I and my male colleagues held a debate on the male superiority issue and the male tendency to exert unnecessary pressure over the will of the woman. One of them said “I believe that when a woman says “no’ she actually means “yes”.

When he said this,  I understood why I sometimes come across some men who would never take my no for an answer. In fact I have had to make promises that I know I don’t have the intention of keeping because if I tell a guy “no” he will be tempted to push until my answer changes to suit him.

My ex-boyfriend, Patrick visited from the USA he had offloaded a container full of prospects that would benefit me as soon as he got there. “Give me three months and I will send for you”

My hopes were initially kept alive by his emails and phone calls.  Six months later, the phone calls became less frequent and the letters reduced to a minimum, their contents also lost the passion that had characterized the sincerity of the relationship.

When Patrick’s letters and emails stopped coming, I suspected foul play, I did what I am very good at doing, physically and mentally swept the whole affair under the carpet and purged myself of all emotions. I did not feel hurt since it was not yet clear that I had been jilted, I just mentally shielded myself from any impending unpleasantness.

Three weeks ago, I received a call from Patrick, he was in Lagos. He had arrived Nigeria the previous night. He wanted me to come to his hotel room in Victoria Island. I told him I was too busy and will not be able to visit him in his hotel. That answer obviously did not sit well with him. ‘How can you be too busy to see me? He exclaimed in shock. In my mind, I thought,” Look at this olosi” but I told him that my boss had just given me some very urgent assignments that could not wait. “‘Seriously Anne, I want to see you” sorry, I am too busy; I told him and ended the call.

The following morning, I was upstairs in my office when the security man came to inform me that a man was asking to see me.  It was Patrick, he looked fresh and handsome. “I can see you have done very well for yourself, I told him” “do you have a moment, let’s go out” he said. “Sorry, I am busy,” I told him.  “Let me take you out for lunch then, when do you want me to come back?

“I don’t want you to come back….i started protesting but Patrick was already moving away as he said confidently, “I will pick you by two You should be hungry by then.” So saying, he breezed off. When he came back by two, I refused to go down and see him, I told him on the intercom that I was not going out. After waiting for some thirty minutes, he left. I refused to pick his calls after that. He left for America three days later.

Then just this morning, I got a call from Chike, a guy who proposed to me some five months back. We met in church, where I had gone to cover his father’s 69^th birthday celebrations. Chike took I and my crew out for lunch after the ceremony and drove us to my house where we spent some time selecting the pictures to use for our publication.

I was fixing up my room one day when he came in; he took a look at the place and said I needed an air conditioner to complete the décor. The electrician, looking at him and seeing a ‘big man” quickly said he had an air conditioner for sale. “When will you bring it? Chike asked him. “Anytime you want, the man replied. ‘Okay, bring it over the weekend” That weekend, Chike did not show up and I had deliberately refused to call and remind the electrician. Chike appeared two weeks later, full of stories of how his mum’s wardrobe got burnt and bla, bla. I did not mention the aircondiioner.

Two months later, Chike appeared again in my house very early in the morning. As soon as I opened the door, he opened his hands for a hug, “oh! My darling, I have missed you so much!  I instinctively moved out of reach “Why do you always shrink from my touch? Since you say I can’t have the other side until we are married, I can at least have a hug can’t I? He asked. “Not in my house” I told him.

A week later, he called me, I was broke. I told him I was on my way to the salon; he said he would pick me up later for a drink. I told him about my broken status and the fact that I needed one thousand naira to wash my hair; he said I should give him a call when I am done with washing my hair. When I finished, I called him, he did not pick his calls. He later switched the phone off.

I did not hear from Chike until two weeks later, he called me at close of work; he missed me and wanted to come to the house. I told him I was tired and already in bed. Three days later, he called me again early in the morning. Again he missed me and wanted to come to the house. I told him not to come. He asked me why he should not come. I did not have a reason except that I did not want him to come to my house. If I needed to see him, I will go to his house was how I put it. Thirty minutes later, Chike was knocking on my door and yelling my name. I refused to open the door. He kept knocking for ten minutes before finally departing. I refused to pick his call after that.

Robot  Villager

# 1 I and my male colleagues held a debate on the male superiority issue and the male tendency to e...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 03.06.2008 01:34

AJ_96  Villager

# 2 Chike na one funny guy. lol Posted by AJ_96| 03.06.2008 06:19

okenikpoto  Villager

# 3 Anne, I want to ask you one question, why is it that women always talk about what they did to men and not what they did together? You have presented your own side of the story and I know that if Patrick and Chike are inducted into NVS, this thread will elongate like one of those controversial posts of Okey Ndibe. I have been telling you to gimme a chance to show you unadulterated love, affection and ohhhhhhh Posted by okenikpoto| 03.06.2008 10:37

omoboi  Villager

# 4 anne, know that what u didnt give patrick, one patricia somewhere would well be availing him without much ado and what u shielded from chike, one chika somewhere would have opened sesame...so why u no kuku give and take:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: Posted by omoboi| 03.06.2008 11:06

