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valteena
Feb 26, 2010, 12:27 PM
This is a palava that is stressing someone out. What should she do? What is the ideal amount of sex for couples with young children?

"My husband and I have a 2 1/2-year-old and a six-month-old baby. My husband is very unhappy with the amount of sex we have. He says the average is three times a week, but that we should be doing it five times to make up for lost time in pregnancy and post-birth.

I say leave me alone so I can sleep while there's a chance. But it is causing too much problem already and I don't want it to spoil our marriage. What is everyone else doing?"

Obugi
Feb 26, 2010, 01:22 PM
Valteena,

What this woman is saying is her husband is so ugly or poor that he can't even get sex outside the house. But wait o, he can't even get sex inside sef :lol:

!Get Yours, Baby! :rose:
Obugi.

Beam
Feb 26, 2010, 02:29 PM
Valteena

She needs to sit him down be really honest with him. tell him how she is feeling, how tired and worn out she is, after taking care of his two kids. She needs to be calm and firm with it but also apperciate the guy is asking and complaining he is not getting enough sex at home ,other men will seek it elsewhere. She can also compromise that part I not fit explain for here:D

On a more serious note she needs to listen to him and he needs to listen to her .Why were they not having sex during the pregnancy self? it does not hurt the baby.

I honestly feel they both need to found a common ground before it gets too late.

I know the question was what is everybody else doing. however you have heard of do what I say not what I do ke:lol::lol:

{Beam at home celebrating Muhammeds birthday mode}:p

Obugi
Feb 26, 2010, 02:57 PM
Beam,


I honestly feel they both need to found a common ground before it gets too late.

Too late? Late for what?


I know the question was what is everybody else doing. however you have heard of do what I say not what I do ke:lol::lol:

Yes, back to the question.

I'm sure people are "doing" according to what they have to do.

If a man is totally unattractive and dependent on his woman to keep up his lifestyle, he'll be masturbating until Madam feels generous enough to allow him a taste of punani.

If on the other hand he is financially fit he can afford to do what he wishes. If he is physically attractive, I'm sure there are other women who will willingly service him for free.

All this depends on the environment in which they live also. The relative ability to get what each person wants depends on how the law and social mores in any country favor each gender.

If this man is poor, unattractive and lives in England, his choices aren't very good, but he can console himself with the availability of 24hr electricity, good roads, healthcare on demand and police protection (especially for his wife, you know potential rapists lurk in every corner, especially behind the hamper, or under the bed :lol:)

If they're a religious family, he can go visit their pastor, who most likely impregnated the woman in the first place anyway. The Man of God might favor this husband with his mouth :eek: Yes, nothing is beyond the Lord's Anointed!

What are other people doing? It depends on their circumstances, it depends on the cost (not just monetary cost) of available options.

!Get Yours!
Obugi.

HolyPagan
Feb 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/11/14/1037080849465.html
No sex please, we're mothers

AS SEX surveys go, this was a shocker. But the papers buried the biggest surprise. "Sex is less frequent after a baby," screeched one headline (you don't say?). "New mums have less sex," said another. But the truly amazing nugget they missed - according to the research by Prima Baby magazine - was that new mothers are apparently having an astonishing four sex sessions a month.

Never mind that they had been doing it 10 times a month before they got pregnant, or even that they had done it five times while expecting. It's not so much the drop in frequency that's surprising as the fact they're still doing it at all, never mind once a week.

This is the unpalatable truth about having a baby: when you've just had one, you don't want sex. Not for a long time, anyway. OK, we have all heard about the friend of a friend who came home from hospital feeling so horny she couldn't wait for the baby to settle down so she could jump into the sack, but for the vast majority, childbirth is not a valid form of foreplay.
The most immediate reason is also the most obvious: having a baby hurts like hell, and even if you are in the increasingly small minority who have a straightforward, intervention-free delivery, your vagina and perineum are sore for weeks afterwards. After an instrumental delivery and/or an episiotomy or cut, the trauma to your vaginal tissues is much worse and the discomfort can persist for longer.

Despite hospital ads in the United States that encourage mothers-to-be to "keep yourself honeymoon-fresh with a caesarean", you are kidding yourself if you think you will quickly return to your normal sexual form after a surgical delivery. After my caesarean I felt as though I would split in half if I sneezed, laughed or coughed: when the only thing that isn't agony is lying absolutely still, sex is a bit of a no-no.


It isn't, of course, just the physical fallout of giving birth that makes sex so unappealing. Few new mothers feel like making love because when you have got a baby, your every instinct is directed towards cuddling, loving and caring for this new little person. The big old person who was instrumental in her conception may still be important, but your baby has taken centre stage. Having sex, for a while at least, seems irrelevant. As one respondent in the Prima Baby survey wrote, sex is quite simply "the last thing on your mind".

For some couples, too, there is a complication caused by an overload of medical intervention in the process of pregnancy and childbirth. Couples who have had to resort to assisted conception methods, for example, often report feeling as though sex has become a "medicalised" process in which they are monitored, injected, tested and prodded. Even those who have been trying to have a baby naturally say that having sex in order to conceive can seem like a chore rather than a pleasure, and there may be a knock-on effect after the birth.

Last year, another survey on relationships after childbirth, carried out by the website Mumsnet, asked new parents why they were having sex less often than before. Only 1 per cent said it was because sex was painful, suggesting that childbirth injuries are usually short-term, while 22 per cent put it down to "lack of libido" and 62 per cent said it was because of tiredness.

British psychosexual therapist Julia Cole says the mistake a lot of couples make after the birth of a baby is to try to return to having "normal' intercourse as quickly as possible. She suggests to clients that they go back to the kind of physical relationship they had when they were first going out together, before they started having sex, and let things develop from there.

"What you find is that couples stop touching because they're afraid they're inviting sex and that isn't what they necessarily want," she says.

"But it's important to keep being affectionate to one another because that keeps you close and keeps your relationship warm. Don't think solely in terms of intercourse - there are a lot of other ways to have a fun and enjoyable sex life. Often the most difficult thing is to organise a bit of uninterrupted time when you know you won't be disturbed by the baby crying or needing you."

Too often, she says, couples wait until bedtime, when they are both exhausted, to turn their thoughts to sex. Other times of the day, perhaps during the baby's afternoon nap, can be a more sensible time to have an intimate half-hour together.

Cole agrees that one issue this research raises is how men's sexual urges tend to be taken as the "norm". After all, if it was left to women to decide when to resume sex after childbirth, would we be doing it four times a month, despite being exhausted with an infant and still sore after giving birth?

HolyPagan
Feb 26, 2010, 03:26 PM
http://www.huliq.com/34108/new-mothers-get-only-three-hours-sleep-or-less-each-night

New mothers get only three hours' sleep or less each night

Survey reveals most new mothers get only three hours' sleep or less each night Fathers get twice as much and only a quarter even wake when their baby cries Shattered parents' relationships suffer and 94 per cent of mums prefer sleep to sex

By Maria Croce

LACK of sleep can lead to serious relationship rows and ongoing tiredness at work when new parents return to their jobs, a new survey has revealed.

