Why Single Women Chase After Married Men

As any single woman will tell you, all the good men are taken.
But that makes them all the more attractive, apparently.
Research shows that single women view married men as better catches than bachelors.
The fact that they already have someone's seal of approval adds to their desirability

The U.S. researchers showed 100 single and married female university students pictures of the same man and asked them how attractive they found him and whether they would try to start a romance with him.

In each case, the labelling on the photo had been tailored to suit what the volunteer liked in a man.
In addition, sometimes the man was described as single and other times he was said to be attached.

A group of men did the same with a picture of a woman.
The Oklahoma State University study found that the single men were most drawn to the woman when they thought she was single - but the reverse was true for the unattached women.

They, it transpired, had set their sights on the 'married' man. Four times as many of them were interested in him when they thought he was attached, as were keen on him as a singleton.

In contrast, married women were far more interested in the single man - suggesting they either respected the bonds of wedlock more, or yearned for a free spirit.
Writing in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the researchers said: 'Single women in this study were significantly more interested in the man when he was attached.

'This may be because an attached man has demonstrated his ability to commit and in some ways his qualities have already been "pre-screened" by another woman.'
But men do not necessarily have the moral high ground.
Previous research has found that a man is more likely to try to lure a woman out of a relationship than a woman is to try to poach a married man.

The study also found that up to one in five longterm relationships begin when one or both partners are involved with someone else.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#ixzz0OA82aUR9

Do single women really say this? and are all the good men really taken?. This's news to me lol. Some interesting summations here though particularly the bolded part. Ummm!!! what ya'll think?

[lateesha]

I need to work harder then

[mulan]

They should do this research in Nigeria, then the results may be closer to what I might consider...

[shinycoin]

hhmm, Valteena, am surprised you're asking if married women really say this.

It only proves what i already knew from a first hand experience.

i was in Niaja for the most part of 2007 and being single, i went to town to sow my wild oats, as any single man would do in my shoes.

My friend Ade accompanied me on most of my escapades and even though he was married with his wedding ring gleaming proudly on his fingers, most of the women we chased were as attracted to him as they were to me.

more often than not, when we meet one lady, she would be willing to bring her friend along for the fun and games, and everyone knew the deal was just a one time thing, nothing permanent or steady.

hhmm, when i raised eye brows and asked my friend about his marital vows and suggested maybe he removes his ring so he doesn't spoil "business" for us, Ade was appalled, saying he noticed that the women seemed particularly attracted to him because they see he was married and felt safer and comfortable with him because of that fact.

Its not just Ade o, several of my close friends now married, say they have more opportunities to "score" with women now that they're married than they ever did in their bachelor days and were even encouraging me to hurry up and get married, i will have a larger field of women to choose from as a married man than now that am single.

i cannot explain the attraction of women to married men, maybe its the danger or mischief of poaching another woman's man that gives them the thrill, but its a fact of life that is glaring and it takes more than self control for these men to say no.

it takes the grace of God.

[Balo]

Maybe it was because Ade was finer and more charming than you??

[shinycoin]

Originally Posted by Balo

Maybe it was because Ade was finer and more charming than you??

my broda. that is a strong possibility jare, the bobo did actually look good,

But that is not the koko of the story o, the koko was that he was married and women still swoon for him, knowing full well he was married and there was nothing for them there, they still go out with him, sleep with him and look forward to the next encounter.

me sef i benefit from the escapades o

[valteena]

Originally Posted by shinycoin

hhmm, Valteena, am surprised you're asking if married women really say this.

It only proves what i already knew from a first hand experience.

i was in Niaja for the most part of 2007 and being single, i went to town to sow my wild oats, as any single man would do in my shoes.

My friend Ade accompanied me on most of my escapades and even though he was married with his wedding ring gleaming proudly on his fingers, most of the women we chased were as attracted to him as they were to me.

more often than not, when we meet one lady, she would be willing to bring her friend along for the fun and games, and everyone knew the deal was just a one time thing, nothing permanent or steady.

hhmm, when i raised eye brows and asked my friend about his marital vows and suggested maybe he removes his ring so he doesn't spoil "business" for us, Ade was appalled, saying he noticed that the women seemed particularly attracted to him because they see he was married and felt safer and comfortable with him because of that fact.

