Why so hard to find "Westernised" Nigerian Woman?
Abeg my two kobo thoughts:
Instead of focusing on the 'westernised' in the Nigerian woman, why not just look for a Nigerian woman? Except, of course, your idea of a Nigerian woman (let's try not to generalize here) is the crude and uneducated one. If that has been your experience then you must have been meeting the bad lot.
My issue with the 'westernised' in the Nigerian woman is that you may end up finding that any good Nigerian lady you meet out there may not meet the ideal 'westernised' picture which you have created in your mind. A good Nigerian woman is educated, knows what she wants, cares for her family and continues to do her best among other things. She may be born in the West or has lived there for a long time, but she appreciates and understands everything Nigeriana. She is not afraid to uproot herself from the Western world she is so used to and go back to her father land.
That is a Nigerian woman and I would take her anyday instead of a 'Westernized Nigerian woman' - whatever this means.
abeg, how goes your quest to meet and woe that westernized Nigerian woman?
This is wishing you success in that area and hope you tell us how successful you were, just in case others here have a similar desire to meet such women.
When I visualise a "westernised" Nigerian woman, I visualise a westernised black woman with a Nigerian twist... That is to say I think of a woman who is simple yet sophisticated at once! simple as in modest in her use of makeup, sophisticated to the extent that even her eyebrows are properly plucked, her nails well manicured, clean and NOT painted.. Someone who is well put together, who understands her womanhood, can be understated yet sensual and elegant.. A strong beautiful black woman who happens to be Nigerian or of Nigerian origin; an equal in every respect!!
Why dont you tell me if I am being unrealistic? I don't think I am though since those things I mentioned are things which any professional black woman should be able to afford on her own at the very least!
I hear you on your experiences with westernised black women, but unlike you, I'll wager there is one out there with everything to offer me!!...
Will it make any difference if the woman when angry started speaking in her local dialect in reference to your pidgin outburst when angry?
I will say the ease or difficulty in meeting a 'Westernised" Nigerian women all depends on where you go looking, what your expectations are and what you visualize as being a "westernised Nigerian woman". I have to ask are you being realistic?
I use values, culture and social-ecomomic index when deciding on dating or playing around.
"A westernised nigerian woman is bad news. Stay well clear of them unless you just want a play thing and nothing serious."
As for my comment above, I say they are bad news because many of them are CONFUSED as to how they bridge the cultural cross-roads when in a relationship or about to embark on one, hence I said it depends on if you just want to play or be serious. Granted it depends on the individual but in my experience they have nothing to offer me.
I think the above just answered your question, Hellofadude.
If its so easy to find such a woman, i guess this discussion would have been simply academic. I have learned in life not to hold too tenaciously to one point of view... i have also learned that a good woman is a good woman and no race on earth has a monopoly on good women.
I take love wherever i find her, and when i meet a woman that makes me happy and i can share a bellyful of laughter with, then am a happy man.
I don't believe the secret to a good marriage/relationship is to find a good partner, i think the secret is to be the good partner.
For me, the number one thing i seek in a woman is someone with a sense of humour. I love and enjoy laughter, i like pranks, i love light hearted banter, i enjoy teasing and doing silly things with my partner. Therefore a woman that can appreciate this in me and bring it out in me and give it right back would be my best friend.
I despise extremity of any form. I like middle grounds and compromises. A woman that is flexible with her beliefs and open to new experiences. I like the outdoors, so a woman that enjoys out door activities would be a big catch for me. I have a curious mind so i read wide, not limiting my interests to just things around me. i like a woman that can intrigue me and match me intellectually, have a broad view on life and enjoys the simple things in life, which are often the things people take for granted.
I don't care where she's from or what religion she espouses, so long as she has good moral values and will share my dreams and visions with me and i share hers with her and we work towards realizing our goals.
For me race or color is a non issue in a relationship. what counts more than anything else is friendship.. we must be great friends first, enjoy each others company and find pleasure in our jokes, company and games.
love making plays a big role in my relationships, so we must be sexually compatible and not have any hang ups or inhibitions when it comes to sex and love making.
A good relationship takes time, effort and commitment, so we must both be willing to put in the time and effort to make it work, equally, without the silly notion that a man must do all the work in a relationship.
What if you're Hausa and the westernized Nigerian girl is from Akwa-Ibom state, but resides in the west, would it make a difference to you? what if she's from Kogi state and is a Muslim and you're a Christian or vice versa? where will you draw the line?
What is the one thing you cannot compromise in a marriage partner? the fact that she must be Nigerian? the fact that she must be a black woman? the fact that she must be in the west? the fact that she must be a good woman? the fact that she must fall within a certain age bracket?
Then again: what makes a person a desirable partner for marriage or long term commitment?
...but to your question. Tough one! Yes, few and far between. I have always said the best place to meet 'quality' Nigerians is in school, in University. It gets tougher after everyone graduates and go in different directions. Hopefully, this club will draw in a few of the kind of ladies for the guys and men, for the ladies with the fundamental qualities that each is looking for. That would be really awesome.
We just have to be vigilant and open-minded. Nobody said it would be easy but when you find her. It will all be worth it
By westernised, I mean someone who is sufficiently open-minded, not unneccessarily subservient; a committed Christain with a secular constitution...
@ anwulika - I am unsure of what you mean by demography in the context of my question, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with home-grown at all.. It is just that I feel I would by happy with someone with a similar background to myself. I have no doubt there are westernised girls in naija, but I can not say what the reason is for my particular tastes, its just the way it is. Though I read a study the other day where scientists found that people are most attracted to other people who represent in some way what they aspire to be...
Well how about this: because there is NO such thing as a "westernized Nigerian woman".
Now to the subject at hand, you haven't satisfactorily defined what you mean by "westernized." All I can deduce is your classification of her speaking abilities(as per fon-ne). Tell me wetin u regard as westernized qualities then i fit tell you where dem dey.
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