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emj
May 4, 2011, 10:37 PM
This is very interesting....from the SNS:eek:


I Cheated Because I Love My Husband



Dear XX, I would be grateful if you could kindly share this story with the XXXX family. I wish to remain annonymous. This is a real story. Thanking you in advance.

I am 43 years old. After giving up that life couldn't offer me anything better, I met my current husband (now 50 years old), wealthy enough but had no children of his own. He rescued me and my 3 beautiful daughters from an abusive relationship. I did not believe him at first when he told me he wanted a wife and not a girlfriend so I could bear him children. Within 7 months of meeting him, we went to Nigeria, did the relevant traditional wedding. This man took my children on as his and the children love him to bits. Immediately I became his wife, he built me a house, set up a business for me, put the children in private schools and I could not have asked for anything more. Sadly, year in, year out up to 3 years I did not fall pregnant and no contraception was used. I became worried and discussed it with him. He broke down crying that he wasn't producing healthy sperm that could father children. We started going from one hospital to the other (series of tests and treatments) for 2 years or so, he spent a lot of money, still no success! He is a good christian man. We prayed and prayed and by age 48 he was becoming restless and I was feeling concerned too. We decided to sort help spiritually. Everywhere we went, they told us someone cursed him etc. which was why his previous wife left him. He was advised to adopt and accept his fate of ever having children of his own, but we did not give up and continued to pray.
He became very desperate that each month he monitored my mestral cycle and each time I'm late he's buying baby things. I discussed this with a friend of mine who told me to try another man. I love my husband so much and I wanted him to be happy and feel proud of being a daddy too, so I decided to go out with this young man and within 3 months of the affair, I became pregnant. I stopped the affair immediately and broke the ‘good' news to my husband who was excited. I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy whom he loved so much. Last year, the baby fell ill and the doctors were talking of taking blood from his father. I got scared and I started urging my husband to let us try for another child. Now I'm pregnant again (definitely my husband's). Thinking about it, the baby actually does look like him. My dilema now is that is it possible I was already pregnant by my husband before I started sleeping with the young man or what? I am so confused now as my husband has been childless for more than 20 years and all of a sudden he is fertile, could this be possible? Please help me shed more light into this, I'm dying of guilt and shame.

Please be kind enough to share it on your discussion board. Thank you so much.

emj
May 4, 2011, 10:42 PM
Some stuff women go through.........the case in the new testament Sarah and the slave girl's plan comes to mind. looking for the easy way out...short-cut to..........

http://www.womeninthebible.net/1.2.Hagar.htm

Hagar and Ishmael


1 Sarai, Abram?s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar;
2 so she said to Abram, ?The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.?Abram agreed to what Sarai said.
3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife.

valteena
May 4, 2011, 10:50 PM
Wow what a messy situation. The only way to know is to do a DNA test of the baby to see if he is the husband's. It is up to her to either do it with or without the man's knowledge. But once she knows for sure that the baby is not her man's, then she should do the right thing and let him know.

It will be very nasty of the woman to continue to foist another man's child on him without his knowledge after all what the man has done for her and her children from another marriage. She never knows the husband might forgive her and accept the child as his as he has done with her other children.

emj
May 4, 2011, 11:05 PM
Wow what a messy situation. The only way to know is to do a DNA test of the baby to see if he is the husband's. It is up to her to either do it with or without the man's knowledge. But once she knows for sure that the baby is not her man's, then she should do the right thing and let him know.

It will be very nasty of the woman to continue to foist another man's child on him without his knowledge after all what the man has done for her and her children from another marriage. She never knows the husband might forgive her and accept the child as his as he has done with her other children.

And what if the child turns out to be the husband's?

Infertility makes some women to be very desperate, she was desperate to give him a child.....they could have adopted together.......it's also easy for us to judge her.........the sort of advice people get when they are in trouble can either compound things or make it better......it's not an easy world for some.......



PS>>>......some Rev Fathers will carry loads to confessions to their death bed.........a lot of shit that cannot be shared

valteena
May 4, 2011, 11:16 PM
And what if the child turns out to be the husband's?


PS>>>......some Rev Fathers will carry loads to confessions to their death bed.........a lot of shit that cannot be shared


If it were me, I would still tell my husband. But some might argue that since the baby is the man's then no major harm done and the woman should hold her tongue. Its her call to tell the husband or not. What is more important to me is for her to find out whose is the baby dad.

Bill Carson
May 4, 2011, 11:40 PM
If it were me, I would still tell my husband. But some might argue that since the baby is the man's then no major harm done and the woman should hold her tongue. Its her call to tell the husband or not. What is more important to me is for her to find out whose is the baby dad.

