Knock....Knock....Knock

[Ph3y]

Una good day o.... I just say make i hail all the old papas and mamas in the house....I also brought some bitter kola....I don join tay tay o....But i just thot it's better late than never. so here i am.

[No Smoking]

Welcome O...

Only seh da papas and mamas in dis village no dey glad to hia "old". Dem be proper apostles for da saying: Ol' pipul no dey for Ghana.. :rolleyes: :lol:
_________________________
_________________________

Una good day o.... I just say make i hail all the old papas and mamas in the house....I also brought some bitter kola....I don join tay tay o....But i just thot it's better late than never. so here i am.

Even sef, from March 08 to July 08, na dat wan be tay-tay?? Abi yu no get plan to tanda for hia??

[Abraxas]

Welcome O...

Only seh da papas and mamas in dis village no dey glad to hia "old". Dem be proper apostles for da saying: Ol' pipul no dey for Ghana.. :rolleyes: :lol:
_________________________
_________________________


Even sef, from March 08 to July 08, na dat wan be tay-tay?? Abi yu no get plan to tanda for hia??
Hi, Feyi (JJC)!

I beg, answer de qwexshions wey Mr. No Smoking axe yoo: (1) From Marsh to Julai 2008, dat wan be tay-tay??? (2) Abi, yoo no get plan to tanda for we Village (of origin)?

I dey wait for ya reply-o. I t'ink yoo know sey queue long well-well for Visa Review Office today.

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
Out-going Welcomer-in-Chief & High Commissioner
Chairman, Elders'Forum (Bar & Discotheque)
Director of Propaganda & Enlightenment (D.O.P.E.),
Special Task Force for the Demystification of OBJ, IBB, Murtala Mohammed, Buhari, Abdulsalam Abubakar, David Mark, et al.
Ex-Director of Operations, Tactics, Logistics & Strategy,
Special Task Force for the Effective Evacuation of OBJ from Aso Rock Villa, to Ibogun, in the middle of Nowhere.

[calist]

Feyi way dey tay tay, you are welcome to NVS.

In addition to your questions above why e be say na only bitter kola you carry come for the elders? You hear say we no follow like better thing for this village?

Oya I dey wait for you to tender your partikolas oh

Calist
Chief Visa Review Officer

[wizard]

Welcome ohhh.. make i juz add wan small tin , no be only old papas and mamas full here ohh, so make u mine ya sef well well.. awon fine boys and chicks full ground wella ... su without much ado, see u around the villa :biggrin:

Regards
WZ

[Dimaanu]

Una good day o.... I just say make i hail all the old papas and mamas in the house....I also brought some bitter kola....I don join tay tay o....But i just thot it's better late than never. so here i am.

Hi, Feyi!

Shey na you wan take bitter kola choke "all the old papas and mamas in the house"? Go take your eye see and all of dem dey cough. You no sabi say you supoz bring drink join?

Abeg, shake bodi o!

Welcome to NVS.:D

[elgaxton]

Una good day o.... I just say make i hail all the old papas and mamas in the house....I also brought some bitter kola....I don join tay tay o....But i just thot it's better late than never. so here i am.

feyi,

How u dey?

welcome to NVS! :)

How is everything? Ok o!

Thanks for the kola nut and you fit put small Ose-Oji (pea-nut butter)

becos as young bobo, i no sabi bitter things.

Anyhow sha just relax, answer all the plenty questions

wey dem ask u above then we are good to go.

Welcome once more! :)

Elgaxton

Deputy Director
Village Homeland Security

[Ph3y]

Well, March to July don tey o.......at least am older now than i was in march...lol!!!
Den the reason for bringing bitter kola is that i saw some one with kola already and i thot to give u guys 'variety'. Well drinks will follow shortly......When water co-operation brings water sha o....cos i'll need to wash the glasses first.

[No Smoking]

Well, March to July don tey o.......at least am older now than i was in march.

Mba mba!! Even sef dat neva reach for girl to know whether she pregnant.. :lol: :rolleyes:

[Myne Whitman]

No smoking,

Haba, belle go don big now wetin? LOL...


