Just Becos - Cases of Man's inhumanity to man

[emj]

National Committee for UN Women - Canada

February 18, 2012

MEDIA ALERT: Muttahida Quami Movement (MQM) and Canadian National Committee for UN Women, President to Celebrate Pakistan Women's Public Meeting

KARACHI, PAKISTAN--(Marketwire - Feb. 18, 2012) - Ms. Almas Jiwani, President of the National Committee for UN Women - Canada and Dr. Farooq Sattar, Minister of Overseas Pakistanis and Deputy Convener of MQM are pleased to announce that preparations for the Women's Public Meeting are in full force. Ms. Alice Shackelford, UN Women Pakistan Country Director is also an invited dignitary to the conference. The Women's Meeting is one of the largest women's assemblies in the history of Pakistan that will be organized in Karachi, Pakistan to discuss the topics of gender equality and empowerment of women for a strong Pakistan on February 19^th 2012.
Many thousands of women and girls are expected to show up to this event to acquire inspiration, support and empowerment for a better future.

Where: Bagh-e-Jinnah, adjacent to the Mausoleum of Founder of Pakistan, Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah.

Date: Sunday, February 19^th 2012
Time: 3:00pm- 8:30 p.m.

Focus: Pakistan Women' Public Meeting is one of the largest gathering of women to date.
This meeting signals a new era for gender equality, and provides the commitment by MQM and other Pakistani civil society allies to accelerate progress on gender rights and the women's rights and empowerment.
The convention will provide a powerful voice for Pakistani women's issues and will allow all Pakistani women to spearhead a more coordinated and effective response to gender inequalities around the country. The conference aims to bring women belonging to all faiths and nationalities on 19^th February 2012 and demonstrate that they are firmly united for equality in all facets of life.

Speakers: Mr. Altaf Hussain, Founder and Leader of MQM, Dr. Farooq Sattar, Minister of Overseas Pakistanis and Deputy Convener of MQM, Ms. Almas Jiwani, President, National Committee for UN Women Canada, Ms. Nadia Gabol, Minister for Human Rights, Government of Sindh and Ms. Nasreen Jalil, Former Senator and Deputy Mayor of Karachi, Ms. Khushbakht Shujaat, Member of National Assembly of Pakistan, Ms. Kishwar Zehra, In-Charge, Women's Division of MQM and Member of National Assembly of Pakistan and Ms. Naila Lateef, Joint In-Charge of MQM Women's Division.

[emj]

Another Just becos

SATURDAY, 25 FEBRUARY 2012 Houston's Dirtiest Secret

The young girl has spent the large part of the night running. Her feet ache, her body feels like a thousand pins have been punched into it. To breathe, is painful. To stop, though, is suicide. She has run miles, crossing the border between El-Paso and Houston, hoping to run back home. She wants to go back to the comfort and safety that life offered her, that her life promised her- she wants to run back to the arms she unwittingly left, when the lure of an older boyfriend seemed much more adventurous than being a nerd at school.


Her reality is shockingly Houston's Dirtiest Secret.


Human Trafficking is still a thriving phenomenon because of these "clients" who keep the practice going because of their "needs". Coupled with the proclivity for the hedonistic ideology is the astounding degree of ignorance that blinds most of society, leading them to believe that girls "want" to be a part of a brothel, and are "voluntarily" a part of brothels. The United Nations estimates that 700,000 to 4 million women and children are trafficked around the world for purposes of forced prostitution, labour and other forms of exploitation every year. Trafficking is estimated to be a $7 billion dollar annual business.


One would think that such a crime as Human Trafficking would hardly transpire within the United States, which, it is believed, thrives under the aegis of a well-crafted human rights scheme. But prepare to be shocked. As fingers point aplenty in the direction of South East Asia, Africa and some parts of the Middle East, there isn't anything different in the United States. Houston, it seems, is well known as a set up for 'training brothels'. The US Department of Health and Human Services notes that 25% of all the Human Trafficking victims are in Texas, while the Polaris Project explains that 30% of all human trafficking tips to the National Rescue Hotline came from Texas.

Some prescience did indeed go into the nomenclature- The Wild-Wild West.


Unfortunately, it happens to be far too wild for any sane person's liking.


Why is Texas, particularly Houston, so vulnerable to trafficking? More importantly, why is this dirty secret allowed to remain- an open secret, a fact that everyone knows, an issue that thrives and transpires right under everyone's nose, without anyone taking any action?
The answer is simple. It is believed that Texas and the Southwest Border continue to serve as the biggest point of illegal entry into the United States, largely because trafficker are easily able to get aliens across, without any documents in tow. Owing to the lack of any hardliner checking authorities to impose penalties for paperless travel and to keep in check quick illegal border crossing, there is an ease of movement. People are the easiest resources to put a price on, and a far easier resource to traffic about. So long as flesh trade and unabashed illegal sex trade is coveted, people are necessary resources- the necessary "raw-material" for the "flourishing" of such "trades". What better an opportunity than a stretch of unmanned, unguarded land, that comfortably offer anyone a chance to send things across a border?


Human trafficking is by all means, a global problem. Global responses, however, are not enough- one needs to think globally, but act locally. President Obama observed in 2011 noting that "no country can claim immunity from the scourge of human rights abuses, or from the responsibility to confront them." Strangely, though, there seems precious little being done about the impunity that is prevalent in all rampancy closer home. That Houston has a dirty secret maybe an inconvenient truth. That Houston has piles of dirt under its carpet maybe difficult to admit. But, the convenience in the reluctance to admit that trafficking is a response to market demands, poor labor and immigration legislation, absence of penalties for abusers, economic and development disparities, gender and ethnic inequities and a lackadaisical approach towards administrative responsibilities, is the most alarming trend.


Until that is remedied, Houston's skeletons will sit chattering in the closet. And until that is remedied, Houston's dirt will pile under its carpet.


>

>By Kirthi Gita Jayakumar

http://deltawomen.blogspot.com/2012/....html?spref=tw

[emj]

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/02/29/...-is-it-enough/

Stella Damasus: When Is It Enough?


Published on February 29, 2012 by pmnews ·

Stella Damasus

It was 8 o'clock that morning and I was already dressed in my black dress, black shoes and no make-up, with my brushed hair in a pony tail. I was heading to Yaba for a friend's funeral.
She was 35 and beautiful, a mother of two beautiful children. I really did not want to go because I was not sure of how I was going to react. I was not sure if I could pull myself together.
Anyway, I got to the church and it was filled with people who knew her and who had heard of her. As I approached the church, I was already battling with the huge lump in my throat, making sure that I could at least sit through the service. I managed to get inside, and then the ushers took me up-front to sit with the family.
I saw her mother and siblings who were weeping uncontrollably, so I tried to console them while battling with that same lump in my throat. I did all I could until the kids walked into the church with the nanny. Oh my goodness, now that lump has melted into liquid, the flood gates were flung open and the tears started gushing out. It was not a very pleasant sight as the choir leader could not continue the song.
This is to give you an insight into the kind of person my friend was and the life she lived.
She was extremely intelligent, kind, simple and most of all was in love with God and His word.
Well, as I tried to calm down, he walked in —THE HUSBAND.
I am sure by now you are thinking I would run to console him since I was very close to her and he knew me. Instead, I stood up and walked to the other side of the church and sat down. That was when I knew how much respect I had for the church and the dead.
If I could, I would have locked him up in the coffin so he could go with her; after all, he put her there in the first place.
We had all begged, prayed, complained, reported, and fought, just to get him to stop beating her. I was tired of seeing the black eye, the swollen face, the bruised arms and the constant headaches. It was so bad that I had to tell him that one day he would do something really bad to his wife and end up behind bars. Little did I know that the day in question was fast approaching.
He had beaten her so much for sending her own money to her mother without telling him, and when she tried to protect herself by pushing him off her, he got infuriated and hit her head on the wall.
This time no black eye, no bruise to worry about, she just did not wake up.
When her sister called me in the middle of the night, I was not sure whether to cry or get angry or scream. My whole body was shaking and all I could say was "no... no... no... please God, no, no, no... please".
I started to feel guilty, "maybe I should have moved her out of there" but then again who am I to move her out of her husband's house when she herself refused to move. It really hurt, so much that even as I am writing this I am still crying.
The case was taken to court and was dismissed, because according to the courts the evidence was not enough, and so he was discharged and acquitted.
In a country where an accurate autopsy cannot be carried out, let alone thoroughly investigate a crime, what do you expect?
She is dead and gone but the killer is walking free, and as usual, he has custody of the children whom he has passed on to his new wife.
My heart has been bleeding ever since because I know that this is happening to so many women. Some are still alive today to tell their stories, some are afraid to cry out for help; some cover up when they are asked questions about their black eye; some believe that there is no justice for the abused woman because other cases they have heard of, have always favoured the man, and lastly, some are no longer alive to speak up.
As sad as this is, it is still happening even as I write.
Now it has progressed to acid baths, body mutilation, and other unthinkable things.
In anger, I stormed to the church we all attended and demanded to see the head pastor. When he came out, I screamed and yelled and people came into the church to hold me down. Please, do not think I disrespect men of God. Oh, far from it, in fact I respect them so much because without some of them who have mentored me, I would not be the person I am today.
Truth of the matter is, my late friend's sister told me that a few days before she died, she had gone to meet the pastor in fear because she had another fight with her husband who told her that he was ready to kill her and nothing would happen to him. He kept saying in pidgin English: "na naija we dey o and when you die your dead body no go come prove to the court say na me kill you".
My late friend then called her sister to tell her what had happened and that she was going to see the pastor.
I asked her sister: "Why pastor? Why not police?"
The sister laughed and said: "Do you know how many times she tried that? The policeman she met on duty laughed and said, 'madam na domestic matter be dis abeg, husband and wife must fight, go beg your husband' ".
When her husband found out, he laughed and asked if she thought she was in America, then he beat her some more for even attempting.
So, she went to the pastor and told him everything again because that was not the first time she went to him to complain and ask for help.
As usual the pastor said: "My daughter, there is nothing God cannot do. Please, prayer is what you need.
Keep praying to God to touch his heart, he will not kill you and he will not harm you.
Go back home and maintain peace, please; remember that God hates divorce so you cannot leave your home and children". She left
there feeling so dejected and scared, and so she called her sister and told her what the pastor had said.
I tried to think about what could have been going on in her head everyday of her life, thinking that there is no SAFE HAVEN.
The man who swore to love and protect you is the one who is killing you; the parents who gave you to him in marriage will tell you not to leave your home because it is not a family trait and it will bring shame upon the family. You are too ashamed to even let people know you are going through domestic violence for fear of being stigmatized; you are not protected by law enforcement agents nor the law because some of them do the same thing to their wives; then the only place which is the house of God also tells you to go back to the place where you are being destroyed.
My heart broke and that was when I wept the most, because no one knows what she could have gone through alone.
So, I looked at this pastor and said 'I hope you are happy now, I hope you are satisfied that she listened to you and got killed in the process'.
I am not saying I support separation or women running out of their homes, but I insist that there must be temporary measures to take the woman to a safe place until things can be resolved. She has to, at least, be alive first before any reconciliation or anything can even take place.