The poll for Mother & Baby Magazine and Huggies, shows that half of all mums with a new baby say sleep starvation has put their relationship under strain and caused rows, with one in 10 admitting they've almost split up. Not surprisingly, 94 per cent of modern mums say they prefer sleep to sex.

Mums in Scotland only get on average three hours sleep a night, while their partner still manages to clock up seven hours. However loudly babies cry somehow they don't seem to wake up men. Only 23 per cent of dads wake up when their baby cries, a further 24 per cent only wake up after a hefty nudge and 63 per cent simply slumber on.

Dads in Scotland are the most likely in the UK to help put baby to bed but 56 per cent hardly ever or never get up to help settle the baby during the night. Scots, in particular, are fans of hi-tech gadgets to monitor babies. Around 17 per cent rig up a video monitor of their baby in its cot and 77 per cent buy a two-way baby alarm.

But monitors that are meant to put parents' minds at rest can mean mums never switch off from their babies.

And mums who return to work in Scotland during the first year of motherhood are the most likely to say they have to take days off due to sleep deprivation.

Dads in Scotland are the most likely to drink alcohol in a bid to get more sleep, while one in 10 wears ear plugs.

But on the positive side, mums in Scotland are most likely to have a willing mum or mum-in-law who will look after the baby overnight and give them time off to catch up on sleep.

According to the research, in our own parents' day mums enjoyed six hours sleep, managing without all mod cons.

Lack of sleep seems to be one of the biggest problems for new mums, with three hours being the average during the first four months - but 30 per cent get even less than this. And mums still only average five hours sleep a night when their baby is 18 months old.

The research also shows a relationship is twice as likely to fall apart following the arrival of a baby if the mum gets less than four hours sleep a night.

Elena Dalrymple, editor of Mother & Baby Magazine says: "Just as a watched kettle never boils, so a watched baby never sleeps and rigging up baby monitors could be a step too far. The pressure parents find themselves under is enormous, especially mums.

"It is primarily mums who do the night time baby duty yet many are also back at work full-time by the time baby is six months. Dads need to get out of bed in the early hours and pull their weight.

"Ultimately, parents-to-be have no idea how the lack of sleep a baby brings will devastate their lives. If you're only getting three hours sleep night after night and sometimes less, you'll most likely take your frustration and anger out on your partner.

"It's amazing so many relationships survive the onslaught of a baby, although sadly, some never recover.

"It's shameful so many dads don't get up during the night because, if parents work as a team they can get through this difficult time more harmoniously."

MUM'S THE WORD

SIX out of 10 grandmas appear to have plenty of advice on getting baby to bed. This include leaving the baby to cry, giving the baby a dummy and putting the baby on solids earlier. However only 22 per cent of mums think their mother's advice is right and only five per cent think their mother-in-law is right.

'Dads need to get out of bed in the early hours and pull their weight'

HolyPagan
Feb 26, 2010, 03:36 PM
http://health.infoniac.com/most_common_health_problems_new_moms.html

Most Common Health Problems of New Moms

For many women motherhood is associated with feelings of joy and happiness. Having a baby affects your emotional and physical health in many ways. Dealing with body changes, tiredness and sleep deprivation, depression and problems in sex life can be hard especially during the first months after childbirth. What are the most common health problems of new mothers and how can you improve your health to feel the excitement of motherhood in full?
Fatigue
Continuous feeling of tiredness is well-known to most new moms. Dramatic changes in your life that appeared with a new member of your family can bring not only joys of motherhood, but physical and emotional exhaustion. You may also feel helpless in this situation as taking care of your baby and supporting your physical reserves can be quite difficult.
Tips:

•Eat healthy food to make sure your body gets all the essential nutrients to maintain necessary energy level.
•Do not be ashamed to ask for help your family members and friends. Take some time for yourself. It is enough to spend at least some time without your baby to feel refreshed.
•Moderate exercising can help you fight with chronic fatigue and is a good way to get your body back to its pre-pregnancy state.
Sleep Deprivation
You baby lives according to its own schedule and unfortunately this schedule may not coincide with your daily routine. Sleepless nights and exhaustion can not only undermine your ability to care for your baby, but also affect your health. It is known that sleep deprivation influences your quality of life and overall health, leading to increased risk of such conditions as obesity, heart disease, cancer and diabetes. That's why it is important to maintain good sleep habits.
Tips:

•Sleep when your baby is sleeping throughout the day. It is especially important during the first months after childbirth when your baby is adapting to its new life and you are recovering after giving birth.
•Limit your time spent on TV watching or computer, which can make it difficult for you to relax properly and sleep.
•Some women may choose to co-sleep with their babies, because it is easier for them to breastfeed, but it is recommended to share your opinion on sleep-sharing with your partner.
Postpartum depression
It is not uncommon for new moms to feel depressed after childbirth. The overwhelming responsibility for a baby, tiredness, sleep problems and hormonal changes can lead to postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is a serious condition that affects your health and your ability to care for a baby. It is important to discuss this problem with people close to you to get help.
Tips:

•Keep to healthy habits, eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly.
•Discuss your condition and stay in touch with your friends and family.
•Limit your daily tasks and get more rest. Take some time for yourself and get a walk in the fresh air as often as possible.
•Meet other women, who have babies, to share your interests and concerns.
Weight Gain
One of the most disturbing things for new moms is weight gain after childbirth. Women gain weight during pregnancy to support their health and their baby's development. It takes two to twelve months after childbirth for most women to return to their pre-pregnancy weight. In some cases it may take a somewhat longer for a new mother to lose weight.
Tips:

•Eating for two is not necessary for a breastfeeding mom. You need only 500 extra calories a day to meet the breastfeeding demands.
•It is important to get all the nutrients, keeping to a well-balanced diet, including proteins, fat and carbohydrates, during nursing.
•Lose weight slowly as rapid weight loss is not good for your and your baby's health. Nursing moms may notice that breastfeeding helps them lose weight faster.
Sex problems
For many women getting back to their sex life can be difficult and distressing. The most common sex problems after childbirth are pain during intercourse, lack of vaginal lubrication due to decreased levels of hormones and low sex drive. Also many women just feel too exhausted to have sex, which adds to the existent sex problems.
Tips:

•Do not force things up, as it can take some time before sex becomes pleasurable for you.
•Use personal lubricants especially if you have vaginal dryness to make sex more enjoyable.
•Try some alternatives to sexual intercourse, like oral sex, erotic massage or manual stimulation.
•Ask your partner for longer foreplay or talk about other ways to connect intimately for better arousal.

First-lady
Feb 26, 2010, 03:39 PM
Bikonu it's not like anyone is going to die for lack of it.
It's not jollof rice jor:D

Obugi
Feb 26, 2010, 03:41 PM
All,

Yes, let's "editorialize" on the value of protecting "toto" from further damage.

Only doctors will know how to handle this tender punani. :lol:

Most Nigerian women are only "managing" the husbands they settled for after loosing out in the competition for the man they really wanted. Some simply aren't bold enough to go for what they want. At the point when they accept their loss and get married to some guy they don't really like, the only thing they really want is to have children before the clock runs out on their shriveling ovaries.

