New villager here!

[anwulika]

Hello fellow indigenes. I am new to the village and really excited to get to know you all! You all are a fine looking group of people and I am happy to be among people that share similar interests and humour.

So tell me please...Who is the Village King, Queen (if one exists, she better watch out oh, I plan to replace her!), Village Elder, Jester, Town Crier and Village Amebo?

[Iye]

You are most welcome my sister and I see you are so ready to replace all the replaceable�..

This ya picture na one in town. Has anyone told you today how pretty you are? Allow me honors�.God surely did overtime on you. Wahala go dey for village square o

Make I begin look all those we go throwaway worigida for amaria

[Big-K]

Anwulika, welcome.

I'll send you "replacement" application forms shortly - after your visa Interview

Folks, Watch out for Anwulika's short stories...even "Soul Sista" go bow..

[valteena]

Fine, fine baby en go fine pass... abi na how dem dey sing that song again sef. You are very very welcome omo laya. Na you biko.

[Lalakokofefe]

Hello fellow indigenes. I am new to the village and really excited to get to know you all! You all are a fine looking group of people and I am happy to be among people that share similar interests and humour.

So tell me please...Who is the Village King, Queen (if one exists, she better watch out oh, I plan to replace her!), Village Elder, Jester, Town Crier and Village Amebo?

I see say you don go sheck out my pishur.... as you can see, i fine no be small. And as dem don tok say you sef fine, we go fit eash oda gaani, abi?

Welcome jare. Dis ya name sef dey make my shest dey do gbim gbim!

LKF

[anwulika]

Correct sistah IYE!! Thank you...na we go plan the take over together! xoxo!

Oga Big-K...I neva convince you yet?? You suppose just give me the position immediately! No wahala...give me interview make I pass! Thanks for the intro :-)

Valteena! In short...you are my new BFF!

Lala K! This your piksho is too muuuusssssh! If my name dey give you chest pain, your foto dey make my heart go yori yori. In short, I don know now say na you be the KING!!

Thanks for the love guys!

[netotse]

Correct sistah IYE!! Thank you...na we go plan the take over together! xoxo!

Oga Big-K...I neva convince you yet?? You suppose just give me the position immediately! No wahala...give me interview make I pass! Thanks for the intro :-)

Valteena! In short...you are my new BFF!

Lala K! This your piksho is too muuuusssssh! If my name dey give you chest pain, your foto dey make my heart go yori yori. In short, I don know now say na you be the KING!!

Thanks for the love guys!

hehehe...the boys are around...yes ke...

anwu baby, how far na? anything for the boys? make i show? this one wey you wan enter this place without seeing 'roger' it's not pure o...

welcome to the village, cant wait to read them stories Big-K was talking about

[anwulika]

Netotse...I never know you but the way wey you take call my name eh...na you be the front runner now! Plenty love dey no worry...make you show face!

[Igboamaeze]

----

Fost hof hall, u har welukom.

But hai jus de warri for the shpellin hof dat yua fine name. As the leader of the Ariaria cum Ogbete Okirika dealers for this yard, hai sopos sabi say, the shpelin get one kain k-leg. But hai shabi say na oyibo komputa fault be dat one.

You all are a fine looking group of people...

Na true tok.

[H]ok, u don shee Lala. Jus wet shmall, make my bloda Bill Carson show face. E be laik say na Bill be de handsomenest for this hawa yard.

Heyni way, u har welukom...

[denker]

Hello fellow indigenes. I am new to the village and really excited to get to know you all! You all are a fine looking group of people and I am happy to be among people that share similar interests and humour.

So tell me please...Who is the Village King, Queen (if one exists, she better watch out oh, I plan to replace her!), Village Elder, Jester, Town Crier and Village Amebo?

..if ya fit replace one fake mallam gwobezentashi, then me and you go be good friend for life..

anywaz, welcome...

[anwulika]

Igboamaeze...I thank you for the warm welcum o! I don already prepare myself say ndiigbo go give me hard time but as you talk, na oyibo computer fault! :-P

I neva see Bill but now you don talk say im fiiine pass Lala K, I dey curious!

Denker... Make mallam show face first... him piksho dey fine? Hope say no be jealousy cos he hansom pass dey do you?? Thanks for the warm welcome again!

[Lalakokofefe]

I neva see Bill but now you don talk say im fiiine pass Lala K, I dey curious!

Anwu ma dia, you see as dem wan put san san for awa garri oredi? We nefa efen start dis awa lof and dem don wan scata us. No gree for dem o!