Val,

You are not seriously advising her to grass herself? Her husband is likely well aware of her unorthodox fertility method (I can't call it an affair, if she slept strictly with the younger man for the sole purpose of getting pregnant).
I'd have loved to advice the writer, but I am 100% sure this is fiction.

emj
May 4, 2011, 11:42 PM
If it were me, I would still tell my husband. But some might argue that since the baby is the man's then no major harm done and the woman should hold her tongue. Its her call to tell the husband or not. What is more important to me is for her to find out whose is the baby dad.

It is true that human beings are the only thinking beings, with emotions and the ability to act in totally unpredictable ways.

I dont know what i will do walahi..........better not to find myself in such situation......the man will know before i even give birth to the baby.

Btw, part of my first sentence was culled from a risk management article, it segs well into what i have to say.....am not dat brilliant:)

First-lady
May 5, 2011, 12:06 AM
Wow what a messy situation. The only way to know is to do a DNA test of the baby to see if he is the husband's. It is up to her to either do it with or without the man's knowledge. But once she knows for sure that the baby is not her man's, then she should do the right thing and let him know.

It will be very nasty of the woman to continue to foist another man's child on him without his knowledge after all what the man has done for her and her children from another marriage. She never knows the husband might forgive her and accept the child as his as he has done with her other children.

How does she establish paternity without a sample from the man?
Messy situation I tell ya


what's with EMJ and all these messy palavas?

First-lady
May 5, 2011, 12:10 AM
Assuming I were in her situation (God forbid,tufiakwa !! )
I would establish paternity by elimination
I would call the other man and ask for a huge favor
ask him to help me out
check out if he's the father,if he isn't and I'm sure there was no other man besides him and hubby ,bingo!
This could back fire sha
If the pikin is the lover boy's he may want to be in his son's life and Okafor's law may take over
If the child is not his but hubby's,I will ask God to forgive me and go to my grave with the rest of that story.

If the child is loveboy's
my conscience would not let me keep a heavy secret like that
This is definitely a big one
A man needs to know that a child he's raising is not biologically his
That is the right thing to do

emj
May 5, 2011, 02:35 PM
Assuming I were in her situation (God forbid,tufiakwa !! )
I would establish paternity by elimination
I would call the other man and ask for a huge favor
ask him to help me out
check out if he's the father,if he isn't and I'm sure there was no other man besides him and hubby ,bingo!
This could back fire sha
If the pikin is the lover boy's he may want to be in his son's life and Okafor's law may take over
If the child is not his but hubby's,I will ask God to forgive me and go to my grave with the rest of that story.

If the child is loveboy's
my conscience would not let me keep a heavy secret like that
This is definitely a big one
A man needs to know that a child he's raising is not biologically his
That is the right thing to do

Bia FL, wats the difference between the right thing to do and the sensible thing to do according to the world dico?:what_smile:

@BC,
Na wetin do u wey u no wan give advice.........:eek:

tit
May 5, 2011, 07:24 PM
the moral of the story:
if you are into 'umorthodox fertility methods' better check out the blood group, etc of the donor and make sure they are a match with the husband.

emj
May 5, 2011, 10:13 PM
the moral of the story:
if you are into 'umorthodox fertility methods' better check out the blood group, etc of the donor and make sure they are a match with the husband.

:lol::lol:...abeg i no fit laugh.....how's dat possible?
Will u go round pinging the blood of a would be lover or donatus?:p

First-lady
May 6, 2011, 01:10 AM
:lol::lol:...abeg i no fit laugh.....how's dat possible?
Will u go round pinging the blood of a would be lover or donatus?:p

my dear o
Real women will be checking out other essential things ,tit wants to draw blood and check genotype and phenotype

agensheku
May 6, 2011, 05:24 PM
:lol::lol:...abeg i no fit laugh.....how's dat possible?
Will u go round pinging the blood of a would be lover or donatus?:p

If a woman asks for a man s blood,he would run away thinking he has met a vampire or "winch"!:D Since adoption was on the card,and he already had three kids brought in by the lady why did she have to go for "external affairs"?

Three kids are already a handful for the couple and the woman did not have to try outside help.

