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View Full Version : [Jokes & Odds] Dont let your faith kill you, biko!



agensheku
Jun 3, 2012, 11:43 AM
A pentecostal pastor in West Virginia died last monday after he was bitten by a rattlesnake he was handling as a demonstration of faith during an outdoor service.

Pastor Mark Wolford of the Apostolic House of the Lord Jesus had invoked Mark 16: "In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them.":p;)

ABC News reports that several years ago, Wolford watched his father also get bitten and killed by a snake during a similar faith demonstration. Wolford said he had to keep up the practice as a matter of faith!:confused1

NOTE: "Ooooooshakarapapapopah!":lol: No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper! I dey go try my luck on the Expressway and face a 120km/hour Luxury bus! No beg me o, ehen!:D:p. I dey go come! Agens

agensheku
Jun 3, 2012, 12:10 PM
My fellow Villagers,

Make I yearn you a couple more "faith stories" o, make you take chop fried rice after returning from church. (Warning: Do Not read if you are drinking water or beer as I no go accept liability o!)

One day, I took a visiting expatriate friend from the UK to an Egungun festival. There was dancing, the masqurades aids were drinking kaikai and getting high. Once in a while, to show their faith in their juju, one of the aids would fire the dane gun directly at the masqurade and that one would catch the pellets and throw them away!

Amazed, my Oyinbo pal brought out a small Berreta pistol! Immediately the Masqurade saw it, he told his aids:

"Karimu...e maje Oyinbo O yinbon o! Ibon Oyinbo o lero o!"

( Translation: Karimu...dont allow that white man to shoot me o, dem gun no get remedy!") :D

*********

The second one also involved an Egungun (masqurade). He had been dancing to drumming, running up and down. Suddenly, he jumped up and on his way down, did not notice a broken bottle, so he landed heavily on it and his foot began bleeding profusely.

His dancing reduced and because his aids were collecting cash gifts did not notice his plight...instead, they asked him to dance harder. So, he whispered into the ears of an aid:

Masqurade: I am injured and bleeding heavily in my foot!

Salawu: Make you manage now!:(

Masqurade: Manage wetin, I say I wan faint, you say make I manage, if you dont rush me straight to General Hospital now, I go commot these rags o!:lol:

Salawu: Ah, dont spoil show for us o! We go find taxi now!