My question today is: what does the church do in cases like this?
Is it saying that because of doctrines women should remain there and die?
Is it saying that apart from prayer there is no other way to help?
I poured out my heart to the pastor and asked him a question directly without any apologies, "If your daughter came to you, bruised everyday, threatened and battered, would you tell her to go back there and pray?
What if she does and gets killed? What would your reaction be? Will you be able to live with yourself?"
Then I calmed down and said God bless you pastor and thank you, I hope this means she will go to heaven.
He could not utter a word, so I walked out.

Call this ranting, lamenting, disrespectful, but one thing is for sure. We need answers, we need to shout it out loud, we need to educate women and let them know they can cry out for help.

I can't stress this enough, if you are going through any form of violence, especially domestic violence, you can get help. Please don't die for nothing.
Make that call to Project Alert now 01-4737270, 08052004698 or send an email to projectalert@projectalertnig.org, log on to their website www.projectalertnig.org.

Enough is enough; the time to act is now. Say No To Domestic Violence.
This piece is dedicated to all the women who have lost their lives through domestic violence.

May their souls rest in peace.

[emj]

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/03/05/...-private-part/

Wicked Father: Pours Hot Water On Daughter
Published on March 5, 2012 by pmnews

A 33-year old man has poured hot water on her daughter's private part, damaging part of her vagina, for licking soup in the pot. The incident happened in Ikorodu area of Lagos State, Southwest Nigeria.

-The badly scalded buttocks of the victim

The girl, a 14-year old Junior Secondary School II student (name withheld) is currently undergoing treatment at a government hospital while the father, Mr. Solarin Muyiwa has been arrested by the Social Welfare Department of the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, WAPA, and will be arraigned in court soon.

The incident, which took place at 3, Adeyiga Street, Ikorodu attracted lots of unsavoury comments about the father, a Laboratory Assistant at Spintex Mill.
Muyiwa created a stir when he was brought to the WAPA Ministry after his arrest.
Staff of the ministry, mostly women, described him as a wicked man to have inflicted such punishment on his daughter.
"The incidence took place two Fridays ago, but a concerned neighbour who saw the state of the young girl, put across a distress call to the ministry. We responded immediately and rescued the girl and she is presently being treated in the hospital," said Mrs. Alaba Fadairo, Director, Child Development, WAPA.

"We were surprised when we saw the girl. There were deep wounds on her body. Her father poured hot water on her private part. He said she licked soup from the pot. The girl said she was given N50 for the day and that she wanted to test if the soup was hot or not.

"The father first beat her with a wooden stick and told her stepmother to heat some water when the wife reported to him that he caught the girl stealing from the soup pot. It was that hot water he poured into a plastic and ordered her to put her hands inside.
"His wife also confirmed that he asked her to boil the water and after that, he asked the girl to put her hands inside the water, but she said at that juncture, her baby was crying and she had to go and nurse her baby and she didn't know what transpired. This incident happened on Saturday, February 25, and we got to know about it last Thursday and went to save the girl," she stated.

-Solarin Muyiwa

Fadairo said the government would prosecute the father over the incident as it violates the girl's right under the Child Right's law.
"We are at the stage of prosecution. We have passed the stage of prevention; this is the stage of prosecution," she said.
When asked, the father of the girl, Muyiwa confessed that he poured water on his daughter's private part, saying his intention was not to harm his daughter he had during his secondary school days.
"I just want to apologise about it. I did it in annoyance. I regret what I did and I just want to apologise. She has been stealing, but I did not mean to pour hot water on her, I just wanted to scare her with the water so that she will know the difference between good and bad. I did not know it would result in this. I am very sorry.
"I took her to Jobi Hospital after the incident. I never knew it will get so bad like that," he stated.
Narrating how he got a baby while in secondary school, he said his relationship led to pregnancy, saying that the last time he saw the mother of his daughter was in 2005 and now he does not know her whereabouts.
—Kazeem Ugbodaga

[emj]

Another.......yes u got it....Just Becos

http://thetimesofnigeria.com/TON/Article.aspx?id=3599

Witchcraft: Nigerian Born British MP Speaks Against Branding Of Children

Mon Mar, 05 2012

Mr Chuka Umunna, Nigerian born Member of the British Parliament on Monday kicked against the branding of children as witches in the UK, describing it as an ``awful act punishable under the law.'' Umunna represents Streatham, one of the three constituencies representing Brixton, an area with one of the largest African Diaspora populations in the UK. He is also the only black member of the Shadow Cabinet and is the most senior elected UK politician of African origin. Umunna made the remarks in reaction to recent reports which he said was happening in small number of cases under the radar in this country.'' There can be no excuse whatsoever for treating children in this way; branding them as witches or as possessed by evil spirits. If you carry out these awful acts, the strong arm of the law will be brought to bear on you,'' Umunna said. He explained further that such cases highlight the vital responsibility of the black communities towards the protection of children within the ethnic communities. Umunna noted that investigations revealed that children branded as witches or accused of being possessed by evil spirits, face worstabuses and neglect including torture and death. He disclosed that the House of Commons in collaboration with a UK-based a non governmental organisation, Africans Unite against Child Abuse (AFRUCA) would be holding a summit on the subject. He said: we will do everything in our power to work to prevent the tragic loss of life and maltreatment of young people of African origin.'' Also, Ms Debbie Ariyo, Executive Director of AFRUCA who called for the criminalisation of branding children as witches, saying the act infringes on the rights of children. The branding of children as witches leads to other forms of abuses including serious physical abuse and torture, even sexual abuse and definitely child neglect. There is nowhere in UK law where the link between witchcraft branding and emotional abuse is explicitly made, despite the level of harm and devastation that can occur,'' she said. Ariyo who described this as an ``anomaly'' called for urgent revisit of the law in order to safeguard vulnerable children from becoming victims.

[emj]

« The Symphony of TED: John Boswell wraps up TED2012 |
Main | Choose your own TEDTalk: Sebastian Wernicke at TED2012 »

02 March 2012......Unlock the intelligence, passion, greatness of girls: Leymah Gbowee at TED2012



Photo: James Duncan Davidson

Leymah Gbowee is a 2011 Nobel Peace Prize laureate.

Today, she speaks around the world, and people ask about her drive, challenges, moments, and regrets.
In 1998 she was a single mother of 4. Three months after her fourth child's birth, she went to do work as a research assistant in a small village in northern Liberia. She got lodging with a single mother who was the laughingstock of the village. The mother was told by the village, "You and your daughter will die poor." The mother asked Leymah, "Take my daughter with you." Leymah said no, for she too was "dirt poor, no money, living with my parents."
Two months later, she went to live with a village chief in another village. In the village there was a little girl who walked around dirty; when Leymah asked her name, the villagers told her, her name is "Pig." Her mother had died in childbirth, the father unknown. Leymah thought she should take the girl with her, but, "Dirt poor, no money, living with my parents."
Two months later, both villages fell into a war. To today, she has no idea what happened to either of those girls.
In 2004, working on women's rights, she was asked to take a 9-year-old, who had been raped every day by paternal grandfather for months. And she did. Every day the child lay beside her, saying, "I wish to be well, I wish to go to school."
In 2010 a 19-year-old gave testimony to the government. She had wanted to go to school, she got an athletic scholarship, she went. The first day, the director of sports asks her to come out of class. Every day she had to have sex with him as favor for getting into school.
Gbowee turns to the present: People around the world have made commitments to young people. To prevent them from experiencing want and fear. These are "great works by great people, aimed at getting young people where we want them to be." And Gbowee believes they have failed. "In Liberia, teen pregnancy affects 3 out of 10 girls. Girls as young as 12 are prostituted for less than a dollar a night."
"Where is the hope?"
Several years ago, she decided that there needed to be a way to bridge the gap between generations. She created the Young Girls Transformative Project. "All we did was create the space. When you create commitment, you unlock, intelligence, passion, commitment, focus, great leaders." And many of those women are taking bold steps to advocate for the rights of other young women. One, who had dropped out of school, and gave her extra money to young women to go to school said, "My wish is to be educated. If I can't be educated, if I see my sisters going, my wish is fulfilled."
Six years ago, there was a woman, a single mother whose son wished for a piece of doner, who had wished for herself to be educated. She had failed to protect two girls. She failed, she failed, she failed. She got angry.
She faced down a brutal dictator and won. Got educated and other things happened. "And not only did the wish of a piece of doner come true, the wish of peace came true."
That woman was Leymah Gbowee.
"I don't have much to ask of you. Girls in this country have wishes for a better life. A girl in the Bronx, a girl in downdown LA, a girl in Textas, a girl in New Jersey. Will you journey with me to help that girl?... All they need us to do is create that space to unlock that intelligence, unlock that passion, unlock the greatness within them. Let's journey together."
Read more about Gbowee's work:
Women Peace and Security Network: WIPSEN - Africa
West Africa Network for Peacbuilding / Women in Peacebuilding

http://blog.ted.com/2012/03/02/leyma...ee-at-ted2012/

[M. Akosa]

A very nice thread you have going here !
Quite insightful and very educative.

The only thing is that the title "Just Becos" you have makes the issues look less serious and casual for any one who hasn't bothered to open this thread and take their time to read what you are doing here.

Thank you EMJ and well Done !

[emj]

A very nice thread you have going here !
Quite insightful and very educative.

The only thing is that the title "Just Becos" you have makes the issues look less serious and casual for any one who hasn't bothered to open this thread and take their time to read what you are doing here.

Thank you EMJ and well Done !

Thanks for the feedback M Akosa........i hope to change the header to a more befitting one soonest...

[NoLongThing]

Thanks for the feedback M Akosa........i hope to change the header to a more befitting one soonest...

No, no, no - EMJ, I guess you have made up your mind but in my opinion (not as a mulatto this time o), I think the title of the thread is pretty much succinct for the varying stories you have brought up.

[emj]

http://womenoutlook.com/the-man-who-...s-wife-ablaze/

Naomi Chidiebere 24, was the happiest woman in the world when she married Dick Chidiebere, 34, at the Jehovah's Witness church at Ijegun in November 2011.Sadly, Naomi who was the envy of the

single

ladies at the wedding is lying in the morgue because her husband allegedly set her ablaze following a quarrel.The incident happened on February 10, 2012 at the couple's four bedroom residence in Ijegun barely three months after the couple exchanged their wedding vows.

The full story is in the above link...

[emj]

Just a reminder....

"A Woman at a nightclub on Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her at a Bus stand! Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes along with traces of rohypnol in her blood. ... Rohypnol, date rape drug is an essentially a small sterilization pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. All they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Rohypnol, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying hi...m months later. The Drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - they are PERMANENT. Any female that takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE.

The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university.
It's that easy, and Rohypnol is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it.

Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls. Girls, be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended. (added - Buy your own drinks, ensure bottles or cans received are unopened or sealed; don't even taste someone else's drink) There has already been a report in Nigeria of girls drinks been Spiked by Rohypnol.

[emj]

M

Moulkheir Mint Yarba returned from a day of tending her master's goats out on the Sahara Desert to find something unimaginable: Her baby girl, barely old enough to crawl, had been left outdoors to die.

