I dey salute o!

[Luchi]

Kpam! Kpam!! Kpam!!! Somebody dey here?Okay, I just wan hail all the elders wey dey this village. Una do well thus far, and i hope more better dey on the way for this great Naija village.
Ka Chineke mezie okwu.

[Bode_Boluz]

Welcome to the Community Mate. I hope you have a Great time with us and join in the many diverse topics and aspects of the Community.

[Dimaanu]

Kpam! Kpam!! Kpam!!! Somebody dey here?Okay, I just wan hail all the elders wey dey this village. Una do well thus far, and i hope more better dey on the way for this great Naija village.
Ka Chineke mezie okwu.

Hi, Luchi (from Cyprus)!

No be only elders dey for dis village o!

We get am for Boy Alincos, Sisi Ekos, Madam Kofos, Young Millionaires, Professors, Activists, Undergrads, omo-odes, Business tycoons, Warriors, etc,etc.

When you return, make you try hail everybodi join, and then, you go come open ya boot, come show us ya partykolas.

Inugo?....U hia?


Welcome to NVS!
We're glad that you are here!


Dimaanu
Adviser General

[Luchi]

Lolo Dimaanu,
Abeg help me beg them o! No be intentional over sight, na small tension wey catch me as i stepped into this mighty village. Shhh, you know who and who dey here? No be small thing o!
So, to all the gate men, ushers, yuppies and yummies in da villa; JJC Luchi dey say BIG UPS! One love.
In da boot, i have got kola, anara but i am still waiting for the NAFDAC No for the ose - oji.
Asper particulars, nothing mega, we go arrange dat Naija style.

[Dimaanu]

Lolo Dimaanu,
Abeg help me beg them o! No be intentional over sight, na small tension wey catch me as i stepped into this mighty village. Shhh, you know who and who dey here? No be small thing o!
So, to all the gate men, ushers, yuppies and yummies in da villa; JJC Luchi dey say BIG UPS! One love.
In da boot, i have got kola, anara but i am still waiting for the NAFDAC No for the ose - oji.
Asper particulars, nothing mega, we go arrange dat Naija style.

Ok, Luchi, dem don hear!

Na bicos of you I come work today o!
Tell me which Embassy you know, wey dey open on Saturdays.

Oya, answer the following Visa Interview questions:


1. Were you born in a Hospital, Maternity or at home?
2. Are you a student, if you're not, what do you do for a living?
3. How did you find out about NVS?
4. What did you like about NVS that prompted you to register?
5. Are you married, single and searching OR single but happy?
6. If a marriage is not blessed with male children, is it the man's fault, the woman's fault or both?
7. What are your hobbies?


Abeg, hurry up o, I wan close office soon.


Dimaanu
AG

[Luchi]

AG,
Thanks for the opportunity o! I hope US embassy go take a cue from you.
And for the questions:

1. None applicable. E be like sey na inside vehicle the thing happen,maybe that's why i am always attending visa interview.

2. I be specialist acada

3. / 4. Bumped into the villa by accident on da net. An all the discussion by da Drs and nurses here has somewhat relieved my BP

5. I am still with eleven ribs, the last one is yet to be found.

6. The dude needs to read Mordern Biology again

7. John Grisham + J.D. Robb = Relaxation

I hope i fit survive this interview.

[Ranter]

Luchi,
welcome aboard , fasten your seat belt and break out the peanuts.
Iam still the unsanctioned interview observer in area becaused i belong to the non aligned league.
see you around.

Ranter

[calist]

Luchi nwanne you are welcome to NVS.

You do well for the kola where you carry come for the elders.

But oh! Na small thing still dey hold you for this first phase of your visa interview process. The thing na question 6 & 7.

6. If a marriage is not blessed with male children, is it the man's fault, the woman's fault or both?
7. What are your hobbies?

Make you take time, read the questions, then come read am again; you go visualize say you never do correct justices to those questions.

Oya carry pen put for paper make you correct those miskate dem.

Cheers

Calist
Chief Visa Review Officer

[elgaxton]

Luchi welcome.

E be like sey u be correct person.

How dat side dey do u?

welcome o!

I dey come make I go bring ya security scan.


Elgaxton

O/c Village Homeland Security

[monakjohn]

Hi welcome onboard.

If you are denied visa to enter villa, contact moi.

I will galdly assist you welllaaa,
Cheers.

[elgaxton]

Hi welcome onboard.

If you are denied visa to enter villa, contact moi.