LKF

[First-lady]

a lot of interesting females are now invading the village
Welcome Anwuli
My only problem is that we have all these writers come by and once they hit it big,they just wave us bye bye and move on leaving us little people like they found us
see Myne Whitman
See Feddygirl
even my broda dem
Now Anwulika is here
please my dear,even after you hammer,still come in to say ekasaan and ekaaro to us once in a while
It will make me feel better
See how we all love your personality
are you just going to throw all this away?
chai
Anwuli
(First lady gets out her hanky to wipe her tears)
abeg now
I am begging now now so even if you had in mind to leave,for my sake you will stay
Let me go and get myself together.
(10 minutes go by)

Welcome to the village,I have visited your blog and enjoyed it
I wish you the best and hope your dream as an accomplished writer comes true

[Big-K]

Oga Big-K...I neva convince you yet?? You suppose just give me the position immediately! No wahala...give me interview make I pass! Thanks for the intro :-)

Ok O. Don Abraxas, oya, check anwulika out to see if she qualifies for our directorate of laptop affairs

[anwulika]

LOL...Lala K, no worry...plenty love dey to rish evribodi. My lof no dey divide e dey multiply.

First lady...I dey kneel o! Ekaasan ma! Kabiyesi! Iya ile, joo no mind all the talk wey I talk before about Queen matter...na just mouth I get. Thanks for the compliment! I am honoured.


I must commend you all on this oasis that you have created. I was up till the wee hours of this morning reading article after article and was blown away by how talented you all are! I see how great this website is and I understand your vision: A place where writers and aspiring writers can come together to share their work, foster their talent and stay connected.

Please be rest assured that I am not "touch and go" and I always remember where I came from. This will be a "village" in name only...I can already forsee it (maybe I will leave Queen matter and pursue witchdokita?)

I also have to say that I LOVE the idea of "earning your stripes" to become a bonafide villager. It is really a cool concept and a very good way to ensure strength and integrity of the village.

The day I am inducted into the clan, we go patii for village square oooo!

[Anioma777]

@Anwulika

Welcome to NVS...but villagers you know I am a soft guy with a fragile heart so make sure Anwulika's screening process is thorough because my heart has never been the same after.......(tears)....see below..........

Anwuli why why why why why why why......they have even just taken the house.....I am finished!!!




You made a good choice joining the one and only Nigerian social website!! Enjoy!!!

[anwulika]

Chai! I knew this song would come back and haunt me ooo...Anioma, my love...abeg noooow! I know say I chop your money run comot but please forgive.

This your haircut fine! No worry, I go pay barber...make I enter limo go find person to change for this hundred dollar bill. I dey come!

five hours later...

Thanks for the warm welcome Anioma777!

[emj]

Hello fellow indigenes. I am new to the village and really excited to get to know you all! You all are a fine looking group of people and I am happy to be among people that share similar interests and humour.

So tell me please...Who is the Village King, Queen (if one exists, she better watch out oh, I plan to replace her!), Village Elder, Jester, Town Crier and Village Amebo?

Lasafatu, emj drawing a line in da sand and rearranging her head-gear..gengen..........Sexaaaaaaa, na wia Igwe dey o....se u don hia wetin anwulika dey yarn...she wan come commandeer igwe comot from ya very B4...chei, i shudder at the thought of this o..abomination. I know say u know say she juess dey rake scatter ground for nathing....the gods no go fit allow such tingy..hic

Anywaz, my pikin, i see say u bin don dey draw water from da different different rivers wey dey for dis our fillage of no regrets...but then, u must with utmost alacrity complete ur applico for residence permit, and then supply all da supplyables, B4 we go fit even talk of dat other Laptop duties dem o(kai oga Laptop duties don dey salivate).....ehen

I see say u don begin add value to our fillage of no regrets.

Quick qweshion....na wetin u think say remain wey we suppose put throwey for inside dat our library, most especially the Book-Section?

EMJ
Chairperson BOT JJCamb


PS>>....no vacancy for Queen o...but vacancy dey for witchdokita/midwifey

[anwulika]

Abeg O! Emj no dey draw line na...I no get power to fight. You know see as I be? Na mistake I make. I go settle for concubine nsobu adiro.

Nawa o! This village hard ooo! So my river don dry be dat? As I don see say all my sweet talk no work make I jump process, I go join suffer people apply for visa and supply particulars as you talk.

So where dis application dey?

Council of Elders I dey hail una o! I bring kolanut/palmwine come and I dey ready to answer queshon...