The usually stoic mother — whose jet-black eyes and cardboard hands carry decades of sadness — wept when she saw herchild's lifeless face, eyes open and covered in ants, resting in the orange sands of the Mauritanian desert. The master who raped Moulkheir to produce the child wanted to punish his slave. He told her she would work faster without the child on her back.
Trying to pull herself together, Moulkheir asked if she could take a break to give her daughter a proper burial. Her master's reply: Get back to work.
"Her soul is a dog's soul," she recalls him saying.
Later that day, at the cemetery, "We dug a shallow grave and buried her in her clothes, without washing her or giving her burial rites."
"I only had my tears to console me," she would later tell anti-slavery activists, according to a written testimony. "I cried a lot for my daughter and for the situation I was in. Instead of understanding, they ordered me to shut up. Otherwise, they would make things worse for me — so bad that I wouldn't be able to endure it."
Moulkheir told her story to CNN in December, when a reporter and videographer visited Mauritania — a vast, bone-dry nation on the western fringe of the Sahara — to document slavery in the place where the practice is arguably more common, more readily accepted and more intractable than anywhere else on Earth.

Pls read the full story here......
http://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2...html?hpt=wo_c1

[duniyasaihakuri]

just becos... we would rather say she asked for it or what was she wearing, why did she go back, he disciplining her, it is our tradition, spare the rod, she provoked him, it is the will of God, he is an elder, she is lying, she slept with other men, ''Big deal.You filthy whore. What am I supposed to do?''

Just becos...we do not want to admit that there are sadist, rapists, pedophiles, abusers, defilers, sociopaths among us.

[emj]

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/chil...B8PC8.facebook


Child Abuse and Neglect

RECOGNIZING AND PREVENTING CHILD ABUSE



Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible sign, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse or child neglect, also leave deep, long lasting scars.
Some signs of child abuse are subtler than others. However, bylearning common types of abuse and what you can do, you can make a huge difference in a child's life. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal from their abuse and not perpetuate the cycle.
Learn the signs and symptoms of child abuse and help break the cycle, find out where to get help for the children and their caregivers.

Understanding child abuse and neglect[/h][h=3]Child Abuse Hotlines:

• To get help or report abuse in the US or Canada, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at
• 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).
• In the UK, call 0800 1111 (NSPCC Childline).
• Australia: 1800 688 009 (Child Abuse Prevention Service).
• New Zealand: 0800-543-754 (Kidsline).
• Or visit ChiWorld.org for a list of other international child helplines.

Child abuse is more than bruises or broken bones. While physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves, not all child abuse is as obvious. Ignoring children's needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid are also child abuse. Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm.

Myths and facts about child abuse and neglect
MYTH #1: It's only abuse if it's violent.
Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging, and since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene.

MYTH #2: Only bad people abuse their children.
Fact: While it's easy to say that only "bad people" abuse their children, it's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don't know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem.

MYTH #3: Child abuse doesn't happen in "good" families.
Fact: Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.

MYTH #4: Most child abusers are strangers.
Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family.

MYTH #5: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.
Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.

[emj]

Good delivery of the message.....VWD....

[cowbell]

After reading all these descipcable acts of barbarism, one song in particular comes to mind:


How come, how long,It's not right! It's so wrong! do we let it just go on?
She tried to give a cry for help, she even blamed things on herself, but no one came to her aid!

My good people, we must really fight this evil of abuse.
All my dear sisters, better run for dear life than be carried home in a coffin.Screw societal norms! Anybody who looks down on you because you are divorced can eat sh*t for all you care. Afterall, you're alive! That's all that matters.
Those who claim to stay for the sake of the kids, the man will kill you eventually and the kids will lose you forever!
Stop listening to those yeye Pastors and Counsellors. They too are guilty of the same atrocities you are complaining to them about. That's why all they can tell you to do is "pray."
NEVER TOLERATE ABUSE, WHETHER PHYSICAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL.

[emj]

After reading all these descipcable acts of barbarism, one song in particular comes to mind:


How come, how long,It's not right! It's so wrong! do we let it just go on?
She tried to give a cry for help, she even blamed things on herself, but no one came to her aid!

My good people, we must really fight this evil of abuse.
All my dear sisters, better run for dear life than be carried home in a coffin.Screw societal norms! Anybody who looks down on you because you are divorced can eat sh*t for all you care. Afterall, you're alive! That's all that matters.
Those who claim to stay for the sake of the kids, the man will kill you eventually and the kids will lose you forever!
Stop listening to those yeye Pastors and Counsellors. They too are guilty of the same atrocities you are complaining to them about. That's why all they can tell you to do is "pray."
NEVER TOLERATE ABUSE, WHETHER PHYSICAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL.

You're so right.....a lot goes on and we watch as spectators most times as it unfolds and at times try to support a friend but most believe it will work out eventually till it's too late....there's a story that has gone viral...i posted it initially and deleted it...the write up was made to look like an account from the grave...the delivery could have been done differently according to a friend to give it a genuine bite.....

Here's the link to the story......so much abuse and pain.....she's dead now....

http://bigeyesbigears.blogspot.ca/20....html?spref=tw

...........................................
There's also another story about a man who divorced his wife because she didnt give birth to male children the male eluded them, she gave birth to 5 daughters.....so it must be the woman's fault.....divorced after so many yrs of emotional torture.....

[emj]

Is it a curse?

A 15-year-old girl is lying critically ill in an undisclosed hospital in Port Harcourt after she was allegedly gang-raped. The incident occurred on Tuesday evening in Rumuodumaya in Obio/Akpo Local Government Area of Rivers State.


Already, no fewer than seven boys said to be in their early 20s have been rounded up by the Police in connection with the incident. It was gathered that the girl (name withheld) had gone to the nearby Rumuokoro market to make some purchases in the evening of the fateful day. On her way home, she was allegedly abducted by some boys and taken to their hideout located inside the Rumuokoro slaughter area where she was raped.

Read the rest of the story here.......>>>>>>>>

http://www.todaysgist.com/2012/04/7-boys-gang-rape-15-yr-old-girl.html



An old blog about rape culture......

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/...6/#comment5670

[emj]

This is what happens when mental health issues is taken for granted...


http://allafrica.com/stories/201204270170.html

A resident of Kawo Audu Saye in Nassarawa local government area of Kano State allegedly took the life of his eldest wife by slaughtering her with a knife.

Malam Muhammad Tukur, who is married to two women, was said to have killed his first wife around 4:30am yesterday after he reportedly "dreamt that the deceased had targeted him for assassination".

Residents told Daily Trust that neighbours heard a loud shrill of the women from his house around 4am, following which they invited the police. "He possibly must have attacked her while she was asleep," they said.

A neighbour, who wants to remain anonymous, said the alleged attacker has children with the slain wife, adding however that there were rumours that he recently suffered mental breakdown and was taken to a local doctor.

"I stopped seeing him for some days and when I enquired after he returned two days ago, I was told he was taken to a traditional doctor for cure," said the neighbour.

Daily Trust was also told that Malam Tukur took his second wife not long ago.

Kano Police Command's spokesman ASP Musa Magaji Majiya, who confirmed the incident, said the suspect is now in their custody.

Majiya said the suspect had confessed during interrogation to stabbing his wife to death after having a dream. "He said the wife appeared in his dream trying to kill him with a knife. That is why he killed her," he said.

[emj]

Quite motivating......

As I have been sharing daily with you ways to work with your inner child who has been abused, violated, controlled, hurt, minsunderstood, rejected, neglected, silenced so many of you woman have come out and commented on your own lives and experiences and this is awesome!
I want to encourage you al this morning (my time here) and say that often we look back and and think " Why Me" and then feel as though you are spending the rest of your life trying to heal, restore what others have taken from you, love your self and your inner child, manage your emotions on a daily basis, try to live a " Normal" life and have "normal" relationships and sometimes you think to yourself " I have had enough of this, its too hard, been through too much, just want to feel good and normal and well" without the everyday struggles, the triggers, the flashbacks, the self sabotaging, the guilt, the fear, the shame that you seem to wear like a heavy cloak around your shoulders causing you to feel heavy and burdened.
YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL this may not even peneterate your hearts or your head, perhaps you cant even quite comprehend the words ' I AM LOVEABLE" "I DESERVE TO BE LOVED" but I want to tell you today that what you have been through, what I have been through which felt like hell and back is for a PURPOSE. You have gone through the fire and you don't have to be burnt by it, scared by it, you can come out purified like pure gold.

You now have a VOICE your own voice, to share your own experiences, help others who are in your situations who are in abusive or violent relelationships and who are afraid to leave, perhaps they have children and are dependant on the abuser for financial support or a roof over their heads, perhaps they fear for the lives of their children and for themselves.
TAKE A STAND, SPEAK UP, TAKE ACTION you have not been through what you have in your life for nothing, you have paid a BIG PRICE don't waste it hidden in the closet of shame, remorse, self pity, indulgence, escapism, COME OUT AND SHOW THE WORLD that you are more than a survior you are THRIVING even though you may not feel that way, each little step you take towards your healing, loving yourself, forgiving yourself, others, you are making progress.
So pat yourself on the back this day and say WELL DONE ME. I MAY NOT YET BE WERE I WANT TO BE BUT HELL IM NOT WERE I WAS, AND I AM ON MY WAY AND I AM OKAY...... your healing journey of recovery from trauma and abuse will also expand as you reach out to others who are in similar circumstances to what you have been in and THEY NEED YOU TODAY.
BREAK THE SILENCE xxx love Melanie

[emj]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ds-toilet.html

I dont understand why the 15yr old can be named and the 16 cannot..what sort of protection are they giving to this animals?

Cant even begin to wrap my head around how this sort of crime can happen?

.................................................. ..hmm


Six months for boy who raped girl of 11 sparks outrage over 16-year-old thug's soft sentence for attack in McDonald's toilet

• Series of attacks took place on three separate dates
• Involved up to eight members of the same street gang
• Only two were convicted, but investigations continue
• Ringleader, then aged 13, was jailed for five years
• Judge said attack had 'far reaching effects' on victim
• Thugs beat her up to make sure she kept quiet

By KATHERINE FAULKNER
UPDATED: 22:50 GMT, 4 May 2012


Jailed: Ibrahim Giwa outside Inner London Crown Court ahead of his sentencing for his involvement of a gang rape of an 11-year-old girlA teenage gang member who raped a girl of 11 in a McDonald's toilet will serve only six months behind bars after an astonishing ruling by a judge yesterday.

The 16-year-old was one of several thugs who preyed on the 'vulnerable and lonely' victim over a number of months.
They subjected the girl to a series of horrific rapes before trying to intimidate her into staying silent.But incredibly, he was locked up for just one year yesterday after the judge said the victim's unwillingness to have sex 'may not have been obvious' to him and he deserved 'very great credit' for pleading guilty.
The teenager - who cannot be named - is likely to serve only six months in a young offenders' institution
.Last night the sentence was condemned by victims' groups, who said it trivialised the rape of a child. In law, a girl of 11 is deemed incapable of consenting to sex in any circumstances.Jo Wood, a spokesman for Rape Crisis, said: 'Victims will be appalled by this kind of sentence.
That victim will undoubtedly serve a life sentence after what has happened to her.'It will have taken considerable courage for her to come forward. I am very concerned that this sentence does not reflect the seriousness of the crime at all.'Courts will need to seriously consider the message that sentences such as these send out.'


Terrifying attack: The final attack happened in the toilets of this McDonald's in East Ham


Stephen Timms, the Labour MP for East Ham, said: 'These attacks were horrendous, repeated and committed by young men who seemed to have little remorse for the trauma they have inflicted on this girl. I am shocked, especially given the gang dimension to this case, that their sentences are so short.'Conservative MP Philip Davies said: 'For a court to hand down such a derisory sentence for one of the most serious crimes seems to me to be totally unacceptable.'Mr Davies said such sentences had 'left the public with no confidence in the criminal justice system'. He added: 'It certainly won't act as a deterrent, or encourage victims of rape to come forward.