I will galdly assist you welllaaa,
Cheers.

How u want take do am?

[Luchi]

Luchi nwanne you are welcome to NVS.

You do well for the kola where you carry come for the elders.

But oh! Na small thing still dey hold you for this first phase of your visa interview process. The thing na question 6 & 7.

6. If a marriage is not blessed with male children, is it the man's fault, the woman's fault or both?
7. What are your hobbies?

Make you take time, read the questions, then come read am again; you go visualize say you never do correct justices to those questions.

Oya carry pen put for paper make you correct those miskate dem.

Cheers

Calist
Chief Visa Review Officer

6. My Biology teacher talk say when a man go buy X Paracetamol instead of Y Panadol Extra, da family headache aren't going no way.

7. Novel jamming and day dreaming about da missing rib!

[Dimaanu]

Hi welcome onboard.

If you are denied visa to enter villa, contact moi.

I will galdly assist you welllaaa,
Cheers.

Hey!....who be dis hustler?


Elgaxton O/C,

Bundle this man comot from VTT premises, PRONTO!

Suspend all your guys at the Gate...indefinitely!


Dimaanu
AG

[Abraxas]

How u want take do am?

Hi, folks!

Not'ing wey man pikin no go see for dis we village of eternal tranquillity and no regret. See JJC wey never even get 'ihm own visa, 'ihm dey promise to fast-track another fellow JJC 'ihm own visa.

Na wa for Wawa Autonomous Community, wey dey for Federal Republic of Wazobia.

Una no go kill me for dis Square. ... Blind man be optician for deaf and dumb pipul wey get eye to see, sef. Na real WA!!!

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
Welcomer-in-Chief & High Commissioner.
Director of Propaganda & Enlightenment, Special Task Force for the De-mystification of OBJ, IBB, et al.

[Luchi]

Luchi welcome.

E be like sey u be correct person.

How dat side dey do u?

welcome o!

I dey come make I go bring ya security scan.


Elgaxton

O/c Village Homeland Security

O/C,
Thanks o! Nothing dey happen, we dey manage anyhow, Ala-Bekee na 'Jide Obi gi Aka'

[Myne Whitman]

Luchi,

Nothing mega..I like that. Obodo oyibo oo, obodo uno oo..nothing mega. Naijas go always full ground dey kampe...lol

Welcome to the village...

[Ranter]

luchi,
welcome to the village,
abeg no do your visa 4 oluwole, try to comply with the due process to avoid mmakawara.
I get question for you:where do all the guyman (maga) wey fit knack big grammar for Naija dey work b4 dem come retire?

Ranter.

[Kurunmi]

I believe say this village get constitution and fundamental rights provisions dey inside. Y the elders dey koboko the JJC wen wan help a fellow JJC get visa?? Make elders remember sha say na 9ja we all be and anything can be arranged provided the arrangement is properly arranged.
However, the young shall grow!

Hi, folks!

Not'ing wey man pikin no go see for dis we village of eternal tranquillity and no regret. See JJC wey never even get 'ihm own visa, 'ihm dey promise to fast-track another fellow JJC 'ihm own visa.

Na wa for Wawa Autonomous Community, wey dey for Federal Republic of Wazobia.

Una no go kill me for dis Square. ... Blind man be optician for deaf and dumb pipul wey get eye to see, sef. Na real WA!!!

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
Welcomer-in-Chief & High Commissioner.
Director of Propaganda & Enlightenment, Special Task Force for the De-mystification of OBJ, IBB, et al.

[Dimaanu]

I believe say this village get constitution and fundamental rights provisions dey inside. Y the elders dey koboko the JJC wen wan help a fellow JJC get visa?? Make elders remember sha say na 9ja we all be and anything can be arranged provided the arrangement is properly arranged.
However, the young shall grow!

How pesin go help anoda pesin get wetin pesin wey wan help pesin neva get?

Blind man no fit lead blind man, ke!

The young shall grow.... A-m-e-n!


Hi, Kurumi!

Welcome to NVS!
We are still waiting for your Introductory thread.

[Dimaanu]

6. My Biology teacher talk say when a man go buy X Paracetamol instead of Y Panadol Extra, da family headache aren't going no way.

7. Novel jamming and day dreaming about da missing rib!

Hi, Luchi!


I have just reviewed your Visa Interview file. You have done well!

Welcome to the concluding aspect of the Visa process.

Here is a list of items (partykolas) that must be presented before the elders will pray for you and the Welcomer-In-Chief stamps your passport.

