It is interesting reading an article on polygamy, which many may prefer to shy away from its debate. The piece on the above by Dr. Bala Muhammad in the Weekly Trust June 23, 2007 was quite reawakening on how the sanctity of polygamy is abused in the Northern part of Nigeria. Dr. Muhammad is a renowned mass-communication scholar who has worked in BBC, Deuchewelle of Germany, the Guardian as member editorial board and presently the boss of Kano Directorate of Reorientation. The article was influenced by a research, which indicates higher rate of divorce amongst Hausa-Fulani a predominantly Muslim group. Some of the perpetrators have misinterpreted religious injunctions and prophetic wisdoms to abuse the sanctity of polygamy. Some even have the erroneous belief that to guard against poverty, one should consistently marry more wives. Haba!

I{mosgoogle} was indeed impressed by the facts presented by the writer that: polygamy in Islam is only possible if the husband will be able to treat his wives justly. Otherwise, the man is to marry only one wife. He quoted The holy Quran, Islamic scriptural book, Chapter on The Women (Q 4:3) that “And if you have reason to fear that you might not act equitably towards orphans, then marry from among (other) women such as are lawful to you – (even) two, or three, or four: but if you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then (only) one…”

            He mentioned how polygamy is treated in some Muslim countries. In Tunisia and Morocco polygamy is prohibited in their legal codes. In Syria, Iraq, Pakistan and Malaysia they make polygamy subject to court permission and only granted when certain conditions are fulfilled such as the husband’s financial capability to maintain a second wife. He didn’t mention the Nigerian factor where there could be addition and addition. And if one of the wives is deleted through divorce, more addition becomes a possibility.

It is not only Islam that recognizes polygamy, other cultures and religions also promote it.  We should not forget the biblical King Solomon and David who were polygamous. Around the world too, there are local chiefs, traditional rulers and religious leaders, including Christians especially Aladuras that have more than one wife. Some highly celebrated Nigerians from the Southern Nigeria are also polygamous like former President Olusegun Obasanjo, billionaire-politician MKO Abiola, and born-again Lt. Gen. Oladipo Diya.

            In his piece Dr. Bala Muhammad, a widely traveled scholar mentioned some advocacies in the United States of America promoting polygamy where personalities like Henry Kraemer and Michael Schocket published an article in the media with a title “Let’s Make Polygamy Legal: The Right to Marry Should not be restricted by Quantity.”

Since the culture of POLYANDRY is not practiced in Nigeria, where a woman marries more than one husband, (which is common with some groups in India and South Africa,) what could have necessitated the desire for additional wives in our modern society?

There are seeming justifications for the practice from societal angle too. If female population, as demographers constantly remind us, is more than the male-folks, what could happen to extra virtuous ladies should everyman marries one single wife? What about a situation where the wife cannot medically conceive but the husband desires a child? How do we dignify and protect the chastity of widows from temptation that may lead to promiscuity? How do we also address the problems of women who after few issues, forget to maintain their attractiveness and give unnecessary excuses when their husbands are desirous of intimacy? Can a single wife have capacity and strength to withstand a husband with excessive libido? How about wives whose pastime is to abuse their in-laws and engage in troublemaking in the neighborhoods? What about shyly but gaily dressed fiancées during courtship but who after marriage become shabbily clad and only dress-to-kill for outings?

While it is condemnable the rate by which poor and young people take more wives without adequate source of livelihood as Dr. Bala Muhammad observed in his piece, it is similarly regrettable if not abominable the way and manner the rich in the society abuse our children and wives in the name of polygamy. The rate of divorce amongst members of opulent class who have less regard in showering genuine affection to their wives after society wedding is also alarming.

We are living witnesses to the wealthy individuals in society whose interest in polygamy is to boost their egos like conquerors and sometimes do away with the old wives. They may marry young ladies enough to be their daughters and later divorce them like expired or used cans of juice after satisfying their lust. Moneybags also use polygamy as an oppressive weapon to intimidate young suitors by bypassing the ladies to speak to poor parents in the language of survival like King Mswati of Swaziland who has all the ladies in his domain for his pick. The lustful local rich men also compete amongst themselves in fishing for pretty ladies in their community for marriage as if their victims are prized trophy. That is apart from those that take delight in deflowering virgins for the fun of it through multiple marriages.

