It has been three weeks since my wife gave birth to our baby. Every single day of these three weeks, I have had cause to wonder why or how the ‘Bad People’ label seems to have stuck on us. Almost everybody in my neighbourhood has shown us some love one way or the other. And to be honest, I do not know half the people who have come to my house to felicitate with us these past weeks.

Just this morning, my wife told me of the plantain seller who gave her a bunch of the plantain she was selling just because she learnt she had given birth. And my wife confessed that she had never really bought anything from this woman. The only relationship they share is that she runs into her sometimes on her way out.

Well, if you are wondering if I live in a rural area, I am sorry to say I do not. I live in the heart of Lagos. Maybe I live in some part of Lagos where communal life is still pronounced? Well, again, I am sorry to say that I do not really know more than two or three people on my street. I mean, I do not know anybody to the extent of going to visit him or her. I learnt one of my neighbours is the owner of ABC Transport, but I have never seen the man face to face, and I have never had any cause to go and see him. And I have lived in this neighbourhood for close to eight years. Yet, when my wife gave birth, everybody came to rejoice with us. And many brought something, irrespective of the value.

One elderly man who lives across the street with his family even told me I could ask his wife to do anything I needed an elderly woman to do for us. His wife sells bread, among other things, and I cannot count the number of times the woman has sent loaves of bread to our home in the morning. And when my wife told her we needed 25 litres of groundnut oil for my baby’s naming ceremony, she sent it promptly without asking for money. It took us several days to remember that we had not paid for it. But she was there all the time, and is still there, to help out with whatever needs to be done. Sometimes, she sends her children to run errands for us.   

Naturally, I am an introvert. Most of the time, I do not go out of my way to make friends. So, I know people have not given us all the support they have given us because I am a very friendly person. If anything, I believe it is the communal spirit in us. I saw a bit of it when I was in the university – you could walk into anybody’s room and ask for garri or toothpaste, and anybody could walk into your room to ask for anything, irrespective of tribe or religion.

Now, if you think this is happening only in our neighbourhood, consider this one: When my wife was pregnant with this particular child, her greatest challenge was passing out at the slightest trigger. If she ate hot food, she would pass out. If she ate cold food, she would pass out. If she stood for five minutes under the sun, she would pass out. We sought medical help but were told it would stop only after she had given birth. My constant prayer then was that she would not pass out in the public where there was no help. But as much as we guarded against it, it happened at a bus stop when she was with our three-year-old daughter and far away from home.

Surprisingly, the man who came to her rescue was a taxi driver. She had put a call through to my friend, after standing at the bus stop for sometime and did not know how she was feeling. But before my friend could get to her, an elderly man who had been watching her from the nearby taxi park walked up to her and asked her to come and sit in his car. When he realised the taxi seats were not convenient for her, he went to look for a better seat to put near the car so that she could take as much air as possible. Of course, she did not know when my friend came and took her to the hospital. But the elderly man had bought the water and everything that was needed to revive her, and had taken care of my daughter until my friend came.

I had to go and look for the taxi driver the following day to show my appreciation. And to think he did not think he did anything special! He only insisted I must let him know whenever my wife gives birth so that he would come and greet the baby. Sadly, he was away in his village to bury his mother about the time my wife gave birth. But he has not given up on coming to see the baby any time he is back.

I know I have been a distrustful person most of my life because of our peculiar circumstances. But I have realised that our people are not as bad as we think; we are a caring people. There are some bad Nigerians, all right, but they definitely do not outnumber the good ones who are ever so willing to show love and care. I believe life will be easier and better if only we will learn to concentrate more on our good points and be less suspicious of one another. I could never have imagined that people I do not really know – of course, they are all Nigerians – could be this nice to my family and I.

As for me, I am grateful to every member of the Nigerian Village Square, my friends and everyone in my neighbourhood who have shared in our joy these past weeks. May the good Lord bless you all.               

Robot  Villager

# 1 It has been three weeks since my wife gave birth ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 14.02.2008 20:59

purple  Villager

# 2 Mr Ojenagbon, Congratulations on your new baby. Thank you for sharing your family's positive experiences of love and support by ordinary Nigerians. The outside world don't get to hear of this type of good stuff. Majority of Nigerians are warm and loving folks who just want to raise their family in peace and live in safe communities. Random acts of kindness abound daily in Nigeria and is practised by our people all over the world. In my neck of the woods a young Kenyan woman recently had a baby and an older Nigerian lady went in daily to bathe the baby. Yours truly pitched in with several hot meals. This is not someone well known to me, but hey, she's a new mom and needed support. Indeed Nigerians are a caring people. Yes we are (respects Obama) :smile:. Posted by purple| 14.02.2008 21:49

admin_old  Villager

# 3 Congrats, Sylvester! Posted by admin_old| 14.02.2008 22:07

EezeeBee  Villager

# 4 Thanks, Sylvester, for telling a larger audience what many people instinctively know: The average Nigerian is extremely caring and generous, regardless of his or her social or economic background. These qualities seem to elude us as we try to adopt more 'modern' ways of doing a lot of things. Congratulations and much blessings to you, your wife and child(ren). Posted by EezeeBee| 15.02.2008 02:07

