13

Feb

2007

A Village Photograph: The Shortest Nigerian Story PDF Print E-mail
By Wayo Guy

A Village Photograph:

 

    A long time ago, in a Nigerian village, a group of young mothers left their infant children with a 90-year-old senile lady for baby-sitting. As the women stepped out of the house, they heard the old lady complaining loudly that she had no teeth: “But I have no teeth, but I have no teeth …”. Some of the women walked back inside the house to ask the old lady what her teeth had to do with baby-sitting. But the wise, among the women, ran back inside, snatched their babies, and ran out because, according to the proverb, even a deaf man in a marketplace should not need to be told when a riot has broken out.

 

ithinkbetter: What a stupid story. What is your point Wayoguy?

Abraxas:Hi folks,

With the utmost disdain, slightly tempered by contrition, in light of my knowledge of your helpless predisposition to tautological legal verbosity and esoteric logic, I ask that you take a break from the village, because a quintessential behavioral pattern must materialize in order to dissipate.

Muchas gratias.

Sabella: Wayoguy, chei, this your tory self. Do you have the phone numbers for the women? Are they single mothers? My love life sucks in spite of the abundance of love and affection that I have waiting for the right woman.

 

Auspicious: Heheheheh. even a deaf man in a marketplace should not need to be told when a riot has broken out. Damn!, that one cracked me up… Wayoguy na you biko!.

 

I Love Nigeria:This is why I love the president. I have said it many times. Until the president and his weapon of mass destruction, Ribadu, are awarded the Nobel peace price, some of our critics will not be infused with the joy of Nigerianness like me. The women in that story should thank the president for providing them the opportunity to choose a baby-sitter of their choice.

 

GirlWifAnAttitudeNice and smooth story, WayoGuy. About the babysitting…I’d  hate to leave my baby with an old lady, that is if and when I meet that special someone and … you know. But the old lady’s plan, if it’s what I’m thinking, freaks me out…I  get goose bumps just thinking about it….

Emj: It is with bleeding heart that I tell you Paul to plz cut the Crap. OBJOKE and his demonic friends have Crapped big time…

Son of the Delta: Wayoguy, I don’t know if you know what is happening in the Delta region. As long as Idol worshipers (Worshipers of tin gods like Obasanjo), like Paul"I hate Nigeria " exist in Africa it would be extremely difficult for us to see positive developments.

Crimsonbabe: Wayo, this story is wonderful. I think I have heard this story somewhere,  I think. My cousin who had a baby recently would have loved it more if you had used Igbo names for the infants. Write some more please.

Ozodi Thomas Osuji: The senility of the old woman may have resulted from her low self esteem in her younger days, which is traceable to her childish tribe. In the end-stage of her life, that lack of fulfillment and her tribe’s penchant for blaming others for their inadequacies must have caused her to become senile and perhaps psychotic. That is why she mistook the infants entrusted to her for food.

UcheNworah: Wayoguy, this your handle will always be an obstacle. My suggestion is that you adopt a more mainstream name, such as Wale Akin. Nice story though.

Soul Sista: WayoGuy Mesiogo. Thanks a lot for the story. It has given me a lot of food for thought because I can relate to the need for babysitting.
Soul Sista a/k/a Soul Sizzling

DoubleWahala: Damn!!..Methinks this WayoGuy consults well-educated storytellers (or may very well be one himself). But don't quote me because he may just have a book of other people's stories; just look at his play on words and mixture of deceptive metaphors ...! Get it?DW

Shokoloko: Wayoguy, I think I know who you are referring to…

Anon: I have instructed Ogadinma and Iphey to stay away from this. If anybody gets near my family I will deal with him. I am not afraid of you.

 

Iphey: Why do you pass yourself out as a lawyer? Did you check your facts well before branding that old lady senile? If I did not know that old lady, I would have been deceived by your nonsense. Anyway, Jisike.




Your Comments

Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.

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RobotRobot is offline

 # 1 | 13.02.2007 23:27


A long time ago, in a Nigerian village, a group of young ...Read the full article.

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lawprofflawproff is offline

 # 2 | 13.02.2007 23:51

wayoguy,

i have been on this site reading for a couple of hours and often felt the urge to respond to many of the articles but held myself back until i read your beautiful story. as usual, this is another master-stroke by a very powerful and captivating story master, WAYOGUY.

i will like to read more of your stories everyday.

thank you for making my day!

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DoubleWahalaDoubleWahala is offline

 # 3 | 14.02.2007 00:12

WA....WAAAAAAAYO GUUUUUYYYY!!!! Ndia egbue Ndia! (these people have killed those people!) :D

I'm in stitches man. I cant stop laughing! Anon & Iphey's were the funniest.

Damn!! your acerbic wit and dead-pan delivery are bar none. Jisike :D

DW

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purplepurple is offline

 # 4 | 14.02.2007 00:42

Wayoguy,

this is hilarious. This one pass photograph o. E be like say na real portrait of our villagers. Spot on. You really take time to paint the picture well well.

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Uche NworahUche Nworah is offline

 # 5 | 14.02.2007 01:44

Wayoguy, this your handle will always be an obstacle. My suggestion is that you adopt a more mainstream name, such as Wale Akin. Nice story though. LOL

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AbraxasAbraxas is offline

 # 6 | 14.02.2007 02:40

Hi, WayoGuy!

After Peter Obey, the legendary photographer of the Daily Times of the 1960s and early 1970s, you are the next best photographer in sub-Saharan Africa.

Na you, jo!

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan Carlos ABRAXAS (III)

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denkerdenker is offline

 # 7 | 14.02.2007 03:26

WayoGuy:

...sur quoi travaillez-vous ? (what are you on?)...:confused1 i do not understand, anyways never mind me! you have captured the mood....it's hilarious....indeed!:D

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Shoko Loko BangosheShoko Loko Bangoshe is offline

 # 8 | 14.02.2007 05:08

Wayo Guy,

I think I know what the point of the story is... :D

Nice one.

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AuspiciousAuspicious is offline

 # 9 | 14.02.2007 09:40

Bwuhahahahahahaha!

Wayo Allah, dis WayoGuy don kolo! See me dey try make I nor react true-to-type..

Muheheheheheehehe!

Auspy.

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tatafotatafo is offline

 # 10 | 14.02.2007 11:43


Anon: I have instructed Ogadinma and Iphey to stay away from this. If anybody gets near my family I will deal with him. I am not afraid of you.

Iphey: Why do you pass yourself out as a lawyer? Did you check your facts well before branding that old lady senile? If I did not know that old lady, I would have been deceived by your nonsense. Anyway, Jisike.



This was the best abeg:lol: :lol: :biggrin: :biggrin:
 

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