18

Apr

2008

NigeriaVillageSquare Puzzle: Headline Writers Needed PDF Print E-mail
By Wayo Guy

Detective J.P. Creepy was recuperating from cancer at a California hospital, while holding the day’s Los Angeles Times newspaper. He was in debilitating and chronic pain, the worst pain he had known in his 60 years on earth. Worse yet, the doctors had told him that the cancer had metastasized and that he had only one year to live. He would be released today to homecare because there was nothing else that the doctors could do for him as an inpatient.

His quality of life having been permanently lowered and worsening, he wanted the pain to be over. He was determined to end the pain and he knew exactly what to do. His mind was made up. Besides, he was broke. All his money had gone into paying for the treatments and drugs related to his illness. His life was now a nightmare.

He thought about his two children who were only six and seven years old. His wife had died and left him a single father. The thought of leaving this world without seeing his children become adults broke his already painful heart. His only consolation was that he had One Million Dollars in life insurance that the children would receive if he died. Tears dripped down his eyes.

He flung the newspaper aside in anger as his mind raced through his undercover detective days with the police department. After thirty five years of hundreds of undercover investigations this is what his life had become. Sad.

As he picked up the newspaper once again, he was stunned to see, on the front page, the following story:

 

Black Widow’ of Southern California Released from Prison

The court has ordered the release from prison of Monica Grave, the alleged ‘black widow’

of Southern California . Ms. Grave was serving a life sentence for allegedly marrying and

poisoning five husbands. The government had alleged that she poisoned the men in order

to cash in on their life insurance policies. Although she had denied the allegations, the

government had exhumed the bodies of four of the five husbands and discovered they all

had been poisoned with cyanide. Ms. Grave was ordered released from prison yesterday

following her lawyers’ successful appeal based on legal technicalities. The appeal centered

on the trial judge’s failure to allow a defense expert witness to testify on the issue of the

unreliability of the government’s cyanide detection procedure from exhumed bodies; the

lawyers had also appealed the judge’s improperly-worded instruction to the jury at trial.

The government vowed yesterday to try Ms. Grave again.

 

As he read the story, Detective J.P. Creepy felt chills running down his spine. He had been engaged to the ‘black widow’ Monica Grave; and had come very close to marrying her a few days before she was arrested and tried for the murder of her previous husbands.

In fact, the day she was convicted, he had been in the courtroom with her, refusing to believe that she was guilty. But he was to receive the biggest shock of his life when she, in the courtroom, whispered into his ears that she was guilty of the charges of murder and then she took the witness stand and denied all the charges. The jury convicted her anyway.

As he read and re-read the story of her release, he felt a cold wave run down his back as he groaned from the cancer pain. He still had her telephone number. 

“So Monica has gotten away with murder!” J.P heard himself muttering.

That evening J.P. Creepy was released from the hospital and taken home. At home that night, he sat at the kitchen table while his children slept upstairs. Spread out in front of him were his Last Will and Testament and his life insurance policy documents. He read and re-read the documents. For the first time in months, he felt happy that he was finally going to be pain-free and that his children would be richer by One Million Dollars. His sister, as stipulated in his Last Will and Testament, would be his children’s guardian. He trusted her to honor his wishes. He was happy.

He ran his fingers around the bottle of cyanide in front of him, cuddling the bottle like a friend in need. It was enough poison to kill one hundred men. He smiled and picked up the bottle. As he twisted the cap off the bottle, he glanced at the last page of the insurance policy and, suddenly, something caught his eyes that stopped him in his tracks.

Something in fine print caught his eyes. Damn! He had almost screwed up the whole plan, indeed. His hand shaking, he replaced the cap on the bottle. The pain that enveloped him that night was yet the worst. All night he groaned and moaned from physical as well as mental pain.

Early in the morning the next day, Detective J.P. Creepy placed a call to Monica Grave. When her voice mail came on, he left a message: “Monica darling, this is J.P. I read the story of your release. You cannot imagine how happy I am to know that you are free. I’ve been waiting for this day. Please call me. I am ready to take you up on that marriage plan again… we will be so happy, darling… please call me”.

Two months after the marriage of Monica Grave and Detective J.P. Creepy, J.P. filed a criminal complaint against his wife at the local police station. Exactly three months after filing that complaint against his wife, his Life Insurance Company paid One Million Dollars on his life to his minor children. That next day, the Los Angeles Times carried the following story:

[Villagers of NigeriaVillageSquare were called upon to write the newspaper headline]

WayoGuy@aol.com

 




Your Comments

Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.

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RobotRobot is offline

 # 1 | 18.04.2008 06:31

Detective J.P. Creepy was recuperating from cancer at a

Cali...Read the full article.

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WayoGuyWayoGuy is offline

 # 2 | 18.04.2008 10:07

Dear mystery villager (you know who you are):

What other clues do you need to solve the puzzle?
Basically: what did J.P. Creepy do to get the Insurance company to pay One Million Dollars to his children?

Later
Wayo

PS. I think Eja, Anike, Mulan, and one other villager can solve this puzzle.

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MarinMarin is offline

 # 3 | 18.04.2008 11:22

The black widow strikes again.

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tonsoyotonsoyo is offline

 # 4 | 18.04.2008 11:29

Agatha "Wayo Guy" Christie,


What JP Creepy saw in the fine line print was that the insurance money would not be paid in case of suicide, he therefore needed somebody to do the job for him. The natural choice would be professional murderer Monica Grave.

He married Monica Grave changed the beneficiary of the insurance payout to her name to hasten the job showed her the policy and immediately changed back the beneficiaries to his children without Monica knowing it.

Of course Monica started to administer the cyanide on him, he filed a criminal complaint, he later died and the policy payment went to his children.

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chiirohachiiroha is offline

 # 5 | 18.04.2008 11:37

WG... welldone again. i guess other villagers not mentioned on your list can contribute... so here goes my shot at what the headline should read:

"The Black Widow and the Creep(y) Who Loved Her"

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FaduFadu is offline

 # 6 | 18.04.2008 12:13

" What a CREEPY re-arrest"

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AnikeAnike is offline

 # 7 | 18.04.2008 12:14

Detective Creepy saw that the life insurance will not be disbursed to his children if he committed suicide, so he married Ms. Grave and, knowing what she is capable of, watched her closely. 2 months later, he poisoned himself and filed a criminal case against Monica, claiming that she poisoned him. He died eventually, and the headline read Murdered Detective Creepy’s Will Reveals the Grave Mistake of Monica Grave, and the Washington Post reads From The Grave, Creepy Has the Last Laugh over Grave.

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WayoGuyWayoGuy is offline

 # 8 | 18.04.2008 17:11

Twenty one gun salute to all of you smart people above.
You did well.

The additional analyses by Tonsoyo and Anike deserve additional salute.
A good detective story always has at least two possible endings. So additional analyses by any person will be in order.

Obviously the story is not complete. I will end the story later with the most plausible suggestion.

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mulanmulan is offline

 # 9 | 18.04.2008 17:19

Grave news: Husband #6 buried, the black widow back in again for murder...

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denkerdenker is offline

 # 10 | 18.04.2008 17:51

...wayoguy..am absolutely disappointed..dis your episodical story no get any sophistication...na detective story wey dem dey tell for kindergarten..abeg next time make you no think say you have small kids for NVS..bring something with substantive complexities..you dey hear?..au revoir!
 

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