13 Oct 2008 |
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Where is my NVS Ego? By WayoGuy I am sitting here in Owerri. Today, we have received an unusually-steady supply of electricity. I quickly went to my computer to see what is going on at the NigeriaVillageSquare. Immediately, I was upset by what a villager had written about me. I tried to deliver a serious blow at him by way of a harsh rejoinder but power went out. No, it was not electric power that went out. It was my ego. My ego was no where to be found. Where did my Nigeria Village Square ego go? Can someone help me find my NVS ego? I don’t care about the psychological or philosophical definition of ego. I don’t even care about the ego often discussed in academic literature. I just want a raw NVS ego, the everyday internet ego. I am deficient in the everyday online sense of ego, as in a sense of self-importance and pride, especially the type of pride that comes ever-so-close to conceit. You know, the type that pumps adrenaline through your veins as soon as your radar detects insults directed at you, real or imagined. That’s the ego that I desperately need. That’s the ego that I lack. I am talking about “I” or “me” or “myself” as the center of the universe. What happened to my ego; that thing in you that, when wounded or offended, pumps you up to deliver blows to the opponent above and below the belt? Where did my ego go? Are you still wondering why I need a typical NVS ego? If you are going to help me, I guess I owe you a clearer explanation. Very often I have nursed a desire to take on certain NVS villagers, male and female, and beat them up until everybody begins to fear me. But my lack of ego has been a major impediment to my desire. The list of people I have dreamt of beating up includes Dewdrops, Wale Akin, salstep, Double Wahala, Big-k, Exxcusme, Felix, Overload, Kenn-1, tonsoyo, denker. I have even dreamt of engaging Okey Ndibe, Rudolph Okonkwo and Ruben Abati. But I have been fearful because these are big-time players, too big for my non-existent ego. One day, about three months ago, I actually woke up in the morning and made a list of soft targets. I thought that if I started with soft targets, who were unlikely to put up a serious defense, I would gradually build up my ego and ready myself for the big league. My soft target list included Raynosa, Amy, Serious Naija babe, Uncle Tisha, Dimaanu, and especially Elgaxton, and bebi. I figured that since villagers like bebi and Elgaxton barely write more than two short sentences in their posts, they would be easy for me to beat up. I figured that they would not defend themselves with academic epistles and dissertations like the scary Kenn-1. (Even the name Kenn-1, by itself, is frightening. Bloody lawyers!). The major concern that prevented me from implementing my planned assault on the soft targets was that these types have admirers and defenders who would not let me be if I attacked them. So I shelved the idea and went back into my shell. Why must other villagers have all the fun? Do you know how hard it is for me to watch other villagers engage in serious confrontations and first-class boxing matches? I could not forgive myself for lacking an ego when I saw, and could not join, Big-k and Wale Akin in a recent physical combat on a thread involving mulan. Sure, I was full of admiration for mulan that she had such power over these two men, but I, too, wanted very badly to join the fight, regardless of whose side I took. But my ego was nowhere to be found. As I watched Big-K and Wale on my big screen computer monitor, full of self-pity and melancholy, I quickly realized why Libyan leader, Mouamer Qaddafi, gets excited that U.S. Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, controls Middle Eastern men. Hear Qaddafi speaking to Al Jazeera TV: “I support my darling black African woman. I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders”. While Qaddafi may have been up to some mischief, what he and I have in common is that we both lack the ego to engage in a serious fight, but we admire our African girl Condoleezza (sorry, I mean mulan) instigating a duel among men. Mulan sure is powerful and she does not even need an ego in order to perform. I have suffered. I have missed opportunities to join titanic, gargantuan, heavy-weight, bouts on NVS. Remember the heavy-weight bout between Auspicious and Soul Sista a few weeks ago? I was so jealous of Auspicious and Soul Sista that I was steaming with anger at myself for lacking the ego to join such wonderful pastime. I have truly suffered in silence at this village square. Remember the Double Wahala and mulan bout; the Soul Sista and Anon combat; the Auspicious and Bode Eluyera duel; the Kenn-1 and tonsoyo fight; the Double Wahala and Soul Sista confrontation; the emj and Bode Eluyera skirmishes; the ula lisa and Bode Eluyera rumble; the Shoko and Bode Eluyera big show and row; the dem and salstep fracas; the tanibaba against everybody free-for-all battle; the … I stopped counting a long time ago. How can I be in the midst of so much fun and I can't get myself to join? I need a raw NVS online ego. Can you help a brother find his NVS ego? Please.
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