After the man has performed his function of impregnating them - that is if he's is lucky her Pastor, boss or ex-boyfriend didn't do it for him - most of these women loose interest in their husbands. After that it's pretend-I'm-Happy-to-be-Mrs and then vent their venomous hatred on men as they spend a lifetime getting ready for widow gang rape initiation.

People will do what they have to do!

!Get Yours!
Obugi.

First-lady
Feb 26, 2010, 03:45 PM
What is the ideal amount of sex for couples with young children?

It depends on the couple in question and their abilities and availabilities
There is no set rule
3 times a week seems Ok IMHO
The man should leave her alone jor, she is nursing a new born, haba!
The woman probably doesn't feel good about her changed body at this time so sex is not the first thing on her mind.
If the man likes Bj's like them all, let her give it to him ,it takes just a few mins so she can go to sleep.
That would be my honest sincere advice.

First-lady
Feb 26, 2010, 03:53 PM
HP,I like your posts up there.
There are other ways for couples to enjoy themselves besides the traditional,conventional way and they should explore those at this time and everyone is happy.
Has this man never heard of the numbers 6 and 9?

Obugi
Feb 26, 2010, 04:05 PM
Lateesha,

You're a true ogbonje madam. Very practical, good ideas on how to manage the situation.


It depends on the couple in question and their abilities and availabilities
There is no set rule
3 times a week seems Ok IMHO

Reasonable, very. No reproach, abuse or insult of the man. Hmmmm.


The man should leave her alone jor, she is nursing a new born, haba!

Oooops, wrote too soon. Indeed, the man is a sex crazed maniac. Rapist. Police, where are you?


The woman probably doesn't feel good about her changed body at this time so sex is not the first thing on her mind.

Hmmm. I wonder what is. Cooking?


If the man likes Bj's like them all, let her give it to him ,it takes just a few mins so she can go to sleep.
That would be my honest sincere advice.

Her mouth should be busy scolding him for being a sex crazed maniac, after which she can scream "RAPE" so the police can bring their guns and enforce her right to protect "punani" from further damage. Besides, her Pastor must have first rights to taste and sprinkle his Holy Water to certify it as ready for the Lord's Work of further "fruitfullness and multiplication"!

Does this man not have any pride, money or sex appeal at all?

Valteena, sincere question.

How attractive is this man? How dependent is he on his wife to pay the mortgage? Can he afford child support payments? Peoples real motives are determined by such practical considerations. If the man has the ability to get sex outside I'm sure he will give punani time to heal.

We can't give good advice in absence of concrete data. How am I supposed to give prescription and recommendation without facts?

!Get Yours!
Obugi.

Equipper
Feb 26, 2010, 06:50 PM
There are several rewind/reset stages in a woman's life cycle; however each of these reset stages affect her in ways men have not come to appreciate for the very simple reason that we are built differently in every sense of the word. (That is why when I hear these feminist singing their song of gender equality it just makes me laugh; but that's a story for another day).

From puberty comes the ovulation period which is the signal that the body is now ready for conception. However, when there is no sperm to fertilize the egg in the young lady nature steps in and hits the reset button which results in her menstrual cycle. Menstruation is nothing more than a disappointed womb crying because it could not fulfill its created function (I'm being poetic here).The menstrual cycle profoundly impacts the female's psychology due to hormonal activities as well as her physiology and anatomy. For that very reason women during this reset period can be in states of pains, restlessness, frustration, and outright discomfort (some have it more severe than others). Not many men understand the severe psychological, emotional and physiological distress of women at this time.I want you to keep what I said about men's lack of a sympathetic understanding of the mental state of women during their menstrual trauma.

This lady is now married and has become pregnant. Pregnancy introduces a host of changes in this woman's body. Hormonal changes again, physiological and anatomical changes; lest I forget understand that these hormones affect her psychology in ways that we can never fully appreciate. A life is growing inside of her, a foreign entity which heretofore her body has never known. Her body must adjust to this new development while there is also a war going on in her womb(during the early stages of the pregnancy) to dispel this foreign entity that has started a life of its own in her womb. For nine months or less or sometimes more than nine months depending on unpredictable factors, her body undergoes changes on these orders: Physiological and anatomical: her bodies grows in size to accommodate the growing baby; her pelvic bones and lower joint undergo some change as the pregnancy reaches full term. Then, comes the baby!!!


With the coming of the baby nature hits the reset button. This time, the reset take a lot longer and involves a lot more than the menstrual reset activity. Imagine nine months of intense and incremental changes in he body, mind, and spirit of this one human being which she had to endure. May I point out that in some cases women have died because they could not handle the sheer power of traumatic changes that overwhelmed their bodies. The seriousness of pregnancy and its associated dangers is appreciated by African peoples such that when a woman is pregnant there are specific things that are out of bounds for her; these taboos are intended to protect her and the unborn child from harm. Also when a woman gives birth, African peoples rejoice greatly for her safe delivery and for the new born child.

When this baby is born after nine tortuous months, her body must return to it normal state. Hormones must recede to normal levels, blood pressure must too; the pelvic and other anatomical elements must return to normal. Even the birth canal which has been subjected to immense trauma must heal. All of this takes time. While all of these readjustments are taking place the maternal instinct kicks in in heavy doses. The mother is emotionally consumed with her baby while at the same time coming to terms with another development; lactating breasts, and learning how live out her maternal instincts. This process of recovery may cover a period of four to six months. The last thing on her mind during this period of recovery and heightened maternal instinct, is having sex. Here again men don't get it)

In some African cultures a man is not supposed to touch his wife until the child is weaned. This could be from four to six months depending on the culture. During this period the husband may "go to another stream to have his bath."(I am being poetic again) If on the other hand he has other wives, so much the better. The modern day African will do his do any way.


[B]How Should His Needs be Serviced if He will not go outside?
[B]If the husband only thinks about fulfilling his desires and ignores what she is going through, he is simply selfish. The whole concept here is making love and not just having sex. So if the woman is not emotionally ready the man should be able to make adjustments accordingly. On the other hand like my people say "There are many ways to kill a cat" meaning that the couple should be creative enough to make sure that "Jack stays happy at home" or else. (This is not the place to go into details about the ways the woman can put Jack to sleep while preserving the harmony in the home.

Interestingly when the woman has given birth and nature starts resetting her; her looks alone sets her man on fire. That is why she needs to be creative, if not inventive to make sure that she helps calm his fiery nerves; and there are ways to do this.

purple
Feb 27, 2010, 07:44 PM
Obugi,

na wa for u. Wetin nigerian women and pastors do you? abeg try to forgive.

Moving along, new mothers and even old mothers sef use the Not Tonight Baby card as needed. No shame in that. Any woman or man that signs up for momogamy knows that everyday can't be christmas :D. You take what you can get, when you can get it. A long cold shower always helps out during times of lean rations.