Here is the list:


(1) One basket of GENUINE Igboid kola nuts (oji Igbo)

(2) One basket of Arewaesque kola nuts (goro/gworo).

(3) One tiny teaspoon (5ml. max) of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu (without this, you file remains open)

(4) 10 x 50 litres jerry-cans of palmie (pasteurized palm wine powerless).

(5) Isi ewu (with 2 eyes, 1 tongue, and 2 ears per goat head)

(6) Unlimited suyarized and tenderized beef and pork barbeque (for all Villagers and JJCs).

(7) Roasted cocoyam to serve 50 seasoned elders (maximum).

(8) Nigerian omelet (for 50 seasoned elders only.)

(9) 2 crates of Hennessey XO champagne brandy, for His Excellency, Oga Big-K.

(10) 13 crates of Dom Perignon (for 13 very seasoned, kunu-allergic elders).

(11) 100 strings of Jigida beads for the women

(12) 50 tins of Saturday Night powder

(13) 20 wraps of eko (for the toothless elders)

(14) Spicy goatmeat peppersoup

(15) 30 crates of Crush & Mirinda Orange

(16) 50 cartons of Guiness Odeku

(17) 30 cartons of Malta Guiness

(18) 15 bowls of freshly ground Lahli (African tatoo)---reserved for Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB)

(19) 150 miniature jars of Tiro (African eyeliner)---reserved for the Chairperson, Board of Trustees(JJCAMB)

(20) 2 drums x 250 litres of high octane triple-distilled GENUINE 100 degrees proof ogogoro.

(21) Highly pepperized fresh fish pepper soup to serve all Villagers, JJCs, and their guests, including gatecrashers present.

(22) 50 plates of Salade Du Nigeriana (i.e. Ugba + okporoko, garnished with uziza/uda puree) for placating the hard-liners and hawks of the Elders' Forum.

(23) Unlimited supply of bitter kola, alligator pepper, and garden egg.

(24) 50 Coolers of Steaming hot Ajinomotoless jollof rice.

(25) 10 x 100 litres jerry-cans of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu.

(26) 12 coolers of plantain pottage

(27) 25 foil pans of pepperized snail (exclusively reserved for the women)


Simply make sure the above list is includedin ypur next post and your Visa will be approved.

See you at your Welcome party.


Dimaanu
AG

[Luchi]

Hi, Luchi!


I have just reviewed your Visa Interview file. You have done well!

Welcome to the concluding aspect of the Visa process.

Here is a list of items (partykolas) that must be presented before the elders will pray for you and the Welcomer-In-Chief stamps your passport.

Here is the list:


(1) One basket of GENUINE Igboid kola nuts (oji Igbo)

(2) One basket of Arewaesque kola nuts (goro/gworo).

(3) One tiny teaspoon (5ml. max) of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu (without this, you file remains open)

(4) 10 x 50 litres jerry-cans of palmie (pasteurized palm wine powerless).

(5) Isi ewu (with 2 eyes, 1 tongue, and 2 ears per goat head)

(6) Unlimited suyarized and tenderized beef and pork barbeque (for all Villagers and JJCs).

(7) Roasted cocoyam to serve 50 seasoned elders (maximum).

(8) Nigerian omelet (for 50 seasoned elders only.)

(9) 2 crates of Hennessey XO champagne brandy, for His Excellency, Oga Big-K.

(10) 13 crates of Dom Perignon (for 13 very seasoned, kunu-allergic elders).

(11) 100 strings of Jigida beads for the women

(12) 50 tins of Saturday Night powder

(13) 20 wraps of eko (for the toothless elders)

(14) Spicy goatmeat peppersoup

(15) 30 crates of Crush & Mirinda Orange

(16) 50 cartons of Guiness Odeku

(17) 30 cartons of Malta Guiness

(18) 15 bowls of freshly ground Lahli (African tatoo)---reserved for Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB)

(19) 150 miniature jars of Tiro (African eyeliner)---reserved for the Chairperson, Board of Trustees(JJCAMB)

(20) 2 drums x 250 litres of high octane triple-distilled GENUINE 100 degrees proof ogogoro.

(21) Highly pepperized fresh fish pepper soup to serve all Villagers, JJCs, and their guests, including gatecrashers present.

(22) 50 plates of Salade Du Nigeriana (i.e. Ugba + okporoko, garnished with uziza/uda puree) for placating the hard-liners and hawks of the Elders' Forum.

(23) Unlimited supply of bitter kola, alligator pepper, and garden egg.