Feyi,

You are welcome to the square. Looking forward to the jolly after you finish your visa interview with attendant partykolas...

[No Smoking]

No smoking,

Haba, belle go don big now wetin? LOL...


..........

E-hen. I been dey t'ink of yer thread on dat topic. So yu don find da right answer, ko?? :rolleyes:

[Beam]

Una good day o.... I just say make i hail all the old papas and mamas in the house....I also brought some bitter kola....I don join tay tay o....But i just thot it's better late than never. so here i am.

Welcome to the village, the kola nut no plenty oh, i nefer see mine, however i still welcome you to the village, hope you have a nice time hope to see you around.

[sandylomo]

Maazi elgaxton (Director Village Homeland Security) and Ms. Calist (Chief of staff, Due process). Please, do we have any update on the security clearance and synopsis of due process for this applicant? Please revert ASAP.

U na do well!

[elgaxton]

All clear Ma!

[sandylomo]

Hi Feyi{JJC}

You don try!:wink:

Welcome to the final stage of your Visa Interview process.
Please find below, the partykolas that you must present to the Village elders before your Visa will be approved.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The List:

(1) One basket of GENUINE Igboid kola nuts (oji Igbo)

(2) One basket of Arewaesque kola nuts (goro/gworo).

(3) One tiny teaspoon (5ml. max) of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu (without this, you file remains open)

(4) 10 x 50 litres jerry-cans of palmie (pasteurized palm wine powerless).

(5) Isi ewu (with 2 eyes, 1 tongue, and 2 ears per goat head)

(6) Unlimited suyarized and tenderized beef and pork barbeque (for all Villagers and JJCs).

(7) Roasted cocoyam to serve 50 seasoned elders (maximum).

(8) Nigerian omelet (for 50 seasoned elders only.)

(9) 2 crates of Hennessey XO champagne brandy, for His Excellency, Oga Big-K.

(10) 13 crates of Dom Perignon (for 13 very seasoned, kunu-allergic elders).

(11) 100 strings of Jigida beads for the women

(12) 50 tins of Saturday Night powder

(13) 20 wraps of eko (for the toothless elders)

(14) Spicy goatmeat peppersoup

(15) 30 crates of Crush & Mirinda Orange

(16) 50 cartons of Guiness Odeku

(17) 30 cartons of Malta Guiness

(18) 15 bowls of freshly ground Lahli (African tatoo)---reserved for Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB)

(19) 150 miniature jars of Tiro (African eyeliner)---reserved for the Chairperson, Board of Trustees(JJCAMB)

(20) 2 drums x 250 litres of high octane triple-distilled GENUINE 100 degrees proof ogogoro.

(21) Highly pepperized fresh fish pepper soup to serve all Villagers, JJCs, and their guests, including gatecrashers present.

(22) 50 plates of Salade Du Nigeriana (i.e. Ugba + okporoko, garnished with uziza/uda puree) for placating the hard-liners and hawks of the Elders' Forum.

(23) Unlimited supply of bitter kola, alligator pepper, and garden egg.

(24) 50 Coolers of Steaming hot Ajinomotoless jollof rice.

(25) 10 x 100 litres jerry-cans of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu.

(26) 12 coolers of plantain pottage

(27) 25 foil pans of pepperized snail (exclusively reserved for the women)

(28) One dozen, full sheet, Birthday cakes (fondant icing)

(29) 500 Goodie bags

(30) 1 sackload of killishi

(31) 1 sackload of kulinkuli

(32) 10 Tins of Ijebu garri


Simply make sure that the above list is included in your next post, thereafter, I will forward a final reccomendation to the Welcomer-In-Chief to approve your Visa request.

Remmember: Dont keep the elders waiting o!

[calist]

My oh my!

Feyi where are thou?

Why is it taking you ages to provide the necessities, so that your jollifications go follow, abi light no dey?

Ok oh! When you ready we are waiting, just no that keeping the elders waiting also has a price.

Calist
Incoming Chief of Staff

[Ph3y]

Ha.....i no say i wan marry o.....infact if u check my profile u'll see i'm female (No be say i chase babe come NVS). Any how na beg i dey beg.......all u powers dat be assist me o. Or a good samaritan can even give me scholarship?!!