I doubt if any man in love would forgive his wife who goes for a "journeyman" to help him achieve the elusive baby,no matter how desperate he may be knowing that at the end of the day,the baby would still not be his in the biological sense of the word.

agensheku
May 6, 2011, 05:30 PM
my dear o
Real women will be checking out other essential things ,tit wants to draw blood and check genotype and phenotype

"Other things",like the length of his "working stick" and the weight of his "egg bag",abi?!Whats the point of having king-size weapons that only produce sugarcane water?!

valteena
May 6, 2011, 07:51 PM
Assuming I were in her situation (God forbid,tufiakwa !! )
I would establish paternity by elimination
I would call the other man and ask for a huge favor
ask him to help me out
check out if he's the father,if he isn't and I'm sure there was no other man besides him and hubby ,bingo!
This could back fire sha
If the pikin is the lover boy's he may want to be in his son's life and Okafor's law may take over
If the child is not his but hubby's,I will ask God to forgive me and go to my grave with the rest of that story.

If the child is loveboy's
my conscience would not let me keep a heavy secret like that
This is definitely a big one
A man needs to know that a child he's raising is not biologically his
That is the right thing to do

F/L don't you think by bringing in the other man, you are creating room for more complications. The less people know and are involve the better me think. I am assuming that as wife, the woman will have access to personal items of the hubby that can be used for the DNA without him necessarily knowing.

And once the DNA confirms the child to be the man's, then its left to the woman to decide whether to tell or not. What ever she decides the knowledge is between the hubby or not, herself and the lab/GP period. She can do without the unnecessary complication of the other man knowing. Not unless the DNA confirms him to be the father and she decides she wants him involve.

First-lady
May 6, 2011, 07:56 PM
F/L don't you think by bringing in the other man, you are creating room for more complications. The less people know and are involve the better me think. I am assuming that as wife, the woman will have access to personal items of the hubby that can be used for the DNA without him necessarily knowing.

And once the DNA confirms the child to be the man's, then its left to the woman to decide whether to tell or not. What ever she decides the knowledge is between the hubby or not, herself and the lab/GP period. She can do without the unnecessary complication of the other man knowing. Not unless the DNA confirms him to be the father and she decides she wants him involve.

The swab is usually taken from the inner cheek
It'll be tough to use a cotton swab and get sample from a man's inner cheek without him knowing

A smart woman can sha
I just thought about how it can be done
you can come on to him when he's asleep and as soon as he gets aroused and turns ,you use your cotton swabs and take a sample before he realizes where he is,you plant a killer kiss on his lips and proceed with other things.

valteena
May 6, 2011, 08:00 PM
Val,

You are not seriously advising her to grass herself? Her husband is likely well aware of her unorthodox fertility method (I can't call it an affair, if she slept strictly with the younger man for the sole purpose of getting pregnant).
I'd have loved to advice the writer, but I am 100% sure this is fiction.

Yes o Billy that is what I'm asking her to do. And you even buttress my point further when you said the hubby is likely aware of her fertility method. If that is the case so what's the point lying and pretending? Why not come out in the open about it with the husband and free herself of any guilty feeling.

Bill Carson
May 6, 2011, 08:16 PM
Yes o Billy that is what I'm asking her to do. And you even buttress my point further when you said the hubby is likely aware of her fertility method. If that is the case so what's the point lying and pretending? Why not come out in the open about it with the husband and free herself of any guilty feeling.

Val,

No woman ever carry's guilt feelings about because of ordinary affair, they just throw decoy of guilt when caught out.

Have you ever asked yourself, why there are more Nigerian women without children now than twenty years ago?........ because the women of old were only not clever, but practical enough to safe their husband(s) embarrassment by doing the right thing with an able stallion discreetly.

emj
May 7, 2011, 03:37 AM
If a woman asks for a man s blood,he would run away thinking he has met a vampire or "winch"!:D Since adoption was on the card,and he already had three kids brought in by the lady why did she have to go for "external affairs"?

Three kids are already a handful for the couple and the woman did not have to try outside help.

I doubt if any man in love would forgive his wife who goes for a "journeyman" to help him achieve the elusive baby,no matter how desperate he may be knowing that at the end of the day,the baby would still not be his in the biological sense of the word.

And the treachery might make him not to trust her anymore......why try to help God?

emj
May 7, 2011, 03:38 AM
The swab is usually taken from the inner cheek
It'll be tough to use a cotton swab and get sample from a man's inner cheek without him knowing

A smart woman can sha
I just thought about how it can be done
you can come on to him when he's asleep and as soon as he gets aroused and turns ,you use your cotton swabs and take a sample before he realizes where he is,you plant a killer kiss on his lips and proceed with other things.

WOGGG...........haaaaaaaaa

HolyPagan
May 7, 2011, 09:18 AM
The swab is usually taken from the inner cheek
It'll be tough to use a cotton swab and get sample from a man's inner cheek without him knowing

A smart woman can sha
I just thought about how it can be done
you can come on to him when he's asleep and as soon as he gets aroused and turns ,you use your cotton swabs and take a sample before he realizes where he is,you plant a killer kiss on his lips and proceed with other things.
FL Nwannem, exactly
There are many ways to skin a cat...
His tooth brush...
His brush or comb...
a fork or spoon used by him...
In peace time, we can muck about with a cotton swab..but when matter don henter hinjury time, the situation calls for novel means.
Its not that hard to get a 'sample' if she is determined.