From the articles posted by HP, I am not suprised that many men sleep or pretend to sleep thru the baby's midnight fussings. I soldiered on alone as best as I could feeding my babies in the wee hours. At other times I would resort to applying a sharp elbow to Papa Bomboy's ribcage. When I felt overwhelmed, I would just leave baby and im papa in the bedroom and go sleep in another room just to recover from sleep deprivation.

Overall, it is a temporary phase and no one should let it ruin an otherwise great relationship.

HolyPagan
Feb 27, 2010, 08:20 PM
Obugi,

na wa for u. Wetin nigerian women and pastors do you? abeg try to forgive.



hehehe..water don pass gari since...no need to implore him, make him and him bitterness continue to soldier on. They are a match made in heaven.

Bill Carson
Feb 28, 2010, 02:34 AM
http://www.huliq.com/34108/new-mothers-get-only-three-hours-sleep-or-less-each-night

New mothers get only three hours' sleep or less each night

Survey reveals most new mothers get only three hours' sleep or less each night Fathers get twice as much and only a quarter even wake when their baby cries Shattered parents' relationships suffer and 94 per cent of mums prefer sleep to sex

By Maria Croce

LACK of sleep can lead to serious relationship rows and ongoing tiredness at work when new parents return to their jobs, a new survey has revealed.

The poll for Mother & Baby Magazine and Huggies, shows that half of all mums with a new baby say sleep starvation has put their relationship under strain and caused rows, with one in 10 admitting they've almost split up. Not surprisingly, 94 per cent of modern mums say they prefer sleep to sex.

Mums in Scotland only get on average three hours sleep a night, while their partner still manages to clock up seven hours. However loudly babies cry somehow they don't seem to wake up men. Only 23 per cent of dads wake up when their baby cries, a further 24 per cent only wake up after a hefty nudge and 63 per cent simply slumber on.

Dads in Scotland are the most likely in the UK to help put baby to bed but 56 per cent hardly ever or never get up to help settle the baby during the night. Scots, in particular, are fans of hi-tech gadgets to monitor babies. Around 17 per cent rig up a video monitor of their baby in its cot and 77 per cent buy a two-way baby alarm.

But monitors that are meant to put parents' minds at rest can mean mums never switch off from their babies.

And mums who return to work in Scotland during the first year of motherhood are the most likely to say they have to take days off due to sleep deprivation.

Dads in Scotland are the most likely to drink alcohol in a bid to get more sleep, while one in 10 wears ear plugs.

But on the positive side, mums in Scotland are most likely to have a willing mum or mum-in-law who will look after the baby overnight and give them time off to catch up on sleep.

According to the research, in our own parents' day mums enjoyed six hours sleep, managing without all mod cons.

Lack of sleep seems to be one of the biggest problems for new mums, with three hours being the average during the first four months - but 30 per cent get even less than this. And mums still only average five hours sleep a night when their baby is 18 months old.

The research also shows a relationship is twice as likely to fall apart following the arrival of a baby if the mum gets less than four hours sleep a night.

Elena Dalrymple, editor of Mother & Baby Magazine says: "Just as a watched kettle never boils, so a watched baby never sleeps and rigging up baby monitors could be a step too far. The pressure parents find themselves under is enormous, especially mums.

"It is primarily mums who do the night time baby duty yet many are also back at work full-time by the time baby is six months. Dads need to get out of bed in the early hours and pull their weight.

"Ultimately, parents-to-be have no idea how the lack of sleep a baby brings will devastate their lives. If you're only getting three hours sleep night after night and sometimes less, you'll most likely take your frustration and anger out on your partner.

"It's amazing so many relationships survive the onslaught of a baby, although sadly, some never recover.

"It's shameful so many dads don't get up during the night because, if parents work as a team they can get through this difficult time more harmoniously."

MUM'S THE WORD

SIX out of 10 grandmas appear to have plenty of advice on getting baby to bed. This include leaving the baby to cry, giving the baby a dummy and putting the baby on solids earlier. However only 22 per cent of mums think their mother's advice is right and only five per cent think their mother-in-law is right.

'Dads need to get out of bed in the early hours and pull their weight'LilOldLady,

Valteena asked a simple question on how many times should a woman submit to a husband's rightfully owned property….. you decided to write a text book on the subject, only Lateesha tried answering/addressing Valteena's desperate cry for help on behalf of her friend (allegedly)……… ;)

Obugi
Feb 28, 2010, 04:30 AM
Purple,


Obugi,

na wa for u. Wetin nigerian women and pastors do you? abeg try to forgive.



I should be asking what Nigerian men did to you all? Or rather shouldn't you be asking your feminist sisters?

That we're good enough only for "management"?

That an African tribe can be FALSELY accused by a woman of using culturally mandated ritual gang rape to initiate their women into widowhood?

Who was it that called African men brutes in loinclothes with spears while the ladies cheered?

Need I go on? You haven't read such things on NVS? I still have to get that punani though, so I do pick my battles, believe me. No worry about me, I'm very satisfied with MY women. :hail:

!Get Yours!
Obugi.

valteena
Feb 28, 2010, 09:53 AM
Valteena

She needs to sit him down be really honest with him. tell him how she is feeling, how tired and worn out she is, after taking care of his two kids. She needs to be calm and firm with it but also apperciate the guy is asking and complaining he is not getting enough sex at home ,other men will seek it elsewhere. She can also compromise that part I not fit explain for here:D

On a more serious note she needs to listen to him and he needs to listen to her .Why were they not having sex during the pregnancy self? it does not hurt the baby.

I honestly feel they both need to found a common ground before it gets too late.

I know the question was what is everybody else doing. however you have heard of do what I say not what I do ke:lol::lol:

{Beam at home celebrating Muhammeds birthday mode}:p

I absolutely concur with you Beamy they need to talk with each other. And according to her they have talked about it. That's why she knew that the man thinks five times a week is what is ideal while she thinks otherwise. It seem to me that while they are talking, they're both not able to listen to and taking in each other's need. And how do they go about doing this in practical terms?.

valteena
Feb 28, 2010, 09:58 AM
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/11/14/1037080849465.html
No sex please, we're mothers

AS SEX surveys go, this was a shocker. But the papers buried the biggest surprise. "Sex is less frequent after a baby," screeched one headline (you don't say?). "New mums have less sex," said another. But the truly amazing nugget they missed - according to the research by Prima Baby magazine - was that new mothers are apparently having an astonishing four sex sessions a month.

Never mind that they had been doing it 10 times a month before they got pregnant, or even that they had done it five times while expecting. It's not so much the drop in frequency that's surprising as the fact they're still doing it at all, never mind once a week.

This is the unpalatable truth about having a baby: when you've just had one, you don't want sex. Not for a long time, anyway. OK, we have all heard about the friend of a friend who came home from hospital feeling so horny she couldn't wait for the baby to settle down so she could jump into the sack, but for the vast majority, childbirth is not a valid form of foreplay.
The most immediate reason is also the most obvious: having a baby hurts like hell, and even if you are in the increasingly small minority who have a straightforward, intervention-free delivery, your vagina and perineum are sore for weeks afterwards. After an instrumental delivery and/or an episiotomy or cut, the trauma to your vaginal tissues is much worse and the discomfort can persist for longer.