[elgaxton]

em' ....em'

where u Feyi? copy and paste wetin Sandylomo(AG) put for

there..... U wan marry, relax elders go show for ur wedding party

once u collect ya visa.. hurry up! :)

elgaxton
D-VHS

[calist]

Ha.....i no say i wan marry o.....infact if u check my profile u'll see i'm female (No be say i chase babe come NVS). Any how na beg i dey beg.......all u powers dat be assist me o. Or a good samaritan can even give me scholarship?!!

See me oh!

Enh Feyi, who tell you say na your marriage list dem give you, :eek:

That na elders requirement alias patikolas that “must” be presented before your visa go show face. :biggrin:

Oya as a correct lady, go back to the post, go through the list properly and adhere to the instructions way follow am. :biggrin:

Hurry up oh! Cos time waits for no man. :biggrin:

Calist
Incoming Chief Of Staff

[Dimaanu]

Hi, Elgaxton (DVHSD)

Did your guys really check this Feyi babe out before sending her to the 97th floor?

Why I am geting an Error Code here?:confused1

I suggest that you conduct another thorough background check and if she still has not presented the Elders' partykolas, please send this file to the Basement and store it in the bottom drawer.

Thank you!

Dimaanu

[elgaxton]

Hi, Elgaxton (DVHSD)

Did your guys really check this Feyi babe out before sending her to the 97th floor?

Why I am geting an Error Code here?:confused1

I suggest that you conduct another thorough background check and if she still has not presented the Elders' partykolas, please send this file to the Basement and store it in the bottom drawer.

Thank you!

Dimaanu



All correct madam!

[Ph3y]

Na wa o.....Dis una visa process sef. It is easier for an elephant to pass through the eye of a needle......Please good people have mercy o.....

[elgaxton]

Na wa o.....Dis una visa process sef. It is easier for an elephant to pass through the eye of a needle......Please good people have mercy o.....

Hey Feyi,

Just copy and paste the list of items provided by Sandylomo(AG) above

[Ph3y]

The List:

(1) One basket of GENUINE Igboid kola nuts (oji Igbo)

(2) One basket of Arewaesque kola nuts (goro/gworo).

(3) One tiny teaspoon (5ml. max) of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu (without this, you file remains open)

(4) 10 x 50 litres jerry-cans of palmie (pasteurized palm wine powerless).

(5) Isi ewu (with 2 eyes, 1 tongue, and 2 ears per goat head)

(6) Unlimited suyarized and tenderized beef and pork barbeque (for all Villagers and JJCs).

(7) Roasted cocoyam to serve 50 seasoned elders (maximum).

(8) Nigerian omelet (for 50 seasoned elders only.)

(9) 2 crates of Hennessey XO champagne brandy, for His Excellency, Oga Big-K.

(10) 13 crates of Dom Perignon (for 13 very seasoned, kunu-allergic elders).

(11) 100 strings of Jigida beads for the women

(12) 50 tins of Saturday Night powder

(13) 20 wraps of eko (for the toothless elders)

(14) Spicy goatmeat peppersoup

(15) 30 crates of Crush & Mirinda Orange

(16) 50 cartons of Guiness Odeku

(17) 30 cartons of Malta Guiness

(18) 15 bowls of freshly ground Lahli (African tatoo)---reserved for Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB)

(19) 150 miniature jars of Tiro (African eyeliner)---reserved for the Chairperson, Board of Trustees(JJCAMB)

(20) 2 drums x 250 litres of high octane triple-distilled GENUINE 100 degrees proof ogogoro.

(21) Highly pepperized fresh fish pepper soup to serve all Villagers, JJCs, and their guests, including gatecrashers present.

(22) 50 plates of Salade Du Nigeriana (i.e. Ugba + okporoko, garnished with uziza/uda puree) for placating the hard-liners and hawks of the Elders' Forum.

(23) Unlimited supply of bitter kola, alligator pepper, and garden egg.

(24) 50 Coolers of Steaming hot Ajinomotoless jollof rice.

(25) 10 x 100 litres jerry-cans of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu.