• Judge reveals name of 13-year-old ringleader of street gang who raped girl, 11, in McDonald's toilet
• Internet porn: PM steps in to 'safeguard children' by saying Government will discuss 'opt in'
• Groom cleared of raping his bride on their wedding night 'who made up allegations to get him into trouble'

'Given how serious the problems with gang culture are in this country, I think it is very weak indeed.'
The victim, who is now 13, stared at the floor in court yesterday as Ibraheem Giwa, 15, and his 16-year-old co-defendant, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were sentenced to five years and one year respectively.
Both had been members of the Say No More gang from the Custom House area of Newham, East London - an area blighted by violent turf wars.
Ibraheem 'Ibby' Giwa - described as the ringleader - was just 13 when he carried out the first attack on the girl in September 2009, Inner London Crown Court heard.

He dragged the girl, who had just started secondary school, into the bushes at a park, and raped her while another boy watched. He then invited her to his house, where she asked him: 'If I do it, are you going to leave me alone?'Giwa then raped her again, before inviting a queue of up to eight other gang members to do the same.The victim wept throughout the attacks and asked the boys to 'stop it', but they simply told her to stop crying because it 'made it look like they'd done something' to her.She later told police: 'They didn't ask
me if I wanted it or not
.'

Horrific: The first attack on the 11-year-old was at Central Park in Canning Town, East London where the ringleader and another boy started asking her about sex and then both raped her





The horrific details of the gang attacks were heard by a jury at Inner London Crown Court before the verdicts were given

Six months later, in March 2010, she was attacked in the toilet of a McDonald's restaurant in East Ham, East London, by the gang member, then 14, who had heard about the previous rapes.He followed her into the toilet and raped her while his friends waited outside the door.
After the attacks, members of the gang bombarded the victim with texts and phone calls warning her not to tell anyone about what had happened.On two occasions, she was beaten up as a warning not to report the crimes.
When she finally did go to the police, officers seized the defendants' computers and found that Giwa had discussed the rape with others on Facebook.In one conversation, Giwa had written: 'I think the girl we rapped (sic) went to police.'A 15-year-old, who cannot been named and who was later cleared, wrote: 'What girl?' Giwa replied: 'The girl we bang at my house.'Passing sentence, Judge Patricia Lees said the rapes had been 'selfish and debased' attacks on a vulnerable and lonely child who had been left genuinely frightened of gang reprisals.
Judge Lees said the victim had been 'an easy target' for the gang.'Your actions have had far-reaching and life-changing effects on a young girl you subjected to your debased and selfish desires,' she said.'The victim was but 11 years old. She had just started secondary school.'She certainly wasn't mature enough to realise whether she wanted to have sex with you.'You both realised she was likely not to refuse because of her submissive nature, ignoring the way it would inevitably affect her.'You chose to ignore that for your own selfish gratification.'The judge added their victim 'remains genuinely frightened of reprisals' for having reported their vile attacks. The Say No More gang - their name an edict not to talk to the police - are just one of many rival groups of teenage thugs that have blighted East London in recent years.
Their increasingly vicious 'postcode wars' have left residents terrified for their lives.One who dared to stand up to the gangs was Peter Woodhams, a 22-year-old satellite TV engineer from Canning Town. He paid with his life in August 2006 when he was shot through the heart in front of his fiancée and three-year-old son.His family begged for the police to get a grip on the gang violence crippling the area.But in 2009, 15-year-old Steven Lewis was stabbed to death by rival gang members from the E16 postcode

.Yesterday residents of the area said 'nothing had changed'.Equally disturbing, experts say, is the growing trend towards sexual violence towards young girls on the fringes of gang culture. They believe yesterday's case it is indicative of a much wider problem.The Metropolitan Police estimate that the 250 criminal gangs in London are responsible for one in seven reported rapes.

The NSPCC has said a third of teenage girls have been forced into sexual activity, while the Race On The Agenda charity's research shows rape is used as punishment for girl gang members.One has gone so far as to claim rape has become 'normal' in London gang culture. Isha Nembhard, former member of an 80-strong gang in Peckham, South London, warned in February that some young girls would risk rape in return for membership of a group.'It is about low self esteem and a craving for attention,' she said.

The Government has announced £1.2million to tackle the issue, while the Metropolitan Police has set up the Heart programme, focusing on educating vulnerable girls about relationships.

[emj]

Woman raped by masquerade forced to apologize to her rapist by Police.

One begin to wonder at what the world is turning to.
We've heard of how the police in some instance ask a rape victim to settle out of court.
To let go, and of course some of the rapist walk.

This particular case is just so pathetically annoying......

A young woman in Nsukka has been made to live with the most unimaginable humiliation of her life: After she was allegedly raped by a masquerade, she was then made to apologise to her rapist, for, wait for it, wrongly accusing him. And it did not stop at that, the law enforcement agents, who should ordinarily protect this nursing mother, are also fingered in a dehumanizing plot that saw her putting the apology in writing.

Now, it is the alleged rape of an undergraduate nursing mother by masquerade known in local parlance as "Oriokpa". The strange rape of 28 year-old nursing mother, Ngozi (Surname withheld by us), by Oriokpa masquerade on her way to fetch water on March 21, 2012, was further compounded by alleged police complicity.

Daily Sun found that the offending masquerade was arrested and unmasked by the police but was hurriedly released on the excuse that he had JAMB exam to take. It was also alleged that the hasty release of the masker, identified as Ifeanyi... (Surname withheld by us) was facilitated by alleged greasing of the palm of the police. Daily Sun further gathered that while the nursing mother was yet on hospital bed at the St. Joseph Hospital Opi, her drip transfusion was disrupted several times as she was allegedly forced by the police to come to make one statement and another.

The nursing mother laments that she was coerced to change her statement, to write that she was not raped days after she was compelled to write apology and her father intimidated to close the matter on the claim that doctor's report said she was not raped, neither read the report nor see it. I was forced to write an apology by the police. When all these things were happening, no policeman came to hospital to take my statement. All the time, nurses will remove my drip on my hand for me to go to police station to answer their invitation", the nursing mother lamented. She however said, she has forgiven the family of the masquer. "God will judge everybody according to his or her work. I have forgiven the boy because of his mother, but I just want the world to know that I was maltreated because we are poor". A source from Idi-opi, disclosed that unlike the Ogbozalla Opi rape, where no traditional sanction was meted to the rapists, the Idi-Opi Council of Elders have slammed a sanction on the alleged masquarader's family. According to the source, the family had been ordered to provide items for the propitiation of the gods of the land or risk ostracism.

Sun enquiry at the Divisional police station, Nsukka where the case was reported did not yield much dividend, our checks showed that "a case of assault occasioning harm by masquerade, was reported at the station by one Ugwu Ngozika and not rape".

Contacted, Dr. Ugwu, (Surname withheld) whom Ngozika claimed carried out lab test on her said, he could not remember the woman's (Ngozi) case. "I cannot remember the woman you are talking about. Here, we handle a lot of cases", he stated. He however, said if given enough time, he could contact the police to find out if such a woman was even brought to him by them.

Asked if the woman was entitled to a copy of the result of lab test carried on her, Dr. Ugwu who is also, the medical officer in charge Nsukka District Hospital, said yes, but later said it was discretionary saying lab, results are secret documents. Ngozi who is the only female child of her parents bared her mind to Daily Sun in her home, Idi Opi few kilometers from Nsukka urban. Our correspondent, Kassidy Uchendu reports.

How Masquerade Raped Me:- This thing happened on March 21, 2012. There were three masquerades that day but two were spotted and people started running. I was going to fetch water and as people were running, I equally ran and hid somewhere until the two masquerades passed. As the masquerade passed, I came out to fetch water, I heard one child saying: "see another masquerade".

I didn't see that very masquerade and people were running and as I was running to enter into someone's house, the Masquerade took an apian road and pushed me to the building where I was running to enter. I tried to jump blocks that were packed, but couldn't and the masquerade caught me and started beating me What surprised me was that the Masquerade said it has been long he was looking for me and have finally caught me today. I asked the masquerade what have I done to him that he was looking for me for a long time, or could it be it was a mistaken identity, but the Masquerade said I am talking nonsense, that he has caught me.

The Masquerade threatened he was taking me to a bigger Masquerade, saying it has been long I have been insulting him. I told him I am nursing a baby and he shouted me down while caning me. I started shouting calling the three communities of Opi, but I was surprised that people did not come to my immediate rescue.

As the masquerade was still dragging me along with him, then one man tying wrapper came out. The man pleaded with the masquerade to leave me, but he refused, saying that I have insulted him for too long. The masquerade insisted on taking me to the bigger masquerade which will compel my clan to bring a cow as fine. All my pleading together with the man who came to my rescue, failed as he dragged me to a bush and I told him that is not the way to the place where to see the bigger masquerade. I have made up my mind to see the bigger masquerade to know what I have done wrong to deserve the treatment. He dragged me to enter a bad bush and I resisted with the last strength in me to avail, even as he threatened to kill me.

As we were dragging, he gave me a stud and threw me to the ground and fell on me. He held me on the neck for me not to shout. Both my eyes and nose were blocked. I am not sure he was alone when he threw me to the ground because I was unconscious. I could not have normal breathing nor see anything again, I was unconscious. I didn't know when I was taken to the hospital, I do not know where I was and did not know anything that was going on.

When I started gaining consciousness, I did not see my pant and my bra was torn. I now said, so this masquerade raped me while I was on my own. Fear griped me that the masquerade might have transmitted HIV/AIDS to me. I am not sure of being free from it till after 6 months when I will go for HIV test to know whether I'm positive or negative. I am not sure the masquerade did not impregnant me, my conscience is not yet clear until I go for that HIV test. I will like to carry out all necessary tests on sexual transmitted diseases.

The police asked me to write apology letter and I was surprised on why I should write an apology letter, for what? Am I writing apology letter because I am not sure of myself? I took it because when he said I should not say anything, saying doctor's report shows that I was not raped. I did not read the report nor see it. I was forced to write an apology by the police. When all these things were happening, no police came to the hospital to take my statement.

I do not know if the masquerade was arrested and questioned by the police. The next thing was that the mother of the man wearing the masquerade came begging me to forgive her son. I told his mother that I have forgiven him.

The police said that I should not be paid what my family spent in the case. The police said that the rapist's family will only take care of the hospital bill. The police said that I am even lucky for the rapist's family to pay hospital bill, that some people can come and report a case of rape and it will be discovered that they were not raped and nothing will be paid to them. The rapist's family paid only the hospital bill. But I have forgiven them and resigned my fate to God.

IPO asked me to write, I was not raped:- The police invited us again to the police station claiming that the DPO was not around the day the matter was closed, that we have to come back. When I went to answer the invitation, the IPO took me to an office and told me that he earlier told me the doctor's report showed that I was not raped. I questioned as to why the issue again, since I have closed the matter with my father. The IPO asked me to write that I was not raped. They are stronger than me. I wrote that I was not raped according to police doctor's report.

The boy who raped me gave police one name but people who knew him said that his real name is different from what he gave the police. The name of the police officer that handled my case is "Akor" The IPO gave me a letter which he claimed came from the DPO and asked me to go and give it to the witness. I collected it and delivered it to the witness and he said that he is not going to any place as he did not go when the case was in progress, why are you inviting him after the case was closed, that he will not go. The name of the witness is Ugwunwanshi Basil.