Oru-Ama  Villager

# 5 Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Thank you for highlighting that positive aspect of Nigerians as a people. May God provide you and your wife, all that you need to bring up this child. May this new addition to your family bring open doors and may more favours flow in from every angle. Yes; Nigerians are caring people. Caring for people flows out of our inner being. That's one thing we have that these Europeans do not have. Back home, people look out for one another... ready to help at any time, ready to fight for the helpless. Unlike here that next door neighbours will watch through their windows while another neighbour is being attacked and sometimes killed. It is more convenient for them to rush out and buy flowers to lay at the spot where their neighbour is killed than coming out to save that person or even volunteer to give information to the police. To me, home will always be home. I am a Nigerian and very proud of it. Posted by Oru-Ama| 15.02.2008 05:45

bobuzoechi  Villager

# 6 Thanks for sharing your positive experince with Nigerians here in this Village. God bless u and your family a million times. Posted by bobuzoechi| 15.02.2008 05:49

mulan  Villager

# 7 When my wife was pregnant with this particular child, her greatest challenge was passing out at the slightest trigger. If she ate hot food, she would pass out. If she ate cold food, she would pass out. If she stood for five minutes under the sun, she would pass out. We sought medical help but were told it would stop only after she had given birth. My constant prayer then was that she would not pass out in the public where there was no help. But as much as we guarded against it, it happened at a bus stop when she was with our three-year-old daughter and far away from home. Surprisingly, the man who came to her rescue was a taxi driver. She had put a call through to my friend, after standing at the bus stop for sometime and did not know how she was feeling. But before my friend could get to her, an elderly man who had been watching her from the nearby taxi park walked up to her and asked her to come and sit in his car. When he realised the taxi seats were not convenient for her, he went to look for a better seat to put near the car so that she could take as much air as possible. Of course, she did not know when my friend came and took her to the hospital. But the elderly man had bought the water and everything that was needed to revive her, and had taken care of my daughter until my friend came. SILOJE, Thanks for this wonderful article, this part nearly brought tears to my eyes cos almost an exact thing had happened to someone close to me. One of the so called bus touts took care of the person till someone arrived to take them to the hospital. Who knows what could have happened otherwise? I went to visit a new mom a few days ago and she had the exact same story to tell. So I am happy that even outside our home shores, most of us have not lost this caring trait. I tell those who strive so hard to be 'europeanised' and 'mordern', may I never acculturate to the extent I frown when people knock on my door to borrow sugar or salt. May I never complain when someone arrrives at my place unexpected (friend, family or stranger) and needs help or a place to stay. As I water, so shall I be watered. In that I am Nigerian, and I am proud of it... Posted by mulan| 15.02.2008 06:18

nero africanus  Villager

# 8 =mulan;4294988986> I tell those who strive so hard to be 'europeanised' and 'mordern', may I never acculturate to the extent I frown when people knock on my door to borrow sugar or salt. May I never complain when someone arrrives at my place unexpected (friend, family or stranger) and needs help or a place to stay. As I water, so shall I be watered. In that I am Nigerian, and I am proud of it... mulan , thank you may you live to complain about your great grand children and the noise they make when they visit granny Posted by nero africanus| 15.02.2008 06:22

denker  Villager

# 9 mulan, my dear, watever you wrote up there is not well thought out...it has absolute nothing to do with 'europeanised' and 'mordern' -is just simply human-factors...in germany we have all dis kind of gestures in abundant.. Posted by denker| 15.02.2008 06:34

Enforcer  Villager

# 10 I know I have been a distrustful person most of my life because of our peculiar circumstances. But I have realised that our people are not as bad as we think; we are a caring people. There are some bad Nigerians, all right, but they definitely do not outnumber the good ones who are ever so willing to show love and care. I believe life will be easier and better if only we will learn to concentrate more on our good points and be less suspicious of one another. I could never have imagined that people I do not really know – of course, they are all Nigerians – could be this nice to my family and I. Sylvester Ojenagbon Delightful read. I have heard people say that the peculiar circumstances of Nigeria make majority of Nigerians distrustful of each other. The jury is out on that! Posted by Enforcer| 15.02.2008 06:35

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