Despite hospital ads in the United States that encourage mothers-to-be to "keep yourself honeymoon-fresh with a caesarean", you are kidding yourself if you think you will quickly return to your normal sexual form after a surgical delivery. After my caesarean I felt as though I would split in half if I sneezed, laughed or coughed: when the only thing that isn't agony is lying absolutely still, sex is a bit of a no-no.


It isn't, of course, just the physical fallout of giving birth that makes sex so unappealing. Few new mothers feel like making love because when you have got a baby, your every instinct is directed towards cuddling, loving and caring for this new little person. The big old person who was instrumental in her conception may still be important, but your baby has taken centre stage. Having sex, for a while at least, seems irrelevant. As one respondent in the Prima Baby survey wrote, sex is quite simply "the last thing on your mind".

For some couples, too, there is a complication caused by an overload of medical intervention in the process of pregnancy and childbirth. Couples who have had to resort to assisted conception methods, for example, often report feeling as though sex has become a "medicalised" process in which they are monitored, injected, tested and prodded. Even those who have been trying to have a baby naturally say that having sex in order to conceive can seem like a chore rather than a pleasure, and there may be a knock-on effect after the birth.

Last year, another survey on relationships after childbirth, carried out by the website Mumsnet, asked new parents why they were having sex less often than before. Only 1 per cent said it was because sex was painful, suggesting that childbirth injuries are usually short-term, while 22 per cent put it down to "lack of libido" and 62 per cent said it was because of tiredness.

British psychosexual therapist Julia Cole says the mistake a lot of couples make after the birth of a baby is to try to return to having "normal' intercourse as quickly as possible. She suggests to clients that they go back to the kind of physical relationship they had when they were first going out together, before they started having sex, and let things develop from there.

"What you find is that couples stop touching because they're afraid they're inviting sex and that isn't what they necessarily want," she says.

"But it's important to keep being affectionate to one another because that keeps you close and keeps your relationship warm. Don't think solely in terms of intercourse - there are a lot of other ways to have a fun and enjoyable sex life. Often the most difficult thing is to organise a bit of uninterrupted time when you know you won't be disturbed by the baby crying or needing you."

Too often, she says, couples wait until bedtime, when they are both exhausted, to turn their thoughts to sex. Other times of the day, perhaps during the baby's afternoon nap, can be a more sensible time to have an intimate half-hour together.

Cole agrees that one issue this research raises is how men's sexual urges tend to be taken as the "norm". After all, if it was left to women to decide when to resume sex after childbirth, would we be doing it four times a month, despite being exhausted with an infant and still sore after giving birth?

HP this is very enlightening I must say. Ta. Methink men already are aware of these physical and emotional challenges pregnant and news mothers have to deal with. Could it be that some are just too engrossed with wanting to satisfy their sexual needs to give a toss or consideration to their women's challenges.

valteena
Feb 28, 2010, 10:28 AM
It depends on the couple in question and their abilities and availabilities
There is no set rule
3 times a week seems Ok IMHO
The man should leave her alone jor, she is nursing a new born, haba!
The woman probably doesn't feel good about her changed body at this time so sex is not the first thing on her mind.
If the man likes Bj's like them all, let her give it to him ,it takes just a few mins so she can go to sleep.
That would be my honest sincere advice.

Lateesha does BJ not require some sort of effort too. I mean if you have the energy for BJ why not for the main, the main too;). For a nursing woman too exhausted for sex, BJ would probably be the last thing she wants to indulge in too. I agree with you that 3 times seems reasonable given the fact that she is a nursing mother but the hubby doesn't think so and that is the koko of the matter my sister:).

valteena
Feb 28, 2010, 10:47 AM
Lateesha,

You're a true ogbonje madam. Very practical, good ideas on how to manage the situation.



Reasonable, very. No reproach, abuse or insult of the man. Hmmmm.



Oooops, wrote too soon. Indeed, the man is a sex crazed maniac. Rapist. Police, where are you?



Hmmm. I wonder what is. Cooking?



Her mouth should be busy scolding him for being a sex crazed maniac, after which she can scream "RAPE" so the police can bring their guns and enforce her right to protect "punani" from further damage. Besides, her Pastor must have first rights to taste and sprinkle his Holy Water to certify it as ready for the Lord's Work of further "fruitfullness and multiplication"!

Does this man not have any pride, money or sex appeal at all?

Valteena, sincere question.

How attractive is this man? How dependent is he on his wife to pay the mortgage? Can he afford child support payments? Peoples real motives are determined by such practical considerations. If the man has the ability to get sex outside I'm sure he will give punani time to heal.

We can't give good advice in absence of concrete data. How am I supposed to give prescription and recommendation without facts?

!Get Yours!
Obugi.


Obugi your thought process never seizes to amaze me lol;) While according to you men will be men and play away, does it occur to you that there are men who will not even though they are probably in the minority. And its got nothing to do with anything limiting them from doing so.

Anyway to answer your question, none of the above limitations apply to the man in question. He is TDH, and very comfortable in life with a high earning power in his profession. So I'm waiting to get that "good advice" (God help me :) from you lol

Equipper
Feb 28, 2010, 11:06 AM
I absolutely concur with you Beamy they need to talk with each other. And according to her they have talked about it. That's why she knew that the man thinks five times a week is what is ideal while she thinks otherwise. It seem to me that while they are talking, they're both not able to listen to and taking in each other's need. And how do they go about doing this in practical terms?.

The handwriting is on the wall, if they have discussed this and he refuses to budge, the man has an agenda; he already found another "stream" to take his bath. He only wants an excuse: "well I am a man and have needs, but you my wife have refused to meet my needs." He will go out there to do his do period.

valteena
Feb 28, 2010, 11:22 AM
In some African cultures a man is not supposed to touch his wife until the child is weaned. This could be from four to six months depending on the culture. During this period the husband may "go to another stream to have his bath."(I am being poetic again) If on the other hand he has other wives, so much the better. The modern day African will do his do any way.
[/COLOR]


Very interesting and apt point you've drawn out here Equipper. Meaning that there is no gainsaying that women sexual libido is more likely to do a nose dive during this period and our tradition appreciates this and sort of took care of this especiall with regards to the men. But in this day and age of one man one wife and playing out is seen as infidelity/unfaithfulness what then?



How Should His Needs be Serviced if He will not go outside?

The million dollar question and I hope you have a good answer from a man's perspective but also take the woman's interest into account?


If the husband only thinks about fulfilling his desires and ignores what she is going through, he is simply selfish. The whole concept here is making love and not just having sex. So if the woman is not emotionally ready the man should be able to make adjustments accordingly. On the other hand like my people say "There are many ways to kill a cat" meaning that the couple should be creative enough to make sure that "Jack stays happy at home" or else. (This is not the place to go into details about the ways the woman can put Jack to sleep while preserving the harmony in the home.

Interestingly when the woman has given birth and nature starts resetting her; her looks alone sets her man on fire. That is why she needs to be creative, if not inventive to make sure that she helps calm his fiery nerves; and there are ways to do this.

