I have been writing and criticising different Nigerian governments for donkey years, but nobody has ever detained or questioned me or seized my passport. Why now, what have I done wrong?

Now, I am begging you in the name of God to seize my passport, detain me for few hours, release me and then ask me to report to your departmental head whenever I arrive at any Nigerian airport.

If you failed to do this, then I may accuse you of being partial or being selective; even nepotism. For, if you seized one writer's passports, detained and questioned him for some hours because of his criticism, then the same should apply to others.

Hence I'm on my knee begging you guys not to delete the list of Nigerian critics in the Diaspora which you said Yardua's government had compiled before his demise. No, don't delete it until all of us are questioned one by one. Because we are the ones looting the treasury and instigating violence ÔÇô in Jos, Ibadan, Kano, Ogun, Gombe and other Nigerian states and cities. Damn it.

Besides, a writer/journalist needs to be questioned, detained and, or possibly jailed in order to be consequential; in order to be successful; in order to be. It is the mentality in which we have been blessed with by the Khaki boys.

Majority of us are still suffering from this mental torture. This may be the reason why the so-called intellectuals, pseudo-intellectuals, fake intellectuals must think that any interrogation by the SSS is always the handiwork of the presidency. We have been there before. Haven't we?

Therefore it must be Mr. Jonathan Goodluck (I am not comfortable calling him president just like his successor or is it predecessor) who eventually ordered the "seizure and release" of Prof. Okey Ndibe who was quoted as saying that the State Security Service has no right to seize his American passport.

Why not o jare? Is it because American citizens are different? Or perhaps America may declare war on Nigeria if its citizen's passport is seized by a country which has no liver or voice of its own? Or do you think this administration has liver or heart of its own. I see you still don't get it.

In 1996, American immigration officers seized my Nigerian passport for several hours with intimidating interrogation (and what I will always call stupid questions). Even though they let me go, I suffered such embarrassment in the land regarded as em, haven because according to the officers, my country was in their "bad" book.

Heaven did not fall then. Or did it? Oh I see, whatever America does must be the in thing. Perhaps another sign of our kolomentality!

Lack of focus? Lack of direction? It is all what my country has taught me ever since I was born.

So I was trying to provoke Jonathan Goodluck (sorry SSS) to seize my passport, interrogate and detain me whenever I set my foot on my country's soil. This is one favour I would like to curry from GEJ (I mean SSS). Please seize my passport too.

On a serious note, now that Mr. Okey Ndibe's passports have been released, I do hope that all those organisations and individuals who have been in solidarity with him did so in good faith and not just for publicity; and I hope they will do the same for every Nigerian ÔÇô famous or not. Hum, they have injected cynicism in our system.

Before I forget, those hypocrites must swear if for some minutes, they did not wish to be in Okey Ndibe's shoes. Let them swear joo.

All in all, Jonathan Goodluck must seize my passport, interrogate and detain me whenever I go to Nigeria. Failure to do so would only amount to discrimination. And for all those aspiring writers/journalists, may Jonathan Goodluck or SSS seize your passport (s), interrogate and detain you for some hours in this year of our Lord. It is a sure banker to winning a Noble Prize; or to be in the same category as WS or CA.