Brothers Behaving Badly

Brothers Behaving Badly

By Uche Nworah

Our black sisters in the UK must still be fuming right now, particularly those from the Caribbean islands over this latest ‘affront', which is like a slap in their faces and a vote of no confidence on their beauty, womanly virtues, and on the other characteristics that brothers look for in women these days.

L-R Sol Campbell, Cheryl Tweedy, Ashley Cole & Fiona Barratt

Ashley Cole's marriage to Girls Aloud Singer (Cheryl Tweedy) is not surprising, it is consistent with the age old habit of successful black men in the UK, (and in America too I guess) abandoning sisters from their ‘hood, choosing instead to cross over the street and find their love matches amongst white chics. I'm sure some of these sisters, with their hairs tucked nicely under hair driers in Peckham's many beauty shops, the many others putting finishing touches to their nails, and the ones waxing their faces in the quest to enhance their appeal would be cursing and swearing at the same time, out of disgust and disappointment and thinking out aloud ‘damn, another one taken, what's with these brothers?'.

Such outbursts may not be surprising as black sisters would normally regard brothers like Ashley and his likes that prefer white chics to their black sisters as lost causes and tormented souls. This habit usually surfaces whenever the going gets good for the brothers, that is when they suddenly realise that their black sisters ‘goods' aren't good enough anymore.  

But do you really blame brothers like Ashley, and Sol Campbell, his friend and former Arsenal team mate who also had his current white girlfriend (interior designer Fiona Barratt) in tow at the Ashley Cole wedding. This despite his previous weird experiences from his off-and-on liaisons with 44 year-old celebrity interior designer (Kelly Hoppen) which ruined his 2005/2006 football season and almost cost him his football career. And speaking about Sol Campbell, what is it about him and interior decorators? Oh! Plus older women. Weird isn't it?

And what is it about white chics that lure successful brothers like them away, so much so as to make them forget about all the bootylicious endowments and soul food skills of our black sisters?

Could this be as a result of low self-esteem or inferiority complex on the part of these brothers, a situation where they begin to see the white chics as their passports and tickets to breaking into the traditional and ultra conservative English society, and party circuits, or is it just that the white girls ‘do it' better than our black sisters?

This is really worrying because it is our black sisters that should be crawling those Soho night clubs and raiding those West end boutiques as footballers' wives (WAGs), and deservedly too, not these white chics that would use our brothers and eventually dump them when the going gets tough.

Maybe these brothers should speak to Frank Bruno first before getting in on the act of crossing over. The former heavyweight champion probably is still suffering from the stress of separating from his ex-wife who seemed to have jumped ship when Frank's chips were down. And to think that it is us, the brothers and our black sisters that rallied round him when he was going through his rough patch in 2003.

If you ask me, I think that our black sisters should stage a walkout and protest match at the Soho headquarters of the Football Association (FA), they should also put in their complaints in writing and demand the FA to launch an inquiry immediately into this growing trend of brothers abandoning their roots. If not checked, our sisters would loose all the few good (and rich) men (footballers) still around.

Thierry Henry is already taken, and by whom? Sure you guessed right, by a white chic. Christian Kerembeau, remember him? He was in the French world cup winning squad of 1998; and has been long taken by the supermodel Adriana who now also doubles as his wife. Even young Theo Walcott, the great black hope, didn't you see his white WAG (acronym for footballers wife and girlfriend invented by the British press, apparently the reasons for England's poor fortune at the World Cup) hanging out with other WAGS during the World Cup in Germany? Even Jermain Defoe, the petit sized Totenham Hotspurs misfit also always has a white chic in tow.   

Infact all the available black footballers are heavily into white chics, now you see where I'm coming from? This surely is worrying. It is only our black footballers from Africa who still manage to patronize the ethnic community as regards their choice of girlfriends or wives, see how Kanu Nwankwo cleverly went back to his village to capture Amarachi, even Jay-Jay Okocha too; he imported his from back home. I don't know about Celestine Babayaro, but I sure don't trust that brother, every time you run into him in a bar or club in London, you will find him in the company of white chics. Sisters, please do us and yourselves a big favour, go grab him now, don't let him go the way of the others. It's your money after all; help keep it in the black community. And while you are at it, do a stakeout at Stamford Bridge for John Obi Mikel, it's always better to catch them young before these white chics capture him too, Afterall he is now a Chelsea FC football millionaire. 

Or won't you guys like to see our Ifeomas, Fumis and Aminas dashing in and out of Harrords under the cover of large dark Gucci sunglasses, clutching Louis Vitton multi-colour bags and being chased down by the paparazzi, of course with those William ‘the fridge' Perry type bodyguards in tow ? These brothers should help and bring some glamour into our black community. We are tired of the drugs and teenage pregnancy stories all the time.  

Look at O.J Simpson's experience in America; surely he didn't think that Nicole Brown-Simpson was going to be there with him forever, did he? Who wants to hang around an out-of-pocket, has-been football player? When O.J lost his star power and wasn't attracting much society gossips and column inches anymore, Nicole walked. Which white chic will endure that kind of humiliation? But our black sisters would, they would always be there, come rain or shine or am I fantasizing here?

This is not to say that black men are not capable of loving white women and vice versa, and don't you go thinking that I'm racially biased, no I am not. I have been with white chics in the past but surely like attracts like. I'm down with our black sisters any day, for reasons that wifey won't like to see me mention here. Again, don't call me a racist, but we sure do have lots of unmarried sisters in our communities, and it would help our cause if the likes of Ashley Cole do also look their way. As role models to young black men, they should set the pace.

Who says black sisters can not generate enough column inches and media profile, capable of attracting sponsorships and increased earnings for black brothers? The person should check out Naomi Campbell, a sister like that is capable of reviving dead careers with her on your side. That's what I'm talking about.  

Our Nigerian sisters though may not care a hoot about this because they got it all going and wrapped up for them by our Nigerian brothers, but the challenge also goes to them. Despite all their sme sme and garagara, we are yet to hear of any of them that have landed a big fish since Regina Askia's misadventure when she married the African-American Rudolph Williams, the marriage has since broken down because of Regina's continued extra-marital relationship with Charles Orie, a close friend of late Obidiozor Otokoto of the 1996 Otokoto ritual fame.

Our Nigerian sisters should at least show some sisterly love; by showing some concerns and worry on behalf of our Caribbean sisters over the way white chics now grab the few eligible and rich brothers still available. It could be them being served next.

July 2006. info@uchenworah.com