There is also marriage for show-off amongst the political elites who suddenly realize that they abode illiterate wives who could not fit into First Lady’s status and not suitable for presentation at social gatherings like Owambe parties. They forget that they denied and discouraged the unfortunate wives at home to further their education after the union. Nothing is more worrisome than the unbecoming antic of polygamous men, who force their wives to furtively imitate them, in chasing young and old mistresses and gigolos outside matrimony when their spouses are likely more attractive in character and characteristics.

Surprisingly some wives encourage their husbands to play away-matches with even women of easy virtues to guarantee sustaining their position as the first-and-only-madam at home. But in an effort to taste the forbidden fruit outside the matrimony, the husbands become victims of desperate single women who apply literal and diabolical charms and sometimes through avoidable pregnancies to ensnare the men to take them home as supplementary madams. Smart gold diggers know how to upgrade their status from Miss to Mrs.

As there exist rivalries within some polygamous families there also abound several exemplary polygamous homes where the wives and children relate mutually and peacefully to the joy of their breadwinners and the admiration of their community.

            Towards a united and strong family, it is advisable that couples should sustain mutual respect and love built on trust and faithfulness. They should shun attraction to physical attributes that fall and go for partners of good temperament, which is enduring, and hardly fail. It should be pointed out that what may attract one to look outside the matrimony for amorous companionship can be prevented if the person provides those other sources of attraction for their spouses like those tantalizing lipsticks, gowns and perfumes and even couch them to swagger like supermodels.

What is my take in all these? Some of our parents, like mine, colleagues and even old school mates never envisaged marrying more than one wife but are presently polygamous. They mostly claim that their decisions are destiny. So what could be the future of some of us still monogamous and cautious of playing away-matches in a society that still debates preference between more wives and more children? Please can you pray for us as I say AMEEN?

Yushau A. Shuaib

yashuaib@yahoo.com

Wuye Estate, Abuja

Other related articles by this author:

Sharia: Between Civilization and Belief: http://www.yashuaib.com/sharia.htm

Legislative Slap and Gender Equality: http://www.yashuaib.com/slap.htm

Robot  Villager

# 1 It is not only Islam that recognizes polygamy, other cultures and religions also promote it. We ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 02.07.2007 09:41

ithinkbetter  Villager

# 2 ..abeg, mak we enact a law for naija where woman go marry as many men as they want too...me want SOUL SISTA, EMY and AMY, lest i forget, OGADIMA, to marry me...i dey serious my dear villagers..!:D ..do i hear somebody thank me for dis gooooooood statement....:cool::cool:...oga Abraxas, what sayeth thee...:confused1 Posted by ithinkbetter| 02.07.2007 10:37

techsista  Villager

# 3 I like the Islamic requirement that one should marry more than one woman only if all wives can be treated equally. It seems that some muslim countries have interpreted that as equivalent to saying "marry just one wife." How many men can honestly say they treat all their wives equally? How many parents treat all their children equally? How many people treat all their friends equally? How many human beings have that level of impartiality and discernment? The equality clause is far harder than it sounds. Since the culture of POLYANDRY is not practiced in Nigeria, where a woman marries more than one husband, (which is common with some groups in India and South Africa,) what could have necessitated the desire for additional wives in our modern society? Actually, polyandry is practiced in Nigeria among the Irigwe and Rukuba and possibly other groups - this was discussed a while back on NVS in the following thread. If female population, as demographers constantly remind us, is more than the male-folks, what could happen to extra virtuous ladies should everyman marries one single wife? Since the last Nigerian census tells us that there are 71.7 million men and 68.3 million women, it seems that the issue is how we can prevent extra virtuous men from withering away. Unless of course, like akuluouno, you believe that the actual population count was 140,000,419 :). Towards a united and strong family, it is advisable that couples should sustain mutual respect and love built on trust and faithfulness. They should shun attraction to physical attributes that fall and go for partners of good temperament, which is enduring, and hardly fail. Now, this is a reasonable statement I can't fault :). Posted by techsista| 02.07.2007 11:14