Its not just Ade o, several of my close friends now married, say they have more opportunities to "score" with women now that they're married than they ever did in their bachelor days and were even encouraging me to hurry up and get married, i will have a larger field of women to choose from as a married man than now that am single.

i cannot explain the attraction of women to married men, maybe its the danger or mischief of poaching another woman's man that gives them the thrill, but its a fact of life that is glaring and it takes more than self control for these men to say no.

it takes the grace of God.

This is really interesting Shiny. I mean the research's finding and your agreement with it. I still don't get it though what's the sense in a single lady prefering a married man that is most likely to be out of her reach for any serious commitment to a single man. Unless like you said it is just for the thrill or the human factor of hankering after what we can't have.

[shinycoin]

Originally Posted by valteena

This is really interesting Shiny. I mean the research's finding and your agreement with it. I still don't get it though what's the sense in a single lady prefering a married man that is most likely to be out of her reach for any serious commitment to a single man. Unless like you said it is just for the thrill or the human factor of hankering after what we can't have.

well, i asked one of the ladies what she hopes to get from the relationship, and she gave me a straight look and answered that she wouldn't mind being a second wife

oops! i quickly told my friend the outcome of this dialogue and you can believe the young man Ben Johnsoned and never returned to that woman again, but i happen to know he still does his back yard business, because he was transferred outside Lagos, away from his wife's scrutiny, so that one na na awoof for him.

Ade assures me he loves his wife o, just like my other friendd all agreed they would never want to hurt their wives, but they all concurred the temptation was just too much to resist... the ladies come without effort.

[Balo]

No be say I wan yap but I do find it interesting when 9ja men talk about grabbing action in 9ja cos I know fully well that even if na one arm wey you get for this country as long as you carry for pocket small you go get am for plenty action. Sorry but bragging about getting laid in 9ja is a joke o.

But I digress a bit from the topic at hand sha.

[shinycoin]

Originally Posted by Balo

No be say I wan yap but I do find it interesting when 9ja men talk about grabbing action in 9ja cos I know fully well that even if na one arm wey you get for this country as long as you carry for pocket small you go get am for plenty action. Sorry but bragging about getting laid in 9ja is a joke o.

But I digress a bit from the topic at hand sha.

Balo, are you saying naija women are cheap?

[valteena]

Originally Posted by shinycoin

well, i asked one of the ladies what she hopes to get from the relationship, and she gave me a straight look and answered that she wouldn't mind being a second wife

I guess that is another plausible explanation lol which goes to show that such women actually know what they're doing or want and know how to go about getting it. Just goes to confirm the saying that "Women are like the sun, which is violently carried one way yet hath a proper course" contrary"

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by shinycoin

Balo, are you saying naija women are cheap?

Sad to say but the answer is yes!
I was home one Christmas and my single brother in law was home too.
If you see the number of women that came to audition?
I wept for our women.

This my in law sampled women from morning till night.
They were coming ,day in day out all hoping to be picked
giving money to the little nieces and nephews as Christmas gift
eventually when this man was ready to marry, he didn't marry any of them.

I know girls in the University that were professional call girls that got paid to service businessmen on trips.They would return on Sunday night and unashamedly count their naira and talk about how much they made.
That was in the 90's, it's even worse now.
My cousin who is an obgyn tells me that the number of ectopic pregnancies amongst the young girls is unbelievable.
So many of these girls that people are rushing home to marry have no fallopian tubes.
Some have aborted and aborted and aborted all the offspring rations that God allocated to them.

[Balo]

You wan put son of man for NVS trouble. No I am not saying all are but I do know most are very very cheap. My brother I have partied in many western countires but it is only in 9ja that I neva had to put on any dance steps or pose at all, you just stand by your corner and call them over and they will in their numbers. It really is quite sad. Even my guys when they come back from 9ja know beta than to boast about getting laid in 9ja anymore, na a dime a dozen for that side.

