No Kidding! You Aren’t Going To Heaven

By Taju Tijani

Sunday Homiletic Series

Brent Cross is home to Jesus House. Pastor Agu Irukwu is the towering giant who shepherds his flock and drops probing, soul-challenging, zealously truthful, biting scriptural anecdotes and scathing attacks on modern day religion apologists calling themselves born gain. If there is anything that Agu finds to be mortifyingly banal, it is the new wave of Christians who could not differentiate between religion and Christianity. What irritates this 6” 5ins orator-preacher is the comradely affection with which the Bible is preached among deluded church audience on Sundays. 

Agu is always in a pastoral rage. In a clear-headed, articulate and aggressively outspoken manner, he dropped Pentecostal clanger on his flock Sunday after Sunday. His instincts are never opposed to Episcopal controversy.  With Agu, you know where you stand spiritually. He holds the mirror to the souls of his flock and barricades those touchy-feely christianese that will tickle the ears. He is a hard talker and with a mind as clever as Socrates’. He does not preach relatable dogma. Agu believes that the Bible is not relative. It is plainly black and white and was founded on absolute truth.  Incontrovertibly, the Bible speaks clearly and loudly on what is right and wrong and what is plain sinful. But modern Pentecostal churches and their revisionist pastors are on the war path. Dogmatic preachers are being branded as heretical, intolerant, narrow-minded and out of touch with modern worshippers.  

Agu differs. He believes that spiritual and Biblical truth is tested by only one criterion: does it match with what the Bible says or not? What then happened last Sunday? I guess you are one of those pious, positive and expectant born againer who yearns to make heaven in your generation? The bad news is that surprises await us in heaven! Religion has lulled majority of us into a false sense of security and heaven certainty. Agu believes that before we could all make heaven; there must be a spiritualised reality check------a kind of wholeness, or if you like, MOT test on our born again pretences. The sub text of his sermon is clear: If you live in a cave with the burden of monastic vows to live to the uttermost for Jesus and Jesus alone, you may see our Lord. If not, no kidding, you aren’t going to heaven. Now take a closer look at your own life.

Test 1-Pride. What is pride? It is the spirit that makes one to overestimate oneself and underestimate others. Are you a proud person? Do you walk around with a haughty air of a medieval conquistador? If so you are out of touch with God’s requirement for heaven. If God were to be here today and you were found out to be proud, forget heaven. You will be excluded for a very obvious reason: God will not go against his own words. God makes clear his intense dislike for pride in 1 Peter 5v5.

It says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. And there is an apocalyptic warning in Proverbs 15v25 where it is written that God will destroy the house of the proud. And more shockingly, there is nowhere to find pride more than on the pulpit. Pastoral pride is as much as Lucifer’s. So if there is open heaven today many pastors are not going to heaven. No proud person will hitch the last ride to our heavenly home. God can only trust the humble. Do you overestimate yourself above others?

Test 2-Lying Tongue. The power of sin has been so watered down in most churches for fear of attendance figure. The second sin God hates is a lying tongue. In the body of Christ there are many preachers who knowingly peddle untruth by their word and deed. Some Christians live a life of lie. How then would God bless a Christian whose foundation is lie? Religion as oppose to Christianity is a fascinating thing. In Revelation 21v8 God says that liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone which is the second death. There is no small, medium or big lie. There is no white, blue, yellow or black lie. Believe it, a liar is worse than a sorcerer before God. We miss the uttermost reaches of our blessings when we lie. There is something about lie that heaven detests but which Satan watered down like an adulterated palm wine. Are you a bloody liar?  

Test 3-Anger. Ecclesiastes 7v9 makes clear that anger resides in the bosom of the fool. This weakness is a loathsome sin before God but religion has made righteous anger acceptable and chic. But there is a brutal reminder of just how God can react to the sin of anger. Take Moses. This is a bloke who shared banter with God. I can say that they were on first names terms. When Moses was wheezed away through the clouds for 40 days and 40 nights he sat with God. He saw God at work. They jived as friends and talked about virtually everything under the sun. That is a relationship-driven God at his holy best. But then when Moses got funky by trying to take God for a ride he had a grand shock. How? When Moses showed a vile form of angry outburst against the Almighty in Exodus 17v4, he was denied the ecstatic joy of a colonising pioneer of the Promised Land. Period! Despite their intense relationship. Ephesians 4v26 is strident enough in its warning not to sin in anger. Do you throw tantrums?

