The tragedy of it all is for mortal men {genetically writing} to leave their destiny in the hands of others.

NAI_colloquium1

The Bag: {part 4 = The Return of Pius Adesanmi, et al}

The tragedy of it all is for mortal men {genetically writing} to leave their destiny in the hands of others.

NAFATA BAMAGUJE:

Nafata Bamaguje's role has been cut out for him. Facts on the ground are that religions of all banners and symbols appear not to have provided the healing balm - at least, in the material and economic sense to the teeming population of Nigeria. Bamaguje submitted a budget to me. He will visit China to understudy what that country did to keep its people focused on economy and wealth creation while placing religion at the back burner. Nafata is aware that while Nigeria preaches non interference in religious practices, a secular state, it favors pilgrimages to Mecca and Jerusalem through cash distribution to adherents of these faiths. This selectivity is done in exclusion of other faiths like Traditional worshippers, Pagans, Hindus, Buddhists, etc. In a country where basic amenities are almost non-existent, Bamaguje would get the people to make government has a change of heart, accept to pluck back funds given to faiths and channel same to projects that directly affects peoples' livelihood.

Bamaguje's acceptance to be an itinerant preacher is what we need at this time. He will follow the cow herdsmen and educate them on the importance of keeping their religion only as a personal relationship to Allah. He will inculcate in their minds the value of living in equanimity with other beings that are no adherents to same religion. Bamaguje is poised to take his cause to our public schools and institutions in the South. He will not tell the students to shun religion. However, backed with charts, pictographs and life examples, he will sway them towards adopting measures that would see them emancipate economically. He will preach to the students the value of willingly accepting, without prodding or fear of consequences attitudes that would make them better persons in our society and the world.

I consider Nafata Bamaguje's task to be the most important as the aim is to target the mindset of our cattle headers and our up-coming youths. At the completion of this exercise, past nefarious activities of cows bursting into public places, defecating in private places, leisurely strolling in our airport landing grounds and joblessness would be expunged from our history. I have voted the largest sum of money for Bamaguje's itinerancy both in the desert plains of North, bushes of South, schools and universities.

PIUS ADESANMI:

Pius needs no introduction. His lime-light grew probably when he made his entrance as a member of NVS {nigeriavillagesquare.com}. He saw dark days when he attributed negative comments against commentators on NVS and yet, refused to take back his words. Commentators like @Igboamaeze were so peeved that they wondered what would become of Pius were he to ascend a throne, a political role, when he could not say "sorry" over his own misdemeanor now that he is like a green and fresh grass "at the lowest ebb of the mountain." If we must go down memory lane a bit, exchanges of diatribe and defenses erupted when a commentator questioned Prof. Pius tantrums over an article he {Pius} wrote raising the hands of an old secondary school mate as representing and or symbolizing how deep corruption has eaten into the veins of our political Marabous. Just after he battled with this negative, Pius high marks came as relieve. The positive turn of events occurred when Prof. Pius hitch-hiked for 40 nights in the streets of Kanada {Canada}. After that, he invented a new religion which he took to South Africa. Sold to his epistles, South Africans saw value in his invention and Awarded him Zulu's Cum laude.

For our project, Prof. Pius Adesanmi has accepted to relocate to Nigeria by 2012. On arrival, the JIHAD {not a religious upheaval}, he had started would gain stream. He will stand in the market place of Okene and proclaim the following words;

Those of you, who are making noise, please, listen well.

All those clapping, please, wait.

After my speech, you may continue clapping and dancing when I leave.

I have lots to do; I'm too busy and have no time for these.

For far too long, we have been writing.

It is not for lack of penmanship that this country has not changed.

Who among you here can say that he/she have not heard of Chinua Achebe?

Are there any here who does not know of our own Kongi?

If any of you has not heard of Baguada Kalto and Ubani Chima {May their deaths not be in vain}, you've obviously heard of Achebe and

Soyinka. Do you remember Chief Gani Fawehinmi?

We may not stop writing but more than writing, we have decided to direct our energy to a practical human cause. My brothers, nothing has changed. You may see new faces but they are only a maskÔÇŽjust like some words spoken by today's young are beyond my ken. I say to you, unmask the new faces and old faces re-surfaces.

We may not stop writing but it will be John bull and mere foolery if we do not carry out this JIHAD to take back our corners, streets, localities, states and eventually our country from brainless and inept men and women that thinks they hold the yardstick to define the quantity of air we should breath, how much farts we should disgorge, in fact, who feel they run our lives and define our common destiny.