Anioma777
May 15, 2011, 04:11 PM
Hmmmm...that is why any sensible man should always insist his wife or away a game agrees to an independent test. The man has a good bargaining stance when divorce comes :D. Most Women I fear them o....na long spoon man go dey take dine with them :(

PatrickIroegbu
Aug 9, 2011, 12:41 AM
This woman, please hold your togue and allow peace in the child, father, mother and sibling relationship to grow. Afterall in Igbo like in many other societies, it is said that from where-ever a child comes, may it be well. To get a child for this man has been payed for and all things done to accomplish it. Going out to get what you cannot get from the inside is culturally appropriate. If a child is adopted won't the child be loved and supported as a family being? Yes I think. It is also culturally known that a husband and wife may agree to get a child from who among the two partners is considered and confirmed potent. In this case it is the woman. If this woman hapened to be the impotent one, her husband would have agreed to go outside and pregant a lady and take the baby. Two women in Lagos I happened to know did it with their husbands under agreement. So it is not strange except when one is ignorant of the cultural dynamics involved in blood politics and kinship that people play as a matter of identity and family honour. Nevertheless, women manipulate men's genes and it is true in this case. The end point is to have a child associated with this man. So be it how that child emerged and indeed has brought love and peace. What else? Please make sure this child is given all due training and love he deserves to have in the family. What we owe to a child is education and training to become successful in life. Give it to this child and his father will be happy ever. Let no person put assunder in what is there to be.
PEI

emj
Aug 9, 2011, 02:54 AM
This woman, please hold your togue and allow peace in the child, father, mother and sibling relationship to grow. Afterall in Igbo like in many other societies, it is said that from where-ever a child comes, may it be well. To get a child for this man has been payed for and all things done to accomplish it. Going out to get what you cannot get from the inside is culturally appropriate. If a child is adopted won't the child be loved and supported as a family being? Yes I think. It is also culturally known that a husband and wife may agree to get a child from who among the two partners is considered and confirmed potent. In this case it is the woman. If this woman hapened to be the impotent one, her husband would have agreed to go outside and pregant a lady and take the baby. Two women in Lagos I happened to know did it with their husbands under agreement. So it is not strange except when one is ignorant of the cultural dynamics involved in blood politics and kinship that people play as a matter of identity and family honour. Nevertheless, women manipulate men's genes and it is true in this case. The end point is to have a child associated with this man. So be it how that child emerged and indeed has brought love and peace. What else? Please make sure this child is given all due training and love he deserves to have in the family. What we owe to a child is education and training to become successful in life. Give it to this child and his father will be happy ever. Let no person put assunder in what is there to be.
PEI

Thank u Oga PEI(not Prince Edward Island...lol) for stopping by......am sitting in a rocking chair to read your response....

Nothing wrong with adoption or surrogate.......whereby both parties are in the know.......
Deception has expiry date Sir.

I heard of recent of a woman who traveled to Nigeria, to one of those baby factories that was raided of recent.....she's stuck in Nigeria right now after pretending to be pregnant.......the husband she left in the USA learnt from one of her friends and has vowed that she wont return back to their home(she pretended to be heavily preg, and needed bed rest, but decided to travel against her husband's advice).........he's so miffed......going to divorce her for tricking him....

Unregistre
Aug 9, 2011, 09:44 PM
This woman, please hold your togue and allow peace in the child, father, mother and sibling relationship to grow. Afterall in Igbo like in many other societies, it is said that from where-ever a child comes, may it be well. To get a child for this man has been payed for and all things done to accomplish it. Going out to get what you cannot get from the inside is culturally appropriate. If a child is adopted won't the child be loved and supported as a family being? Yes I think. It is also culturally known that a husband and wife may agree to get a child from who among the two partners is considered and confirmed potent. In this case it is the woman. If this woman hapened to be the impotent one, her husband would have agreed to go outside and pregant a lady and take the baby. Two women in Lagos I happened to know did it with their husbands under agreement. So it is not strange except when one is ignorant of the cultural dynamics involved in blood politics and kinship that people play as a matter of identity and family honour. Nevertheless, women manipulate men's genes and it is true in this case. The end point is to have a child associated with this man. So be it how that child emerged and indeed has brought love and peace. What else? Please make sure this child is given all due training and love he deserves to have in the family. What we owe to a child is education and training to become successful in life. Give it to this child and his father will be happy ever. Let no person put assunder in what is there to be.
PEI

Does this hold in your familly today? I do not know the part of Igbo land that still practices this. Pray your wife bring home another man's child and lets see how you react to it.