[Dimaanu]

Lasafatu, emj drawing a line in da sand and rearranging her head-gear..gengen..........Sexaaaaaaa, na wia Igwe dey o....se u don hia wetin anwulika dey yarn...she wan come commandeer igwe comot from ya very B4...chei, i shudder at the thought of this o..abomination. I know say u know say she juess dey rake scatter ground for nathing....the gods no go fit allow such tingy..hic

Anywaz, my pikin, i see say u bin don dey draw water from da different different rivers wey dey for dis our fillage of no regrets...but then, u must with utmost alacrity complete ur applico for residence permit, and then supply all da supplyables, B4 we go fit even talk of dat other Laptop duties dem o(kai oga Laptop duties don dey salivate).....ehen

I see say u don begin add value to our fillage of no regrets.

Quick qweshion....na wetin u think say remain wey we suppose put throwey for inside dat our library, most especially the Book-Section?

EMJ
Chairperson BOT JJCamb


PS>>....no vacancy for Queen o...but vacancy dey for witchdokita/midwifey

Countess,


No be small 'tin!
Anwulika wan commandeer Igwe from my side? Na wetin we no go hia for Igwe's palace!
Ha ha..small pikin wey neva sabi merecine dey call am vegetable.

To cut a short story long: I was just relaksing with Igwe, after our morin siesta; when my chambermaid Angelina came to call me.
She narrated the story of how one chikito/opeke dey brag say na she be da next Lolo. Na who tell am say Lolo dey retire?
Anyway sha, I first pull Angelina ear for rumour mongering. Then, I send am make she take style go bring the person to da palace. I full ground, No shaking!
Na so she go bring Anwulika come.

To further cut a short story long: After I talk to am small, I assess am, come see say her waist neva mature finish. I knew what what to do.
As Igwe still dey enjoy the sleeping slumber of the morin siesta, I took Anwulika inside, opened Igwe's loincloth and showed her the machinery she will have to operate. Fear catch am! She come dey cry say she no wan do again. Say, instead, make she become Village witchdoctor.
That, by the way, is pending on the outcome of her Visa Interview process.
**Btw, thanks for looking out for me

@Anwulika
Welcome to NVS.
Looks like it will be fun conducting your Visa Interview.
Please be aware that the witchdoctor position is open, only to villagers, who have been granted the one and only Genuine Temporary Visa of our one and only beloved Village of Origin.

Oya, answer the Chairperson's question to kick off your interview:

Quick qweshion....na wetin u think say remain wey we suppose put throwey for inside dat our library, most especially the Book-Section?

Enjoy!

Dimaanu
SExA

[anwulika]

Quick qweshion....na wetin u think say remain wey we suppose put throwey for inside dat our library, most especially the Book-Section?

Hmmm...lately I dey watch Ben Okri for youtube. I like as e dey sofri answer queshon. I dey read im book dangerous love and if una neva review am, e go dey nice make we explore that side.

---------- Post added at 12:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:20 AM ----------

Dimaanu I dey hail you o! I jus reply queshon com dey see you. Nwanyi oma! Na small girl dey worry me true true but you don humble me no be small. Na true you talk! Fear catch me after I see the weapon. U dey try oooooo!

I am ready for my interview. I dey aim to become witchdokita. I know the gods are on my side ;-)

[First-lady]

So Anwuli, did you study at the university of Toronto,in other words,do you have a Toronto degree?

[anwulika]

No, I do not have a Toronto Degree like our beloved former Nigerian Senator. I have a degree from Athabasca University in Alberta, Canada in Commerce and I am currently at University of Toronto enrolled in their Chartered Accounting Designation program.

[First-lady]

No, I do not have a Toronto Degree like our beloved former Nigerian Senator. I have a degree from Athabasca University in Alberta, Canada in Commerce and I am currently at University of Toronto enrolled in their Chartered Accounting Designation program.

I thank God for your life

Chartered accounting
you are too much o
chartered accountant in the making wey dey write stories too
I dropped literature in class 3
I just couldn't continue
I looked at the novels the lit students read and fear caught me
How did you manage?
Big books like King James Bible
Small small words and plenty of it,no pictures
I just ran away and entered Biology class at least the pictures of the human anatomy looked like fun
I said yes
I can relate to this right here


BTW I came to Toronto,lived in a hotel with my kids
By the 4th day,I wanted so badly to eat jollof rice or nkwobi sef
I took a bus going round the city looking for any sign that will say mama Bisi's restaurant or Abuja express
went round and round saw nothing of the sort
everyday on the city tours, while the tour guides are pointing out apartments of superstars and historic places I'm looking around for Naija restaurant and sniffing for aroma of Naija stew
una get Naija restaurants there,I plan on coming again

[Dimaanu]

[/COLOR]Dimaanu I dey hail you o! I jus reply queshon com dey see you. Nwanyi oma! Na small girl dey worry me true true but you don humble me no be small. Na true you talk! Fear catch me after I see the weapon. U dey try oooooo!