The IPO later asked me what the witness said and I told him, and he asked me to come the next day with the man. I told him that I will not come. Up till now that I speak with you "journalist', I have not seen the police man or heard from him again. - sun news.

[emj]

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/05/04/...-with-girl-10/

And this other one is just so........interesting...the wife got the pedophile arrested.....sweet

A housewife has handed her husband to the police in Lagos State, Southwest Nigeria, when she allegedly caught him having sex with a 10-year old hawker on their matrimonial bed.

The 37-year old, Michael Ereba was allegedly caught by his pregnant wife, Flora while he was having sex with the little girl at their house at Jakande Estate, Ajah area, Lekki, Lagos.

P.M.NEWS gathered that the couple married eight years ago and had three children.
The victim told the police that she was hawking snacks in the estate when Michael called her under the pretence of buying snacks from her.

She narrated that when he went to his house, he dragged her inside his bedroom and tore her pant and started having sex with her forcefully.

She said while she was struggling to free herself from Michael, his wife who had gone out came back and met them in the act.

She said his wife raised an alarm and scolded her husband.

Instead of Michael pleading with his wife, he started beating her.

His wife alerted her neighbours who contacted the police. And he was arrested.
Michael is now facing a charge of rape at a Family Court in Surulere, Lagos.

When he was arraigned, he pleaded not guilty.

The presiding Magistrate, Mrs Daudu granted him bail in the sum of N200,000 with two sureties in like sum.
The matter was adjourned till 7 June 2012.

He was however remanded in prison custody at Ikoyi, Lagos because he could not fulfil his bail conditions.

P.M.NEWS learnt that Mrs. Ereba who could have facilitated her huband's bail has taken their children to their home town in Rivers State because of the shameful act.

—Cyriacus Izuekwe

[emj]

housewife: My husband aborted pregnancies with punches

a man turned his home into a boxing ring
and himself a boxer using punches to abort
pregnancies, a housewife has told a lagos
customary court sitting at agbado oke-
aro.

Mrs olayinka uzamat alleged that her
husband aborted at least three pregnancies
she carried for him with punches. This
came after the marriage had produced
three children.

The pregnancy - aborting - punches were
the result of several disagreements.

Olayinka, the petitioner on the case of
divorce, said the husband always accused
her of being wayward, saying he once
vowed to kill her when they had a
quarrel.

She therefore urged the court to dissolve
the marriage and grant her custody of the
children.

In his defence, azeez informed the court
that he never raised his hands against his
wife, because he loved her passionately.

The respondent pleaded that the court
should not dissolve the marriage for the
sake of the children, adding, however,
that if his wife remained adamant, the
court should grant him custody of the
children.

The court president, mr. M. O. Jolaosho,
adjourned the case for further hearing.

[emj]

2 Friends Gang-Rape Teenager, Take Victim's Nude Photo With Phone

—By Cyriacus Izuekwe & Jethro Ibileke/Benin
A 17-year old girl (name withheld) has narrated before an Ejigbo magistrate's court in Lagos, how two friends, Ekene Uzor, 24, and Eni Daniel, 21, allegedly gang-raped her after they had forced her to suck their penises. They also took her nude photo with their camera phones.
The teenager was giving evidence before the court in a two-count charge of forcing her to suck the defendants' penises and gang-raping her.
At Thursday's resumed hearing before the trial magistrate, Mrs. M.B. Folami, the girl said she knew Daniel Uzor, who is in the entertainment industry, at her mother's shop in Surulere, Lagos, southwest Nigeria.
The victim stated that Uzor promised to groom her to become a star in the entertainment industry and under this guise, he invited her to his residence at 10, Joe Ejeye, Jakande Estate, Ejigbo.
She said on the day of the incident, she went to Uzor's flat where his friend, Eni Daniel was already waiting, adding that immediately she entered, Uzor locked the door to the flat.
"They came to me and started fondling my breasts and other parts of my body. They ordered me to remove my dress. They started taking my nude photographs and threatened to post them on the internet.
"They forced me to suck their penises. They had rounds of sex with me in turns. When they were satisfied, they told me to go. But they did not delete my nude photographs in their camera phones," the girl narrated her ordeal.
She disclosed that she did not inform anyone of her experience because of fear that her nude photographs might be posted on the internet.
But after some days, she summoned the courage and narrated the incident to her grandfather who took her to the police station to report the matter.
She said when the police arrested Uzor and Eni, her nude photographs were still in their mobile phones. The photographs were later downloaded and printed in hard copies. The court admitted them as exhibits.
The police prosecutor, Mr. Oladejo Balogun, charged Uzor and Eni before the court with the offences punishable under sections 409 and 259 of the criminal code laws of Lagos state of Nigeria, 2011.
At the commencement of the case, they pleaded not guilty when the charge was read to them.
The trial magistrate, Mrs. Folami admitted them to bail in the sum of N500,000 each with two sureties each in like sum.
Uzor and Eni were remanded in prison custody pending when they will perfect their bail condition.
The court has adjourned the matter till 31 August, 2012 for continuation of the trial.
In another incident, a 70-year old pastor, Alfred Idonije has been arraigned before an Egor Magistrate's court in Benin for allegedly defiling a 10-year old orphan (name withheld).
The defendant, who was said to be a pastor of a church, allegedly forcefully had unlawful carnal knowledge of the girl on 25 June, 2012 after luring her into his room when he sent her to buy noodles for him.
Narrating her ordeal before the court, the little girl said the accused had raped her on three occasions and threatened to kill her if she reported to anyone.
Testifying, the major witness and grandmother of the victim, Mrs. Mary Akhighe, said the girl is an orphan. She stated that the defendant was their neighbour who usually sends the victim on errands.
Mrs. Akghibe said on the day of the incident, she saw the victim being sexually abused by the accused inside his room.
Counsel to the defendant, Barrister Osa Uwagie, appealed to the court to grant his client who appeared frail, bail to enable him seek medical attention before the adjourned date.
The presiding Magistrate, Taye Omoruyi, granted Idonije bail in the sum of N200, 000 with a surety who must be a civil servant from grade level 12.
Counsel to the victim, Stella Ojeme and Emmanuel Dauda expressed happiness with the proceedings, adding that the adjournment would enable them present more witnesses to ensure that justice is done.

Further hearing on the matter was adjourned till 23 August, 2012.
President of a non-government organisation, Child Protection Network (CPN), Edo State chapter, Mrs. Jennifer Ero, who facilitated the trial of the case, urged parents to report cases of rape to them as this would reduce child rape cases which she said was on the increase.

"We also want to say to the public that rape is happening everyday, and nobody is coming out to talk about it. It is okay for you to come out and talk about it and for you to take the case to court," she advised.

[emj]

http://www.unwomen.org/2013/01/one-a...atus-of-women/


African Ministerial Preparatory Meeting for the 57th Session of the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) "Elimination and Prevention of all forms of Violence against Women and Girls"
14 January 2013, Addis Ababa — An African Ministerial Meeting to discuss enhanced collaboration and information-sharing among and between regions in Africa on strategies to End Violence Against Women and Girls kicked off today at the United Nations Conference Centre. This is a preparatory meeting for the 57^thsession of the CSW to be held in March 2013 in New York. It brings Africans together to speak with one voice on the issue of Violence Against Women and Girls.

In Addis Ababa, UN Women Deputy Executive Director Lakshmi Puri encourages African States to coordinate their approaches to ending violence against women. Photo credit: UN Women/Felix Eldridge

Ms. Lakshmi Puri, UN Assistant Secretary-General and UN Women Deputy Executive Director, noted in her opening remarks that "a life free from violence is an obligation of States and a responsibility of us all." She expressed her excitement to see so many high level participants at this important meeting. "In Africa and elsewhere in the world, eliminating violence against women must be our common effort and can be our common achievement" she added.
Furthermore, she emphasized that "violence against women must be recognized as a threat to democracy, peace and security; an obstacle to sustainable development; and an appalling human rights violation."
Another keynote speaker, Dr. Carlos Lopez, UN Under-Secretary-General and Executive Secretary of the United Nations Economic Commission for Africa, said in his opening remarks that "we need bold and urgent measures to tackle violence against women." He added that "we also need the commitment of men" in this fight.
Ms. Rashida Manjoo, UN Special Rapporteur on violence against women, its causes and consequences,stated that "the lack of a holistic approach to violence against women has been an obstacle in identifying, preventing, and ultimately ending, all forms of violence against women."
Her Excellency Ms. Zenebu Tadesse, Minister of Women, Children and Youth Affairs, Ethiopia, in her keynote address challenged the participants of this meeting to "define our position as Africa." She reaffirmed her Government's commitment to take the outcome of this meeting into account, and welcomed all to this important meeting.
This high-level meeting in its session from 14 to 16 January 2013 brings together representatives from Governments (Ministries of Women's Affairs and Ministries of Foreign Affairs), the African Union, UN Economic Commission for Africa (UNECA), UN Women, other UN agencies, Regional Economic Communities (RECs) and experts in the field.
Participants will strategize on how to accelerate national, regional and global action to eliminate and prevent violence against women and girls. The meeting will also set priorities and make recommendations that will be taken to the 57^th CSW in March 2013, and evaluate the roll-out of the Africa UNiTE Campaign to End Violence against Women and Girls.
Contacts:
Felix Eldridge
Communications Officer, UN Women East & Horn of Africa
Felix.eldridge[at]unwomen.org
+251 931387649
Kristin Ivarsson
Communications Officer, UN Women Ethiopia
+251 934161636

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Hon Minister for Women Affairs : Create an Agency for Eradication of Gender Based Violence


25 November, 2012
Honorable Hajiya Zainab Maina,
Minister of Women Affairs
Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat
Shehu Shagari Way Central Area, P.M.B. 229 Garki,
Abuja Nigeria

Dear respected and entrusted Minister of Women Affairs,

RE: Agency for Eradication of Gender Based Violence

There is no doubt that you are fully aware of the severity and seriousness of gender-based violence which plagues our great nation.
Proposed solutions to the continuous problem have not helped or halted this dire plague of violence which remains within Nigeria.
We are writing this letter to advocate the implementation of specific legislation to protect women against sexual and gender-based violence and ensure that Nigerian women benefit from full equality before the law.
Statistics inform us that specific acts and legislation has not alleviated the problem. To complicate matters, a majority of territories do not have the specific mandates or laws protecting women, and the dark side of crime suggests that most domestic acts of crime go unreported because of the shame and social stigma and fail not only in the home, but also in police investigation, religious counseling, as well as other "help-oriented" agencies.
Sexual violence is on the increase, the law aids impunity as offenders are not prosecuted and the burden of proof weighs heavily on women.
The law is negatively and institutionally skewed against women seeking prosecution.
To stem the tide of the vicious and abhorrent crimes against women, let us look more closely at the statistics and the legal aspects of this wave of protected atrocities in order to understand why sweeping and national legislation is needed beyond doubt.

One in Three Nigerian Women/Girls within the ages of 15-24 have been the victims of domestic violence.
50% of women have been subject to abuse from husbands and most believe that the law will not protect them and endure this abuse:
A shocking and staggering 97.2% are not willing to report to police. Such statistics suggest a shameful "conspiracy of silence" with an "entrenched culture of impunity" for perpetrators of domestic abuse. Continually shocking are married women's acceptance of wife-beating indicating that educational and social systems may enable such practices. For example in the South regions up to 92% of women find the practice acceptable. Such statistics beg for more analysis and consideration at the civil, legal and educational levels.
Violence is a cross cutting theme which affects all women in Nigeria in all contexts.

