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Anonymous Villager
Jul 24, 2008, 10:51 PM
Hello Villagers,

I have a dilemma. I am been seeing this guy for 2 years and all, everything is going well, but we have a serious issue. We are both abroad, and don't have our pali, we have been recently talking about it, and think it is best we break up ( i think we both love each other, at least we portray and profess it, but whats love got to do with it?).

He suggest that we should both go find alternate solutions to our problems and maybe reconnect later, sound like the wisest thing to do for now.

My fear is that, it will be easier for him as a guy to resolve his issue (i think), but how do I go about this?

I am confused, and I know the hassle I have been thru being iweless

Anonymous Villager
Jul 24, 2008, 10:55 PM
What is your problem? How to keep the guy or how to get paper? :confused1

Soul Sista
Jul 24, 2008, 11:02 PM
I don't understand. What is your palava exactly? Break it down a bit more, please.

Anonymous Villager
Jul 24, 2008, 11:21 PM
What is the palava? To be honest, I am not sure. I guess I am afraid of the unknown.

Where do I start from, I am alone here. I really am not after keeping the relationship, we both have to move on, we were hoping that the lottery would come thru, but not willing to keep hoping on that.

I feel I am holding him back, with my needy and clingy attitude, and I feel he does not want me to feel he is abandoning me .

I am sad because I am very limited as to what I can do and be. Things are hard. I am considering going back home ( I will give it unit the end of the year)

Just offloading my soul.

katampe
Jul 24, 2008, 11:22 PM
Hello Villagers,

I have a dilemma. I am been seeing this guy for 2 years and all, everything is going well, but we have a serious issue. We are both abroad, and don't have our pali, we have been recently talking about it, and think it is best we break up ( i think we both love each other, at least we portray and profess it, but whats love got to do with it?).

He suggest that we should both go find alternate solutions to our problems and maybe reconnect later, sound like the wisest thing to do for now.


My fear is that, it will be easier for him as a guy to resolve his issue (i think), but how do I go about this?

I am confused, and I know the hassle I have been thru being iweless

I am not sure what is hard to understand here. The mama is sad and suspects she might have lost an opportunity to date and have someone she loves since it appears harder for women to get sorted out with pali like men.

So what she asks is, how does she go about resolving pali problem being a woman, and with the hope that she needs to resolve it faster before the man so she can go pick up their relationship where it left from?

Soul is that too hard to understand? Abi, you are too up intellectually, emotionally, socially and legally that you can't connect with the reality that Nigerian women face this dilemma, and not everyone is a legal immigrant?

Anonymous Villager
Jul 24, 2008, 11:47 PM
Mama:confused::lol: find an oyibo and marry and you are sorted. That is what your boyfriend would most likely do. Though his arrangee marrige to a black or white american may cost him some money and also time. If you play your cards well, you may actually get settlement, some mulattos and child support. Na your call.:D

Anonymous Villager
Jul 25, 2008, 12:02 AM
ThANKS KATAMPE YOU SUMMARIZED IT WELL.

Soul Sista
Jul 25, 2008, 12:11 AM
Nonee:

Pele (sorry) o.

I am sorry. You are not the first person to find yourself in this type of situation. So, don't despair because there is nothing new under the sun.

Have you seen immigration counsel in the country where you live? S/he might be able to help you by giving you advice/information to better manage the unknown. There might be issues that you have not considered.

Is there any possibility that you can go back to school?

You seem resigned to nothing good coming out of the situation. Have you prayed about it?

Do you have a Plan B of what to do if you have to go back to Naija?

I know many people do illegal stuff with immigration matters. I won't advise you to do anything that you know is illegal.

Good luck!

Soul Sista a/k/a Soul Sizzling
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* * *

Soul is that too hard to understand? Abi, you are too up intellectually, emotionally, socially and legally that you can't connect with the reality that Nigerian women face this dilemma, and not everyone is a legal immigrant?


Katampe:

I did not know you were a psychiatrist to get into my brain. Even the woman I asked the question answered me, what is your buisness? S'abojo ore oninawo (busy body, i too know)!

I think you are back abi? I thought you had cleansed your system of the chip that always keeps attacking Soul Sista. You are back? Okay, no problem.:D:D:D

Soul Sista a/k/a Soul Sizzling

katampe
Jul 25, 2008, 12:16 AM
Katampe:

I did not know you were a psychiatrist to get into my brain. Even the woman I asked the question answered me, what is your buisness? S'abojo ore oninawo (busy body, i too know)!