I am ready for my interview. I dey aim to become witchdokita. I know the gods are on my side ;-)

Hi, Ms. Anwulika!

I welcome you, officially, to the Village Twin Towers Complex (VTT), where newbies and repentant villagers voluntarily introduce themselves.
This is a highly interactive process, in the course of which your high, low and lukewarm blood pressure is measured and subsequently used to build your biometric profile. (Dat na EXPO I take style gii you for dia)


Please answer the following questions as truthfully as possible:

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

2. Have you been a member of other fora, and what would you say sets NVS apart?

3. If you were stranded in an island, what three things would you wish you had with you. (Give reasons)

4. Women are said to be the weaker sex. Do you agree?

5. What are your hobbies?

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

Thank you for a detailed response.

See you later.


Dimaanu
SExA to the Chairperson (JJCAMB)

[anwulika]

We thank God, We thank God...It has not been an easy journey and while accounting is my job, writing is my passion. My strongest point as an aspiring writer is my imagination. I took literature and creative writing in school as pre-requsites for my degree and will be taking a class in January to hone my technical writing skills.

I have lived in Canada for a decade now and from what I know we have always had Naija restaurants but you gat to know people who know these places. Dem no dey too advertise. If you are ever in Toronto again, hit me up and I will take you!

[First-lady]

Hi, Ms. Anwulika!

I welcome you, officially, to the Village Twin Towers Complex (VTT), where newbies and repentant villagers voluntarily introduce themselves.
This is a highly interactive process, in the course of which your high, low and lukewarm blood pressure is measured and subsequently used to build your biometric profile. (Dat na EXPO I take style gii you for dia)


Please answer the following questions as truthfully as possible:

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

2. Have you been a member of other fora, and what would you say sets NVS apart?

3. If you were stranded in an island, what three things would you wish you had with you. (Give reasons)

4. Women are said to be the weaker sex. Do you agree?

5. What are your hobbies?

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

Thank you for a detailed response.

See you later.


Dimaanu
SExA to the Chairperson (JJCAMB)

hiya!!

Una don already set WAEC papers for the girl
she never do prep time,examination time don already reach
Oya anwuli bring out ya biro abi na bic
they are asking you kweshons already
goodluck and God's speed

[anwulika]

[B]Please answer the following questions as truthfully as possible:[/B]

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

I was reading news on Philip Emeagwali on another Nigerian website called naijapals and in the article that was written about him, the village square was mentioned. It said that Mr. Emeagwali had written some articles here and I clicked to take a look them...I am yet to read these articles :-)

2. Have you been a member of other fora, and what would you say sets NVS apart?

I just recently joined Naija pals and online Nigeria. I was actually disappointed with these two websites and was under the impression from friends that they were the best that Nigeria had to offer in regards to online forums/blogs/news. My desktop computer actually caught a virus from online Nigeria and I cannot make any sense of Naija pals (I am not sure if it a dating site or what).

NVS for me has been everything I have been looking for in a website for Nigerians but I never thought existed. The articles are very well written, the website layout is very well done and the resources are like gold for an aspiring writer like me. I have since deleted my accounts from Naijapals and Online Nigeria.

3. If you were stranded in an island, what three things would you wish you had with you. (Give reasons)

Matches to make fire for cooking and for keeping warm

Pen and Paper to write with; Suffering, deprivation and lonliness can inspire great writing. I know I will write very good novels if I was stranded on an Island.


4. Women are said to be the weaker sex. Do you agree?

Neither sex is weak in my opinion. We just do things differently

5. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, watching TV, cooking and eating :-)

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

It the witchdoctor's job to consult the oracle at anytime of need and to deliver the message to the people; The witchdoctor should never to deliver any message that will in anyway upset the King or Queen or his/her head will roll.

It is the witchdoctor's job to check the health and well being of the King, Queen and villagers often and to administer roots and herbs for medicinal purposes when required.