I will not ask you people, my people if you're ready to join me because I know you are. Or are you not?

Shouts of, "WE ARE, WE ARE," seized the air contracting and consuming other noises.

However, when a bit of sanity was restored, one voice distinctively asked; "Ready for what?" The crowd fished out that voice. They punched the voice down to the sandy floor, tugged on his pants, screeched a side of his ears on sand-sand, and peeled his hairless scalp off. Blood oozed and they left him naked, some of his front teeth gone. Pius was not aware of all this. He continued;

This is why I have returned. We will take our JIHAD, right from here, Okene to Ilorin and to Jos. We will move to Abuja and transcend up north through my brother, Salisu Suleiman. Suleiman will take over the match from Zaria. Now, you can shout or clap or dance or play musicÔÇŽ.I'm leaving. I want to call Okey to see what progress he is making in the Eastern bloc.

Prof. Pius will have a budget from my money a little lower than that of Nafata

Bamaguje.

OKEY NDIBE:

You people know my struggle. Last time, I met with Prof. AÔÇŽ.{an okada horn drowned the name} at British Columbia University and that man Peter ObiÔÇŽ.anyway, it's Obasanjo that is the main problem. I have returned to Nenwe {Nnewi} not to ask or wedge a 2nd World War but to tell you all that the foolishness of not balancing your vote as the South-west did is really foolish. I have low appetite to swallow this kind of nonsense. Can't you all see the political savviness of the South-west when they voted GEJ, sliced some carrot to Riba-Riba by handing him Osun and gave some sticks to Buhari? How dare you all followed herds mentality? This is why the South-west is fast developing - providing steady electricity supply and pipe-borne water to its people which you men of South-east do not have. Political savviness of South-west has given them not just jobs but quality jobs. Now, they speak in one voice, no in-fighting of any kind.

In 2015, we must look at the South-west and do things in a manner that will seeÔÇŽ.

As Prof. Okey Ndibe spoke, motor-cyclists competing with those buses that have front-side shaped like fish mouth cancelled out his voice. Someone who has been listening asked;

"Who is this man; does he know what it means to wake up at wee hours, go with lantern to pick snails from the farm, go to school and after school go to the shop to help Papa with trading? Does he know that even spirits whose heels never touch the ground trade with us in same market? Does this man understand the meaning that some men are going to the market when some had already returned from same market?"

But the questioner did not get an answer because people were quite busy with their practical daily living having seen it all even before Prof. Okey was born.

I voted money for Prof. Okey Ndibe's return in consideration that he must get people to listen or get listeners to educate him.

SALISU SULEIMAN:

But for his copying god-like Christopher Okigbo {see "The Seasonal Writers Have Come Again" by Salisu Suleiman, pub: NVS} and refusing to acknowledge this robbery, he would have been a fine man. But for his writing or according blames to "lack" on violent attitudes of his own people, he may have been more than ordinary. Here is a writer who finds excuse in "contextualizing" evil. Because of all the above, Suleiman has decided to redeem his guilt by educating his people - not on NVS but under the mango tree, in market places, at the deserts, in mosques, and at okada {motorcycle} joints. He has understudied how Barkin Zuwo carried out his campaign to win elective position. Suleiman proud of "carrying the burden of the North" will tie radio on bicycles and go about educating his immediate environment in Arabic and the language of Fulfulde. He has accepted to start right under his nose, rather than clapping down whole Nigeria elites.

Suleiman refused to accept any money from me. However, he approved donors from China to provide bicycles and NGO's in Japan to hand in radio sets.

Monologue:

My bag has been withdrawn from the locker in the train station. It's now resting in my house. I have demarcated all monies made for distribution to Nafata Bamaguje, Prof. Pius, and Prof. Okey Ndibe. I have taken stock of bicycles and radio sets for Suleiman. It is now time to take a walk. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow! If tomorrow comes, if 29th of May comes, I'll be very busy sending out the monies and the stock of items.

As it drizzled, I walked on, my shoulder stooped, ruminating, brooding like a hen whose infants are gathered under its wing. I walked for a distance and felt I've gone too far. I decided to go back. On approaching my house, I saw trucks with sirens just by my apartment. The red lights on the roofs of the trucks reminded me of train toys in a department store. I got closer and noticed that this pandemonium was directed at my house. My apartment had caught fire. There was no point asking if the Priest beard was burnt in an inferno.

I removed the sandals on my feet and with my two hands placed them on my head. In this posture, I walked back same direction I had taken, rain no longer drizzling but pouring.

{Concluded}

Patrick Nwadike wrote in from Tokyo.