I think you are back abi? I thought you had cleansed your system of the chip that always keeps attacking Soul Sista. You are back? Okay, no problem.:D:D:D

Soul Sista a/k/a Soul Sizzling

Back, nbo ? I beg commot for road.

You know I have never gotten you off my radar, you are too amazing and a very special woman not to hold my gaze. But sometimes your grammar is just too much for me that it borders on eccentricity. Reality is what is needed please!

Soul Sista
Jul 25, 2008, 12:25 AM
Back, nbo ? I beg commot for road.

You know I have never gotten you off my radar, you are too amazing and a very special woman not to hold my gaze. But sometimes your grammar is just too much for me that it borders on eccentricity. Reality is what is needed please!

Katampe:

May be I am an eccentric! Have you considered that? In any case, how does it take even 2 Kobo from you?

Okay, please, leave me alone. Is that good enough?

Sotan aboku (Finish, abi)?

Leave me!:D:D:D:D

Soul Sista a/k/a Soul Sizzling

WaleAkin
Jul 25, 2008, 01:01 AM
Hello Villagers,

I have a dilemma. I am been seeing this guy for 2 years and all, everything is going well, but we have a serious issue. We are both abroad, and don't have our pali, we have been recently talking about it, and think it is best we break up ( i think we both love each other, at least we portray and profess it, but whats love got to do with it?).

He suggest that we should both go find alternate solutions to our problems and maybe reconnect later, sound like the wisest thing to do for now.

My fear is that, it will be easier for him as a guy to resolve his issue (i think), but how do I go about this?

I am confused, and I know the hassle I have been thru being iweless
Illegal immigrants are not exempted from getting married here in the UK but you cant do a civil wedding.

If you Guys do love eachother, why not get married at ur local church, get your Pastor's blessing and live happily thereafter!

Do you have a job? If yes, face it squarely and live within ur means pls!

If you live in the UK, be very careful when you get pregnant, the NHS is a bit tight on ante-natal registration especially in the London area now................Get out abit, say the Midlands or Surrey and deliver ur baby there (This is not a right advise from me though but i will do anything to help a stranded Nigerian)

I see alot of pregnant Nigerian Women turned back from the Hospitals cos they dont have the Right To Remain in the UK and it saddens my heart!

Now, back to the main issue, if you really love him, marry him, save enough money(Are you a graduate? If yes, why not try HSMP-Its abit hard now since they started that Nonsense POINTS award!!), why not get a sponsor from Nigeria to help with a Student's visa....................Try all these but pls be safe!!

If you need any help, pls PM me! I sure know the pains when you are Iweless!!

No worry my dear, e go better!!!

katampe
Jul 25, 2008, 01:10 AM
Now, back to the main issue, if you really love him, marry him, save enough money(Are you a graduate? If yes, why not try HSMP-Its abit hard now since they started that Nonsense POINTS award!!), why not get a sponsor from Nigeria to help with a Student's visa....................Try all these but pls be safe!!

AV,

Canada may also be a good option.There is accelerated immigration for people with valuable skills , it is needed in the some parts of the country.You might consider getting those right skills ( the same with your b/f) in the country where you are at if you don't already have them, so the immigration process can be expedited.

Advise your man not to rush into any rash decisions just yet, you can try all sorts of tricks to delay your stay in the present country while you working on the Canada thing if possible.

The other thing is time has the potential of changing immigration rules. If you were in the US, who knows Obama presidency might change the restrictions advocated by the likes of Lou Dobbs.

MsWoman
Jul 25, 2008, 02:18 AM
@AV: Don't do anything silly oh, just wait and God will bring the person to you! Second, you can start praying. Prayer is the only way! God will lead you and put you in the right place at the right time.

@Soul and katampe: You know you love each other abi? Soul if no say you don marry, I for give your hand to katampe ti kpa ti kpa (by force) and if not that katampe don go pay dowry for one of awa NVS sisters I for follow am go market to buy all the necessary things in preparation for mo mi n mo e (introduction). This kain love e wantintin na wah! In fact, I just dey enjoy am! It took me back to elementary school and my plenty toasters. I remember one guy I sat right next to, he used to bring me one bottle of coke everyday (and it betta be coke nothing else, his momsie sold softdrinks). I will take his coke and still do shakara for him well well and refuse to even give him face esp. when I am with my other girlfriends! See me oh! At times I will push him if he was looking over my work, or smack him. One guy (alarena aka amebo) that sat behind will be like why are you beating LO? LO's response: "eeeh, leave her, just leave her! She's just a girl" Can you imagine? At age 9 or 10 oh!!! :lol::lol::lol:

Anonymous Villager
Jul 25, 2008, 03:46 AM
Thanks waleakin and Katampe. I will talk with my boyfriend and we will take it from there. He has a graduate degree, but I dont have one, been trying to get into school but, the hassle is just 3 much.