Oghre  Villager

# 4 Mate, Islam is a backward religion with mediaeval practices and needs very urgent and serious reforms because it is constantly pitching itself against modern civilised ideals, the backlash is what is today isolating the religion in the modern world. Imagine this, for you to make a comparison with such disgusting practices of Islamic marriage that demeans women, you had to use “biblical King Solomon and David who were polygamous” Does that not tell you how retrogressive the religion is? If anything your article should concentrate more on telling the leadership of Islam how much the religion needs to change with the current climate facing it. Posted by Oghre| 02.07.2007 19:53

yashuaib1  Villager

# 5 Oghre, I quote Oghre "Imagine this, for you to make a comparison with such disgusting practices of Islamic marriage that demeans women, you had to use “biblical King Solomon and David who were polygamous” Does that not tell you how retrogressive the religion is?" Answer: I thought I mentioned President Obasanjo and Born againChristian Oladipo Diya who ARE POLYGAMOUS. I dont know whether they are no more christians. I quote him again: "If anything your article should concentrate more on telling the leadership of Islam how much the religion needs to change with the current climate facing it." Answer: Just like we have GAY BISHOPS in the name of civilisation. Abi? I only hope dogs will not be given the same right if you look at it from animal right. My regret it, I always forget that in my audience there are people who are extremely fanatical and myopic in their reasoning and arguement. I shouldn't have reply this because other enlighten people here may think I am like him. If you dont know how to argue intelligently please mind your language. I rest my case.YAShuaib Posted by yashuaib1| 03.07.2007 06:46

abdulmumin  Villager

# 6 Try as much as you can, you cannot assemble a sizeable population of humans without ultimately having them naturally distributed in what statisticians call a normal distribution. A normal distribution suggests that you will ultimately find all classes of people distributed in a manner that is reflective of the general population from which the sample was drawn. The NVS in this case would suffice as a sample. You will therefore understand yashuaib1 why you should not be surprised at Oghre's comments since you'll always find his type in any sizeable sample. That is just the way God Almighty has made the world. Posted by abdulmumin| 03.07.2007 10:15

Oluwato  Villager

# 7 >...Since the culture of POLYANDRY is not practiced in Nigeria, where a woman marries more than one husband, (which is common with some groups in India and South Africa,) ... Polyandry IS practiced in Nigeria. Check Plateau and Benue States. The fact of life is humans are sinful (ungodly). That is the way we were born. The seed of Adam, our first biological father is sin, so we inherited sin. It is only in Jesus Christ that we inherit holiness. Satan has created deception in the churches and in the world. Religion many times is deception and a powerful tool to deceive. Any form of marriage apart from monogamy is SIN. It doesn't matter if a legal term is used to color it, or a religious (deceptive) word is used to justify it. It is sin (ungodliness, imperfection, unrighteousness). Blessings, Oluwato Posted by Oluwato| 03.07.2007 11:43

UncleTisha  Villager

# 8 =Oluwato;188899>>...Since the culture of POLYANDRY is not practiced in Nigeria, where a woman marries more than one husband, (which is common with some groups in India and South Africa,) ... Polyandry IS practiced in Nigeria. Check Plateau and Benue States. The fact of life is humans are sinful (ungodly). That is the way we were born. The seed of Adam, our first biological father is sin, so we inherited sin. It is only in Jesus Christ that we inherit holiness. Satan has created deception in the churches and in the world. Religion many times is deception and a powerful tool to deceive. Any form of marriage apart from monogamy is SIN. It doesn't matter if a legal term is used to color it, or a religious (deceptive) word is used to justify it. It is sin (ungodliness, imperfection, unrighteousness). Blessings, Oluwato Hello Oluwato. Can you please advise one on the particular Bible verse where the Almighty Jehovah expressly forbids polygamy? Thank you. Respectfully yours. Posted by UncleTisha| 03.07.2007 11:49

techsista  Villager

# 9 Biblical arguments against polygamy can be found here and here. Posted by techsista| 03.07.2007 13:01

ithinkbetter  Villager

# 10 =techsista;188922>Biblical arguments against polygamy can be found here and here. ....then nothing speaks against Polyandry.:idea:..where're amy, soul sista, emy and ogadinma! Posted by ithinkbetter| 03.07.2007 13:11

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