Umm!!!! okay good take but can you be more specific:) Just teasing lol

Equipper
Feb 28, 2010, 11:39 AM
HP this is very enlightening I must say. Ta. Methink men already are aware of these physical and emotional challenges pregnant and news mothers have to deal with. Could it be that some are just too engrossed with wanting to satisfy their sexual needs to give a toss or consideration to their women's challenges.

I think some men are just plain ignorant of the post delivery challenges their women are experiencing. In Africa the whole process of pregnancy,labor, and delivery is confined to the woman's world. A man is not allowed into the room where his wife is giving birth. Unlike the West, the man is involved from day one up to delivery where he is expected to be in the delivery room supporting his wife while she gives birth. In the west, the couple may even receive professional counsel from the doctor as to when they can start having normal sex etc etc. African men do not have this orientation given cultural considerations which has left the African man severely handicapped in so far as knowledge of a woman's post delivery trauma is concerned. Consequently, he is primed to behave the way does; mostly out of ignorance.

Another viable explanation is that when testosterone kicks in, a man may temporarily go insane and may even behave like a beast. It takes a disciplined man to deal with the upsurge of this very potent hormone.

Beam
Feb 28, 2010, 12:27 PM
I absolutely concur with you Beamy they need to talk with each other. And according to her they have talked about it. That's why she knew that the man thinks five times a week is what is ideal while she thinks otherwise. It seem to me that while they are talking, they're both not able to listen to and taking in each other's need. And how do they go about doing this in practical terms?.


Val,

They need to keep talking and listening to each other, However this is something the wife can try I know for a fact it worked with someone quite close to me:wink: .One saturday when her husband is home assuming he is a 9-5 guy who has his weekends to himself. she needs to leave both kids with him all day a good time will be when the baby is teething and quite cranky:D leave the milk, if breast feeding express enough that will get him through to around 5.30, then go out get pampered and do some shopping for herself, then go home with a take away take over from the husband just to put the kids to bed then turn the tables on him be all romantic and up for it:lol::lol: see how he feels if he says he is tired she should keep pressuring him guess what? if he is smart he will get the message and that will be the end of the issue:rose: cause he now knows how she feels and will be grateful for the three times he is getting it now.:):):)

netotse
Feb 28, 2010, 12:51 PM
@HP
thanks for your posts, hopefully i'll be able to remember all this when i marry

@valteena
maybe your friend should print out some of HPs posts for her husband to read.

@beam
i also like the suggestion in your latest post

thinking to myself: kai, i'm not married, i shouldnt even be reading such things

Equipper
Feb 28, 2010, 01:03 PM
Val,

They need to keep talking and listening to each other, However this is something the wife can try I know for a fact it worked with someone quite close to me:wink: .One saturday when her husband is home assuming he is a 9-5 guy who has his weekends to himself. she needs to leave both kids with him all day a good time will be when the baby is teething and quite cranky:D leave the milk, if breast feeding express enough that will get him through to around 5.30, then go out get pampered and do some shopping for herself, then go home with a take away take over from the husband just to put the kids to bed then turn the tables on him be all romantic and up for it:lol::lol: see how he feels if he says he is tired she should keep pressuring him guess what? if he is smart he will get the message and that will be the end of the issue:rose: cause he now knows how she feels and will be grateful for the three times he is getting it now.:):):)

I suspect it worked like magic.

valteena
Feb 28, 2010, 01:27 PM
Val,

They need to keep talking and listening to each other, However this is something the wife can try I know for a fact it worked with someone quite close to me:wink: .One saturday when her husband is home assuming he is a 9-5 guy who has his weekends to himself. she needs to leave both kids with him all day a good time will be when the baby is teething and quite cranky:D leave the milk, if breast feeding express enough that will get him through to around 5.30, then go out get pampered and do some shopping for herself, then go home with a take away take over from the husband just to put the kids to bed then turn the tables on him be all romantic and up for it:lol::lol: see how he feels if he says he is tired she should keep pressuring him guess what? if he is smart he will get the message and that will be the end of the issue:rose: cause he now knows how she feels and will be grateful for the three times he is getting it now.:):):)


Nice one there Beamy:clap:. But supposing, just supposing o say after all that baby sitting and all, the man still had the strenght for sex nko:)? Se bi dem talk say when it comes to sex man thing no dey tire reach make e no tanda for action. Abi na lie?

emj
Feb 28, 2010, 04:31 PM
Val,

They need to keep talking and listening to each other, However this is something the wife can try I know for a fact it worked with someone quite close to me:wink: .One saturday when her husband is home assuming he is a 9-5 guy who has his weekends to himself. she needs to leave both kids with him all day a good time will be when the baby is teething and quite cranky:D leave the milk, if breast feeding express enough that will get him through to around 5.30, then go out get pampered and do some shopping for herself, then go home with a take away take over from the husband just to put the kids to bed then turn the tables on him be all romantic and up for it:lol::lol: see how he feels if he says he is tired she should keep pressuring him guess what? if he is smart he will get the message and that will be the end of the issue:rose: cause he now knows how she feels and will be grateful for the three times he is getting it now.:):):)

All should read the above and learn. It's never easy for those in away countries cos of lack of real help. If they were back home in Nigeria would have availed themselves of the services of a maid and other household help to take the pressure off the woman in terms of housework and taking care of the two children.

I've seen some women make the mistake that after all the man can see that they are flat out tired running around like headless chicken to keep the house in order and take good care of the children, with hardly enough time for the Big Baby....some men dont know and might never till their eyes of understanding is made open(train ur man...no disrespect meant):eek:

Never make the mistake of directing all attention to the children and neglecting your other baby..ur husband. It's not easy to juggle all, but with a loving husband and good housekeeping skills will succeed.
Just to digress a bit...i remembered calling up a friend sometime 2yrs ago when the wife has just given birth just to touch base with him..and was impressed when i asked after the wife and baby and he told me that the wife and his mum who was around to help were sleeping and the baby was on his chest as we talk...she's asleep...that to me is a real friend and husband who knows and understands...some men dont know what to do hence the lack of understanding. Like Beam rightly posted up there, not till he's left with the baby for like 24hrs, he's wont understand how tiring it can be taking care of young children. Also that being said....always make sure that the children sleep in their own bed and not urs......so the big baby can see and know that no one is encroaching on his turf(no turf war..lol)

When there's understanding, there wont be schedule for how many times a week u can have sex...u can have it as many times as possible in unique ways a week(love making without sex..can be interesting and priceless)....meaning that when u're into each other(not holding back ur feelings and he's also free with his..no shame). When u tell him you're tired, he will understand. Let him know what you've been dealing with since morning(dont whine)..and also allow him to partake in taking care of the children...teach him if he doesnt know how to change the diaper, make formula(or make use of the expressed milk)...find unique ways of doing that without him feeling that you're forcing him. Speak out when u're sick, dont just manage..let him take care of the children when u're sick...nothing untowards will happen to them, let him make mistakes and correct him in a loving way when u find out.:cool:

Post natal care is very important. Learn to take proper care of urself in other to heal physically and mentally. Some people dont like to be touched and might be off sex for a while, whilst others are ready to go two weeks after inspite of having to breast feed their babies and take care of all...no one cap fits all. Love-making is not all about sex, hence the need to know each other well enough and understand each other to the point of being able read how ur spouse feels and take care of each other's needs without saying a word.