Very depressed, but you guys are very encouraging. Thanks a bunch

omojeje
Jul 25, 2008, 07:45 AM
If you are in the US and you consider going to school, try Strayer University. I know they have campuses all over and they are pretty good with helping students who have no papers. You may need to save up money to start the school. I will strongly advice you not to enroll in any major that will make getting papers even harder after school.

I wish you all the best.

aringaranso
Jul 25, 2008, 10:07 AM
AV,

Please you can also start with the UK's Working Holiday Maker Scheme,if you are aged 30 or below.


Like Wale suggested HSMP is a good idea,though difficult these days,but there is really no harm in trying.

Your boyfriend may also want to find out more about Scandinavians Schools since education there are basically free.

Check--www.studyinsweden.se (http://studyinsweden.se)

Also,he can try applying for Denmark's Green Card Scheme,being a graduate will enhance his chances.

Check--www.newtodenmark.dk (http://newtodenmark.dk)

All the best

SNB
Jul 25, 2008, 10:23 AM
Mr. Londoner, wetin be HSMP?

Anonymous Villager
Jul 25, 2008, 11:03 AM
Highly skilled migrant programme

Amy
Jul 26, 2008, 08:00 PM
Av,

Where una dey? Kpele o... but no too worry, God dey! Love is more to be cherished than pali o. Returned love is worth the whole world and can not be replaced that easily. No matter what you do... remember love can and will always make a way. Try some of the great options that have been proffered and see where that journey leads you. If na Naija in the end... nothing spoil as long as you guys are on the same page and are weathering the storms of life together.

Returned love is one of the greatest blessings a mortal can be blessed with on earth. Try not to jeopardize what you guys have together and trust God to make a way out of your present predicament. Godf has a way of making all things beautiful in His time, if only we can dare to believe for the miraculous.

Later o.

lionking
Jul 27, 2008, 05:43 AM
AV, if you don't mind the distance from your loved ones in naija, consider you and BF moving to Australia. Distance sef is not too bad these days now there's Emirates flights through Dubai and SA Airways through Jo'burg. They also have a point-based migration system like Canada and I know Nigerians who've done it. If you have a science background, even better. Australia has a very high standard of living and most naijas there seem to be doing well.

denker
Jul 27, 2008, 01:09 PM
Soul is that too hard to understand? Abi, you are too up intellectually, emotionally, socially and legally that you can't connect with the reality that Nigerian women face this dilemma, and not everyone is a legal immigrant?

..right on target(Bull's Eye)...LOL!

Alexa
Jul 28, 2008, 01:19 AM
..right on target(Bull's Eye)...LOL!


Ocho okwu one!!!:D

Anonymous Villager
Jul 28, 2008, 04:48 PM
Thank you all,

I did have a talk with my bf, still little progress, with the options provided in the country we are currently residing, we really still back to square one, He is not thrilled about the idea of relocation. I am still giving him time to think about it sha. I the mean time I, on the other hand, I weighing out the different options.

thanks. You all are very kind. God bless

WaleAkin
Jul 28, 2008, 05:19 PM
Thank you all,

I did have a talk with my bf, still little progress, with the options provided in the country we are currently residing, we really still back to square one, He is not thrilled about the idea of relocation. I am still giving him time to think about it sha. I the mean time I, on the other hand, I weighing out the different options.

thanks. You all are very kind. God bless
If you Guys reside in the UK.............Hang in there pls, there is a high possibility to have an amnesty granted

This is an on-going discussion in the corridors of power!

I keep repeating it, "there's no where to throw 500,000 illegal immigrants in the UK"

If they dont grant an Indefinite right, atleast a limited leave to remain!

I can see it..................AMNESTY is on its way!! The more reason why there is a high level of deportation in the last one year!

