Why ‘Ugly’ People Marry Angels, While ‘Good Looking’ Ones Stay Single

[Vade Mecum]

Why ‘Ugly’ People Marry Angels, While ‘Good Looking’ Ones Stay Single

http://www.vanguardngr.com/content/view/24498/121/

Friday, 19 December 2008: Written by Chioma Gabriel

Kenneth is charming and good looking and many ladies desired to marry him. One of his attributes is his ability to make people feel at ease when they are around him. He is jovial and easy to relate with and this made him popular in his neighbourhood.

His friends and relations waited with curiosity for him to choose a wife. He had been seen with all manner of women some of whom were considered wife materials but he did not marry any of them. When he eventually decided to settle down, Kenneth pulled a surprise on the people by showing up with a lady that no one knew. He met her during their service year in the state they were both posted to serve. She was not the kind of lady that people had expected him to be involved with. She was neither tall nor good looking and she had tribal marks!

What surprised people most was the way Kenneth always beamed around her. It was evident that he had found love and not long afterwards, they got married.
Till date, he still treats her like a princess and they now have a beautiful daughter. Theirs was like the story of the beauty and the beast. Many who knew Kenneth wondered why a good looking man like him could get married to such a lady.
Stories like this are common.

The words beauty and ugly have advantages and disadvantages. A beautiful lady is advantaged in the area of looks but there are areas of disadvantages in her life that can destroy the advantages. Ugliness is also a disadvantage in the area of looks but there are advantages that the ugly may possess that can cover up for the disadvantages in her looks. But one should not celebrate others and look down on oneself. We celebrate strength, not weakness.

We all carry an aura around us which can have a fragrant/pungent effect on people. If things go wrong with the state of a single’s mind, it gives the person a pungent aura and that can drive away prospective suitors. The state of your heart is superior to the advantages you may have over others. Show me a lady with a good heart; I will show you a person who will have suitors fight to win her heart and hand in marriage.

I have observed the following states of mind that can make people unattractive…
*Heart filled with anger: Whenever I counsel singles that have challenges keeping a partner, I always look out for anger and most of the time, I find it there. When a heart is filled with anger, that person will not be able to attract/keep a partner. Anger is a subtle destroyer: Meet a single who can’t keep a partner; you’ll likely find a person who is angry with his/her parent(s).

*Heart filled with pride: The English adage that says, ‘Pride comes before a fall. Is a reality .’People who are proud of their good looks tend to be choosy and insolent. Proud people have tendency to make mistakes in relationships. A friend once told me that some ladies who are ripe for marriage don’t get married because of pride. He told a story of how he was in love with a lady many years ago and would have loved to get married to her. The lady, according to him, was beautiful and intelligent (a medical student) but what pissed him off was the way the lady treated him when he approached her. He said the lady practically ignored him and treated him with disdain and when he couldn’t take it any more, he moved on. Today, he’s married to a lady who doesn’t have the looks and the brain of the lady but he is happy because his wife has really been a pillar of strength in the business he’s into. Sadly, the lady he wanted initially is over 30 years and still single.

*Heart filled with unforgiveness: My advice to singles is to always forgive and let go of the man/woman that may have broken their hearts in the past. The person has only given them the opportunity to find someone better. However, unforgiveness will not let the single be attractive to the better person.

*An unwise heart: Meet an unwise lady and you have met one who will not be able to keep whatever she has. If you meet a good looking single, watch out for a wise heart. It is likely to be missing. Lack of wisdom reveals itself in unguarded speech. Observe a lady who can say whatever is on her mind the way it is and you have met a fool going. I heard a lady say that when she is angry, she can say anything (i.e. pour out her heart the way she feels) to anyone. I concluded that was one of the reasons she isn’t married. Who will want to get married to a lady who has no moral restraint when expressing herself.
It also reveals itself in the single not improving on herself. I feel that every single should strive for self improvement especially in the area of academics. A beautiful face with a dull brain is valued little.

Femi, singlesaffair@yahoo.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , 08037257479, 08083906405.


Please let us respond with a responsible, respectful and respectable tone in our respective posts

Please endeavour to desist from using provocative, abusive and or quarrelsome language

Please let us apply maturity and polish, as we exchange ideas and opinions with love, joy, peace, friendliness and a happy disposition

[Dewdrops]

Simple......not so good-looking people are more humble and conscious of their looks.

They are more accommodating than the pretty ones.

[Showcase]

Originally Posted by Vade Mecum

She was neither tall nor good looking and she had tribal marks!