All in all good communication is crucial...speak out always:wink:

Obugi
Feb 28, 2010, 05:00 PM
Valteena,


Obugi your thought process never seizes to amaze me lol;)

You will cease to be amazed if you know one thing about me: I hate hypocrisy. I can't stand it, even in real life people know for the most part, I'm down for the real. Yes, in real life you have to bow to expectations and propriety sometimes, but I see what I see, do what I have to do and act on what I know. What I see and know to be true or can make a rational guess at. Abegi no smoke and mirrors and idiotic mannerisms.

And I must say I totally respect your thinking process. You tend to be FAIR and REALISTIC in your comments. Totally unusual around NVS, and for whatever reason it turns me on. Please don't stop. :drool:


While according to you men will be men and play away, does it occur to you that there are men who will not even though they are probably in the minority. And its got nothing to do with anything limiting them from doing so.

Thank you. As usual, you've said what is TRUE, so let's go from there. I'll address the minority you speak of, those limited by love, I guess! :lol:


Anyway to answer your question, none of the above limitations apply to the man in question. He is TDH, and very comfortable in life with a high earning power in his profession. So I'm waiting to get that "good advice" (God help me :) from you lol

For this man there is really no good advice, only bad options.

1. The toto is tired, agreed, I will let it rest. Does madam possess any digital dexterity at all....and I'm not talking computers. If yes, is she willing or is she totally and completely exhausted?

2. Listen to Lateesha. We love that head! Is she too tired for that too? Game over then, except going solo.

3. Talk to the hand, talk to the hand.....while taking a long, hot or is it cold....shower.

4. Go without, knowing it's only for a while....assuming his wife loves him for real. Well, he is TDH(?) so this may well be true.

FACT: no one is physically harmed from going without sex for long periods. Mentally, another story but still nothing really bad. Going without sex isn't so bad. I can tell you from experience that pent up sexual energy and tension can make for an intense experience when the time does come to poke that punani again.

Valteena.....was that helpful? Nothing out of the ordinary, I hope!

Be well....and

!Get Yours!
Obugi.

okorodudu4eva
Feb 28, 2010, 05:08 PM
[QUOTE=HolyPagan;433998•Try some alternatives to sexual intercourse, like oral sex, erotic massage or manual stimulation.[/QUOTE]

Giving wifey an erotic massage 3 times a week should quickly make randy hubby quit talking about his needs. Massage no easy, trust me. After the massage his shoulders and wrists will hurt, he will be soaked in sweat and sex will be the last thing on his mind. If wifey wishes to be kind she should then be a "headmistress" and compensate him for his effort. If she's not sure where his 3rd leg may have been or is averse to the taste she could ask him to wear a raincoat.

Beam
Feb 28, 2010, 05:28 PM
Giving wifey an erotic massage 3 times a week should quickly make randy hubby quit talking about his needs. Massage no easy, trust me. After the massage his shoulders and wrists will hurt, he will be soaked in sweat and sex will be the last thing on his mind. If wifey wishes to be kind she should then be a "headmistress" and compensate him for his effort.

If she's not sure where his 3rd leg may have been or is averse to the taste she could ask him to wear a raincoat.

Just to add to that point there are raincoats in different flavours too :wink::D

okorodudu4eva
Feb 28, 2010, 06:09 PM
Just to add to that point there are raincoats in different flavours too :wink::D

.... and to think I thot Beamy was a sweet naive young lady?! ;) ;)

oluomo
Mar 1, 2010, 09:46 AM
.... and to think I thot Beamy was a sweet naive young lady?! ;) ;)

Biko See me see trouble o. Me self I weak o my brother!;):D:razz:

sweet sensation
Mar 1, 2010, 11:06 AM
Haba, make men take am easy ohh!If they can help out more often with d babies and house work, then wives will have more zeal and energy to romp in the sack! na wah oh!una think say we b super human beings? jeje oh!

agensheku
Mar 2, 2010, 09:16 AM
Bikonu it's not like anyone is going to die for lack of it.
It's not jollof rice jor:DIt may not be jollof rice,but it makes the world go round!:phonestly,its a tug of war between new babies and daddies.but an understanding man could assist his wife mind the baby to get sympathy at night.the alternative would be to do "external affairs" and these could bring so many unhappy consequences...ask Tiger Woods.:evil:this thread on how many times couples should have sex reminds me of a dumb lady filling an appointment form in the employment agency.she had been doing nicely with Names,age,address,etc until she got to SEX.she filled SIX TIMES A WEEK!:D:D

Equipper
Mar 2, 2010, 10:21 AM
All should read the above and learn. It's never easy for those in away countries cos of lack of real help. If they were back home in Nigeria would have availed themselves of the services of a maid and other household help to take the pressure off the woman in terms of housework and taking care of the two children.

I've seen some women make the mistake that after all the man can see that they are flat out tired running around like headless chicken to keep the house in order and take good care of the children, with hardly enough time for the Big Baby....some men dont know and might never till their eyes of understanding is made open(train ur man...no disrespect meant):eek:

Never make the mistake of directing all attention to the children and neglecting your other baby..ur husband. It's not easy to juggle all, but with a loving husband and good housekeeping skills will succeed.
Just to digress a bit...i remembered calling up a friend sometime 2yrs ago when the wife has just given birth just to touch base with him..and was impressed when i asked after the wife and baby and he told me that the wife and his mum who was around to help were sleeping and the baby was on his chest as we talk...she's asleep...that to me is a real friend and husband who knows and understands...some men dont know what to do hence the lack of understanding. Like Beam rightly posted up there, not till he's left with the baby for like 24hrs, he's wont understand how tiring it can be taking care of young children. Also that being said....always make sure that the children sleep in their own bed and not urs......so the big baby can see and know that no one is encroaching on his turf(no turf war..lol)

When there's understanding, there wont be schedule for how many times a week u can have sex...u can have it as many times as possible in unique ways a week(love making without sex..can be interesting and priceless)....meaning that when u're into each other(not holding back ur feelings and he's also free with his..no shame). When u tell him you're tired, he will understand. Let him know what you've been dealing with since morning(dont whine)..and also allow him to partake in taking care of the children...teach him if he doesnt know how to change the diaper, make formula(or make use of the expressed milk)...find unique ways of doing that without him feeling that you're forcing him. Speak out when u're sick, dont just manage..let him take care of the children when u're sick...nothing untowards will happen to them, let him make mistakes and correct him in a loving way when u find out.:cool:

Post natal care is very important. Learn to take proper care of urself in other to heal physically and mentally. Some people dont like to be touched and might be off sex for a while, whilst others are ready to go two weeks after inspite of having to breast feed their babies and take care of all...no one cap fits all. Love-making is not all about sex, hence the need to know each other well enough and understand each other to the point of being able read how ur spouse feels and take care of each other's needs without saying a word.