M. Akosa
Aug 11, 2011, 09:21 AM
This woman, please hold your togue and allow peace in the child, father, mother and sibling relationship to grow. Afterall in Igbo like in many other societies, it is said that from where-ever a child comes, may it be well. To get a child for this man has been payed for and all things done to accomplish it. Going out to get what you cannot get from the inside is culturally appropriate. If a child is adopted won't the child be loved and supported as a family being? Yes I think. It is also culturally known that a husband and wife may agree to get a child from who among the two partners is considered and confirmed potent. In this case it is the woman. If this woman hapened to be the impotent one, her husband would have agreed to go outside and pregant a lady and take the baby. Two women in Lagos I happened to know did it with their husbands under agreement. So it is not strange except when one is ignorant of the cultural dynamics involved in blood politics and kinship that people play as a matter of identity and family honour. Nevertheless, women manipulate men's genes and it is true in this case. The end point is to have a child associated with this man. So be it how that child emerged and indeed has brought love and peace. What else? Please make sure this child is given all due training and love he deserves to have in the family. What we owe to a child is education and training to become successful in life. Give it to this child and his father will be happy ever. Let no person put assunder in what is there to be.
PEI

Sir,

What you are suggesting here is " cheap talk "

I think you first need to do a research on the plight of illegitimate children in Igboland and their outcomes, and honestly digest what you will discover, before you come out here to make such a silly assertion.

Unlike the yorubas who have no social problems with acceptance and inheritance in regards to the future welfare and best interests of such children. To the best of my knowledge, the existence of any unresolved illegitimacy in any Igbo family is rather considered as a disrepute and material for scandals and dishonour.

emj
Aug 15, 2011, 10:47 PM
This summarizes it all for me.....Nigerian women are mostly left with the short end of the stick.....u are harased to get married at a certain age and expected to be preg weda the dude is packing or not within 18mths.....hence some people can go to any length to get things done.....soonest



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They feel ridiculed and jeered at, and sometimes truly so; too familiar with laboratory tests, gynecological centers, hospitals and nuptial seminars, prayer houses, herbalist homes and spiritual centers are their "pilgrimage" lands and centers.
"Emotional wretch" and "scum of the earth" have become the names by which they are known.
At one time it is mutual consolation and at another, it is mutual reproach. Knee-jerked by in-laws and kindred, their humanity mocked at, they get driven to despair and despondency; they are tired of the same old bugging sermon: "God's time is the best." Thus, it is better to die than to live. They are the childless African (http://www.codewit.com/life-a-style/family-and-parenting/48-the-predicaments-of-childless-africa-couples) couples! Life is shrouded in mystery. The veracity of this statement is eloquently, though partially, demonstrated in one of the vicissitudes of married life – the problem of childlessness. To say the least, this problem has become a phenomenon, and an increasingly vexing one today, such that it becomes almost difficult to decipher under what context is the universalcommand: "...increase and multiply" used. It becomes even more so from the African perspective where polygamy, a once highly cherished African value by which the problem of childlessness was to a large extent solved, is thrown overboard with the advent of Christianity (http://www.codewit.com/life-a-style/family-and-parenting/48-the-predicaments-of-childless-africa-couples).

What, then, is the fate of the childless African couples in a culture where sterility is considered a curse?

In the African setting, the consciousness of childlessness is even heightened and much felt. It is inconceivable to talk of a marriage devoid of children, since this was seen as amounting to a total eclipse of the family and the society. Emphasizing the primacy of procreation in marriage, Jomo Keyatta unfolds that, "the desire to have children is deep rooted in the hearts of both man and woman, and on entering into matrimonial union, they regard procreation of children as their first and most sacred duty." From the aforementioned statement, a childless marriage appears to be very difficult to maintain.

"Life is fundamental" is one very true saying that I believe in. Too often, we glory in the ephemeral at the expense of the enduring; we forget so soon that the problem of childlessness is just one amongst many other perplexing human and existential problems by which our self-exaltation and self-deification is put to shame. The ability to transmit life and the inability to transmit it are all mysteries to which humans can never give thorough explanations and go forth to demonstrate human tactility in a strange world!