Suggestions have been made that much of the blame can be placed on plural legal systems in Nigeria. As the Nigeria CEDAW NGO Coalition and Research (Madhi, 2011) have found the current laws do not provide women and girls with adequate protection.
Although there have been some signs of progress such as the Violence against Women Prevention, Protection and Prohibition Act of 2002, only 4 States have enacted domestic violence laws (Ebonyi, Jigawa, Cross Rivers and Lagos), and only 6 have enacted legislation against FGM (female gender mutilation): Enugu, Edo, Bayelsa, Delta, Cross Rivers and Ogun.
In essence, the legal literature relies on statutory, customary, and religious laws to permit violence against women.
The penal code (section 55(4) identified by CEDAW, in the Northern regions of Nigeria has been used to legalize 'corrective' beating of a child, pupil, servant or wife, as long as this does not cause grievous hurt. In similar fashion marital or spousal rape is excluded from definitions of rape in legislation in the North and under the criminal code in the South, specifically Sec. 295 of the Penal code.
These two legal factors and definitions may indeed be the root cause of gender—based violence by allowing such permissions of behavior. Differences in the definition of rape in State, Federal, Sharia and Customary legal systems create a plural justice system that potentially undermines women's rights to seek legal redress.Due to the shame and stigma attached to such violence, as well as the plurality of definitions, and enacted legislations, the victim is penalized, rather than the perpetrator.
To complicate matters under Muslim Sharia law, a rape victim will need a witness in order to prosecute.
What Nigeria needs is sweeping reform similar in nature and as expansive and protection-oriented as the quite successful NAPTIP program.

Yet top-heavy legislation, while necessary, will not curb a behavior that has been institutionalized and to a large degree socialized as a "private matter."
The statistics on domestic violence acts are notoriously suspect: cases go unreported or settled financially out of court. To complicate matters CEDAW was rejected by the National assembly in 2007 and the 2008 WELA bill still needs to be enacted by 36 States. To these ends we propose sweeping reform in education, gender sensitivity training for police, and a uniform and specific legislative act to help end all gender-based violence in Nigeria. In addition, research and data are needed in all areas of this highly sensitive area which still remains a conspiracy of silence while women continue to suffer.

Under your guidance and counsel as Minister of Women Affairs, we propose the creation of an Agency for Eradication of
Gender Based Violence, which would have the following ameliorating functions:

1. Conduct research and analysis on gender-based violence in Nigeria
2. Create support coalitions with other governmental and non-governmental agencies.
3. Sponsor and provide investigative and counseling services for victims
4. Campaign for effective and enforceable legislation throughout Nigeria
5. Sponsor a legislative Bill at the National Assembly for the proposed Agency with powers similar to NAPTIP
6. Sponsor Gender Sensitivity Training for Police, Legal Representatives and Courts
7. Sponsor a legislative Bill making Gender Equality Education and primary prevention techniques mandatory at all levels of Education in Nigeria.
8. Establish "Safe Havens" in select locations for victims

To these ends, we believe the criteria set forth above, will adequately and significantly address the problem of gender-based violence within our Nation and greatly improve the lives of women.

Respectfully,

Princess Rosemary Mukoro
Executive Director

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Be vocal against disrespectful behaviors and language.

Hold men accountable for their speech and conduct.

If you witness disrespectful behavior or language and don't speak out against it, you are part of the problem.
Speak up and say something when you see others threatening violence, using disrespectful language or making degrading jokes.
When engaging other men, you need to do this man-to-man in a way that does not indict men as perpetrators, but invites them to become part of the solution to end domestic violence.

Teach our youth.

It's never too early to teach respect and a view of a healthy relationship.
Talk to youths in your life about what it means to be a respectful man and to value women and girls. Educate your sons that violence and abuse are wrong. Starting today, you can help our youths to understand that calling a girl a degrading name or saying it as part of a lyric to a song supports and tolerates abusive behavior.
Together, we can help teach our youths about what it means to have a healthy and respectful relationship.

Ask women about their experiences.

Any woman or girl subjected to abusive behavior or degrading language is someone's daughter, friend or colleague. She's probably also someone's sister, partner or mother.
It is the same for any man or boy subjected to abuse. Think about those in your life.
How would you feel if you witnessed them being abused or disrespected?
Many people think that domestic violence and harassment happens to other people.
We invite you to ask your family members and friends about their life experiences.
You might be surprised by what you hear.
You can use this experience to motivate yourself to get more involved and speak out against violence and abuse.

If you have experienced domestic violence or other abuse, know that your voice counts too.

If you have experienced domestic violence or other abuse, know that you are not alone and that there are resources for you. As you work to prevent domestic violence, please know that your healing and wellness are a priority as well.

SOTHAWACA GROUP: Advisory, Counselling and Advocacy.

MISSION:

Society to Halt Women and Children Abuse (SOTHAWACA) consists of a community of men and women dedicated to breaking the circle of abuse and neglect as well as saving and strengthening children and the family in general.

WHO WE ARE:
Basically, we are supporters and volunteers who encompass a diverse range of religious beliefs and perspectives. We render services to children and families who fall under these categories. We welcome and encourage anyone who wants to make life better for all those who fall within our scope. We would encourage victims/survivors to tell their stories without scarring them. The Foundation shall be Non-Partisan and Non-Sectarian in class or creed.

ADVOCATE ALERT (CHILD RIGHTS AND WIDOWHOOD RIGHTS):
We would act as a voice to create awareness by STANDING UP and SPEAKING OUT against violence in our midst especially as it affects women and children. Legislative and Policy Advocacy would be of paramount importance to us.

VISION:
To have an informative and empowering set-up where everyone can be comfortable. A place to develop understanding and supportive friendships with other people who know the roller coaster that sexual and emotional abuse can cause. Our desire to support victims and survivors come directly from our hearts with no strings attached. We are determined to provide another resource to those who come to us looking for it.

We at SOTHAWACA would like to be affiliated and partner with your Foundation or with anyone who shares in our vision and would join in championing our noble cause to ensure that appropriate measures and interventions are provided to STOP CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.

[emj]

We urge you all to support Interim Place who provides shelters to Abused and battered Women & Children.
Join us at the Rays of Hope Gala on Feb. 2nd at Radisson Plaza in Mississauga.
For information, contact Interim Place at 905-403-9691 ext 2223 or email: development@interimplace.com

If you are physically, verbally, emotionally or sexually abused...
- If you are a woman with or without children who requires
emergency shelter...
- If you are concerned about a friend...
- If you are a woman in crisis and need help...

Call Interim Place - We Can Help!

http://www.interimplace.com/

[emj]

[hide][top]Malian women make their voices heard: emergency aid, participation in the peace process, and justice for all

Posted on January 25 2013 | Africa | Economic Empowerment | Gender Equality and Women's Empowerment | Governance, Leadership and Political Participation | Human Rights | News

A young forcibly displaced woman rests in a room in Bamako. She suffered mental and physical trauma after being kidnapped by armed men and raped near her home in the Timbuktu region in April. Photo credit: UNHCR / H. Caux

"Our women have been beaten, raped, whipped, forced into polygamous marriages, and who knows what else. They have lost their dignity, but what is man's dignity without that of women?" These are the words of Sophie*, a displaced woman living in Bamako, the country's capital, but originally from Timbuktu in the north of Mali.

Like hundreds of thousands of other people, Sophie fled the violence carried out by radical armed groups such as Ansar Dine, the Movement for Oneness and Jihad in West Africa (MOJWA), and Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM), which have taken control of the northern part of the country, and apply an extreme interpretation of sharia law, with women as their targets.





"We are the first victims of such crises; women and our children," lamented Sophie.
The women assembled within the ECOWAS Women's Peace and Security Network (REPSFECO/Mali), supported by UN Women, speak out at every chance they get, and as they meet leaders.
Their message is clear.
They ask for guarantees that women will be systematically represented in the various negotiation committees, for the assurance that there will be no amnesty for those who have committed rape and other forms of violence, for the economic re-establishment of displaced and refugee women, and for the opening of a humanitarian corridor to facilitate the provision of aid to those in occupied areas.

Michelle Bachelet greets a woman who has been displaced by the conflict in the North of Mali on 9 January 2013. Photo Credit: UN Women/DFA Com

Seated in their traditional tents set up on the grounds of the Maison de la Femme et de l'Enfant in Bamako, the displaced women reiterated these fundamental demands during the visit of UN Women Executive Director Michelle Bachelet to Mali earlier this month.

They spoke emotionally about the situation of extreme violence that reigns in the north of the country.
Rapes and forced marriages take place in towns under the control of these armed groups and women are forced to cover their faces, they explained.
They also highlighted the economic costs of the crisis.

"It is women who generate revenue to cover most of the family's expenses and today these women do not have the right to trade or go to the market for something that will keep the family going," complained Dominique, from Gao.
Some women spoke about their journeys southwards risking their life and that of their children.
The hardships continue, as they now live in precarious conditions in the capital, with very little to provide for their needs.


"Women are suffering on a daily basis as they are subjected to gender-based violence and abuses in all the occupied regions. Lasting peace that extends beyond the simple act of signing a peace agreement is unsustainable if it is not rooted in justice. When violations of human rights are not investigated, when victims' calls for justice are not heard, the risks for renewed violence remain high," said Ms. Bachelet during her discussion with the women.


Ms. Bachelet took the message of the Malian women to the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) Headquarters in Abuja, the next day.
The ECOWAS Member States are in the process of building an International Support Mission to Mali. Ms. Bachelet emphasised to ECOWAS the need for justice and an end to sexual violence, as well as the importance of the full participation of women in mediation and transition to ensure durable peace in Mali.



* For security reasons, the names of persons mentioned in this article have been changed in order to protect their identity.




http://www.unwomen.org/2013/01/malia...stice-for-all/

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[hide][top]Abolishing Sang Chatti: Pakistan works to prevent compensation marriage and other forms of violence against women

Posted on February 11 2013 | Asia and the Pacific | Ending Violence against Women | Human Rights| News | Stories from the Field


Seven-year-old Izzo Bibi* lives in a small village in the province of Sindh in southern Pakistan. Her father cannot afford to send her to school but her mother has taught her traditional Sindhi embroidery. Izzo's older cousin Sheeno* used to help her learn new embroidery motifs.


When Izzo's paternal uncle murdered his neighbour, the faislo (also calledJirga, the decision-making tribal gathering) demanded two girls from the murderer's family as Sang Chatti (compensation marriage).
At only 12 years of age, Sheeno was forcibly taken away by the aggrieved family. She did not even get to gather her belongings.
The point was to punish the family by treating her harshly. No wedding ceremony took place. There was no music, no laughter — only Sheeno's screams while she was being separated from her family.

Seven-year-old Izzo Bibi has had to learn new embroidery motifs from her mother ever since her cousin Sheeno was sent away as a compensation bride. Photo courtesy of Samar Minallah Khan

The only news her mother received was that her daughter was being made to do household chores, wear worn-out clothes, walk barefooted and live as the wife of a 40-year-old man.
Today Sheeno lives with both physical and emotional abuse and for the rest of her life she will be a taano (insult) for being a murderer's daughter.