All in all good communication is crucial...speak out always:wink:

My sentiments indeed; couldn't have been more aptly put. I would further emphasize that there is a real dearth of knowledge among some African men on what it means to be supportive husband as well as on the issue of love making. On the one hand some of us think that being a supportive husband in the home somehow diminishes our manhood (how some of arrived at that conclusion beats the living daylight out of me); on the other hand some of us equate love making with sex. As you have rightly suggested, a wise wife can educate her man and gently nudge him into being a supportive husband.

Equipper
Mar 2, 2010, 10:42 AM
Bikonu it's not like anyone is going to die for lack of it.
It's not jollof rice jor:D

You don't sound as though you are giving any measure of consideration to the hubby's needs; bluntly put, you sound dismissive of his needs.
Can you imagine a wife sounding this way to her husband who is dealing with an upsurge in testosterone? I can easily hear him say "I'm not going to die en, OK I'll be back I have a meeting to attend at the..." follow my drift?

A man making such frequent demands for sex from his wife may appear to be so unreasonable but every man behaves in unreasonable ways when that powerful hormone called testosterone kicks in. It is a real need which cannot be dismissed but should be met by the wife's ingenuous use of creative alternatives.

agensheku
Mar 2, 2010, 04:30 PM
You don't sound as though you are giving any measure of consideration to the hubby's needs; bluntly put, you sound dismissive of his needs.
Can you imagine a wife sounding this way to her husband who is dealing with an upsurge in testosterone? I can easily hear him say "I'm not going to die en, OK I'll be back I have a meeting to attend at the..." follow my drift?

A man making such frequent demands for sex from his wife may appear to be so unreasonable but every man behaves in unreasonable ways when that powerful hormone called testosterone kicks in. It is a real need which cannot be dismissed but should be met by the wife's ingenuous use of creative alternatives. Equipper,the Lateesha i read on these and other threads services her Tiger per second,per second!so,dont believe everything you read here.actually,a lot of ladies pretend and say "but its not food now!"dont believe them.:hail:

agensheku
Mar 2, 2010, 04:36 PM
Just to add to that point there are raincoats in different flavours too :wink::DNa wah for some women o!how i go wan enter the flat i paid for and you begin tell me to WIPE YA FEET!raincoat ko,rainboot ne!:p

valteena
Mar 2, 2010, 04:41 PM
Na wah for some women o!how i go wan enter the flat i paid for and you begin tell me to WIPE YA FEET!raincoat ko,rainboot ne!:p

If you dey enter other flat/s, then it is imperative that you wipe ya feet before you enter your own flat now abi you no think so?:)

agensheku
Mar 2, 2010, 04:41 PM
Haba, make men take am easy ohh!If they can help out more often with d babies and house work, then wives will have more zeal and energy to romp in the sack! na wah oh!una think say we b super human beings? jeje oh!No be women talk say dem be the hands that rock our cradles?no be you powerful sotay,you capture a whole executive president,even im mama no fit see am again?na you biko.we be ya pikin,when we cry for our "feeder",give us tire,thank you my dearie!:rose::rose:

First-lady
Mar 2, 2010, 05:04 PM
It may not be jollof rice,but it makes the world go round!:phonestly,its a tug of war between new babies and daddies.but an understanding man could assist his wife mind the baby to get sympathy at night.the alternative would be to do "external affairs" and these could bring so many unhappy consequences...ask Tiger Woods.:evil:this thread on how many times couples should have sex reminds me of a dumb lady filling an appointment form in the employment agency.she had been doing nicely with Names,age,address,etc until she got to SEX.she filled SIX TIMES A WEEK!:D:D


That was funny
I'll use that

okorodudu4eva
Mar 2, 2010, 06:50 PM
Na wah for some women o! how i go wan enter the flat i paid for and you begin tell me to WIPE YA FEET! raincoat ko, rainboot ni!:p

but, my broda, certain levels of hygiene must be maintained now, no be so? person wey don work like okriika wey dey push john-wey cart for road, or labourer wey don carry block for head sote im neck don twist one-kind, im no fit reach flat wey im pay for come say im wan knack madam before taking a bath. u no go want make roaches come plenty for ya flat o, not to mention rats!

First-lady
Mar 2, 2010, 11:05 PM
Equipper,the Lateesha i read on these and other threads services her Tiger per second,per second!so,dont believe everything you read here.actually,a lot of ladies pretend and say "but its not food now!"dont believe them.:hail:

Thank you!


I mentioned something about curtailing my jokes because my humor often flies over people's heads .
I wonder why it was deleted?


You don't sound as though you are giving any measure of consideration to the hubby's needs; bluntly put, you sound dismissive of his needs.
Can you imagine a wife sounding this way to her husband who is dealing with an upsurge in testosterone? I can easily hear him say "I'm not going to die en, OK I'll be back I have a meeting to attend at the..." follow my drift?

A man making such frequent demands for sex from his wife may appear to be so unreasonable but every man behaves in unreasonable ways when that powerful hormone called testosterone kicks in. It is a real need which cannot be dismissed but should be met by the wife's ingenuous use of creative alternatives.

Read that statement again,mr equipper
Whenever you see a big grin at the end of a post,there's usually a reason
There were other more serious posts following the jollof rice joke,did you miss those?
na wa

agensheku
Mar 3, 2010, 07:32 AM
but, my broda, certain levels of hygiene must be maintained now, no be so? person wey don work like okriika wey dey push john-wey cart for road, or labourer wey don carry block for head sote im neck don twist one-kind, im no fit reach flat wey im pay for come say im wan knack madam before taking a bath. u no go want make roaches come plenty for ya flat o, not to mention rats!Truck pushers no dey use raincoat!or you never hear the one who went to family planning clinic with his wife after eight kids and the lady in charge wore the condom on her thumb to demonstrate usage.nine months later,his wife had twins again.:eek:Doctor:haba,you no use your condoms?MAN:na two i dey wear for my hand everytime i nack mama bomboy,e don tire me.she just dey born like pig!:D:D

agensheku
Mar 3, 2010, 07:44 AM
If you dey enter other flat/s, then it is imperative that you wipe ya feet before you enter your own flat now abi you no think so?:)Gone are the days.i am now a fanta-sipping,tv-watching,stay-at-home one woman man,thank you.:rose:the thing wey a lot of men dey find go for sokoto dey inside their shokoto(trousers)pocket.:D

Equipper
Mar 3, 2010, 08:50 AM
Gone are the days.i am now a fanta-sipping,tv-watching,stay-at-home one woman man,thank you.:rose:the thing wey a lot of men dey find go for sokoto dey inside their shokoto(trousers)pocket.:D

You da man!! The real deal.

emj
Jun 22, 2010, 10:20 PM
Gone are the days.i am now a fanta-sipping,tv-watching,stay-at-home one woman man,thank you.:rose:the thing wey a lot of men dey find go for sokoto dey inside their shokoto(trousers)pocket.:D

Ahemmmmm....hmmmmmm