The problem of childlessness for African couples is not the worst of all human problems. Childless couples should be patient; if, however, it becomes absolutely necessary, they should opt for adoption of children. Rather than engage themselves in self-pity, childless African couples should occupy their minds with human development-oriented programmes – they may exercise charitable acts for those in need, and fix their hearts in love for each other. Over and above all, there should be an attitudinal change on the part of the society. The community, within which the childless couple finds themselves, must be educated in such a way that it does not see and treat the childless couples as unfortunate beings, but accept and respect them. When this is done, the childless couple can live a fulfilled life.

Finally, there is no human being on earth who is without a problem. It is the degree of peculiarities and the nature of each of our problems that make the difference. Childless couples should learn to outgrow their problems by living as though they have none, and so avoid burdening themselves further in addition to the already existing burden-laden life. Mutual love by which couples are bonded together must be strong at this point to allow for mutual acceptance of their lot. Adapt yourself to the things about which your lot has been cast, after all, by reason of fact and knowledge, a childless marriage is a marriage indeed!



PS>>>>>>>>>>>........i take exception to innuendos and insults being thrown around on this thread.....and will not hesitate to have such persons and their comments removed forthwith.........fair warning:Sarcastic:

Enyi
Aug 23, 2011, 10:07 PM
First of all, let me say that this is probably a true story. I am aware of many such cases. The woman in question is simply courting trouble by bringing it up. What is done cannot be undone. Therefore, she should move on with her life. What will be achieved by finding out who is the biological father of the child? Does it cancel the infidelity? She should even be happy that the young man has not surfaced to claim the child. I shall leave her with two sayings:
1). What the eyes do not see, do not pain the heart.
2). What a person does not know, will not kill him/her.
The bottom line is that she must not spoil the man's happiness. There are many men who are proud fathers of children they believe are theirs when in reality their biological fathers are elsewhere.

emj
Aug 24, 2011, 09:36 PM
First of all, let me say that this is probably a true story. I am aware of many such cases. The woman in question is simply courting trouble by bringing it up. What is done cannot be undone. Therefore, she should move on with her life. What will be achieved by finding out who is the biological father of the child? Does it cancel the infidelity? She should even be happy that the young man has not surfaced to claim the child. I shall leave her with two sayings:
1). What the eyes do not see, do not pain the heart.
2). What a person does not know, will not kill him/her.
The bottom line is that she must not spoil the man's happiness. There are many men who are proud fathers of children they believe are theirs when in reality their biological fathers are elsewhere.

What happens if several yrs down the road the real father starts making trouble for the family?
What happens when the child falls sick and needs blood transfusion?
What if the husband knows and just like a story i heard is waiting for her to tell him but didnt bother till he was on his death bed?

So many what ifs.......it's never easy for some women......being fruitful in some instance is not dat easy breezy....the culture that looks at marriage and feel that procreation is a given......

Lalakokofefe
Aug 24, 2011, 10:06 PM
I shall leave her with two sayings:
1). What the eyes do not see, do not pain the heart.
2). What a person does not know, will not kill him/her.


I am reminded of two rules as well:

Rule #1. Make sure no one finds out.

Rule #2. Someone always finds out.


LKF

Enyi
Aug 24, 2011, 11:07 PM
What happens if several yrs down the road the real father starts making trouble for the family?
What happens when the child falls sick and needs blood transfusion?
What if the husband knows and just like a story i heard is waiting for her to tell him but didnt bother till he was on his death bed?

So many what ifs.......it's never easy for some women......being fruitful in some instance is not dat easy breezy....the culture that looks at marriage and feel that procreation is a given......

Paternity has no direct bearing with blood transfusion. The transfused blood may not necessarily be from either of the parents. Yes, I agree with you that there are many "what ifs", but then the whole life is full of "what ifs". There is wisdom in the saying: If ain't broken, dont fix it.

emj
Aug 25, 2011, 12:12 AM
Paternity has no direct bearing with blood transfusion. The transfused blood may not necessarily be from either of the parents. Yes, I agree with you that there are many "what ifs", but then the whole life is full of "what ifs". There is wisdom in the saying: If ain't broken, dont fix it.

Thanks for the memory upgrade...it's very much appreciated........but then this child the more i think about it might actually belong to the husband, the other dude merely watered......:eek:


http://www.canadiancrc.com/paternity_determination_blood_type.aspx

emj
Sep 3, 2011, 02:36 PM
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2011/09/baby-factories-how-pregnancies-deliveries-are-framed/