To a lot of people, tribal marks don't make you ugly. You could be without tribal marks and still not be good looking/attractive.

Originally Posted by Vade Mecum

The words beauty and ugly have advantages and disadvantages. A beautiful lady is advantaged in the area of looks but there are areas of disadvantages in her life that can destroy the advantages. Ugliness is also a disadvantage in the area of looks but there are advantages that the ugly may possess that can cover up for the disadvantages in her looks. But one should not celebrate others and look down on oneself. We celebrate strength, not weakness.

Whatever happened to the time tested saying, "All in the eyes of the beholder, beauty is"? Our definition of beauty certainly varies.

Originally Posted by Vade Mecum

I have observed the following states of mind that can make people unattractive…
*Heart filled with anger

*Heart filled with pride

*Heart filled with unforgiveness

*An unwise heart

Nice observations. I can't fault them. A lot of attractive ladies get carried away by it to the point of being snobbish to potential friends and suitors. Much later, they realize this error and try to make up for it, but it is usually when the men don't gravitate to them anymore.

Anger is a terrible thing and a relationship killer. You can write a book on the effect of anger in relationships. It is a turn off for most people. No one wants to spend the rest of their lifetime with an angry person. We all get angry as the case demands but anyone who cannot contain their anger is a danger to everyone else, especially their SOs.

Originally Posted by Vade Mecum

A beautiful face with a dull brain is valued little.

I won't contest that either. But by far, I think the most important asset a person can have is pleasant personality built on love for God.

[charles4u]

Simple...the Ugly ones are mostly rich and most females go for money, while the fine boys still dey form fine boy.

[Idahota]

There is no such thing as ugly people in these days of cosmetics surgery.

Moreover beauty they say is in the eyes of the beholder. So what one person sees as ugly in someone might be beautiful in the eyes of another

[Nwanyi Oma]

'monkey no fine but im mama like am.....

[charles4u]

Originally Posted by Idahota

There is no such thing as ugly people in these days of cosmetics surgery.

Moreover beauty they say is in the eyes of the beholder. So what one person sees as ugly in someone might be beautiful in the eyes of another

Taaaaa make u no twist talks ajre, you no what we talking about. Some ugly and some handsome comfirm no doubt.

So make u talk the koko, females go for the ugly ones 4 money...cus if dem no get money ... 98% of girls go pick cute guys b4 going to the ugly ones and maybe the cute ones don finish for ground

[Idahota]

Originally Posted by charles4u

Taaaaa make u no twist talks ajre, you no what we talking about. Some ugly and some handsome comfirm no doubt.

So make u talk the koko, females go for the ugly ones 4 money...cus if dem no get money ... 98% of girls go pick cute guys b4 going to the ugly ones and maybe the cute ones don finish for ground

charles4u for real I maintain that there are no ugly people anymore. In my view, some people might just look a little bit uncared for. But this is something that some loving nuturing and other great qualities can remedy.

As for your assertion that women would go for ugly men with money, maybe some materialistic women. But reasonable women would never go with an "ugly" man for money and the same way they won't go for a handsome man for his looks. There is more you want in a relationship than money and looks.

Have you heard of the novel "the beautiful ones are not yet born?
When I read that novel years ago, I kind of agree with the title then. But now I am modifying it to read the "beautiful ones have and are still being born". You can hardly see an ugly baby these days for one. If you don't have ugly kids , how can you have ugly adults .

[charles4u]

Originally Posted by Idahota

charles4u for real I maintain that there are no ugly people anymore. In my view, some people might just look a little bit uncared for. But this is something that some loving nuturing and other great qualities can remedy.

As for your assertion that women would go for ugly men with money, maybe some materialistic women. But reasonable women would never go with an "ugly" man for money and the same way they won't go for a handsome man for his looks. There is more you want in a relationship than money and looks.

Have you heard of the novel "the beautiful ones are not yet born?
When I read that novel years ago, I kind of agree with the title then. But now I am modifying it to read the "beautiful ones have and are still being born". You can hardly see an ugly baby these days for one. If you don't have ugly kids , how can you have ugly adults .

Romantica...I get you o jare but I must say females admires looks and would prefare a good looking male before considering the ugly one. I understand what you are trying to say but lets just break it down and see it from self attraction which happens all around us. Its beauty now....we cant escape it

what will you choose in...THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY...Maybe I dont know much but ladies easily develop feelings with a cute handsome guy than one ugly guy with no money.

[peterosa]

The inward beauty that the urgly ones posses that can not be found in the beautifull ones because of their pride of being beautifull is what drives the good looking men to the urgly girls.