The die is cast; fate has taken charge; no going back; it is endgame! – TF
The imaginative (and imaginary, if I may add) setting is a large enclosure (actually a disused produce warehouse) on the far outskirt of the town. It is dingy and bare.
Within are over 500 persons that have been rounded up and picked from all over the country “without fear or favour” to ethnicity, religion or status. According to the captors, who have gone on air under the self-proclaimed tag of People’s Revolutionary Group (PRG) those picked were those they called “ruiners of the country and their collaborators”; leaving it to the rumour mill to adduce circumstances that may have “qualified” one person or another in the long list reeled out of the captives.
The sentry had looked in, the rays from his searchlight piercing the darkness and blinding the herd – they couldn’t have been better than a herd of cattle. The massive steel gate slammed shut with a crushing bang, jarring the ears and soul of the villains who were yet to get accustomed to their new environment and ritual, as the sentry withdrew hissing and muttering under his breath.
Villain 1 (V1): What did the zombie say?
V2: Didn’t hear him well, but something like “bastards, your end don come”.
V3: Na hin mama be bastard, na hin papa be bastard.
V4. Ha, no be Baba voice I hear so? Baba is here too? Can’t believe it.
V2: (angry) What can’t you believe, who else should have been number one to be here? Isn’t he the one who got us into all this mess in the first place? Always believing he knows it all! Yeye Baba.
V3: Go on, say any nonsense you want, but count your luck it’s dark in here and I can’t see your face to land you better blow. Silly, rude boy.
V5: Why can’t you just shut up, you this old man. This is not the time for acrimony, it is time to unite and pray. There’s nothing God cannot do; the Lord of hosts who saved Daniel from the den of lions. By his grace we will not die here. All weapons fashioned against us shall not prosper.
V6: Will you shut up please! Prayer is too late. We are all guilty as charged and I am ready to go to heaven or hell, whichever. We had the opportunity to run the country well but the insatiable greed of the few got us all here now.
V2. Me I never ready to die o. Wetin I get no even reach one billion naira.
V1: You National Assembly people got us into this mess with the amount of
money you guys allocate to yourselves monthly and endless bribe taking and
blackmailing. It was clear the bubble would burst one day.
V4: Rubbish! The amount of stealing and squandering going on in the Rock nko? Billions and trillions being spent without appropriation, and when we say anything the Niger Delta card will be flashed saying if anything happens to their man the country will blow.
V7: So is that why you guys began your Boko thing, bombing everywhere and destroying the peace of the country?
V4: Which peace? Peace of the graveyard!
V6: Anyway, it’s all over now. I just wonder what they want to do with us, bring us out one by one to shoot or what?
V2: I overheard one zombie saying they will poison gas us gabadaya like Nazi gas chamber.
V3: Any tin wey dem like, me I dey kampe.
V2: How you no go dey kampe, yeye Baba. Na your own crime pass. You tif pass everyone and you go dey shout tif tif. You had the opportunity to put the country on good footing but you squandered it all on the altar of your ego. Then ended up giving the country someone who has no clue. May Allah not forgive you in aljana.
V8: Please you don’t have to insult me. Na me no get clue? Clue to what, clue to your greed? Not one day did you guys give me a chance to do anytin. It’s all harassment and blackmail just because I am not Hausa.
V9: I beg don’t bring your tribal talk here, that’s what finished the country in the first place. Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo, Fulani, Minority, all nonsense. Now death is coming to sort us all out.
V10: My only regret be say I for don allow Oyinbo people jail me instead of escaping back here dressed like a woman. I for no dey inside this mess now. Chei, see how James come dey lucky o.
V1: I wonder how many of us dey here sef?
V2: I overheard one zombie saying about 520.
V9: 520? No, it can’t happen. Nigerians and the world community will not let it happen. Hell will break loose!
V4: What hell? I beg don’t deceive yourself anymore. But if it’s only 520 then the job is not finished. If they want to truly catch every person who has ruled and ruined the country then the number can’t be less than 5,000. Otherwise, it’s an unfinished business and that’s where katakata go soon burst!
V1: Then the country will be back to square one as it happened in 1966. If you want to rid the country of those who have contributed to the ruin then you have to kill everybody, even the unborn child. If you kill more Hausa than Yoruba or more Igbo than Fulani or Middle-belt than South-south, then one side will soon nurse grudge and disbelief in the genuineness of the putsch. These people are just wasting their time, they would kill us for nothing.
V9: Who are they anyway? I hear they are not the military.
V10: Military ke? Those ones worse pass. Even here in this chamber at least half of us are former military officers from what I sniff.
V2: (Laugh) You still dey sniff that your cocaine?
V10: You dis small yaro, mind yourself o.
V6: I think it’s the people’s uprising. But can’t we do something? Baba, oya now, help us. Sebi the sentry na Nigerian, he must have a price according to the theory of our other Baba for north.
V4: He dey here quiet o, minding his own business. I beg leave am alone.
V6: If he’s here then nothing will happen to us, the Maradona will dribble himself out of here. His reach is everywhere.
V2: People’s revolt? Nigeria fit get people’s revolt? I don’t believe it. There must be some unseen hand in this. Maybe it’s America.
V9: Let me do small arithmetic of those here: NASS 100, military (ex and serving) 100, Civil Service (ex and serving) 100, Executive (ex and serving) 50, Business elite and contractors 100, Others 50.
V10: Oga mathematician, change that military to 250 and reduce Civil Service and Business people by 50 each. All the bunkering wey dey go for the country na military people dey behind it, giving it cover.
V6: Na military dey behind subsidy roguery? Na military visit FO to collect $3m? Na military dey behind Halliburton and Siemens? Na military dey behind Pensions scam? The country is rotten completely and it’s no use pointing fingers at any sector. Na all of us.
V4: Well, if death in this way is the price to pay to ‘cleanse’ Nigeria and make her start anew, so be it. But if by our dying nothing will change for the better then may our blood be on the head of those behind it all. Allah akbar!
Outside there’s commotion, a large mob had gathered shouting: “Kill them, kill the rogues”; “This is the beginning, there are more”; “Get rid of them, we want our country back”… and so on.
No one knows exactly those behind it and what will happen next. Then darkness fell, the darkest hour just before the dawn.