Baby factories: How pregnancies, deliveries are framedon SEPTEMBER 2, 2011 · in METRO (http://www.vanguardngr.com/category/more/metro/)By Ishola Balogun<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" hspace="0" id="I1_1315059539313" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" name="I1_1315059539313" scrolling="no" src="https://plusone.google.com/u/0/_/+1/fastbutton?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vanguardngr.com%2F 2011%2F09%2Fbaby-factories-how-pregnancies-deliveries-are-framed%2F&size=medium&count=true&annotation=&hl=en-US&jsh=r%3Bgc%2F23579912-2b1b2e17#id=I1_1315059539313&parent=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vanguardngr.com&rpctoken=940696643&_methods=onPlusOne%2C_ready%2C_close%2C_open%2C_re sizeMe" tabindex="-1" vspace="0" width="100%" title="+1" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; font-size: 1px; vertical-align: baseline; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; width: 90px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; height: 20px; position: static; left: 0px; top: 0px; visibility: visible; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "></iframe>



Madubuike and his wife were clueless about the whereabouts of their daughter for four months. She had gone missing after she told her parents she was going to check her post JAMB results in one of the universities in the South-East.
Anticipating that she had passed the night in her friend's or relative's house, the parents hoped she would return the next day. But when she did not return, the search began, but it was fruitless. The young girl had deliberately stayed away from home to shield herself from the protruding tummy as a result of a five month-old pregnancy.
She had met a friend who advised her to conceal the pregnancy pending when she would be delivered and sold it to a dealer. The deal was successful. She had gone back to the dealer to collect the balance sum of N5000 of the N30,000 for the baby when she met her water-loo. The law enforcement agents raided the home of the dealer that faithful day.

