19

Aug

2008

Suffering And Smiling In Lagos PDF Print E-mail
By Uche Nworah

Suffering And Smiling In Lagos

By Uche Nworah (info@uchenworah.com)

On a recent visit to Lagos, Tony, a friend who manages a branch of one of the new generation banks in Abakiliki, Ebonyi State remarked thus; “You guys don’t have a life here in Lagos, you are all suffering and smiling”. Tony had to dig up a popular phrase of late Afro-beat musician Fela Anikulapo – Kuti in describing the lives of Nigerians living in Lagos (Lagosians). This was after a gruesome 4-hour traffic along Falomo bridge occasioned by the partial closure of Babangida’s Third Mainland Bridge.

I had to agree with Tony, as I have often asked myself what I am doing in Lagos when there are other towns in Nigeria such as Enugu, Kaduna, Owerri, Abuja, Awka and so on where one could still earn Lagos salaries, enjoy Lagos lifestyles without experiencing the dreaded Lagos miseries including waking up at 3 a.m to begin the daily commute to work, coming back home at midnight, daylight armed robbery attacks, pot-holed and flooded roads, traffic gridlocks, polluted air, dilapidated infrastructure, hyper-inflation and all other woes associated with ‘shuffering and shmiling’ in Lagos.

Typical Lagos Bus-Stop Scene

With challenges like these, It is difficult to be envious of the job of Babatunde Fashola, the well intentioned Lagos State Governor. Every major effort of his aimed at improving Lagos state gets immediately overshadowed by the visible decay and rot left by previous governments. A glance through the windows of a descending airplane shows a sprawling and decaying town begging for its glorious past. 

Perhaps some people in the corporate world could be pardoned for still enduring the crazy and soulless Lagos lifestyle. These are people doing what could be described as Head office jobs. But for the rest, I would encourage a discovery trip to Nigeria’s other towns and regions where  another and better life is very much possible.  

Popularly called Eko, its original name before the Portuguese arrived in the 15th century and subsequently renamed it, Lagos is the Hollywood of Africa. Everybody comes to Hollywood and Lagos in search of fame or fortune, or both. For some, the search for the fame or the fortune never materializes in their lifetime. For others, the actualisation of either the Lagos or Hollywood dream comes at a huge prize.

In Lagos’ many roads, particularly at major traffic junctions, you will see beggars of all sorts, mothers with their young babies strapped to their backs begging for arms in the hot scorching sun, quadriplegics strapped to  wheelchairs angling for positions with the cars, school age kids with tongues as sharp as razor, and as deadly as caustic soda whose learning is done everyday on the street, sickly individuals contracted by Lagos – smart businessmen and women, some with intravenous drip tubes dangling and sticking out from various parts of their bodies, others with heart-wrenching cancerous growths, wounds and open sores  standing in the way of the traffic begging for money.

In Lagos, a common fate binds both the beggars and their potential patrons;. For the former, it is physical misery; for the later, it is emotional torture and guilt. Many go home and pass up their dinner in frustration and anger as they reflect on the living dead walking and working all around them. In such a city, how can one even enjoy what little fortune fate and hardwork has thrust their way.

Lagos, Nigeria’s former capital and the economic hub of the country is a city of over 10 million people. UN projections is that the city’s population will reach 20 million by 2010. it is now ranked the 30th most expensive city in the world, and the most expensive in Africa according to Mercer’s 2008 Worldwide Cost of Living Survey published recently.

Lagos is probably the only town in the world that has no official “Welcome to..” signage on its borders. What Lagos has is just a “This is Lagos” sign. The hidden message in this cold and unwelcoming signage is that ‘This is Lagos, what you see is what you get’.