And the reason na pure economics - nothing more, Cos those same 9ja girls once dem cross the sea come obodo land - the work becomes a lot more - if you catch me drift.

[Balo]

And na because of some of these reasons amongst many others that I fail to understand why our men in Jand choose to go pick up wives from back home - thinking they got themselves some trophy. Quite sad really!

[shinycoin]

Originally Posted by Balo

And na because of some of these reasons amongst many others that I fail to understand why our men in Jand choose to go pick up wives from back home - thinking they got themselves some trophy. Quite sad really!

hhmm, my broda, thats too broad a generalisation o! me think you're using too wide a brush to paint every woman black in naija.

i happen to know there are some really good women there who neither need your money nor your visa for them to join you in your "jand".

Naija women are no different from women anywhere in the world, so calling them cheap in any form is a great diservice and insult to them.

more women than men these days are in universities, and it seems more banks, IT firms, Telecomm firms and many others are employing women more than men and paying them fantastic salaries so they can afford holiday vacations anywhere in the world these days.

some of ther newest cars in town are owned by women, bought with hard earned money o, and Nigerian women are holding their own anywhere in the world, so why would a guy not go to Nigeria to pick a wife if he so chooses?

abeg, leave our naija women alone, they have enough to contend with and don't need the bad name you seem too eager to give them...

abi one naija babe don break ya heart?

[shinycoin]

Originally Posted by lateesha

Sad to say but the answer is yes!
I was home one Christmas and my single brother in law was home too.
If you see the number of women that came to audition?
I wept for our women.

This my in law sampled women from morning till night.
They were coming ,day in day out all hoping to be picked
giving money to the little nieces and nephews as Christmas gift
eventually when this man was ready to marry, he didn't marry any of them.

I know girls in the University that were professional call girls that got paid to service businessmen on trips.They would return on Sunday night and unashamedly count their naira and talk about how much they made.
That was in the 90's, it's even worse now.
My cousin who is an obgyn tells me that the number of ectopic pregnancies amongst the young girls is unbelievable.
So many of these girls that people are rushing home to marry have no fallopian tubes.
Some have aborted and aborted and aborted all the offspring rations that God allocated to them.

hhmm Lateesha, you sef!

how are naija girls different from the girls in the US? or the teen age girls in the UK?

don't we know the teen aged pregnancy rate in these countries?

don't girls in these countries give themselves to guys cheaply? whether for auditioning or watefer?

abeg, our naija girls are no different from girls anywhere.
women sleep with married women in naija just as much as anywhere else and that does not in anyway make them worse than their counterparts in the west.

it's not a cultural thing, or a poverty thing, or a class thing or a race thing, its just what some women do. you need to come to my city and see what young asian girls do with themselves, even Jamaican girls here.

sleeping around is not confined to our naija girls and am sure that your in-law will do the same thing to girls anywhere he finds himself, all he needs is sweet mouth and confidence in his raps!

[Anthonia]

I think i agree with Mr. Shinycoin.
Nigerian girls/women are not cheap.

[Balo]

Shiny nothing like that o! 9ja girls in 9ja is what i am talking about. and like i bin talk not all of dem.

[liloldlady]

Originally Posted by shinycoin

Balo, are you saying naija women are cheap?

You did not know?

My Bros.........Money for hand
Back for ground.

You can lay a lot of fine fine Naija gals from Morning till morning.....so long as you have your Kudi.

Pulling in Nigeria, is like taking candy, off a kid....requires no effort lai lai.

[rina]

Originally Posted by shinycoin

my broda. that is a strong possibility jare, the bobo did actually look good,

But that is not the koko of the story o, the koko was that he was married and women still swoon for him, knowing full well he was married and there was nothing for them there, they still go out with him, sleep with him and look forward to the next encounter.

me sef i benefit from the escapades o

Bad Boy!!!! so na wetin you come do for naija be that Shiny, AIDS plenti for town o. seriously speaking i do not think so. For me as a single lady i refuse to go after married men, cos the bible clearly states, marriage is honorable. I suffice some of these married guys feel becos they have good rapour with single ladies they think in their heads 'Hmmm!! she likes me'. which sometimes it not true.