(24) 50 Coolers of Steaming hot Ajinomotoless jollof rice.

(25) 10 x 100 litres jerry-cans of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu.

(26) 12 coolers of plantain pottage

(27) 25 foil pans of pepperized snail (exclusively reserved for the women)


Simply make sure the above list is includedin ypur next post and your Visa will be approved.

See you at your Welcome party.


Dimaanu
AG

Dimaanu,
Thank you o! As nwa -afor wey wan show total appreciation to im people, the content of this list is hereby doubled.Gbam. To be accepted by your people no be go com o! In fact, i just dey finish touching my forehead on da village square ground and raising my 2 hands on the air thanking Olisa for his mercies, who talk sey the verdict wouldn't have been REJECTED. My ogbu - oja (flutiest) and ndi - igba / ogene (minstrel) don dey gyrate, the elders ofor (prayers) must be accompanied to my ancestors with traditional rythms. Na so we dey do am! OYA,ORUO N'OMUME.
Luchi.

[elgaxton]

I believe say this village get constitution and fundamental rights provisions dey inside. Y the elders dey koboko the JJC wen wan help a fellow JJC get visa?? Make elders remember sha say na 9ja we all be and anything can be arranged provided the arrangement is properly arranged.
However, the young shall grow!

Hi Kurunmi, (JJC)

How u dey?

like her Excellency Dimaanu and Oga Abraxas Pointed out, how do you expect person wey neva get him own visa to help another person get visa...

No think am na even for Uk embassies wey dey here for naija how u want take do am?

That was why I asked o.

So where ur own intro thread sef ?


Welcome to NVS all the same.

[Dimaanu]

Dimaanu,
Thank you o! As nwa -afor wey wan show total appreciation to im people, the content of this list is hereby doubled.Gbam. To be accepted by your people no be go com o! In fact, i just dey finish touching my forehead on da village square ground and raising my 2 hands on the air thanking Olisa for his mercies, who talk sey the verdict wouldn't have been REJECTED. My ogbu - oja (flutiest) and ndi - igba / ogene (minstrel) don dey gyrate, the elders ofor (prayers) must be accompanied to my ancestors with traditional rythms. Na so we dey do am! OYA,ORUO N'OMUME.
Luchi.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
Welcomer-In-Chief of all NVS-compliant JJCs
Village Twin Towers (200th floor)
NVS-Cyberspace


March 21, 2008


Dear Oga,


Presenting..............LUCHI


The above named-JJC has satisfactorily completed his Visa Interview process.

I recommend that you, please, approve his request.

Thank you, Sir!



Dimaanu
AG

PS: Happy Easter in advance..... psst!... don't forget to sign our Easter Bonus checks o!

[Kurunmi]

We JJCs have our ways. dont worry u may soon see Oluwole for this village. Till the time come!
Thanks 4 da hailing! I greet and greet your legs join!!!

Hi Kurunmi, (JJC)

How u dey?

like her Excellency Dimaanu and Oga Abraxas Pointed out, how do you expect person wey neva get him own visa to help another person get visa...

No think am na even for Uk embassies wey dey here for naija how u want take do am?

That was why I asked o.

So where ur own intro thread sef ?


Welcome to NVS all the same.

[Abraxas]

The Village High Commission

200th Floor, The Twin Tower Complex, The Square NV1SQ, Cyberspace.

Official Website: http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com

Reference: VTT/VHC//JJCAMB/LC.8.002.Cap.30/32.Vol.4Q./87510227/.ApdxLXXVII(B)

Date: Sunday, 23 March 2008.


Hi, Luchi (JJC)!

Happy Easter, and congratulations!

Two (2) nuclear GBOZAs to you for your excellent inter-personal skills, for VOLUNTARILY and effortlessly minimizing your ego, conducting yourself very well, and successfully completing your visa interview.

I am writing to say that the time limit and conditionalities attached to your entering our Village of origin have been removed. An appropriate endorsement has been placed on your passport, which is enclosed.

You are now free to remain permanently in our very beloved Village of origin. You do not require any permission from anybody, to take or change employment in the Village Twin Towers Complex or any other Village Virtual Community for that matter. You may engage in any activity, provided you comply with the constitution of our dearly beloved Villageof no regret.

Finally, by the powers conferred upon me, on behalf of all Villagers and JJCs, I do hereby cordially, and very wholeheartedly, welcome you on board the Nigerian Village Square, the flagship of Nigeria in cyberspace, as a fully authenticated citizen of this Village.

