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One fine day in the summer of 2006 I was minding my business in my law office here in Washington when my secretary buzzed me on the intercom. "Boss man," she said, playfully, "pick up the phone on line one. Sounds like one of your homeboys. He won't tell me anything else."
I expected the usual as I picked up the telephone receiver. I had dealt with homeboys who would not discuss their legal needs on the telephone. Typically uncertain of the legality of their solicitations and suspicious that Uncle Sam, like the proverbial big brother, monitors all telephone conversations, they prefer to come in and see me in person.
On this particular day, however, I was startled when I heard the voice on the other side of the telephone. It was unmistakably a Hausa man. A Hausa man had never consulted me although I had represented several Hausa women. As all Washingtonian-Nigerians know, it is rare to run into our Hausa brothers and sisters here. Igbo and Yoruba are everywhere, on the train, in the car next to yours on the street corner, at the grocery stores, at the movies, and of course at the festivities. Even Nigerians from tribes that are so small that you've never heard of their names can be found here. But Hausa? Unless you belong to the Hausa Organizations, such as Zumunta, or go to the Nigerian Embassy or you happen to know ....well, you get my drift. Even the Nigerian lawyers in Washington are disproportionately from Igbo and Yoruba ethnic groups (with one token Hausa lawyer that I know) and a sprinkle of learned brethren from the smaller tribes.
Therefore, I was taken aback as soon as the man on the other side of the telephone greeted me, in the Hausa language. He said he was down the street from my office and wanted to come to see me urgently. He had my address and, before I could say Sannu, he said he was on his way in five minutes and hung up.
Exactly five minutes later, the secretary buzzed me to announce his arrival. I left my office to meet him at the reception area.
As I approached him I took a quick mental snapshot of this impeccably dressed man, about thirty-five years old. Following closely behind him was another gentleman of about the same height and age. This second man had, on a leash, a hairless dog of peculiar visage.
“Sannu da zuwa (welcome)” I greeted.
“Sannu da aiki (greetings on your work) ” he responded, shaking my hand with both hands. “Ina wuni? (how is your day coming?).
“Lafiya lau. (Just fine)” I said. “Ba gajiya; na gode (no tiredness; thank you)”.
As he hesitated for a minute, while still holding my hand, I was forced to ask him: “Ka na jin harshen turanci kuwa? (do you speak English?).
“Yes, of course, absolutely, yes…” he quickly answered.
As soon as he sat down in my office, he introduced himself as Mallam Yusuf Shehu and dropped the previous day’s newspaper on my desk. I picked it up and read:
Nigerian Man Acquitted of Seventeen Counts of Fraud: Allegedly sold the same dog seventeen times
By Richard Van Dusen
Washington News Staff Writer
Monday, July 17, 2006
A Nigerian man, Yusuf Shehu, was yesterday acquitted of seventeen counts of fraud for allegedly selling the same dog to seventeen buyers. The jury of eight women and four men deliberated for only one hour following the final instructions of Judge Celine Jackson of the Superior Court. They returned a verdict of not guilty on all counts at exactly 4:05 p.m.
The verdict was not unexpected due to the last minute collapse of the government’s case after the sole witness against the defendant, Kenneth Adebayo, upon cross examination by the defendant, recanted his earlier testimony that it was the very same dog that was sold to seventeen people. Adebayo had volunteered his testimony to the government and became the government’s star witness since the buyers could not positively identify the dog. Adebayo had testified that Shehu trained the dog to return home following each sale. He claimed that prior to delivering the dog to the purchaser, Shehu made several practice runs, with the dog, along the route of the buyer’s residence thereby giving the dog the geographical information he needs to return home.
This unusual case had been in the news for more than a year when Shehu was arrested with his dog Wonder. Wonder, brought to the United States from Nigeria by Shehu was reported to have the uncanny ability to return home to its owner each time he was sold. One buyer reportedly traced the dog fourteen miles from where the dog was delivered to him to the residential address of Shehu. While seventeen buyers came forward to file police reports against Shehu and Wonder, it was estimated that the number of buyers may have exceeded twenty five. Each of the buyers testified in court that the dog, which they purchased with the intention of keeping as a house pet, mysteriously disappeared from their houses the day following the purchase. Curiously, none of the buyers had the dog on a leash after taking it home.
Shehu, who represented himself in court, insisted all along that it was not the same dog that he sold but was never able to produce the documentation for the ‘other’ dogs. Facing many years in prison, if convicted of even one felony count of theft by false pretense, Shehu still refused to be represented by counsel, choosing instead to represent himself. Upon conclusion of the government case, Shehu cross-examined Adebayo with a written note that Adebayo allegedly wrote to a relative in Nigeria. In the note, Adebayo had stated that his testimony against Shehu was false but he needed the publicity to aid his acting career… Confronted with the note, Adebayo had cried and asked for forgiveness in front of the jury.
When the judge still refused to dismiss the case, the jury was instructed on the law. It returned a not guilty verdict on all counts.
After reading the newspaper, I sat back on my chair and realized, for the first time that the man in front of me was on the evening news last night.
“Congratulations” I said. “Thank you. I came to see you on a serious legal question related to this case”, he whispered.
“I can’t really answer your questions” I warned, “because I am strictly a civil lawyer. This was a criminal case…”
“I understand, but I just want to verify what I heard about the legal doctrine of ‘double jeopardy’. I want to hear it from you as a brother…”
“I don’t understand where you are going” I responded.
“Well, I was advised that the ‘double jeopardy’ doctrine under the United States’ Constitution prohibits the government from taking me to trial again now that I have been acquitted no matter what …”
“That is a correct statement of the law”, I answered. "But I cannot give you legal advice."
“No matter what?”
“No matter what”, I confirmed.
“Thank you, sir. Thank you. I do not seek legal advice.”
As he left my office, I casually said to him “That false witness Adebayo should go to prison for perjury. What a low down …”
“Well sir, don’t be too judgmental”, and pointing at the man he came with, he said “This is Adebayo. It was me who sent him to be the star government witness in order for him to later recant his testimony under cross-examination. My gamble paid off when the prosecution took the bait and built the government case on his testimony. That gave me control of the case and the outcome. And as for my dog, you know it is Nigerian because American dogs are so stupid that they can’t even find their way back home from the house next door. I sold my dog about thirty times, not seventeen…but how I brought it to America is another story for another day. I bet you don’t know any other Nigerian who has ever brought his dog to America…”
I sat there dumbfounded.
Wayoguy@aol.com
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Posted by Robot| 08.01.2007 20:14