The Jirga's decision had not yet been fully enforced and Sheeno's suffering was deemed insufficient to compensate for the crime.
According to the local elders, 7-year-old Izzo Bibi was also to be handed over to the aggrieved family as compensation.
Having witnessed Sheeno's fate with her own eyes, Izzo's fears worsened when she was told by her friends that she would also be sent as compensation as a wife to a 28-year-old man.
Anticipating this, Izzo's father sent her away for a few days.
Furthermore Izzo's father decided not to obey the tribal decree, risking his life to stand up to the tribal custom. With a local lawyer, he submitted anapplication to the Supreme Court of Pakistan.
His case was heard by the Supreme Court in 2011 which gave directions to the police to arrest the Jirgamembers and suspend its decision.
However for Sheeno, help arrived too late. She refused to return to her parent's house out of fear.

[top]JIRGAS AND PANCHAYAT

Parallel traditional legal systems continue to exist in Pakistan. Jirgas, the informal dispute-resolution system, also known as Panchayats undermines the authority of the State as these informal justice systems continue to exist even after the national courts have declared them illegal.

Women and girls are often at the receiving end of the injustice and violation that stems from these mechanisms.
A common perception among the general public is that the formal justice system has loop holes and many times does not provide speedy justice. As a result, the majority of the population uses these informal justice systems to resolve disputes - particularly in rural areas.
In this system women and girls usually have no say in decisions, for male members speak on their behalf, and other men deliver a judgment that has a grave impact on their lives.


Along with 186 other countries, Pakistan is a State party to the UNConvention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW), also known as the Women's Bill of Rights. The CEDAW Committee, which monitors compliance with the international human rights treaty, last reviewed Pakistan's progress in 2007. In the concluding observations adopted, the Committee urged the State of Pakistan to enforce the judgment of the Supreme Court calling for the elimination of such forums, like the Jirgas[i]. It also urged the Government to ensure that members of such forums who participate in the decisions that constitute violence against women be held accountable.


As Pakistan prepares for the review by the CEDAW Committee of its fourth periodic report on 12 February 2013, the State will detail what has been done to implement the recommendations of the CEDAW Committee, including to eliminate Jirgas and end violence against women.
Civil society organizations in their shadow reports for this CEDAW session, have urged the Government to ensure that legislation, such as laws banningJirgas and Panchayat, be strictly enforced and that all tiers of Government, at both national and provincial levels, be aware of the State's commitments under CEDAW. They also urge the Government to ensure that the National Commission on the Status of Women (NCSW) is able to carry out its mandate and functions effectively and that its recommendations are considered by the Parliament in a timely manner.


UN Women assists Governments around the world in preparing CEDAW reports. In Pakistan, UN Women provided technical support initially to the Government and the National Commission to help monitor the country's CEDAW commitments and report.
As a result of these efforts, for the first time in Pakistan a CEDAW unit was established within the Ministry of Women's Development (MoWD) in 2009. Also that year, CEDAW Provincial Committees (CPCs)[ii] and an Inter-Provincial Ministerial Group (IPMG)[iii] were established to facilitate better oversight and monitoring of the implementation of the CEDAW Committee's concluding observations.
After sustained efforts by civil society and technical support from UN Women, the NCSW filed a petition against theJirga/Panchayat system in the Supreme Court of Pakistan in 2012.


Through sustained efforts of civil society groups in Pakistan, and UN Women-led efforts, the Prevention of Anti-Women Practices Bill, that prohibits forced marriages, was also passed in 2011. To increase awareness of the law, UN Women-supported partners to conduct training workshops and awareness-raising activities with law enforcement agencies, doctors, lawyers as well as the general public on existing legislation, such as the Prevention of Anti-Women Practices Bill 2011.


Laws need speedy implementation and can play a significant deterrent role. In Izzo's case, it gave her family courage to challenge the customs -and ensured that Izzo did not serve a life sentence in the name of local traditions.
Izzo is now free from fear and is no longer given a tanoo (insult) by the villagers for being promised as compensation. She has the love and protection of her parents who refused to hand her over as compensation.
She continues to learn new embroidery motifs from her mother. She has embroidered a pillow cover for her cousin Sheeno.

*The names of the girls mentioned in this story have been changed so as to protect their identity

---

http://www.unwomen.org/2013/02/aboli...against-women/

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April is Child Abuse Awareness month. Child Abuse can be prevented! Parents need the opportunity to learn about child development network and other parents, talk about the challenges and struggles of raising children and have the tools and resources available to them to succeed.

As we are all know, we are creating awareness about the prevention of abuse by providing REAL FACTS. The WHO, WHERE, WHERE, WHEN and WHY abuse occurs and stopping it before it ever starts.

Prevention is the best hope for reducing child abuse and neglect; improving the lives of children and families. Strengthening families and preventing child abuse requires a shared commitment of individuals and organizations in every community.

As parents, our instincts is to protect, nurture and love our children. It is beyond comprehension that any parent being mother and father could ever have thought hurting their own child. We all get angry and wonder whether enough is being done about this.

Can we help? Can we save these children from a life so full of pain and give them back their childhood at least whatever is left of it? We don't know of any other way to help but to be informed and raise awareness because in doing so, it is our hope that it will make a difference in the live of a child.

For this reason, we must come together to recognize that protecting our children starts with us. We mourn with those who have lost their loved children due to child sexual abuse, neglect or abandonment; we celebrate those who survived it and we encourage those who work to end it.



By ED...SOTHAWACA

[emj]

THE NEED TO BE SENSITIVE, CARING AND PROACTIVE

It never ceases to amaze me that when very serious issues are brought up to be discussed, some people, rather than address the issue counter it with the opposite, thereby diverting the thrust of the discussion.

We are all aware of the seriousness of acts against the women folk - violence (some leading to serious injuries or death), gang rape of young girls by men, sometimes 6 or more at once leading to severe physical and emotional trauma, deadly health issues - sometimes leading to death.
One need to understand the biology of the vagina to know that it is lined with blood vessels and damage by severe friction has dire consequences to the female - burst blood vessels, damaged tissue that connects to the nervous system and could shut down whole system of the woman being raped!! Why would anyone applaud that? Now they, with glee, record the act and pass it around.
People see these videos and rather than be concerned about source, they pass it around as a news item and nothing is done. Yet if voices are raised and video upload traced by those who have the know-how, we can trace the number and take action.

Men throw women out of the house, with the kids, because of unresolved conflict and take another woman into the home - whilst not caring how his wife of many years is functioning and most importantly, the kids. What manner of men are these?
Women are not shirts that can be discarded and changed at will.....They are human beings and the mother of your kids.
If there are unresolved issues there are ways of going about it in a humane manner. What kind of attitude are you showing the kids? That unkindness and thoughtlessness is permissible? Women go through abuse of every kind that reduces their ability to function or exist as she should. Exposing her to search for ways to exist, with the kids. Then 'men' again, take advantage of her vulnerability.

To be able to fight this twin pandemic, we need the cooperation of men to SAY No...that real men don't resort to violence, abuse or rape. But what happens most times? We find men who make light of the situation and say 'women also abuse men', (as was the topic in a video clip 'two angry men') or 'she deserved it' or 'women are stubborn' etc., I make bold to say that NO-ONE deserves to be treated worse than an animal.

There is a time to joke and a time for debate. This issue of violence and abuse is not a light one at all. It is so serious that a whole world conference in New York CSW 57 that held in March had the theme: "Eliminating Violence against Women and Girls".
It affects the society, the family, the nation and the workplace - millions are lost in workplace downtime and medical bills due to women dealing with violence from their spouses.

A caring man on FB said some time ago in response to another man's insensitive remark that men get abused - "I don't think anybody wants to deny that women abuse men, but we have to objectively look at domestic violence and agree that men, most times, are the abusers."

Yes, we agree that women can also be abusers, but what is the ratio? Who the real perpetuators of all the actions stated above? MEN!!! That is why the fight against elimination of violence and abuse against women and girls cannot be readily be eradicated without the cooperation of MEN & BOYS!
Parents must daily train their boy child about treating women with respect and dignity. A woman you call 'bad' or use derogatory words for them, wasn't born like that. She was someone's darling little girl until a man touched her life in a wrong way and she changed totally. Same specie now deride her at will.

This is a clarion call for men who have daughters (those who are not abusing their daughters), who have women folk they love in their families, and friends, to rise up and lend their voices to this twin pandemic that is eating into our society!!
Don't make light of the issues or turn into jokes...it is a serious issue that affects generations.
There is no reason whatsoever for violence and abuse against women and girls.

Join us to RING THE BELL at all times and denounce these acts by action.
Join us in asking for stricter measures against men who bring disgrace to manhood by these actions.
If anyone reading this is an abuser and has anger management issues, you can get in touch.
Nothing to be ashamed of, it might not be your fault but some dysfunction in your childhood.
We also work with women who take undue advantage of a small percentage of men.

Thank you

Laila St. Matthew-Daniel
Emotion Therapist/Psychologist

[emj]

NEWS

Photo: Husband allegedly slits wife's throat in their home(viewer discretion)



http://gistpage.com.ng/?p=9353


Endurance Ajisegiri's family got a call on Sunday April 14th from her husband, Isaac Ajisegiri, informing them that she had died at their home in the Shasha area of Lagos the previous day and he had taken her corpse to the mortuary. Endurance's family immediately called the police.
So here's what happened according to friends of the late woman. Endurance (pictured above) and Isaac were married for four years and had one child together. They also ran a business together, an education consulting firm. Sometime last year, Endurance found out that her husband was having an affair with one of their employees and this caused serious problems between them. Endurance eventually moved out of her matrimonial home with her 2 year old daughter.
On Saturday morning April 13th, Isaac's friend, a guy named Stanley came to pick Endurance from her office, saying that her in-laws (mother-in-law and sister-in-law) were waiting for her at her husband's house and wanted to resolve some issues with her. Endurance went with Stanley.
The following day, her corpse was deposited at Crystal Hospital by Isaac. Her throat had been slit with a knife from inside her kitchen. Isaac told police that endurance killed herself with the knife after a serious argument. Isaac, his mother and sister (who slept in the house that night) are now in police custody. Stanley is no where to be found. The case is being handled by the Homicide Department of the State Criminal Investigation Department.

[M. Akosa]

NEWS

Photo: Husband allegedly slits wife's throat in their home(viewer discretion)



http://gistpage.com.ng/?p=9353


Endurance Ajisegiri's family got a call on Sunday April 14th from her husband, Isaac Ajisegiri, informing them that she had died at their home in the Shasha area of Lagos the previous day and he had taken her corpse to the mortuary. Endurance's family immediately called the police.
So here's what happened according to friends of the late woman. Endurance (pictured above) and Isaac were married for four years and had one child together. They also ran a business together, an education consulting firm. Sometime last year, Endurance found out that her husband was having an affair with one of their employees and this caused serious problems between them. Endurance eventually moved out of her matrimonial home with her 2 year old daughter.
On Saturday morning April 13th, Isaac's friend, a guy named Stanley came to pick Endurance from her office, saying that her in-laws (mother-in-law and sister-in-law) were waiting for her at her husband's house and wanted to resolve some issues with her. Endurance went with Stanley.
The following day, her corpse was deposited at Crystal Hospital by Isaac. Her throat had been slit with a knife from inside her kitchen. Isaac told police that endurance killed herself with the knife after a serious argument. Isaac, his mother and sister (who slept in the house that night) are now in police custody. Stanley is no where to be found. The case is being handled by the Homicide Department of the State Criminal Investigation Department.

