My darling villagers, due to popular demand and especially Dimaanu’s call for a romantic twist to my fish and crocodile tale, I have decided to continue the story of my sleepy village.

There could have been moments of romance between me and those boys sha but as I said earlier, I stood no chance, not for not being a woman but because I had some physical challenges. You know, as a growing teenager, my back axle and head lights refused to manifest when they were much needed, this in turn left me with flat chest adorned with only two tiny nipples; I had long broom stick styled legs, flat stomach and high waist.

The only redeeming feature in my body was my set of teeth which had a middle split, so I tried as much as possible to put this to maximum use in my effort to create an impression among those boys. Somebody once told me that I had beautiful set of teeth and that if I smiled more and frowned less, people would feel my beauty. From the time this news was broken to me, I had resorted to opening my mouth at the slightest opportunity.

We had gone to the boys’ hostel to fetch water, a rare errand I enjoyed running above others. As we approached the well area, I noticed that some of the boys had come out to fetch water, I immediately started acting demure and putting on all the adult pretences that I had observed my aunty putting on whenever an admirer is within sight of her. I adjusted and readjusted my wrapper; kept looking behind me to see if my tiny backside made the required movements; I adjusted my headscarf for additional effect also. The boys just kept on with their task without even glancing my way.

Then we got to the well and I enacted my pepsodent smile for the benefit of the three boys who were still drawing water at the time. I did not know their names, I just knew that they were cute; I had no preference among the three, I just wanted to secure a general approval. I shifted close to the one who had the bail, held his hand and started swinging it back and forth, I think I was about to ask him a question at the time but I had not yet mastered the art of opening my teeth and talking at the same time, so all that came out of the whole show was my teeth flashing as my face turned up to the boy looking down at me. I must have smiled for too long because the boy frowned at me and said. “My dear, why are you just opening your teeth at everybody? Is it because you have split dentition?”

To say I was confused would be putting it mildly, no, I was not embarrassed; It is only when you understand something very well that you can determine whether it is embarrassing or not. I did not know what the boy meant by “split dentition” I understood the part about opening my teeth and of course I solved the problem by quickly shutting my mouth. Split dentition was a new word to me and in the ensuing confusion; I forgot to ask the boy what it meant. I looked the word up in the dictionary later and when the meaning came on, I made up my mind never to open my mouth again.

My first major break in the romance department was in my daddy’s village- Anai Okpo. Then I was sixteen and thankfully everything had started budding, the headlights and the back axle had fallen in place as if they were waiting for this age.

At this stage, I had been tactfully drafted to the village by my grand mum who had so many farms we lost count. She insisted on me spending all my spare holidays in Anaiokpo. The stay in my daddy’s village turned out to be very tedious; full of farm work. I only had time to enjoy my stay during Christmas when all the people who lived in the cities would come home. Boys came home with their parents. One of the boys became my first prince charming. He came in from a nearby town. The day he saw me, I was on stage performing and he had come in with a group of his friends to watch the concert…

Robot  Villager

# 1 My darling villagers, due to popular demand and especially Dimaanu’s call for a romantic twist ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 15.03.2008 10:12

emj  Villager

# 2 There could have been moments of romance between me and those boys sha but as I said earlier, I stood no chance, not for not being a woman but because I had some physical challenges. You know, as a growing teenager, my back axle and head lights refused to manifest when they were much needed, this in turn left me with flat chest adorned with only two tiny nipples; I had long broom stick styled legs, flat stomach and high waist. Hmmmm.......interesting and refreshing....Anne, keep em coming....me like the short scripts......hope to read from u at least once a week. So wat happened.......tell us more abour ur 1st Prince Charming and all da ere ori itage.....da chase?:cool: Posted by emj| 15.03.2008 15:52

Dimaanu  Villager

# 3 Anne...Anne! :lol::lol: Thank you for granting my humble request. I know that there's more where this is coming from.....More! BTW, I suspect that the early arrival of the "back axle" and "head lights" slow down growth.:lol: I bet you are tall....No? Posted by Dimaanu| 15.03.2008 22:52

aringaranso  Villager

# 4 Good one again Anne, Just the "series" going................................ Posted by aringaranso| 16.03.2008 16:35