It is the witchdoctor's job to put the villagers in check, remind them of the laws of the land and reveal punishment as dictated by the gods (or the king/queen posing as the gods) for any disobedience.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep the shrine clean and tidy.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep inventory of the sacrifices offered to the gods.

I hope my answers will suffice!

[netotse]

[B]Please answer the following questions as truthfully as possible:[/B]

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

I was reading news on Philip Emeagwali on another Nigerian website called naijapals and in the article that was written about him, the village square was mentioned. It said that Mr. Emeagwali had written some articles here and I clicked to take a look them...I am yet to read these articles :-)

2. Have you been a member of other fora, and what would you say sets NVS apart?

I just recently joined Naija pals and online Nigeria. I was actually disappointed with these two websites and was under the impression from friends that they were the best that Nigeria had to offer in regards to online forums/blogs/news. My desktop computer actually caught a virus from online Nigeria and I cannot make any sense of Naija pals (I am not sure if it a dating site or what).

NVS for me has been everything I have been looking for in a website for Nigerians but I never thought existed. The articles are very well written, the website layout is very well done and the resources are like gold for an aspiring writer like me. I have since deleted my accounts from Naijapals and Online Nigeria.

3. If you were stranded in an island, what three things would you wish you had with you. (Give reasons)

Matches to make fire for cooking and for keeping warm

Pen and Paper to write with; Suffering, deprivation and lonliness can inspire great writing. I know I will write very good novels if I was stranded on an Island.


4. Women are said to be the weaker sex. Do you agree?

Neither sex is weak in my opinion. We just do things differently

5. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, watching TV, cooking and eating :-)

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

It the witchdoctor's job to consult the oracle at anytime of need and to deliver the message to the people; The witchdoctor should never to deliver any message that will in anyway upset the King or Queen or his/her head will roll.

It is the witchdoctor's job to check the health and well being of the King, Queen and villagers often and to administer roots and herbs for medicinal purposes when required.

It is the witchdoctor's job to put the villagers in check, remind them of the laws of the land and reveal punishment as dictated by the gods (or the king/queen posing as the gods) for any disobedience.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep the shrine clean and tidy.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep inventory of the sacrifices offered to the gods.

I hope my answers will suffice!

tell dem!...i say tell dem!. dariswatiamtalkingabout Anwu-baby *doing a jig*, dikwa sure you dont have a degree in winshi-winshi? cos this your yarns, na ebeano!

[anwulika]

Netotse...the oracle has spoken! I no get degree for winsh...but winsh dey my blood...we get dem plenti for my family and to dey yarn na awa specialty!

[emj]

[B]Please answer the following questions as truthfully as possible:[/B]

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

I was reading news on Philip Emeagwali on another Nigerian website called naijapals and in the article that was written about him, the village square was mentioned. It said that Mr. Emeagwali had written some articles here and I clicked to take a look them...I am yet to read these articles :-)

2. Have you been a member of other fora, and what would you say sets NVS apart?

I just recently joined Naija pals and online Nigeria. I was actually disappointed with these two websites and was under the impression from friends that they were the best that Nigeria had to offer in regards to online forums/blogs/news. My desktop computer actually caught a virus from online Nigeria and I cannot make any sense of Naija pals (I am not sure if it a dating site or what).

NVS for me has been everything I have been looking for in a website for Nigerians but I never thought existed. The articles are very well written, the website layout is very well done and the resources are like gold for an aspiring writer like me. I have since deleted my accounts from Naijapals and Online Nigeria.

3. If you were stranded in an island, what three things would you wish you had with you. (Give reasons)

Matches to make fire for cooking and for keeping warm

Pen and Paper to write with; Suffering, deprivation and lonliness can inspire great writing. I know I will write very good novels if I was stranded on an Island.


4. Women are said to be the weaker sex. Do you agree?

Neither sex is weak in my opinion. We just do things differently

5. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, watching TV, cooking and eating :-)

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

It the witchdoctor's job to consult the oracle at anytime of need and to deliver the message to the people; The witchdoctor should never to deliver any message that will in anyway upset the King or Queen or his/her head will roll.

It is the witchdoctor's job to check the health and well being of the King, Queen and villagers often and to administer roots and herbs for medicinal purposes when required.

It is the witchdoctor's job to put the villagers in check, remind them of the laws of the land and reveal punishment as dictated by the gods (or the king/queen posing as the gods) for any disobedience.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep the shrine clean and tidy.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep inventory of the sacrifices offered to the gods.

I hope my answers will suffice!