Test 4-Sexual Immorality. Satan, that ugly deceiver has created a soft, uncomplicated world of sexual permissiveness. God’s standard on sexual uprightness is high, but religion has watered it down and so permits us to sin recklessly. Fornication, adultery, masturbation and lustful thoughts are sexual immorality. Mere kissing is a sin. Those trashy page 3 dolls with balloon breasts, those late night erotic movies, those naughty texts and emails and those illicit, nocturnal one-night-stands are high crime before God Almighty. Heaven cannot contain a pervert who shares a libidinous DNA with a rabbit. It is written in Ephesians 5 v3 that there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality among us because it is improper. It goes further with a caveat that no immoral man will have any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God. In other words, simply forget heaven when you fail test 4.

Test 5-Gossip. Do you gossip in your idle moment? This weakness may stall your journey heavenward. Remember that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Be scared. Being born again is a holy badge we all love to wear. No wonder we pepper every sentence with christianese. For instance, “God is in control”, “My God is more than able”, “Amen O”, “It is well” and many other born again mantras adorn our anointed mouth. I have met Christians who are ferocious gossips. Damaging, scandal-driven gossips!!! But Jesus was quite unequivocal in Matthew 12 v36. On gossip, Jesus says that we all have to give a full account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word ever spoken. Mere saying Raka according to Jesus in Matthew, you are done. Do you gossip?

Test 6-Covetuosness. God detests covetousness or greed passionately. Even in the Old Testament, the Bible is explicit in its abhorrence of greed. The last tenth commandment in Exodus 20v17 drips with a warning that we should not covet our neighbour’s house, wife, girlfriend, goods, cars, clothes or anything that belongs to our neighbour. Each time God detects greed, He judges it instantly. Are you greedy?

Test 7-Unkind Words. I am sure that you realise that the foundation of every Christian relationship is love. And according to Matt 12v34-38, the moment we go against that foundation we put ourselves up for judgment. In my Christian walk, I have seen people who pray, prophesy and heal but are just wicked. They can never show kindness to anybody. They are wicked to the core. But in their convenient cloak of religious regalia, they are your typical Pharisees and Sadducees. Are the words that issue out of your mouth towards the poor, the underprivileged and the uneducated insulting or soothing? If Bible is read in its true context, we are going to realise that unkind words are not of God’s.

Test 8-Unforgiveness. It is written in Mark 11v25 that if we hold anything against anyone that we should forgive him so that our Father in heaven may forgive us of our sins. But no, small time envy will not allow us to forgive a younger brother who is more successful than us. Again, if Jesus were to be here today and unforgiveness is found in you, you had better forget heaven. Why? This is heavy scripture. Jesus is saying that we should forgive in order to make the last lap home to heaven.

What is the bottom line in all these chilly tests? Relatable and easy dogma has to shift aside for serious Christianity. God is only moved by our intense relationship and how ready we are to obey his commands and walk in his way. You may be a prayer warrior, a tithe giver or a church worker; they are not enough to get you to heaven if any of the most common sins above is in you. For the time being suspend your monthly vigil, prayer of breakthrough, extended fasting, praise worship and meditate on these baits of Satan that could turn the journey so far from heaven to hell. Redirect your Tom Tom towards holiness and simple righteousness. Religion is cheap but Christianity is hard work and demands monastic dedication. The year is still young. You could start now!!! If I were you, I will start with Test 4. Why? Is that not modern man’s demon?  