Alake
Jul 28, 2008, 11:57 PM
AV, if you don't mind the distance from your loved ones in naija, consider you and BF moving to Australia. Distance sef is not too bad these days now there's Emirates flights through Dubai and SA Airways through Jo'burg. They also have a point-based migration system like Canada and I know Nigerians who've done it. If you have a science background, even better. Australia has a very high standard of living and most naijas there seem to be doing well.
My brother, its even the distance that make us very far from all the evils of this world:lol::lol::lol:

@AV, It is not only science background that have opportunities, I tell you, every area(discipline) has lots of opportunities here in Australia especially in Sydney, since your BF is a graduate check: www.liveinaustralia.com/skilled-visa, www.liveinvictoria.vic.gov.au, www.immi.gov.au (etc).

If you have the money coming in as an international student is also another good option but it requires lots of money though very reliable & probably the fastest (within 6 months) you will be given student visa, If you finish school here, you can work here as well (and live a good life) & apply for PR & it will be given to you live & direct within 2-4yrs.

A man can be the primary applicant while his wife will automatically be given her visa & Vice -versa. Nigerians here are doing very well most people that are already a graduate in Nigeria continue here with their professions and they work with it & those that needs to further their education forge ahead too while those that are not graduate(s) also go back to school.

If you don't mind the distance, honestly Australia is good & the skilled migration programme really works & they will give you Permanent Residency straight (not 2 yrs visas) if you qualify. We came in Through this programme & they don't delay the process unnecessarily, If you are qualify, they will let you know & proceed with the processing. Don't go through any agents for this application, they will only process visiting visas for you & make things difficult for you because they need your money. You can do it yourself.

A Nigerian man is among the top 100 Engineers in Australia, Nigerians are accountants (most of them didn't even further here, they are already graduates), financial controller, engineers, lawyers, IT, just name it.

Australia govt announced at the end of last year that they needed to 6000 skilled migrants to come into Australia this year.

Good luck.

MsWoman
Jul 29, 2008, 12:04 AM
@Alake: What with all the information you provided, me sef don begin consider relocation! Eh-hen? All this for immigrants?

Showcase
Jul 29, 2008, 12:56 AM
Alake will do well in the sales business. All roads lead to Aussie country. I suppose Alake will host us too :lol::D Got enough room?

Alake
Jul 29, 2008, 07:16 AM
Alake will do well in the sales business. All roads lead to Aussie country. I suppose Alake will host us too :lol::D Got enough room?
You are all welcome(with open hands). Rooms? Rooms plenty yanfu yanfu, not a problem at all.

omojeje
Jul 29, 2008, 08:46 AM
You are all welcome(with open hands). Rooms? Rooms plenty yanfu yanfu, not a problem at all.

Alake,
after reading all of these about Australia, I am begining to think of a vacation. Abeg let me know if there be any good place to visit for vacation purposes and what time of the year is the best.

Merci

Oluwato
Jul 30, 2008, 05:35 AM
Thanks waleakin and Katampe. I will talk with my boyfriend and we will take it from there. He has a graduate degree, but I dont have one, been trying to get into school but, the hassle is just 3 much.


Very depressed, but you guys are very encouraging. Thanks a bunch

Try getting a nursing/physical therapy degree... the transition to getting a green card/permanent residence in any first world country is easier with those two degrees.
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Alake,
after reading all of these about Australia, I am begining to think of a vacation. Abeg let me know if there be any good place to visit for vacation purposes and what time of the year is the best.

Merci

Try Perth, I was there in 2004. It's simply beautiful!

Alake
Aug 2, 2008, 03:16 AM
Alake,
after reading all of these about Australia, I am begining to think of a vacation. Abeg let me know if there be any good place to visit for vacation purposes and what time of the year is the best.

Merci

1. Byron Bay, NSW

2. Venice on the yarra, Melbourne

3. Blue Mountains, NSW

4. Magnetic Island Far North Queensland.

5. Esperance, Perth Western Australia

The best time of the year is December - March ( Australia Summer period).

Lotus Flower
Aug 4, 2008, 05:22 AM
1. Byron Bay, NSW

2. Venice on the yarra, Melbourne

3. Blue Mountains, NSW

4. Magnetic Island Far North Queensland.

5. Esperance, Perth Western Australia

The best time of the year is December - March ( Australia Summer period).

Byron Bay - For the hippies and 'Free Love' groupies, health and yoga enthusiasts, and retired rich :razz:

Esperance - what's the update on the lead (PB) contamination from the port activities, about 2 years ago? Lovely beaches though, squeaky white sands.

December may be a tad too hot for those not used to our hot weather, judging from last year, when Christmas was 42-45C. Jan-Feb is brilliant, more tolerable for our visitors. I just love seeing the sun still up at 8pm!

Australia - you gotta love it! :biggrin:

So where the bloody hell are you?!