Wow, u've wowed me with those answers...i have no doubt in my mind that u'll be a great asset to this village.
You also have success written all over u.....u will succeed in all that u set ur heart at and lay ur hands on.
Your profession is not an easy one, but i have no doubt in my mind that being a very articulate person, u will excel/succeed.
The Chartered Accounting Program will be a walk over for u.

Welcome to the square Anwulika.


EMJ
Chairperson BOT JJcamb

[Big-K]

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

I was reading news on Philip Emeagwali on another Nigerian website called naijapals and in the article that was written about him, the village square was mentioned. It said that Mr. Emeagwali had written some articles here and I clicked to take a look them...I am yet to read these articles :-)

In other words, Emeagwali INVENTED NVS. right?

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

It the witchdoctor's job to consult the oracle at anytime of need and to deliver the message to the people; The witchdoctor should never to deliver any message that will in anyway upset the King or Queen or his/her head will roll.

It is the witchdoctor's job to check the health and well being of the King, Queen and villagers often and to administer roots and herbs for medicinal purposes when required.

It is the witchdoctor's job to put the villagers in check, remind them of the laws of the land and reveal punishment as dictated by the gods (or the king/queen posing as the gods) for any disobedience.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep the shrine clean and tidy.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep inventory of the sacrifices offered to the gods.

I hope my answers will suffice!

Where's Abraxas o..see as Dimaanu dey take style steer away this JJC away from the DLA position into accepting a witchdoctor poition. Women....

[Dimaanu]

Where's Abraxas o..see as Dimaanu dey take style steer away this JJC away from the DLA position into accepting a witchdoctor poition. Women....

Your Excellency:

How can?.....I know better than to recommend a JJC for the village Witchdokita position, ke!
Shebi you see how I use my no6 ask am to list the job description of the witchdokita.
She score 4/10 only. Dat one no even reach Weak Pass.
Ms. Anwulika left out the most important job function: It is the duty of the witchdokita to castrate any man that beats his wife in dis awa beloved village of origin, plus other etc and etc.

So therefore, she still dey eligible for the DLA position.

I dey go come.

---------- Post added at 08:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:30 PM ----------

[B]Please answer the following questions as truthfully as possible:[/B]

1. How did you learn about this forum and what was it that made you say: "Today na today, I must to carry my kaya go settle for dia"

I was reading news on Philip Emeagwali on another Nigerian website called naijapals and in the article that was written about him, the village square was mentioned. It said that Mr. Emeagwali had written some articles here and I clicked to take a look them...I am yet to read these articles :-)

2. Have you been a member of other fora, and what would you say sets NVS apart?

I just recently joined Naija pals and online Nigeria. I was actually disappointed with these two websites and was under the impression from friends that they were the best that Nigeria had to offer in regards to online forums/blogs/news. My desktop computer actually caught a virus from online Nigeria and I cannot make any sense of Naija pals (I am not sure if it a dating site or what).

NVS for me has been everything I have been looking for in a website for Nigerians but I never thought existed. The articles are very well written, the website layout is very well done and the resources are like gold for an aspiring writer like me. I have since deleted my accounts from Naijapals and Online Nigeria.

3. If you were stranded in an island, what three things would you wish you had with you. (Give reasons)

Matches to make fire for cooking and for keeping warm

Pen and Paper to write with; Suffering, deprivation and lonliness can inspire great writing. I know I will write very good novels if I was stranded on an Island.


4. Women are said to be the weaker sex. Do you agree?

Neither sex is weak in my opinion. We just do things differently

5. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, watching TV, cooking and eating :-)

6. As an aspiring village witchdokita, what is your understanding of the job description?

It the witchdoctor's job to consult the oracle at anytime of need and to deliver the message to the people; The witchdoctor should never to deliver any message that will in anyway upset the King or Queen or his/her head will roll.

It is the witchdoctor's job to check the health and well being of the King, Queen and villagers often and to administer roots and herbs for medicinal purposes when required.

It is the witchdoctor's job to put the villagers in check, remind them of the laws of the land and reveal punishment as dictated by the gods (or the king/queen posing as the gods) for any disobedience.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep the shrine clean and tidy.

It is the witchdoctor's job to keep inventory of the sacrifices offered to the gods.

I hope my answers will suffice!

Great job, Anwulika! You go, girl!

About dat witchdokita position, e get small k-leg. Details later.
Meanwhile, what do you know about "Director of Laptop Affairs"? We need to fill that position, asap...pending awa Oga's approval, of course.