http://vml1.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/kids4.jpg
With good governance, rights of these children would be guaranteed.
The young lady is only a case in point as scores of young girls with unwanted pregnancies patronise baby dealers, most of who masquerade as operators of native clinics where mysterious deliveries take place.
Our findings revealed that the unpublicised native maternity homes use illicit means to procure babies to childless couples on the payment of huge amount of money, ranging from N750,000 to N1m depending on the sex of the baby. We gathered that twins go for about N1.5million or more.
The delivery date depends on the baby seekers. While some opt for a nine-month period, some go for a fast deal of one month or two, also depending on the availability of the baby from source. Investigations revealed that for those who go for a nine-month period, a pregnancy will be framed and delivery date given. The delivery day can be postponed indiscriminately based on the availability of the baby.
Their patrons are desperate women, ranging from high society women, clergymen and women who most times hide the arrangements from their husbands. Most of these centres are found in Aba, Okigwe, Obigbo, Port-Harcourt etc.
How pregnancy and deliveries are framed Investigations
revealed that these clinics administer certain substances on the patients that form a sort of tumour in the womb of the ‘expectant' mothers, making them believe they were pregnant. Occasionally, a movement is caused in the belly making it look as if a baby is kicking. The women are warned not to go to any hospital or undergo ultrasound or any sort of scan as they could lose the ‘pregnancy' or ‘baby' in the process.
You will recall, Precious Donatus Ogbonna, who claimed to have delivered seven babies in one year had told Saturday Vanguard in one of her interviews that she refused to go for ultra-sound during her pregnancy.
Thereafter, a delivery date is given to the client and few weeks to the time of delivery, a tablet called Multlin will be administered, this according to our source, will make the breast full with milk, ready for delivery and for the baby to sulk. She maintained that this was very important as it would convince the husband and those who would come to congratulate her on the new born baby.
Our unsuspecting source advised the reporter to immediately procure the tablet and let his wife take two, three times daily for two weeks while assuring the reporter that the family will have a baby in the next one month.
Further investigations revealed that when it is time for ‘delivery,' another substance is administered on the woman, which gives a false impression of labour. Part of the growing tumour will come out through the vagina and it is cut to discharge blood and make it look as if there was actual delivery. A baby is then sneaked in and made to cry. The woman is also made to believe she had been delivered of a baby.
In Precious Ogbonna's case, she told the reporter that when she had one of the babies, it was recorded through a friend's cell phone but she deleted the video few days later. She regretted deleting the stuff fearing her husband would not like it, especially, if the video got to a third party, adding that she went into labour and gave birth to the kids.
Mummy D Clinic in Rukpukwu, PH
Except for those who know her and what she does, Mummy D's clinic is not a popular one or perhaps is made to be. By the junction of Rukpukwu, Port-Harcourt, Rivers state, it is about a three minute-walk. The residential building which part of it (a flat) offers solution to baby seeking women, is strictly exclusive for women.
Behind the tall gate and high fenced walls which take away the prying eyes of the public and law enforcement agents, all manner of absurdities take place. Saturday Vanguard was led into the building to see Mummy D by a woman who had passed through the process in the clinic. She was well known in the clinic so much that other baby seekers asked her whether she had come for another one,(baby) even without a protruding stomach as a sign of a possible delivery.
She had hinted the reporter about the procedures believing her guest was ready for the deal. It was like a market place as women throng in one after the other, making the male reporter only the odd one. Mummy D was in her office, a small consulting room which barely takes a table and a chair and an examination bed.
The reporter was introduced to Mummy D as a baby seeker and had to pay the required consultation fee of N1000 before opening up discussion. She claimed to have learned the rudiments and use of herbs that can make a barren woman pregnant from her father and had successfully used it for years to assist women in dire need of babies.
She said most of what people consider as fibroid are not fibroid and that she assists women in determining a pregnancy by using a substance to massage their bellies. She boasted of her ability to cause ‘pregnancy' showing the reporter different types of substances, which according to her, aid in the delivery of babies, contraction etc. She became suspicious after several interogation and therefore ended discussion.
Nurse Blessing, PH
On Ohonda close in Rukpakulusi, Nurse Blessing was popular. Many in the neighbourhood knew her as an auxiliary nurse long before she went to train in this illicit trade at Ayodele Omosuyi Natural Clinic in Okigwe, Imo State. She was formerly staying in a ‘face to face' apartment located not too far from her present high fenced and tall gate bungalow apartment. She was said to have been the source of at least five of the seven babies of Precious Donatus Ogbonna which the DNA sponsored by Vanguard proved the acclaimed mother wrong. In fact, none of the babies had same maternity according to the result.
But Precious insisted she delivered the babies at Nurse Blessing's home. On getting to the home, no one was visibly present as the tall gate was locked. The gateman who attended to the reporter the last time we visited was also not around. Neighbours around who volunteered information said she has not been seen for couple of months. Further investigation on the nurse revealed that she could have been at large following the several publications on Precious Donatus Ogbonna and the DNA.
In fact, we gathered that immediately after the bubble burst, Nurse Blessing allegedly proposed to Precious to escape with the babies, offering to give her N180, 000 to leave for Ghana where an accommodation had been prepared for her. She did not want public scrutiny on the birth of the seven babies.
But a naive Precious insisted she was not going to run, insisting on a DNA test to prove her claim. Saturday Vanguard immediately went to Owerri to get Precious' comment on the allegation. She said: "I'is not time to talk. I don't know what is happening but it is not yet the time to talk." She neither confirmed nor disproved the allegation.
Ogechi in Obigbo
Like what is common to all the clinics visited, no sign post informed visitors of what goes on there. They have tall gates and high fenced walls as the trademarks. Ogechi's home is not different.
The setting is like a mini clinic with few female staffers. For her, we gathered, she could deliver babies to new clients in few weeks. She has a large network of sources which readily deliver for her. Her charges range between N1.2million to N1.5million for twins and N750, 000 for a male child and takes a little less for female child. A native hinted Saturday Vanguard that people come there with posh cars. She was also said to have been trained in Okigwe.
Ayodele Omosuyi, Okigwe
Ayodele Omosuyi Natural Clinic in Ugwuaku, Okigwe, Imo State is popularly known in the neighbourhood as a centre for baby seeking barren women.
Even the commercial motorcycle riders, Okada, at the Okigwe junction along the Enugu-Port Harcourt Expressway, would readily take you to her clinic. She was said to have encountered the police a couple of times. Mrs Ayodele Omosuyi is a middle aged woman called Iyawo in the community. She is seen as a very powerful woman her and nobody in the rural community of Ugwuaku dares cross her path. She is like the big-fish in the business having trained quite a lot of young women in the trade. We gathered that she was the one who trained Ogechi and Nurse Blessing in Obigbo and Rukpkulsi in Port-Harcourt respectively. It was reported that soldiers raided her place last year.
A source told Saturday Vanguard few days ago that a barren wife of a soldier actually went there to genuinely seek for assistance to overcome her long years of childlessness. She was asked to pay the sum of N1million, with an assurance that she would get a baby in few weeks.
The processes and the fee drew the curiosity of the soldier's wife as an unholy act. She invited soldiers who raided the place but later left her off the hook. Sources said she charges between N1million – N1.5million per baby, more than her other trained colleagues in the business.
Our source maintained that pastors, clergymen and women, people from far and near, in posh cars visit the home.
The investigations showed that child trafficking and selling of babies are on the rise, and the traffickers hide under the cloak of native maternity operation to arrange babies for baby seekers while young women, who found a solution ground for unwanted babies, dump them in the clinics for onward sale or birth arrangement to desperate women.
Recently, the law enforcement agents last December raided the Omosuyi Natural clinic with officials of the National Agency for Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) after a tip-off. While Nurse Blessing is still nursing the ache caused by her deal with Precious, several others still operate unhindered with several kids being transferred to desperate women.