We all look forward to your active participation in the Square, as you now leave the Village Twin Towers Complex. We also expect that you show some level-headedness, objectivity, consistency, maturity, and good interpersonal skills in your interactions with others, whenever YOU are on the Square.

Once more, welcome on board the Nigerian Village Square, the default home page of the Nigerian cyber-literati, worldwide.

TEMPORARY TRANSIT VISA APPROVED.

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III).
(a.k.a. His Eminence, Sheikh Sadiqq d�Fuxk of Sakkwato Khalifate, Darfur & Dubai Emirates)
(Welcomer-in-Chief of all NVS-compliant JJCs and repentant/recycled Villagers on earth, in Heaven, and beyond.)

cc: Department of Miscellaneous What-not-isms, Office of His Excellency (250th Floor)
cc: Chairperson, Board of Trustees, JJC Admission Matters Bureau (200th Floor)
cc: Adviser General (JJCAMB), (105th Floor).
cc: Chief of Staff (COS), Due Process Office, (104th Floor)
cc: O/c Village Homeland Security, (68th Floor)
cc: Database Administrator, DA. (Basement Level 11)
cc: Chief Visa Review Officer (CVRO) (97th Floor)
cc: Senior Interrogation Officer, SIO. (69th Floor)
cc: Trainee Special Assistant (TSA) to the AG (104th Floor)
cc: Trainee Visa Review Officer (Pre-inspection), TVRO. (97th Floor)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPENDIX 1:

Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel according to Prophetess (Honourable) Patricia Olubunmi Etteh, the horny mistress of a randy former military dictator.

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):

And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, a man was standing at the pearly gates of heaven, and Saint Peter (the chief immigration officer on duty) addressed him:

�All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you expedited passage into the Kingdom of God.�

The man said: �No problem�

He then proceeded to testify to Saint Peter that he once stopped at a road intersection and saw a motorcycle gang (i.e. oyibo militants, cultists, and restive youths of the Mississippi Delta region) harassing a young woman in down town ancient Louisiana, US of A. He got out of his car, walked up to one of the oyibo militants, (who was over seven feet tall, and must have weighed nearly 200 kilograms), and told him that abusing and harassing a young woman is a cowardly, uncivilized, un-Christian, and an un-gentlemanly act, and that he would not tolerate such acts of barbarity in his presence. He then reached up, yanked out the oyibo militant's nose ring and bandana, and kicked him hard in the blokos (balls) to make his point.

Saint Peter frantically searched the man�s life records in his book in front of him, and said:

�I can�t find that incident anywhere in your file. .... When did that happen?�

The man looked at his watch and said:

�Oh, about five minutes ago.�

That is the end of my first story for today.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPENDIX 2:

Revised Angelic Verses (RAV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel According to the ikebescopically bootilicious Calabar house girl and third wife of Prophet Abraham called Prophetess Christiana Amankpong (alias Garri Gabon).

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):

And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Abeokuta, General Okikiolakan Olusegun Sikiru Igbochukwu Aremu Obasanjo (GCFR) was, as usual, hosting a dinner in his 250 bedroom mansion (so-called presidential library) when, at the last minute, his regular cook took ill, and they had to get a replacement at very short notice. The fellow arrived, and turned out to be a very grubby and scruffy looking man named Rasaki. General Igbochukwu Aremu Obasanjo voiced his concerns to his chief of domestic staff, Native Doctor Nnamdi Uba, but was told that that was the best they could do at such short notice.

Just before the meal, Baba Senator Iyabo noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it, and again he complained to the chief of domestic staff about the cook, but he was told that the man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the Balogun of ancient Owu was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse, till finally, he had to excuse himself from the banquet hall to look for the executive latrine.

Passing through the kitchen, General Okikiolakan Obasanjo caught sight of Rasaki, the cook, scratching his nyash (buttocks), and this made OBJ feel even worse. By then, he was desperately ill with violent cramps, and was so disorientated that he could not remember which door led to his personal imperial toilet.

He was on the verge of passing out from the excruciating pain when he finally found a door that opened, and as he undid his trousers, and ran in, he realised to his utter horror that he had stumbled into Ms. Mojisola Gbenga-Obasanjo�s bedroom, with his trousers around his knees.

As Baba Gbenga was just about to pass out, Moji bent over him and heard her former president whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook".

And that is how the whole misunderstanding with Dr. Gbenga Obasanjo began.