fmkp  Villager

# 5 Anne, You speak from the heart. Sometimes, I'm tempted to share the turmoil in your soul. Now, you see, you already found two people that must have met those criteria you specified in your anguished request "I need a Man" but you have also seen how vain and unreliable men of such "Timber, Muscle and Caliber" can be. Does this give you food for thought and reason for sober reflection? Besides, is it true that you told Chike you cannot "do the other thing" till you are married? Remember you told us how you used to like having sex after each stage performance? Why have you been holding your new and potential boyfriends to ransom? Have you suddenly found something wrong with pre-marital sex? Again, how can you determine if your new man "is it" without seeing "The Other Side of Midnight"? Good luck, Anne. FMKP Posted by fmkp| 03.06.2008 12:15

anneoboho  Villager

# 6 =fmkp;4295049808>Anne, You speak from the heart. Sometimes, I'm tempted to share the turmoil in your soul. Now, you see, you already found two people that must have met those criteria you specified in your anguished request "I need a Man" but you have also seen how vain and unreliable men of such "Timber, Muscle and Caliber" can be. Does this give you food for thought and reason for sober reflection? Besides, is it true that you told Chike you cannot "do the other thing" till you are married? Remember you told us how you used to like having sex after each stage performance? Why have you been holding your new and potential boyfriends to ransom? Have you suddenly found something wrong with pre-marital sex? Again, how can you determine if your new man "is it" without seeing "The Other Side of Midnight"? Good luck, Anne. FMKP It is not all about sex, especially when a man thinks he can use the promise of marriage as a decoy to GET IT. You see Chike came up with that promise and every commandment that goes with it. Telling him to hold on was my own way of saying, "yeah, I may agree to marry you in the long run but I am not sexually attracted to you. Well if the worst had come to the worst and I had settled with him, then I would have developed an interest, you can never tell. But he proved false, just as my brain had told me he would. He did not come as himself, he started making promises he could not fulfill and a false and boastful character is a great bedroom turn off. As for premarital sex, I think I am developing a passion for this abstinence thing and I am learning to really zip up. Thank you very much. Posted by anneoboho| 03.06.2008 12:46

anneoboho  Villager

# 7 =okenikpoto;4295049719>Anne, I want to ask you one question, why is it that women always talk about what they did to men and not what they did together? You have presented your own side of the story and I know that if Patrick and Chike are inducted into NVS, this thread will elongate like one of those controversial posts of Okey Ndibe. I have been telling you to gimme a chance to show you unadulterated love, affection and ohhhhhhh My dear, read ALL my articles, I bare all. It's a parrot world, I say it as it is. Come to think of it, what is there to really cover up? Patrick and I had sex before he travelled to the USA and forgot me untill maybe when he felt horny again, that is no secret. Chike did not do it, I read into his character and found out he was just playing up, there are lots of sex options open to a woman, we don't have to pretend about the man we have not tasted. what in your opinion does UNADULTERATED LOVE and affection translate to? Is it the phenomenal falsehood and double standards you are capable of? Posted by anneoboho| 03.06.2008 13:01

anneoboho  Villager

# 8 =omoboi;4295049743>anne, know that what u didnt give patrick, one patricia somewhere would well be availing him without much ado and what u shielded from chike, one chika somewhere would have opened sesame...so why u no kuku give and take:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: well. open sesame is good but it is not always advisable. people take advantage of people a lot that way. If some other ones are already opening indiscriminately, I don't see why I should join the queue, three is a crowd! Posted by anneoboho| 03.06.2008 13:12

aringaranso  Villager

# 9 Weeeeep No More Anne, For I am coming, Not to be that Pat and Chike were But To be that they couldn't be That which you had wanted them to be And have always desire I shall dance according to your tune And to your beat only and soley shall I dance to That royally treat you've been longing for Which Pat and Chike couldn't give Shall I give to you So far,You keep giving me my Edikaikang LOL Posted by aringaranso| 03.06.2008 15:31

emenanjo  Villager

# 10 From the tone of your write-up, I can see that you are beginning to repent. That is a sign of good things to come your way. But I want to assure you that you can never get the ideal man or ideal woman. It exist only in our imagination.In reality, you can only have approximations of your ideal man. It is only you, through what the Bible calls a "discerning spirit", that can discern the man you want, even from afar. But when you are in the "world" and think only of the "world", you will end up discerning a "worldly" man. And, the two people depicted in this article are classical examples. Again, from your write-ups, I know you are a beautiful lady. I can discern it from where I am. I have always advised ladies that love is not what people say but what they do. Most ladies like to hear "I love you, I love you", but this can be easily mouthed by anyone. Again, you were able to detect or is it discern it, ones more from the actions of these two guys. Kudos for that. However, read the Bible yourself, don't go to any pastor to pray for you, just read the Bible by yourself and pray along, I can assure you, that you will see the answer in that book.But before God can reveal it to you pointblankly and give you the spiritual understanding, you have to sincerely give your life to HIM, fellowship with christians to build up your spiritual defenses against the things of this world, and Eureka! the answer will come. Nevertheless, if your piece is just a satire and you are looking for a man according to the dictates of the world, I will assume you are too qualified and too good for God to help, in that case I will advice you marry your certificate and leave the men alone. We have had enough of Delilahs and jezeebels who are looking for men to bring to damnation and ruination. Posted by emenanjo| 03.06.2008 15:41

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