| CANARY: He Whom The Women Maltreat. |
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| Written by Anne Oboho | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Monday, 09 June 2008 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I have a page devoted to the lifestyles of personalities. On that page I have published interviews with presidents and state governors; not interviews about state or national policies but about things people would not ordinarily think of asking them. Avery strange page, one top designer exclaimed when I started my questions, “oh my God! I have never granted this type of Interview before” the questions are amusing and intimate. These personalities love talking to me; my questions make them relax and in the process, they unveil things about themselves that they would not tell journalists in other circumstances.
When my friend resigned from the business desk, the editor sent me to replace her but our publisher was concerned because that would mortgage the personality pages, he was not willing that the page should be rested. My method for getting interviews are very aggressive; I would go to events, where celebrities attend, I would walk up to some of them and in the midst of the noise from the sound systems, I would kneel by their side and stick my midget close to their mouth and fire my questions, in situations like that they try to be as nice as possible and not betray their beastly side to a hall full of people.
I assured my publisher that I could cope combining both desks the business desk, I told him, would even avail me enough supply of personalities in the business circle for the personalities page. The first event I attended was on a reference from my former colleague. After the event, we departed and I came back to the office to face a draught of materials for the page. My friend saw my worry and told me that the only way I could actually talk to the business people would be at events since it would prove very difficult to get access to their offices for interviews.
At a recent event, I stumbled on the top-flight director I had missed out on at the last event. I started stalking him, during the buffet line up; I walked up to him, ignoring other company directors who were crowding around him. I asked him for a personality interview; after a lot of dragging, he finally agreed to grant me the interview on his way out but he also said I must be on the look out so I can catch him at the doorway. I kept my tape cued for the purpose and also watched his movement like a hawk. As soon the event was over, I cornered him; other journalists saw my move and rushed after us.
We took him to a seat in the hotel reception, I allowed every other person to talk to him, when they were through and had gone, I asked him to start by telling me about his background, where he was born, the kind of parents he was born to and the entire scoop. He was so candid, it was admirable. In the course of the interview, I discovered he was not even a Nigerian, which explained his candid nature. He held nothing back, an impressive resume, his parents were very educated and they gave him the best of educational background. He had an easy charming way about him, I told him so and he said “thank you”. Then I asked him how he kept the ladies away, being so handsome. He told me he did not know but that his ex-wife obviously left because she did not think he was good enough for her. In my mind I thought “oh! You foolish woman” He was a business executive, in fact, the president of a multi national corporation. He was young, did not possess the kind of airs some Nigerian men in his position had and his honesty and openness was killing and I felt, “why on earth would a woman leave such a diamond?
My neighbour’s wife lives in a room opposite her husband and I have never seen the man sleep over in his wife’s wing of the house since I packed into the compound. It is always dramatic, whenever he needed something from that part of the house, he would knock on the door and wait for his wife to be in a mood to open the door. One night, he brought in another woman into his own room and his wife went from her room into his own room and drove the woman away. I felt very sorry for the poor guy.
He was a very kind hearted fellow, albeit with dubious manners. I understand he once engaged in advanced fee fraud (419) before it went out of vogue and left him without victims and without money. He took to drinking and smoking heavily but I am always very upset when his wife treats him with such contempt. The bible is our authentic reference to the institution of marriage. When God gave Eve to Adam, He called her “a help meet” in other words, a helper made exclusively for him, his own helper, somebody to hold out the hand to him when he is down. I do not understand some women making money their focus and despising a husband in times when he no longer has the money.
A wife is called a virtuous woman in the book of proverbs, she is the one who wakes up to gather the grains for her husband and kids; she is the one who weaves the materials to sell and bring money for food. In other words, the wife is a woman of industry, when the money is not in her husband’s purse, people are not supposed to notice because her own bag will be filled with hard earned money.
A husband is different from a boyfriend. With a boyfriend, you can afford to be here today and gone tomorrow. When a man exchanges marriage vows with a woman and gives her his ring, he is saying to her, “this is my life, I trust you with it; I am loving you with it” from that moment onwards, he becomes her responsibility, she becomes responsible for his success and failures. If he fails, it could only mean, she is not doing her duty, which includes, supporting him with money and sincere prayers.
I always know a bond between a woman and a man is beyond spiritual. To work out, a man has to find his own spiritual mate and vice versa but people put money at the center of everything and men go for fairy tale wives at times. At the end of the day, your wife is the help meant for somebody else and your husband is somebody else’s husband. The pieces are supposed to fit, if you are discerning enough, you will know it from the dating stage.
I have heard of and even seen wives killing husbands and husbands killing their wives, these are the wrong pieces put together. The partners have been driven to the extremes of enduring a mismatch and so they kill to liberate themselves, it’s a bizarre irony. Despising a man because he could no longer provide the money is kicking him when he is already down. I remember when my boss had challenges and could not pay us for five months. Many of my colleagues left but I stuck there, I did not feel it was the right time to abandon him. I took a part time job somewhere else and used that to support myself.
When he asked why I stayed back, I told him it was not all about money; life has more to do with relationships than material substances like money. He is a good man and you don’t abandon a good man because he doesn’t have money. I think wives should understand that the marriage concept is like a partnership with collective responsibilities. An honest man is difficult to find in this age of falsehood. So many men don’t come in honest, simple packs. The quality is more than all the money in the world put together.
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| Last Updated ( Monday, 09 June 2008 ) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Posted by Robot| 09.06.2008 07:45