30 Oct 2008 |
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 VS 
They had approached him at Mama Ngozi’s Buka right as he was about to tackle the big Tilapia head that sat on his plate of Rice and Stew like a displaced Mount Kilimanjaro. Annoyed he had first almost refused to acknowledge them but after a fresh icey bottle of Star appeared in front of him as if by magic, he reluctantly wiped his hands on the towel, downed half of the beer-before anybody changed their mind-and listened with one ear. They came from Uzuakoli his wife’s village and their plan was perfect considering that he hated those snooty brats from Government College anyway, he technically would be killing 2 birds with one stone. In addition to that the Naira’s they paid were brand new and came in those brown UBA envelopes, so it was a virtually a sealed deal even before the whole spiel had been unfolded and by then of course both ears had been brought into play. Their pitch was perfect. For years now they -Methodist College - had failed to advance out of the local bracket of the then Eastern Regions Accademical Football Cup falling over and over to the power houses of their area from Aba and Owerri. This year though led by the fantastic and soon to be Vasco Da Gama Star defender Egbukitchi (aka “Mr. Stability”) they had clawed their way past their opponents to retain the number 1 seed in their bracket and the number 2 overall in the entire region. All that stood between them and to play in front of the Governor at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Stadium in Enugu in the States Semi Final was the other number 1 seed Government College Umuahia; and they would leave no stone unturned to make sure their dream was finally realized. Ironically fate seemed to be in their favor – well at least initially. First of all they petitioned and won a ruling from the East Central State Sport Commission to have the the game moved from the Umudike Campus and the home field of the GCU Red Eagles - who up till that point as the perennial Nr 1 seed of the region had always been allowed to play at home. Rather the game was moved to Umuahia Township, but not to the Governors Field but incomprehensibly unto the home field of another GCU’s rival Ibeku High, making it instantly a home game for Uzuakoli.
Then in addition to this, when by sheer coincidence they found out the he the Referee had roots in their village and loved to play the EPL Soccer pool every Sunday, they could hardly believe their luck and a fundraising drive had been put into motion with the precision of a Swiss watch. It had been successful beyond their wildest dreams and they quickly decided to go about their plan in a two pronged attack. Considering that many of the Uzuakolians had fought in the Biafran Army in the very corridor that saw arguably some of the heaviest fighting at Ugba junction, and that their school had actually been the HQ of Rolf Steiners famous Kommandos, nothing less should have been expected and they went about the operation with the confidence and preparation of professional soldiers. The 2nd part of the whole scheme was securing the services of the local insurance agent, or native doctor in this case a certain “Commander Janta Manta” named after the equally absurd Indian movie on magic. He always dressed in black, wore glasses with no lenses and when he walked the chains around his waist married into a merry tinkering with the barbed wire bracelets around both ankles swollen with Elephantiasis. He was a sight to behold and when he threw up his Igwe staff complete with cow bell on top, it landed with an authentic thud and jarring sound announcing his arrival just as if he was speaking through a bull horn. Even a merger of Holly and Nollywood could not have created more drama. Janta Manta had insured total and complete victory. All the Uzuakoli team needed to do was make sure not to cross any bridge while travelling to Ibeku and to get him within hearing distance of the game. Rearranging travel plans to avoid any river or stream had been easy and since the Ibeku student body had guaranteed their Chemistry lab complete with painted windows for extra privacy and right within spitting distance of the field itself to host the Jujuman, the stage had been set perfectly for the ambush. By the time the Commander had baptized 11 agama lizards in the name of all the GCU players and bound their legs with thread rendering them supposedly useless on the field the confidence was at such a Zenith on the Methodist College campus, that they even splurged on a set of bright new yellow jerseys and boots. Meanwhile back in Umuahia on match day the unsuspecting student body of GCU who liked to be called "Umuahians" en mass were woken up at 5.45 am by the clanging of the hyperactive School bell. To be continued
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