomenon of spousal murder is certainly not one limited to any ethnic group, nationality, or race. It is a human phenomenon and a human tragedy. Wives kill husbands (perhaps more than) husbands kill wives. In most of the instances, infidelity on the part of one or the other is at the root. But essentially it is the crass inability of one or the other to control their basest animalistic urge that result in the loss of clearer reasoning and end in such violent releases.

Men (African men?) hate for their manhood or manliness to be ridiculed, and for many there cannot be greater ridicule than infidelity of their women (sometimes even of their concubines!),
especially one done carelessly and with utter disdain – in comes the likes of the banished Deji of Akure, Oluwadare Adesina.[/B]


Boolshheeeeet!!!.....Let him go and cool his heels in jail jare and have that his ugly 'blackhole' jammed and rammed by/with hot metal rods amongst other things by fellow inmates till he bleeds to death and all his intestines fall out to rot without any formal burial. May his damned spirit find no resting place in the afterlife. Amen! ray:

18 years of marriage? Like he loved the congo sooooooooo much! Psycho!
The reason marrying from certain parts of Nigeria remains a TABOO for me.....with angry, psychotic men for the most part.

What an insecure buffoon! Why not leave the marriage???

All these maniacs on rampage!
No matter the level of education.....or exposure...they still act like "neegers"!!!


Tufiakwa!
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Dewdrops posted on 07-14-2010, 22:30:42 PM
QUOTE:
Tragic ending to the deceit of a woman if the story is to be believed. [COLOR=\\"Red\\"]I suppose it is difficult to say with 100% accuracy what any man will do faced with this discovery. I feel sorry for Mr Ademoye but killing his wife in this situation has only made things worse.

I have heard so much stories like this one about Nigerian women home and abroad and one has to ask what type of scarlet woman can harbour this \\"secret\\" for so long. Of course this type of behaviour as the author rightly stated is common to the human race but it's a bitter pill for any man to swallow......sad sad sad!!!


What a bitter pill for a man....the almighty giver and taker of life to swallow indeed!
When you guys are "doing" your own runs.....who is clubbin' your brains out of your skulls?

Then you act like a man and leave the marriage quietly........no need to be violent.
Self-control is one thing that separates animals from humans.
Thank God for some husbands I swear.
When you read stories like this.....you just go home and hug them for tolerating you and all your 'waka-waka'......out of sheer love..........he he he.....porson for don quench since ooooh...


I berra keep my eyes open and watch out for any suspicious behaviors..... Thank God I don write my final will and testament......

Death by baseball bat....not even a gun....


What a beast I say!!!
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Obugi posted on 07-15-2010, 00:02:36 AM
My People,

Death is not the worst thing that can happen to a man. This man did what he had to do.

The thing is, the in built favoritism of the law towards women has led too many of them - especially Black Women - to think they can get away with anything.

They will defecate in your mouth and insist the man savor the the taste and accept it because "this is Haaaammmmeeerrriiika" or "Loooonddoooon"

It's good that every once in a while they meet a man who won't eat the crap.

The whore deserved to die.

!Get Yours!
Obugi.
Re: Why Did This Nigerian Kill His Wife?
Toksyleigh posted on 07-15-2010, 08:18:45 AM
My Brother Obugi,

Thank you o jare! sometimes what I do not understand about our people is this crap about once a person is dead you should not speak ill of them; even if this person was a devil when she/he was alive. Listen Yes, the woman in question is not around to say her side of the story but she would have been alive today if the story was not true or at least have a HINT of truth in it; at least she was falsely married to man for about 19years until the man knew the truth.

My take is, if you live by the sword or ride around on the back of the lion thinking that the lion is a fool, one day when the lion discovers the truth, you will get what is coming to you and this is exactly what happened to this woman period. She lived by sword and she died by the sword. Please do not judge anyone until you have walked in their shoes...if you do not love a man/woman it is better you tell the truth and live free than live a lie and eventually get what liars get.....Integrity, honesty is never the Nigerian way.

My friend once retorted that " do you know how many Naija marriages both home and abroad will scatter if Naija men decided that they want to have DNA test for kids" If you have not done it for ya own kids, please think about it.

God help us all,
Goriola Abamieda Jr.

Eze Wuruwuru of NVSnull
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