[anwulika]

Wow, u've wowed me with those answers...i have no doubt in my mind that u'll be a great asset to this village.
You also have success written all over u.....u will succeed in all that u set ur heart at and lay ur hands on.
Your profession is not an easy one, but i have no doubt in my mind that being a very articulate person, u will excel/succeed.
The Chartered Accounting Program will be a walk over for u.

Welcome to the square Anwulika.


EMJ
Chairperson BOT JJcamb

EMJ...XOXO...Thank you for the compliment and prayers...Amin!

---------- Post added at 02:12 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:49 AM ----------

In other words, Emeagwali INVENTED NVS. right?


Where's Abraxas o..see as Dimaanu dey take style steer away this JJC away from the DLA position into accepting a witchdoctor poition. Women....

Ha! Oga Big K! No be wetin I talk ooooh! Na wetin I mean be say dem bush settlers talk say him talk something for this village of no regret (say e perform magic)...I come say make I come verificate. As I come enter this una fiiiiiine village, I come see onedaful tings like bicycle, radio...una even get school wey dem dey debate and dey write inglish proper. Na so my head wan scatter wen I enter..even the matter wey bring me come, I come forget.

Abeg wey my oga Abraxas? I hear say wen i'm enter matter na final! Hey...fear dey catch me o... I hope say na visa letter no be deportation...me too I wan stay for God's own village!

---------- Post added at 02:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:12 AM ----------

Your Excellency:

How can?.....I know better than to recommend a JJC for the village Witchdokita position, ke!
Shebi you see how I use my no6 ask am to list the job description of the witchdokita.
She score 4/10 only. Dat one no even reach Weak Pass.
Ms. Anwulika left out the most important job function: It is the duty of the witchdokita to castrate any man that beats his wife in dis awa beloved village of origin, plus other etc and etc.

So therefore, she still dey eligible for the DLA position.

I dey go come.

---------- Post added at 08:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:30 PM ----------



Great job, Anwulika! You go, girl!

About dat witchdokita position, e get small k-leg. Details later.
Meanwhile, what do you know about "Director of Laptop Affairs"? We need to fill that position, asap...pending awa Oga's approval, of course.

Ha! Dimaanu...Nwanyi oma...you sure say na my paper? OK oooooo...I go take my result as you talk *sniff* *sniff*...na me be JJC.
I go take DLA if e still dey make I apply *sniff* No wahala...


K-leg ke?Ok oooo.. I will wait for details
Dis one wey I don fail already, fear dey catch me to answer "Director of Laptop Affairs" queshon. Make I go read book small...I dey come!

---------- Post added at 04:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:30 AM ----------

OK...I don read history finish, come back. I no go lie to find ansa to that queshon HARD!...but wetin I read come reveal to me say na serious privilege to get director of laptop affairs position.

So on the queshion of what I know about the Director of Laptop position the answer is this:

HISTORY:

Former Director of Laptop Affairs has been MIA for sometime now. The only evidence I could find that eludes to the fact that this person ever existed is cc in correspondences.

Job requirement is:

DO EVERYTHING OGA BIG K SAYS WITHOUT QUESTION, WITHOUT WASTING TIME!

DON'T GO MIA/AWOL!

[Abraxas]

Hi, our divinely anointed, amiable Queen, HRM (Ms.) Lolo-Igwe Dimaanu (SExA; GCOS)!

Madam Majesty, Ma, I hail yoo, from de very bottom of my sweet heart. Yuu dey kampe, no be small t'ing!

I beg, helep me see if ya PA/Chief Visa Review & Interrogation Officer, Engr. (Ms) High Priestess Iye (BEng; MBA; LLD; DD; PhD) done return back from de preliminary interlocutory background investigations of the cerebro-socio-politico-economic profiles, and other key attributes/potentials of the applicant, Ms. Anwulika (JJC)! Tell am sey, in line with due process, and in strict compliance with the laws of awa great Village of no sweat, I still dey wait for am make 'e come, before I go fit take further necessary diplomatic initiatives, particularly vis-a-vis the precise inventory of items to be dispatched to the Partykolas Warehouse of the Village Elders' Forum (Bar, Casino & Discotheque), post-visa approval protocols.

Tell am sey, de t'ing wey me I been see for de JJC 'ihm biometric analysis, plus including de ogbonge coloured 3-D close body scan, na real wa, my sister: Seke seke, figure 8!! Your Royal Majesty, my eye done see somet'ing for dis awa scanning machine dark room, I'm telling yoo!