Those who live in and love Lagos say that Lagos holds a special type of appeal and magic. They love the Lagos hustle and bustle. There are stories of those who arrived with just a Ghana-Must-Go nylon sack with a one-way ticket on ‘The Young Shall Grow’ Luxury bus. On arrival, there is usually no welcoming relative or party, waiting accommodation or livelihood. For some, securing a sleeping space under  Lagos’ many bridges becomes the first true test of survival. Such persons go ahead to compete against man and the elements. There are the marauding ritualists (the Clifford Orjis) to evade at night and the heavy rains to shield from in the day. There are also the faulty breaks of Lagos’ many crazy drivers, including the commercial bus (Danfo and Molue) drivers to contend with. Lagosians claim that surviving in Lagos actually means that one can survive in any other city in the world. I tend to agree.

For civil servants and other paid employees, perhaps the time has come for an aspiring gubernatorial candidate to run on the promise of introducing Lagos Weighting Allowance (LWA) if elected. This will compensate at least in some small measure for the escalating cost of living and working in Lagos. This special allowance is currently being used in London where workers living in London are paid a little extra, sometimes over Five Thousand Pounds for living in, and working in London. What this means is that Mr A and Mrs C may be working for company Q and performing similar job roles at two different locations (London and Luton). Mr. A  who lives in London gets paid more than Mrs. C who lives in Luton every month because Mr. A spends more to get to work every month. There is also additional compensation for housing and other expenses associated with living in a big city. While this may not fully solve the many problems of workers living in Lagos, it will at least serve as some kind of palliative.

I visited Enugu recently with some friends and was shocked at the Four Thousand Naira bill the restaurant owner gave our 5-man lunch party for all we had eaten including second helpings and drinks. Charles Okoli, a friend who works for UBA in Lagos actually placed this in perspective for all of us. He remarked that what we had paid could hardly pay for one person’s meal at Yellow Chilli, a restaurant patronized mainly by the corporates in the Victoria Island area of Lagos.

Also during a recent business visit to Kaduna, I was informed by my colleagues in the North that the cost of renting an up market 4-5 bedroom duplex complete with servant quarters is about Five Hundred Thousand Naira (rent for similar houses in upmarket locations in Lagos range between 2-3 Million Naira) . This sum will not even pay for a one-room boys quarter in the Island area of Lagos. I remember my colleague Biodun’s expression when I told him of the asking prices of houses on sale around the Island and Lekki areas of Lagos. He wondered if the amounts Lagos letting agents and landlords were asking for was actually for buying places in heaven.

The situation is now such that while banks and other employers have started giving mortgage loans to their employees, the loan amounts being offered are usually not enough to meet the asking prices of Lagos landlords and letting agents, whereas similar employees living in other towns are able to buy multiple houses with their mortgage loans. Another case of ‘shuffering and shmiling in Lagos’.  

But just before you contemplate packing your bags, soul and sanity and moving to another city in Nigeria before life passes you by, ask yourself what you will miss most about Lagos. If you can answer this question, that’s your decision already made for you.

For the rest of us living in Lagos, the die-hards and stay-putters; perhaps the time has come for us to make our case before our employers for a Lagos Weighting Allowance

Nworah, a company executive in Lagos is the author of The Long Harmattan Season



Your Comments

Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.

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RobotRobot is offline

 # 1 | 19.08.2008 09:08

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Shoko Loko BangosheShoko Loko Bangoshe is offline

 # 2 | 19.08.2008 12:04

I disagree with the idea of a Lagos Weighting Allowance.

The reality is that Lagos is a city suffering from severe overcrowding, and there is little incentive for people to move out unless really high prices/rents force employers to consider setting up business elsewhere and employees to consider looking for jobs elsewhere.

Prices is to serve as a signal for resources to be distributed elsewhere. An LWA would just mute the signal and encourage people to stay in Lagos, or worse still continue to move to Lagos and make the overcrowding situation worse.

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EbeEbe is offline

 # 3 | 19.08.2008 12:39

Uche, thanks for a very illuminating piece. Not that we didn't already know all this unsavory truths about Lagos, but yours is yet another confirmation---from a guy on the ground.

