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One Saturday morning Abdul purchased a live chicken and a sharp knife.
Abdul, who lives in Washington, had tried, for ten years, without success, to divorce his American wife. In that ten years, she denied him conjugal relations but continuously insulted him from the moment he walked into the house until he left for work the next day. In that ten years, she planted herself permanently in his house, never leaving the house. She did nothing but eat, drink, and sleep, watch television, talk loudly on the phone, eat and drink some more, and order more food from Chinese restaurants, which was delivered to the house. All of Abdul’s friends stopped coming to visit him.
Finally, Abdul bought and took home a live chicken and a sharp knife. As soon as he walked into his house, his wife, speechless and with a look of shock, fear, and curiosity, sat at the edge of the sofa watching Abdul as if she had seen a ghost. He refused to even look at his wife as he tied the chicken to the kitchen table.
As soon as Abdul turned his back, the chicken crowed "Kokorokooooo!"
Abdul, visibly angry, as his wife watched, shouted at the chicken: "Chicken, you will die at number three. You have two left!" Abdul’s wife thought he had gone mad talking gibberish to a chicken.
Five minutes later, the chicken crowed again "Kokorokooooo!!"
Abdul, clearly enraged, shouted again "Chicken, you will die at number three. You have one left.!!"
Abdul’s wife, now scared, began to think he was performing an African ritual.
Five minutes later, the chicken crowed "Kokorokooooo!!!"
Abdul, now fuming with rage and foaming from the mouth, shouted "Chicken, that was number three. You are out!!!! and at the same instant he took out the knife and cleanly cut off the chicken’s head. The headless chicken writhed noisily all over the kitchen table as Abdul’s wife watched with horror.
His wife, frantic and shaking with a mixture of fear and rage, shouted at Abdul "You idiot, you fool, you stupid African, you killed that poor chicken? Why? Why? I demand an explanation now!."
Abdul, visibly angry, and still foaming from the mouth, shouted back at his wife: "Woman, you will die at number three. You have two left." Then he matched around the kitchen admiring his knife as his wife, now scared to hell, very quietly tiptoed to the front door, opened the door, and ran out. That was two years ago and nobody has seen her since.
REACTIONS OF VILLAGERS:
salstep: WayoGuy abeg stick to law. Stupid story.
Akuluouno: Wayo, wayo, wayo. How many times have I called your name? You will kill us with your wayoways.
Crimsonbabe: I know I sound like a broken record: nice story.
Exxcuzme: Only a wayoguy would fall mugu to this type of scam.
Mikky jaga: I am sorely disappointed in you WayoGuy. You will rot in jail when the law catches you.
Auspicious: Another feather to your hat o’jare. Nice one my guy.
Sabella: You can kill as many chickens as you wish, even in a 69 position if you wish. You are chicken if you think there is a God that forbids anything.
UglyMan: Is Sabella using "chicken" as a verb or as an adjective?. What if WayoGuy couldn't write, would villagers still enjoy his stories?
Anthony Okosun: Sabella, there is a God. But the scripture must be consulted on stories for inspiration ...
Overload: Get out of town, man. Just get real. What type of man is Abdul who allows a woman to stay in the same house with him for ten years without giving him some? Is he gay? Or is he getting it from somewhere else. Abeg tell the whole story. Get real!!
Abraxas: Hi, folks. Ten years of deprivation of congo-shining is capable of reprogramming a man’s mental processes toward the fringes of insanity so that the killing of the chicken by Abdul, in the manner described, is understandable as a corollary of such deprivation.
Dimaanu: Wayoguy, you have done it again. Nice story.
Big-K: Why are villagers not donating to the 2007 NVS fund drive? Do I have to make up a fictitious headline about a sex scandal to get people’s attention?
Anonymous: I hate Big-K and WayoGuy and emj and I hate all the other Anonymousies.
GirlWifanAttitude: WayoGuy, true Christians must learn to forgive. There should have been a Christian way of resolving the marital issues without resorting to tricks and rituals and the killing of an innocent chicken.
Lionking: This wayo mugu, are you here again?
Dr Damages: Y'all can see why I choose to write, Children of A Retired God.
DoubleWahala: This is possibly one of the best WayoGuy tales so far. I don’t know how he does it.
tanibaba: Before I proceed let me state clearly that I am a Muslim and I believe very strongly that God exists and that I was created by God. Nice story WayoGuy.
Denker: The Following User Says Thank You to WayoGuy For This Useful Post: denker (today).
Khalil: Great story even though it sounds all thru like ranting of someone frustrated by the institution of marriage. You must learn something about Muslims before writing about Abdul and his wife.
Son of the Delta: Obasanjo is a bigot, a human rights abuser, with genocide records that need to be sent to the Hague, he is also a corrupt thief and it is an insult to ask Nigerians to be grateful to him for his abuse of power and excessive use of force for his personal gain. By the way, nice story WayoGuy.
Willy: WayoGuy, when will you send me something for this our story-telling partnership? I dey vex ooo.
Okey Ndibe: I like that Abdul gentleman. Is he a public official? He doesn’t appear to be poverty-pulverized. He reminds me of someone. Does he have a degree? If so, from what university?
Tonsoyo: WayoGuy, tell Abdul that the law is waiting for him. He needs a real divorce. Tell him that success has no date, carry go! But be careful failure and disgrace just like success have no date.
VOR:, tonsoyo, the above story got me laughing, he sure has his humour intact. So lets take this in the humorous way it was intended.
Uniben82: Wayo, I like reading your stories, but I wish you would add more issues of race, black and white, into the stories. Nice one.
Ikechiji: Where is the law here and the analysis? Is the constitution involved? I am surprised that WayoGuy advised Abdul to use an illegal method to evict his wife. The wife may be out but she is technically not outside the house. I think the court will find that there was no proper election (sorry I mean eviction)! It would be interesting to see what happens at the final Supreme Court hearing on the couple’s divorce.
Nero Africanus: Does anybody need a lecture from a professor? I am available.
Tonsoyo: I just have to disagree with you again sir. You do not seem to be considering the legal implications. You seem to be preoccupied with just the outcome and not the legality.
Emj: Another nice wayo tale. As for that Abdul guy, he's one of those Nigerian Men stalking me on NVS, and I've reported him to ISL.
Jah Guda: I think there is a Nazi in the house and I will expose him if I don't get some love and attention from villagers right now. Sorry, what is this story about WayoGuy?
Forshow: I does not want to SSTOPP not b’cause stories good not. I like story not but godd not.??????
Shoko: I think Forshow is the most logical and sensible commentator, with unrivaled lucidity and clarity.
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Posted by Robot| 09.11.2007 11:32