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First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 12:22 AM
You've got to understand how his head works - which by the way, is not the same way yours does.
I started out writing this article as a comparison between training your man and training your puppy. Then I realized that even though I don't mean it that way, there is no possible way to make that comparison without someone, or almost everyone thinking I'm comparing men to dogs or insinuating men are stupid.
They aren't. For the record, I think men are way smarter then most women give them credit for. I also think the thing men and dogs have most in common is a very high code of loyalty.:lol:

That said, Man Training 101 is still not unlike Puppy School. In Puppy School you get trained up as a human on how to think like your beloved puppy and act appropriately as an alpha pack mate. If you're going to train your man to treat you the way you'd like to be treated, the same thing applies. You've got to understand how his head works - which by the way, is not the same way a woman's head works.

So, here are the first five steps to training your man.


1. Ignore bad behavior. Don't make a fuss. Ignore the bad behavior and ignore him too. A man's brain is not programmed to listen to a woman carry on about what he's done wrong. We know from experience men mostly tune that out. What he is programmed to notice is your absence. So, if he messes up and all of the sudden you aren't around for awhile, that will get his attention. Sometimes awhile means a few minutes, sometimes much longer. After reappearing on his radar you get the opportunity to let him know, he did xyz and you won't be hanging around for that in the future either.


2. Catch your man doing something, anything right, and reward and praise, reward and praise, reward and praise. Seriously, men are wired to want to please. The best way to train a man to please you is by making a big freakin deal out of it when it happens. Treats in all forms are appreciated. The more praise the more good behavior.


3. Use fewer words. When you're trying to train a man to do something or stop doing something, tell him what you'd like him to be doing, in as few words as possible. Don't go on to explain yourself unless he asks for an explanation. If he messes up again, repeat the very same few words again. Repetition is key. Don't get pissed. Don't raise your voice. Calmly tell him what you'd like him to do, in fewer words then you'd normally want to use. Be prepared to be patient and don't expect him to be a mind reader. He isn't.


4. A chased dog always runs. We all had the miserable experience of a dog gone loose and having to chase after a dog we aren't going to catch, praying for mercy or a miracle. The same applies to men. You have to get out in front of them or persuade them to come to you because you have something they don't have and they want. Men need breathing room and if they don't get enough training will fail. You've got to keep them guessing to keep them wanting more.


5. Don't get a man if you don't have the time to devote to training. Obviously some men require more training and others less. However, all women are different, so no matter what, he's going to need to learn how you want to be treated. If you don't have the time or energy to invest in a relationship, don't hop in haphazardly. You won't get the behavior you want or the love you're looking for.
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lisa-hayes/how-training-man-and-training-puppy-arent-different/page/2






This is a great article
Indeed....

First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 12:51 AM
No 3 works like magic
Just few words
Once you say it with more than a sentence or two,they call it nagging and automatically they shut you off,and you will be talking to yourself.:D

Example of how it works

You call him at work
"Okonkwo please can you get a gallon of milk on your way back from work"
That's all you say
Okonkwo may say,please can you go get it,I am not going that way
The natural thing is to answer,Biko get the milk na haba,there is no milk for breakfast tomorrow,what is the big deal stopping at any gas station to pick up milk ,are you not going to drink it too
But once you say it,he will never get that milk,if he is Nigerian.

You just say

Chai,I was really counting on you helping me with this, bikozia Nna a
Then he responds
I am swarmed,I am not even coming back in the next 2 hours
U just say ok n gwanu jisie Ike
Then he will be shocked and respond
I will try but don't count on it

Bingo!!!;)
You have got him at sikky one:D

I bet you,he will have a gallon of milk when he walks through the door;)

We gat to train them wellu wellu
Just giving out tips to the younger generation of women
It is not an easy job but it can be done:lol:

First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 01:41 AM
2. Catch your man doing something, anything right, and reward and praise, reward and praise, reward and praise. Seriously, men are wired to want to please. The best way to train a man to please you is by making a big freakin deal out of it when it happens. Treats in all forms are appreciated. The more praise the more good behavior.