(26) 12 coolers of plantain pottage

(27) 25 foil pans of pepperized snail (exclusively reserved for the women)

(28) One dozen, full sheet, Birthday cakes (fondant icing)

(29) 500 Goodie bags

(30) 1 sackload of killishi

(31) 1 sackload of kulinkuli

(32) 10 Tins of Ijebu garri


Well my people...this is it. There'l be an after party later.....I'm putting logistics in place.

[calist]

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS(III)
Outgoing Welcomer-In-Chief of all NVS-compliant jjcs Here and Beyond
Village Twin Towers Complex
NVS-Cyberspace


July 31th 2008


Dear Oga,


Presenting.......... Feyi

The above-named JJC has satisfactorily completed every aspect of due process, including voluntarily minimizing her ego. She is hereby cleared to approach the bench.

I recommend that you, please, approve her request for the much coveted NVS transit Visa.

Thank you, Sir!

Calist
Acting Adviser General

[emj]

Eherm AAG....Calist, is this list getting shorter or it's my eyes?

There seems to be some items missing o......the next list has to be more comprehensive that this....going forward:arrow:

Ube
Yellow Gari
Groundnut
Even self Mouth Organ(Corn on the Hob)...go soon join put abegy.



EMJ

Chairperson Board of Trustees JJCamb


PS>>>>>>>Nice goings...as u wia...cheerios:)

[Abraxas]

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS(III)
Outgoing Welcomer-In-Chief of all NVS-compliant jjcs Here and Beyond
Village Twin Towers Complex
NVS-Cyberspace


July 31th 2008


Dear Oga,


Presenting.......... Feyi

The above-named JJC has satisfactorily completed every aspect of due process, including voluntarily minimizing her ego. She is hereby cleared to approach the bench.

I recommend that you, please, approve her request for the much coveted NVS transit Visa.

Thank you, Sir!

Calist
Acting Adviser General



The Village High Commission









500th Floor, The Twin Tower Complex, The Square NV1SQ, Cyberspace.



Official Website: http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com



Reference: VTT/VHC/JJCAMB/FY.8.002.Cap 80/10.Vol.4Q./43176883/.ApdxLXXVIX(C)

Date: Friday, 1 August 2008.


Hi, Feyi (JJC)! http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r10/tomovuk/dontpanic.gif

Congratulations!http://forums.vault9.net/style_emoticons/default/wine.gif

Two (2) nuclear GBOZAs to you for your excellent inter-personal skills, for voluntarily minimizing your ego, for conducting yourself very well, and successfully completing your visa interview.

I am writing to say that the time limit and conditionalities attached to your entering our Village of origin have been removed. An appropriate endorsement has been placed on your passport, which is enclosed.

You are now free to remain permanently in our very beloved Village of origin. You do not require any permission from anybody, to take or change employment in the Village Twin Towers Complex or any other Village Virtual Community for that matter. You may engage in any activity, provided you comply with the constitution of our dearly beloved Village of no regret.

Finally, by the powers conferred upon me, on behalf of all Villagers and JJCs, I do hereby cordially, and very wholeheartedly, welcome you on board the Nigerian Village Square, the flagship of Nigeria in cyberspace, as a fully authenticated citizen of this Village.

We all look forward to your active participation in the Square, as you now leave the Village Twin Towers Complex. We also expect that you show some level-headedness, objectivity, consistency, maturity, and good interpersonal skills in your interactions with others, whenever YOU are on the Square.
Once more, welcome on board the Nigerian Village Square, the default home page of the Nigerian cyber-literati, worldwide.




http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh294/Komsykomsa/SealofthePresidentofNigeria.jpg TEMPORARY TRANSIT VISA APPROVED. http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh294/Komsykomsa/SealofthePresidentofNigeria.jpg



Muchas gracias.
http://forums.vault9.net/style_emoticons/default/beer.gif

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III).
(a.k.a. His Eminence, Sheikh Sadiqq d’Fuqkk of Sakkwato Khalifate, Darfur & Dubai Emirates)