Comments Page: 1 posted on 02-15-2009, 11:49:56 AM Law Mefor Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven Pastor Agu represents the new church order that will sometimes make you think God is crazy to inspire such ones. But most of them are not even from God, am afraid. I shudder when they call themselves names I understand are reserved demons. For example, Chris Okotie, after divorcing his legitimate wife, married another divorcee from his congregation. No one can fathom how long Chris was seeing this woman before his divorce and her role in forcing the real wife out. And now Chris calls TB Joshua one certain name from the pit of hell. When their quarrel first blew open Chris wondered what the other Chris was doing with demonic Joshua. They know more than they tell us but I also know this bunch can�t lead anybody to heaven if their power, as they confess themselves, are not of God! Whatever it is, I know Christianity has been deeply infested and its soul may not be spared in the long run. In fact, I am beginning to see why the Bible says: �Unless the days are shortened, no one shall be saved including the elect�� There is basic truth in what he is preaching but you can be wrong the right way all down the line. posted on 02-15-2009, 13:02:58 PM Ph3y Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven QUOTE: For example, Chris Okotie, after divorcing his legitimate wife, married another divorcee from his congregation. No one can fathom how long Chris was seeing this woman before his divorce and her role in forcing the real wife out. The lady in question [His first wife] left him........She did it publicly and said she did not share his vision for ministry....and i think it was better for him to marry someone else rather than being linked with any and every woman he was seen with.... posted on 02-16-2009, 07:44:05 AM Allaccess Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven I think Nigerians and Africans might start making progress once they are free of these spiritual slavery called religion, God, ALLAH... posted on 02-17-2009, 02:16:08 AM Agidimolaja Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven Taju, I have great concern when I read about the weekly barkings of our man of God,Agu, who ceaselessly threatens his uninformed {conquered memebers} of not going to heaven. What school of thought informed Agu that his chances of getting into heaven is far better than those he is barking at? I consider it as false doctrine when a preacher is saying it out to members that,"you aren't going to heaven". I'm not aware of what text or passage is he quoting from. How did he know that someone is not going to heaven? When did God ordain him to make such pronouncement? He was only "called" to preach the gospel. Preaching the gospel however,does not include such abominable statement as "you aren't going to heaven". In Agu's open dispay of lack of Biblical knowledge,he listed for who cares, what the Bible called "works" as the criteria for getting into heaven. The Bible however teaches that no one shall make it into heaven based on "works". The Bible settled the matter,saying, "by grace through faith" will people get into heaven{be saved} not by works as Agu falsely preached to his members. Eph 2:8-9 I'm of the opinion that Agu presented himself to ardent students of the Bible as an unlikely candidate of heaven if he rested his chances of getting to heaven on aspects of works but not by grace through faith. Preachers should be busy with the work of preaching the gospel and not sitting in judgement or threatening members as to who and who aren't going to heaven. Is Agu himself 100% sure of getting to heaven? Only God knows those who are His. 2Tim 2:19 Even, St. Paul in all his greatness confessed that while he found no fault in himself,yet he cannot justify himself and that it is only Jesus that would justify him. Why then should someone who is at such far distance behind St. Paul is arrogantly making unscriptural rulings - "you aren't going to heaven"? posted on 02-17-2009, 12:29:57 PM Jthelmsdeep Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven I find it quite amazing that the topic of 'religion' never ceases to spark a firestorm of responses one way or another. Even more amazing though, is the casual way in which we seem to judge things that we have little knowledge of. Someone carelessly drops the notion that Chris Okotie's current wife may have had a part to play in his divorce, and others dutifully pick up on that notion and run with it as if it's undisputable fact. I guess when you live in a fishbowl you are fair game for all and sundry to make whatever judments they will. posted on 02-17-2009, 13:38:35 PM Exponent Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven There is NO such thing as HEAVEN. Heaven or Hell is where you are right at this moment. When you die..........YOU ARE JUST DEAD. Word. posted on 06-27-2010, 14:35:07 PM Witness Re: No Kidding! You Aren Exponent: There is NO such thing as HEAVEN. Heaven or Hell is where you are right at this moment. When you die..........YOU ARE JUST DEAD. Word. A fool says in his heart there is no God... what you say Exponent, makes no difference. Your opinion isn't enough to change the reality of heaven and hell. Don't wait to find out if you were wrong after you're dead. After all , what do you stand to lose if you make your eternity sure now by receiving Jesus as Lord and Saviour? posted on 06-28-2010, 07:55:13 AM No Smoking Re: No Kidding! You Aren`t Going To Heaven QUOTE: Pastor Agu Irukwu is the towering giant who shepherds his flock and drops probing, soul-challenging, zealously truthful, biting scriptural anecdotes and scathing attacks on modern day religion apologists calling themselves born gain. If there is anything that Agu finds to be mortifyingly banal, it is the new wave of Christians who could not differentiate between religion and Christianity. What irritates this 6� 5ins orator-preacher is the comradely affection with which the Bible is preached among deluded church audience on Sundays. Agu is always in a pastoral rage. In a clear-headed, articulate and aggressively outspoken manner, he dropped Pentecostal clanger on his flock Sunday after Sunday. His instincts are never opposed to Episcopal controversy. Is Agu a pastor or a prophet in the mode of Elijah and Isaiah? The highlighted texts are not becoming of a pastor... Agu Irukwu may be a towering giant, but this is not shepherding his flock. posted on 10-13-2010, 07:45:04 AM Oj Re: No Kidding! You Aren please do not take those highlighted texts as facts. They are largely exaggerated. I am a member of the church and have been since I was a child. "Pastoral Rage"... REALLY?? Come on! Go to the Full Discussion Thread Comments Page: 1