Tell me abourrit
All men love to be praised
You can never over praise them
He gets ready to attend that important meeting,he steps out of the closet ,you sit up on the bed
You are like

Chai Okonkwo,is that a new suit.
The thing fits you well well
This is just your color
Perfect with those shoes too
My own personal Obama:o
Looking chopable as usual

The man will be grinning from ear to ear:o

You have got him and you haven't even started o :embarassed::o

Then you add,come closer sef let me look at that tie,then he comes;)
And then you continue
" that tie di egwu,power tie,where did u buy it again"
He says macy's
Nna you are looking smashing ,you add,Biko let them not snatch you o
He chuckles;)

You have laid the groundwork for that necklace:cool.png::smile:

Training 101

First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 01:43 AM
Double post:o

Precy
Mar 24, 2012, 07:01 PM
I don't think it's possible to actually ''train a man,'' rather you tolerate them. Everyone wants to be tolerated...that's what I think...:o

First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 07:31 PM
I don't think it's possible to actually ''train a man,'' rather you tolerate them. Everyone wants to be tolerated...that's what I think...:o

Lol
Any man who is sincere will agree with me
They can all be trained
I have told a story once or twice how we went to visit this guy that was married to an American and as we walked in,our brother was wearing and apron and baking
I couldn't believe my eyes
The wife sat with us and was gisting while the man Was going back and forth in the kitchen:lol:
Before I knew it,our brother appeared with bowls of fish pepper soup serving the guests:eek:
I was like eziokwu
A full blooded igboman serving his guests pepper soup
How did this woman achieve this noble feat:D
Isn't that a man that has been well trained:embarassed:
Do you think he will do that if he was married to a Nigerian woman?
Everyman especially our Nigerian men need some degree of training in order for the marriage to be flowing
If u marry and keep them raw like that,you will hear nwii
Just use common sense and train them to your taste :o:D
Of course I am not saying a woman should dominate her man but you can use commonsense and modify his African machoness to a tolerable state
Haven't u heard of men bringing their wives breakfast in bed,do u think they are born that way,they learned it by training:D
It is not easy,but every wise woman married for any appreciable length of time has definitely done some training along the line
:cool.png::cool.png::cool.png:

shinycoin
Mar 24, 2012, 07:46 PM
Hmmm, na wa.

Your man has become a dog abi?

Why not blow your whistle and call him "bingo, bingo" or maybe "whisky whisky", and he'll come wagging his tail and expecting a treat!!!

All these single, post menopausal women with their under utilized and over pampered whachammacallit sef!!!

First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 07:48 PM
Muhehehehehehehehehe!!!!
Shiny you sef
Talk true

First-lady
Mar 24, 2012, 08:07 PM
5. Don't get a man if you don't have the time to devote to training. Obviously some men require more training and others less. However, all women are different, so no matter what, he's going to need to learn how you want to be treated. If you don't have the time or energy to invest in a relationship, don't hop in haphazardly. You won't get the behavior you want or the love you're looking for.

Gbam!
This is another reason why many women who have been married for a while don't see themselves re marrying for any reason should the marriage break down.
I have written it here before
What for?
Who has the time,patience and long suffering required to train another person all together after investing training years on another with no guarantees that the second one will work.
So like many women of my generation,we will only train one man and one man only


NB
"Training"here of course is used in humor,the smart ones know what I'm driving at

bob
Mar 24, 2012, 08:52 PM
my oga's mother was out of country when he got married.
it was about 8 months before she came to visit/live with the 'new' couple.
she saw the wife getting up early to make breakfast for the youngman before he zooms off to work before dawn.
the mum was astounded and simply told the wife : i have trained him to do all that by himself.
my oga hid his face... the end to 8 months of bliss.

on another hand,
a few days ago, we were having a worshop and during a break, the instructor started telling us about this 1968 corvette he just bought.
some after he was on about travelling with his bikes to colorado.
one of us could not bear it anymore and grabbed his left hand,
'are you married?'
no. divorced.
we all breathed easy. we could now enjoy his stories about exotic cars and bike rides.
we could envy him, but not quite exchange our nagging, expensive wives for all that.