Out-going Welcomer-in-Chief & Village High Commissioner; Life President, Elders’ Forum (Bar & Discotheque); CEO, Global Alliance Against Neo-Racism in BritishAirways; Director of Propaganda & Enlightenment (D.O.P.E.), Special Task Force for the Demystification of OBJ, IBB, Murtala Mohammed, Mohammadu Buhari, Abdulsalami Abubakar, David Mark, et al; Director of Operations, Special Task Force for the Efficient Evacuation of OBJ from Aso Rock Villa, Abuja, to Ibogun (in the middle of Nowhere); Secretary General, Global Coalition for the Demilitarization of Nigerian Politics, post-OBJ.



cc: Department of Miscellaneous What-not-isms, Office of His Excellency, Oga Big-K (The Penthouse, 555th Floor)
cc: Chairperson, Board of Trustees, JJC Admission Matters Bureau (500th Floor)
cc: Out-going Adviser General, AG, JJCAMB. (500th Floor).
cc: In-coming Welcomer-in-Chief. (450th Floor)
cc: In-coming Adviser General, JJCAMB. (450th Floor
cc: Database Administrator, DA. (Basement Level 30)
cc: Director, Village Homeland Security Department (DD-VHS), (250th Floor)
cc: Director, Visa Interrogation Operations, D-VIO. (440th Floor)
cc: Chief of Staff Due Process Office, COS-DPO. (440th Floor)
cc: Chief Visa Review Officer, CVRO. (400th Floor)
cc: Assistant Chief Special Assistant to the AG, ACSA-AG. (450th Floor)
cc: Senior Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff, Due Process. 450th Floor)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


APPENDIX 1:

Revised Angelic Verses (RAV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel According to the ravishing fourth wife of Prophet Abraham, from Agoyin Kingdom, in Ancient Dahomey, called Prophetess (Princess) Mojisola Gbenga-Ikelebe (alias Sissy Cotonou).

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):
And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Nigeria, during a state visit to the world renowned lunatic asylum in Aro, Ogun State, General Okikiolakan Aremu Igbochukwu Matthew Olusegun Sikiru Obasanjo (GCFR; OND; JP) asked the Director of Psychiatry:

"How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said Baba Senator Iyabo (alias OBJ)."A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than both the spoon and the teacup. Right?"

"No" said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed in the presidential ward, Your Excellency, Sir?"

That is the end of my first story for today.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPENDIX 2:

Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Holy Book of Psychedelic Lies according to General Overseer Ibrahim. Gbadamosi (Evil Spirit) Babangida (GCFR).

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):
And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Oshogbo, a married man went to confessional and said to the priest:

“Father, I had an affair with a woman, em errr, ehmm, emmmm … almost. "

“What do you mean by 'almost'?” questioned Reverend Father Ogedengbe.

“Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then, I stopped.”

“Rubbing together is the same as putting it inside,” explained the Right Reverend Father Ogedengbe. “You’re not to go near that woman again. Do you hear me? Now, say five "Hail Mary"s, and put N5,000 in the box for the poor.”

The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the box for the poor . He brought out a wad of mint-fresh 1,000 naira notes, counted out five of the notes, rubbed them on the box for the poor, paused for a moment, and then decided to leave the church.

Reverend Father Ogedengbe quickly ran over to the man, and exclaimed aloud:

“I saw that! ... Yes, I saw you … you didn’t put any money in the box for the poor! I caught you.”

The man replied:

“Well, Father Ogedengbe, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it inside!”

That is the end of my second and final story for today.

[Ph3y]

H mmm...thank you all for your help..I hope to have fun @ NVS...See u all around!!!!

[calist]

Eherm AAG....Calist, is this list getting shorter or it's my eyes?

There seems to be some items missing o......the next list has to be more comprehensive that this....going forward:arrow:

Ube
Yellow Gari
Groundnut
Even self Mouth Organ(Corn on the Hob)...go soon join put abegy.



EMJ

Chairperson Board of Trustees JJCamb


PS>>>>>>>Nice goings...as u wia...cheerios:)

Thanks you madam chairperson Board of Trustees JJCamb;

The items have been included in the list of requirement with immediate alacrity. :biggrin:

Thanks for the correction.:D

All the best Ma