She made her move on the 5th day and it was done with such skill that both “Nollywood” and “Hollywood” should have instantly closed all entries for their best Supporting Actress Award for the year. Simply said she “Kpom Kwemed” the role as we Igbo’s would say! ! 

Her younger sister had suddenly been involved in a ghastly car accident and she needed to fly to Port Harcourt that same night, yet she could not get to her safe deposit box at UBA till Monday. “Would I mind loaning her some money and holding her jewelry and Rolex till she got back?” I almost laughed aloud and pointed out that I would never accept a Rolex whose second hand went “tick tock tick tock” instead of being in Swiss perpetual motion - but played along like a Draft player about to be crowned. Cunning the Fox could be …..but I put the S in Slick.

Of course my “Chocolate Star” I replied. And for you ITK’s wondering out there…. “Yes” I did borrow the term from Mtume’s song “Juicy” . Somehow I did not think they would mind if was scoring bonus points as a result of their diction - after all I had even bought their Greatest hits CD even though they only had 2 note worthy songs ever. So in my book they owed me.

Anyway “Please don’t insult me by offering me your jewelry.” I barked “What kind of man do you think I am?” I inquired - feigning shock. That Night she really put her back into it as I pounded her silly crossing the threshold of ultimate joy repeatedly; finally collapsing in a tired but happy heap of tingly nerves on the floor. My wallet was also $500 lighter.

But nothing shaking because as we all known "Na condition make cray fish bend".

She promptly repaid me that following Tuesday in crisp $10 notes and even handed me some specially made slippers out of Crocodile skin as well as a spare key to her flat. It seemed I had passed her initial test and just like the witch in Hansel and Gretel she was now fattening me up for the final kill.

That Friday Night her “God Father” threw a party and it was in Jos. Courtesy of the Nigerian Air force with which she seemed to have a very friendly relationship with, we were whisked away to some Mansion overlooking the absolutely gorgeous plateau and city below in some strange Russian helicopter that looked more like an inverted Octopus than a flying weapon.

On arrival the guest list looked more like we were at a Medal ceremony rather than at some impromptu Fandango. I spotted at least 3 Ministers, 1 ex President , 1 Governor, 4 of Nollywood’s top actresses, 2 Super Eagles and after I got to 7, I stopped counting Judges. The place reeked of oil money. Plush carpets almost swallowed my Bally’s while the muted lights sparkled of real crystal, like a galaxy of hyperactive rainbows. I instantly hated it.

While the band murdered Fela on stage I grabbed a Heineken and slowly meandered down to the front lawn were huge Ox and a gaggle of Guinea fowls were being roasted over a bed of coals. It was the epitome of opulence all within spitting distance of abject poverty.

I stepped into an artificial cove behind the wall of assorted well kempt shrubbery and lit up a joint cupping the lighter to contain any glare. Just as the warm sweet smoke travelled down my lungs and I started feeling the first tell tale warm soothing glow I caught a movement with my peripheral vision. I doused my cigar, retreated silently into an even darker spot and was now staring down at 3 people who didn’t know I was there. I recognized her ass even only by pale moonlight. It was Ngozi with 2 strange men. What I saw and heard next would virtually suck out all the air from my lungs THC molecules included. I mean even though I had half expected it, and knew that it would eventually come - the sheer complexity of their plan and the outright wickedness behind it was virtually inconceivable especially coming from a fellow African and human being.

It was time to launch "Operation Water Pass Garri".

Robot  # 1 | 14.12.2007 16:12

She made her move on the 5th day and it was done with such skill that both “Nollywood”...Read the full article.

Atomic Kitten  # 2 | 14.12.2007 18:24

Iwedi, Your literary style is totally captivating and I am almost spell bound. Give us all the details between day one to five. I am both anxious and anticipatory as I await part three. The problem though; its getting to be like a drug addict awaiting the next fix. Do not tarry. :biggrin::biggrin:

ojemba  # 3 | 14.12.2007 18:40

Suya Biko finish this story and stop leaving me in suspense with your part deux. I just hope the Aba in you was enough to save your horny arss from falling mugu to that b1tch.

emj  # 4 | 14.12.2007 20:43

Hmmm....dat i believe was a teaser....the main Plot shld come soonest...i meant to say arrive soonest.:cool: PS....dis must be Iwedi's Dairy in the making...juess like SS(Soul Sizzling's Dairy that was rested):eek::p BTW...thanks for the C-Caution/Mature Content(warning).