Times are hard. And this has become a reason for some people to do inexcusable things. Sometimes, it seems anything goes as long as it can bring in enough for people to survive the hard times. The result is that a lot of moral values have been eroded and things that used to cause a stir in the olden days are no longer considered repugnant. Who cares as long as you do not step directly on anybody’s toes? It is so bad that some parents who are supposed to rebuke a child for doing what is wrong now tacitly encourage their children to do it as long as it brings money.

I had heard and read of such cases in the media until, well, recently. I had stopped over in Benin on my way from the east. The journey was enough stress without any baggage, but my brother and his wife insisted I must take some foodstuff to my wife. If I was driving my car, that would be fine. But I was going by public transport, so how was I to carry all the things they said they were going to buy? I protested but my brother and his wife assured me all they wanted me to do was go with them to the market – in their own car, wait for them to buy all the things they wanted to buy, and then they would drop me off at the motor park where I would board a vehicle to Lagos. And when I got to Lagos, I was expected to simply get a taxi to move the stuff to my house, and that would be it. So, off we went to the market at Ramat Park in Ikpoba Hill.

On our way to Ugbowo, my brother turned into a street at the New Benin market to pick up some fruits. He parked in front of a fruits shop, leaving his wife and I in the car. Seated behind the table where the fruits were displayed was an elderly woman and a beautifully-dressed young lady who could not have been more than 20 years. As my brother stood before them, picking some fruits, the woman went hysterical. One of the things she told the young lady in their native language (which, of course, my brother and his wife understand) was: “How many times have I told you to stand up when you see a man?”

Excuse me? Stand up when you see a man? What for? The mother and her daughter had already greeted my brother, who was alone with them, so what was the fuse about standing up? Whatever the woman wanted her daughter to do was definitely beyond the traditional show of respect or courtesy. So, what was it?

My brother, who seemed to understand and enjoy the whole drama, burst into laughter.

“Madam,” he said in English, “I am not a small boy o. I am an old man.” Of course, that was not a joke. His first child, who is in her twenties, is married and has a child. That makes him a grandfather.

Turning to the young lady, my brother said:

“E be like say your mama wan sell you with these fruits.”

“I no go let am!” the young lady responded nonchalantly.

Now I quite expected the elderly woman to react negatively to what my brother said, or at least defend herself, if that was not what she meant. But she did not! She sat there, as if nothing was happening.

Then I began to wonder what kind of mother would put up her child for that kind of game. It is true that most Nigerians can make do with a little more money, but is that enough reason for a woman to make her daughter ‘stand up’ to greet ‘every man’ that comes to her shop to buy fruits?

And every time I talk about parents pushing their children to do things that are despicable, my wife often reminds me of a schoolmate of hers. The family obviously numbered among the poorest of the earth, so the girl was encouraged by her mother when she was in her teenage years to go after the rich. Nobody cared what she did to get what she needed from men; it was enough she brought money home at the end of the day. And her mother enjoyed the money as well as the euphoria of her daughter being brought back home by men in different cars. However, the young lady’s troubles started when my wife took her to a church and she became born again. Of course, she had to bid farewell to the wayward life she had lived all her teenage years. But her mother did not find it funny! Until my wife left that neighbourhood, that woman’s hatred for her knew no bounds.

I know poverty is a terrible thing. I am not from a rich home, so I know what it means to be poor. But is poverty enough reason for a woman to circuitously put up her daughter for sale? If anything, I cherish today the values my parents instilled in us much more than anything else. And I believe that is one of the primary responsibilities of every parent, poverty or no poverty.     

Robot  Villager

# 1 I know pove...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 14.12.2007 08:06