Lagos: Husband, mother-in-law arrested for wife's murder
http://http://odili.net/news/source/2013/apr/17/827.html


The Lagos State Police Command has arrested a 31-year-old man, Isaac Ajisegiri, for the alleged murder of his wife, Endurance.

PUNCH Metro learnt that Endurance was killed at her home located at 1 Ajani Salawu Street, Shasha, Lagos, on Saturday.



Police authorities said she was slit in the throat with a knife in her kitchen.

The victim's brother, Caleb Agbobonye, told our correspondent that the marriage was fraught with problems before the couple reconciled recently.

He said, "They have been married for about four years and they had a child together. They also run an education consulting firm not too far from their house.

"Problem started after Isaac was accused of having an affair with one of their employees. They fought over the issue for quite some time. She even moved out of the house but they later reconciled.

"On Saturday, one Stanley, who happens to be Isaac's friend, came to pick her (Endurance) from the office, saying her husband's family were waiting for her at the house to resolve a dispute."

Agbobonye said on Sunday morning, Stanley called Endurance's relatives informing them that she was dead and that her body had been taken to Crystal Hospital.

Our correspondent, who visited the couple's home, learnt that the matter was reported at Shasha Police Division on Sunday.

Some neighbours said on the condition of anonymity reported the case to the police.

Asked if the couple had a history of domestic violence, one of the neighbours said, "There are four flats in this compound and we all mind our own business.

"We don't know if they fight. All we know is that we saw the family carrying her corpse and we observed that her neck was slit so we went to report at the police station."

At the station, policemen on duty said the matter had been transferred to the State Criminal Investigation Department, Yaba.

When our correspondent visited the Homicide Department of the SCID, the suspects were seen writing statements.

Isaac however told PUNCH Metro that his wife killed herself with the knife.

The indigene of Kogi State said on the day of the incident, she was acting crazy and would not listen to pleas from the family.

Esther and Florence however did not speak as they looked dumbfounded.

Police sources told our correspondent that investigations were ongoing, adding that Stanley was at large.

Director, Project Alert on Violence Against Women, Dr. Josephine Effah-Chukwumah, told our correspondent that her agency had taken up the case.

Effah-Chukwumah lamented that violent crime being perpetuated against women had risen in recent times and said it was time people were more involved in fighting the menace.

She said, "Marriage is not a do-or-die affair. Anyone who is in an abusive relationship should feel free to walk out. The neighbours and the police also need to be more involved in this battle so that we can prevent deaths or harm to people.

RIP to this first wife !
Or is it the 2nd wife or 3rd, 4 or whatever status she will claiming now in death as result of bad marriage ???
Because the Nigerian women likes to claim marriage titles !

It is really mind boggling to understand that despite their higher levels of education and the status of most young Nigerian women now as post secondary school graduates and therefore they should be more empowered to have the self awareness and capacity to know of their situation, yet such abuse and violence from marriage is still permissive very widely in the country ???

Parents also need to look into this serious social problem and scourge that is harming their female children and the girls badly!!!
Why are many women still being seriously destroyed, damaged, or even killed off in such a way like this, just because of their relationship and association to a marriage that is clearly very bad, or have just become deadly manipulative, harmful and very treacherous for the woman???

[emj]

RIP to this first wife !
Or is it the 2nd wife or 3rd, 4 or whatever status she will claiming now in death as result of bad marriage ???
Because the Nigerian women likes to claim marriage titles !

It is really mind boggling to understand that despite their higher levels of education and the status of most young Nigerian women now as post secondary school graduates and therefore they should be more empowered to have the self awareness and capacity to know of their situation, yet such abuse and violence from marriage is still permissive very widely in the country ???

Parents also need to look into this serious social problem and scourge that is harming their female children and the girls badly!!!
Why are many women still being seriously destroyed, damaged, or even killed off in such a way like this, just because of their relationship and association to a marriage that is clearly very bad, or have just become deadly manipulative, harmful and very treacherous for the woman???

A woman is dead and an investigation is ongoing...........and you are wondering amongst other things about status?


Sighs.....

[emj]

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/04/s...y-lagos-court/

S-H-O-C-K-E-R: Rape victim remanded, suspect granted bail by Lagos court

on APRIL 20, 2013 · in CRIME GUARD



By ONOZURE DANIA

A Lagos-based couple, two weeks ago, got what they did not bargain for when an Ikeja Magistrate's Court ordered the remand of their 7-year- old ward (name withheld) at the Child Correctional Center, Yaba, while the only suspect in police custody was granted bail.

The victim was allegedly raped several times by three men: Kassim Mohammed, 43, Oluwatobi Daramola and James Aniekan.

The Magistrate, Mrs E. B Daudu of an Ikeja Magistrate court granted the application of the police prosecutor identified as Anthonia for the rape victim to be remanded in the Child Correctional Center because her guardians could not take proper care of her, which made her vulnerable to sexual assault.

The Magistrate however, released one of the suspects, Tobi, on bail. It took the kind intervention of the Deputy Chief Registrar of the Lagos High Court, Mr A.O. Isaacs for the Magistrate to temper justice with mercy by releasing the victim to her guardians after spending nearly the whole day at the correctional center.

According to the little girl, the police prosecutor, Anthonia, whom she described as the 'fat woman' accompanied her to the remand home and threatened that her people would not see her again. The little girl said that she was shown a cell with no windows at the Correctional Centre, and she was threatened that she would be locked there for five days.


Mohammed, Daramola and Aniekan were said to have allegedly defiled the little girl serially between July 2012 and January 2013. Daramola and Aniekan, were said to be about 21 and 19 years old respectively although, they claimed to be 17.

The victim's ordeal in the hands of the suspects, started when she was only 6 years old.
Two of the suspects, Daramola and Aniekan were arraigned at a magistrate's court in Lagos for alleged defilement.
The arraignment of Daramola, was held weeks before that of Aniekan. Tobi was arraigned on a one- count charge of unlawful sexual intercourse with the hapless little girl.

The charge sheet reads; "That you Daramola Oluwatobi 'm' between July 2012 and January 13, 2013 at Idowu Egba, Ikotun, Lagos in Lagos Magisterial District had sexual intercourse with one girl "f" aged 7 years and thereby committed an offense punishable under section 137 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State of Nigeria, 2011."


The victim who lives with her aunt and her husband at 2, Oladipo Close, off Lawani Ogunle Street, Greenland Estate, Isheri area of Lagos, narrated what she had suffered in the hands of the men.
"My uncle (her aunt's husband) and I were going to the shop. Tobi saw us. He then greeted my uncle. I also greeted him.
The next day, my uncle told me to stay at home, eat and do my home work. My uncle said he would be back at home very soon that he wanted to go and collect money from his shop.
"When I went downstairs to buy biscuit, Tobi saw me. He greeted me and said, "Fine girl, how are you?' I said 'fine." He asked if he could buy me anything and he bought gala and a bottle of coca-cola. He then asked me to show him our house, which I did and later when I was in bed and about to sleep, Tobi came into our house. He played football with me and left.

"The next day, Tobi, James and one small boy came. They put their fingers inside my bum-bum (that is they thrust their fingers into her private part).
The next day, Tobi and James came again without the small boy. They now put their wee-wee(penis) inside my bum-bum(private part). Another day again Tobi came with Kassim, Kassim was holding a knife and a pack of Five-Alive and gala.
"Tobi left but Kassim used his wee-wee on me. He said that if I shout he would kill me with the knife.
When Kassim had finished, he said I should show him my bathroom. I showed him and he bathed. After bathing, he said I should bring a glass cup. He shared the five-alive. He gave me four rolls of gala while he took two. He told me to throw the empty pack of five-alive into the dustbin. Kassim left after he had made sure that I discarded the empty pack of the juice into the dustbin."


The victim who has gotten used to being violated sexually every day was relieved temporarily as she escaped being abused the next day by the suspects, as she went on holiday. "The next day, I did not see Kassim because I went to my aunt's sister's place at Igando on holiday."

It was however a temporary relief for her because the sexual assault continued when she came back from the holiday.
"When I came back from aunt's sister's place. I was sent on errand by my aunt. On my way, I met Kassim who asked after my uncle and aunt. I told him they were around. Kassim now said that I should enter his house.
The next day I wanted to go and buy biscuit for Chibuike my little brother (the aunt's son), Tobi saw me and asked that I should follow him to his house. He threatened that if I refused, he would make sure I got lost and so would not see my parents again.
"I followed him out of fear while carrying my two-year old cousin along. Tobi defiled me once again using his male sex organ. When he finished, he told me to go and bathe in his bathroom, but I left with my brother to buy the biscuit.
My aunt asked me why I came back late. I told her that there were many people that wanted to buy things from the Mallam (the man selling provisions). I did not report all these things to my aunt and her husband because Kassim threatened to deal with me if I mentioned his name."


Narrating her own side of the story, the victim's aunt simply called, Ngozi, said when the ordeal of her little niece started, she was in Abuja where she went to give birth. She said she was in Abuja between June and August last year, and even had to return to Abuja for medical attention because she developed complications after she had given birth through Cesarian operation.
While she was away, she said the victim was left in the care of her husband and a cousin.
She said it was in January this year, while she was going through the little girl's clothes that she discovered that two of the little girl's under wears had blood stains, then she suspected that something was amiss. She then persuaded her neice until she told her about James who worked in a barber's shop nearby.
She said the little girl also told her that James defiled her and threatened to deal with her if she revealed what he had done to her.
She said, "Immediately, I called my pastor and told him what happened. He called one of the members of our church who is a policewoman. The woman said I had to come down to Ikotun Police Station to officially report." After the police had interviewed the girl, they got James arrested.
The father of James was trying to defend his son that he could not have defiled the girl since he, the father, is a pastor. However, James was detained and arraigned before an Ikeja Magistrate's Court, where he was granted bail.
According to Ngozi, James confessed that he did it. He, according to her, even wrote a confessional statement at the police station. But James's father allegedly maintained that he made the statement under duress.

Unfortunately, while this was going on, her guardians did not know that she had been raped several times by more than one person. "It was two weeks later that we discovered that there were others.
I heard my two-year old son ordering the girl to lie down in bed. I wondered how a two-year old boy could talk like that. So, I asked her where the boy learnt that.
"She was just staring at me. I insisted that she answers me. It was then she told me it was one Tobi that said that to her and that the little boy was present when he did that. I started shouting and asked if the boy was watching as Tobi defiled her. She said yes that Tobi ordered him to look at the dressing mirror in his room, she told me about Tobi and Kassim."

However, Ngozi said the police were reluctant to arrest the suspects stating that Tobi's parents went as far as alleging that she wanted to extort money from them while Kassim's wife claimed that her husband was not in Lagos.

According to Ngozi, the police were no longer working in our interest even when Tobi was arraigned before a Magistrate's Court presided over by Mrs. E. B Daudu. She said what really galled her and her husband was when the police prosecutor identified as Anthonia who was supposed to be working in her interest, made an application for the rape victim to be remanded in the Child Correctional Center at Yaba.
The prosecutor claimed that the application was necessary because the guardians could not take proper care of her. This, she said was what made her vulnerable to sexual assault.
To the chagrin of the plaintiffs, Mrs. Daodu granted the application while she released Tobi on bail.

Meanwhile, the family of the victim who no longer has any trust in the ability of the police to prosecute the three suspects is making efforts to get the Lagos State Government to take over the case from the police.