I have never really understood the appeal of Lagos. Some people talk about the opportunities. I understand that. What I don't understand is that even people who have "made it" and can relocate elsewhere for some peace without harming their economic status choose to stay in Lagos. I have put it down to the fact that some people are gluttons for misery and suffering---emotional suffering, that is. Or is there something addictive or alluring about the disorder?

My attitude towards Lagos is similar to my attitude towards New York. I like to visit and enjoy the chaos once in a while, but living there would be almost impossible proposition for me. For one, I couldn't live in those cramped spaces called apartments. These visits serve to strengthen my resolve not to live in NY and help me to appreciate my more peaceful, less crowded, and cheaper abode.

Abuja is fast becoming another Lagos in terms of the high cost of living and the insane property prices.

That is why I like Kaduna. It's got almost all the thrills of Lagos and Abuja. It's less than two hours from Abuja in case you need to make a quick run to the capital. It's cheap, serene (never mind the occasional religious disturbance), and laid back. Your naira--or dollar--goes very far. I think Jos is the same way. There are many other cities like those two all over Nigeria.

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TonyTony is offline

 # 4 | 19.08.2008 14:20

God forbid, the last thing any Southerner should think of is moving to Kaduna.

You will sooner be beheaded, or burnt to death by the primitive murderers up there who search for any excuse including a cartoon in farway Denmark to murder fellow Nigerians.

I beg every Southerner in the name of God, please dont even in your wildest dreams contemplate moving to Kaduna.

Cheers.

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EbeEbe is offline

 # 5 | 19.08.2008 15:31

Tony:

Yes, but for the advantages I mentioned and for the opportunity to be a big fish in a small pond, the occasional outbursts of religious fanatics is probably a cost one could bear. You can't have it all, you know. After all, it's not like Lagos is without its own incidents of sudden deaths due to the menace of armed thugs, armed robbers, and fuel tanker explosions.

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only1integrityonly1integrity is offline

 # 6 | 19.08.2008 16:05

The taste of the pudding is in the eating. There is no place like Lagos. Trust me, no city in the world compares to Lagos. I love Lagos so very dearly. Ask me why, I really cant tell but it appears to be the most detribalized city in Nigeria. Am missing Lagos, badly too and cant wait to get back . 'Eko akete Eko ile'

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Miss B.Miss B. is offline

 # 7 | 19.08.2008 16:06

Isn't it time our government thought about standardising our cities? Every state capital and its satellite cities by now should at least have all of the infrastructure of Abuja or better; at least we know its possible now, right?

It's only a matter of time before Abuja becomes saturated like Lagos and then, Abuja residents would be looking for another flashy town to run to.
Abuja is an unfortunate facade and if development is not decentralised then our nation will continue to go nowhere fast.

Hospitals, schools, markets, streets, street signs--they should be constructed, equipped and erected according to (high) national standards and any town that doesn't comply should face a penalty. (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was talkin about a civil society!):rolleyes:

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RAYNOSARAYNOSA is offline

 # 8 | 19.08.2008 16:24


=Miss B.;4295085592>Isn't it time our government thought about standardising our cities? Every state capital and its satellite cities by now should at least have all of the infrastructure of Abuja or better; at least we know its possible now, right?

It's only a matter of time before Abuja becomes saturated like Lagos and then, Abuja residents would be looking for another flashy town to run to.
Abuja is an unfortunate facade and if development is not decentralised then our nation will continue to go nowhere fast.

Hospitals, schools, markets, streets, street signs--they should be constructed, equipped and erected according to (high) national standards and any town that doesn't comply should face a penalty. (Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was talkin about a civil society!):rolleyes:



What do expect from senseless and mindless people

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salstepsalstep is offline

 # 9 | 20.08.2008 12:27

Nothing in the Lagos. The place smells worse than a pit toilet. After 8 weeks in that hell hole, I will definitely be looking at other cities. And don't be fooled by those dat sing about life on the island. Except u work from home, the place is just as bad.

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OgiOgi is offline

 # 10 | 20.08.2008 12:47

Lagos? Hm! I reserve my comment.:lol:
 

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