Note very well: General Olusegun Igbochukwu Aremu Okikiolakan Sikiru Matthew Obasanjo never said to Moji, with his pant down: "Suck my cock"!


That is the end of my second and final story for today.



Happy Easter, ojare!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[monakjohn]

Hi, Luchi!


I have just reviewed your Visa Interview file. You have done well!

Welcome to the concluding aspect of the Visa process.

Here is a list of items (partykolas) that must be presented before the elders will pray for you and the Welcomer-In-Chief stamps your passport.

Here is the list:


(1) One basket of GENUINE Igboid kola nuts (oji Igbo)

(2) One basket of Arewaesque kola nuts (goro/gworo).

(3) One tiny teaspoon (5ml. max) of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu (without this, you file remains open)

(4) 10 x 50 litres jerry-cans of palmie (pasteurized palm wine powerless).

(5) Isi ewu (with 2 eyes, 1 tongue, and 2 ears per goat head)

(6) Unlimited suyarized and tenderized beef and pork barbeque (for all Villagers and JJCs).

(7) Roasted cocoyam to serve 50 seasoned elders (maximum).

(8) Nigerian omelet (for 50 seasoned elders only.)

(9) 2 crates of Hennessey XO champagne brandy, for His Excellency, Oga Big-K.

(10) 13 crates of Dom Perignon (for 13 very seasoned, kunu-allergic elders).

(11) 100 strings of Jigida beads for the women

(12) 50 tins of Saturday Night powder

(13) 20 wraps of eko (for the toothless elders)

(14) Spicy goatmeat peppersoup

(15) 30 crates of Crush & Mirinda Orange

(16) 50 cartons of Guiness Odeku

(17) 30 cartons of Malta Guiness

(18) 15 bowls of freshly ground Lahli (African tatoo)---reserved for Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB)

(19) 150 miniature jars of Tiro (African eyeliner)---reserved for the Chairperson, Board of Trustees(JJCAMB)

(20) 2 drums x 250 litres of high octane triple-distilled GENUINE 100 degrees proof ogogoro.

(21) Highly pepperized fresh fish pepper soup to serve all Villagers, JJCs, and their guests, including gatecrashers present.

(22) 50 plates of Salade Du Nigeriana (i.e. Ugba + okporoko, garnished with uziza/uda puree) for placating the hard-liners and hawks of the Elders' Forum.

(23) Unlimited supply of bitter kola, alligator pepper, and garden egg.

(24) 50 Coolers of Steaming hot Ajinomotoless jollof rice.

(25) 10 x 100 litres jerry-cans of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu.

(26) 12 coolers of plantain pottage

(27) 25 foil pans of pepperized snail (exclusively reserved for the women)


Simply make sure the above list is includedin ypur next post and your Visa will be approved.

See you at your Welcome party.


Dimaanu
AG

Hi Dammanu,

Hmmmmmmm, , all these for visa application?

Habba, this too much na, when I read am, my belly turn to water immediately.

This gives me the impression that na only food we sabi chop for we villa ohh

I think say una go ask for IV, make somebody submit at least 250 words essay on any topical issue in Nigeria and they are a lot of them at the moment to talk about or even to talk about the challenges an applicant is facing in his chosen carrier and how such can be tackled. I think more intellectually based visa requirements et al.

We no bi say I no like food too, I like choppise, u know.

Omo girl, na ya pix be dat, u fine oh.

Well i no say this go cause serious ripple for Village square today and they fit send me go exile sef, but make una no vex with me ooohhh

[elgaxton]

Hi John,

wetin mega for ya side? If u want plenty essay/grammar make u go

Main square.

Elder sey dem want particulars u come dey begin wan customise am for dem na wah for you o.

where ur own thread dey sef?

I go hand-cuff u if u misyan again o

[monakjohn]

Omo na wa for you, which one be ya own sef, U wan Handcuff moi? You remind me of Military era, abi u me Milit(ia)ary man????, anywayz have mercy oga sir.

Thanks anywayz.

[Djister]

Welcome From the Office of the Welcomer-In-Chief, Adviser-General and other eminent NVS Elders, Executives and Residents.

In order to appraise you with the Nature, Nurture, culture of the NVS we are diligently putting together a brief guide on all sorts of matters and questions you might have.

GO HERE

Please pay due attention and leave your comments and especially your thanks, to me personally, for all the work we are putting into this.

My Oga shall do his rounds and cross paths with you sometime during your initial wandering around.

Welcome & Please don't let us start on a wrong footing.

Thank You.

Djister I