Also tell High Priestess Iye sey wen 'e come finish, make 'e come again go send message take give my good friend, and former classmate, His Royal MajestyAlhaji (Prince) Dr. Moshood el-Riyadd Ibn Saud, make 'e try small, send me tiri (3) of 'ihm private jumbo jets, make I take manage lift special dignitaries, and my personal VIP guests from all over Planet Earth, make dem come gbaladun for VTT main bowl soon.

I dey come .... Yes, I still dey come....

Don't go away: I'll be back soon!

Muchas gracias.

Ambassador Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III); GCVS; Fellow of the Cabal & Member of the Kitchen Cabinet
Village High Commissioner & Life President of the Village Elders' Forum (Bar, Casino & Discotheque)

[anwulika]

Oga Abraxas...I dey greet you oooo!! (kneeling down). My heart beat gbim gbim as I see you for this council meeting. I thank you and I don hear you...make we await HRH Iye. Make I go sidon for mat wey dey reception...

[Iye]

Hi, our divinely anointed, amiable Queen, HRM (Ms.) Lolo-Igwe Dimaanu (SExA; GCOS)!

Madam Majesty, Ma, I hail yoo, from de very bottom of my sweet heart. Yuu dey kampe, no be small t'ing!

I beg, helep me see if ya PA/Chief Visa Review & Interrogation Officer, Engr. (Ms) High Priestess Iye (BEng; MBA; LLD; DD; PhD) done return back from de preliminary interlocutory background investigations of the cerebro-socio-politico-economic profiles, and other key attributes/potentials of the applicant, Ms. Anwulika (JJC)! Tell am sey, in line with due process, and in strict compliance with the laws of awa great Village of no sweat, I still dey wait for am make 'e come, before I go fit take further necessary diplomatic initiatives, particularly vis-a-vis the precise inventory of items to be dispatched to the Partykolas Warehouse of the Village Elders' Forum (Bar, Casino & Discotheque), post-visa approval protocols.

Tell am sey, de t'ing wey me I been see for de JJC 'ihm biometric analysis, plus including de ogbonge coloured 3-D close body scan, na real wa, my sister: Seke seke, figure 8!! Your Royal Majesty, my eye done see somet'ing for dis awa scanning machine dark room, I'm telling yoo!

Also tell High Priestess Iye sey wen 'e come finish, make 'e come again go send message take give my good friend, and former classmate, His Royal MajestyAlhaji (Prince) Dr. Moshood el-Riyadd Ibn Saud, make 'e try small, send me tiri (3) of 'ihm private jumbo jets, make I take manage lift special dignitaries, and my personal VIP guests from all over Planet Earth, make dem come gbaladun for VTT main bowl soon.

I dey come .... Yes, I still dey come....

Don't go away: I'll be back soon!

Muchas gracias.

Ambassador Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III); GCVS; Fellow of the Cabal & Member of the Kitchen Cabinet
Village High Commissioner & Life President of the Village Elders' Forum (Bar, Casino & Discotheque)

Ha Oga,

All correct sir, no vex�na this Christmas dey cause small distraction�since I start that village politics na em I see say politics dey flow small for me blood�so, therefore, hens fought�na em I enter town dey find who get 4 wey go give me 3 for this Christmas.

I don do background check for Anwulika and dey thing clean well, well only say further investigation and Wikileaks shows one Anwuli is the reason our own Anioma777 still dey cry of broken heart and has been going round the village singing�..�Anwuli you chop my money�

My dear Anwulika you will kindly explain if you are that same Anwuli with proof and counter proof.

*Back to campaigning for Christmas presents*

Iye

CIO/PA to SExA

[anwulika]

Hia! Na wetin happen since nineteen kiridi still dey follow me like dis?? Your royal highness, Lady IYE...I admit say I chop Anioma777 moni run comot house...na bad bad friends wey I get dat time wey gii me bad advise. Since den, I don repent come change. Me and Anioma don reconcile come dey lov eash oda again sef.

Honey!?! Ani...? Abeg come tell dem o! Dem wan hold my visa!

[emj]

Hia! Na wetin happen since nineteen kiridi still dey follow me like dis?? Your royal highness, Lady IYE...I admit say I chop Anioma777 moni run comot house...na bad bad friends wey I get dat time wey gii me bad advise. Since den, I don repent come change. Me and Anioma don reconcile come dey lov eash oda again sef.

Honey!?! Ani...? Abeg come tell dem o! Dem wan hold my visa!

Ahemmmmmm, bad debts written off.

[E_Pluribus_Unum]

watchin the ongoings with silent interest.