|
Random Musing IV, Part D
Sunday, October 8, 2006
Okay, I know, I know. This is the final part in this Random Musing IV. Me sef, the numbering and lettering don confuse me. Ah, no even know what classification I am following now. So whatever flows in this one flows abeg.
First things first. I know you all come here to be amused. Nothing like someone else spreading her own gist to amuse us, right? Yes, you think I don't know? Yeye! But, permit me to get serious for one moment. This month is cancer awareness month o. Please bookmark this site and keep yourself informed. http://www.cancer.gov/ I don't take cancer lightly. You know MKK had prostate cancer a couple of years ago? I have told you before now? Abi? He did. Thank God that it was detected early so he is still with us. Honestly, we were so scared that MKK would maud. I tell you, when they tell you someone close to you has cancer like this, your first instinct is to imagine that the person is dead. It is the most unpleasant thought you can ever have. I don't even want to let you know all the stress that we went through with the diagnosis, the treatment, everything. But, the fact that just today, I spoke to him and he is still breathing, living, and even threatening to teach his twin grand-sons football (i.e., soccer for all of una wey don chop mickeydees belefool) is enough for you to know that there is life after cancer. It is no longer a death sentence. But, the first thing you need to do is please, please do your check ups. Cancer is taking people at younger and younger ages.
Because of our (Boo and I) fertility issues, I have been doing quite a bit of reading about food and the way food is produced in the United States for a couple of months since my operation. Let me just say, yes, totally unscientific, that I believe that there is a correlation between the type of food we eat and some of the illnesses and conditions of unwellness like cancer and fibroids that we are seeing in younger and younger people. Have you noticed how seven year old girls are getting big breasts, ten year old boys are growing chest hair, and, of course, obesity? To digress a bit, you know fibroids are accompanied by increases in the female hormone, estrogen? Well, many pesticides that are sprayed on foods in the
US
(and some other Western countries) contain artificial estrogens that are believed to raise estrogens levels in women when we consume them.
Now, I have Boo and I on organic fruits and other produce that are not sprayed with pesticides, but it is difficult to maintain that unless you always eat at home and it is expensive too for most people. Both of us are resistant to tofu and miso but we cutting down on the red meat and replacing it with fish. Then I am gradually introducing organic soy milk. I am not saying all this to alarm you. No, I mean, I still love our Naija food any day any time. But, I just think we should be aware of these things and take good care of our bodies because the lives we live, at least, in the U.S. is not a healthy one. You have to go out of your way to be healthy just by reason of the way the food is produced and the stuff in the air, even in house hold products like plastics. I always notice a big difference in my metabolism between when I am here and when I am in
Nigeria
.
So back to cancer, the thing is you need to get yourself checked regularly for early detection to benefit you. For the guys, go to your doctors and urologists and get the twins and their big brother checked out, please. Another type of cancer that I hear is spreading is cancer of the testes or is it the scrotum? If you don't know what to do, ask the village doctor. But, for goodness sake, if you have insurance, don't just pay your premium. Use it, get checked up! For the ladies, get your yearly pap smear. Don't just do the pap smear, make sure that they do an HPV check as well. HPV is the Human Papiloma Virus. It is a cancer causing virus that is responsible for an increasing number of cervical cancers. If you read Essence or any of the women's magazines, I am sure you have come across information about HPV. Here is the page from the cancer site dealing with HPV for further information.
If you are sexually active with more than one partner, you are particularly at risk of being infected with the HPV. Sista, do you really need to have more than one partner? I am not preaching, just telling you the way it is so you can consider your options. Also, please get your boobies checked. If you are over thirty-five, you should get regular mammograms. I know it is unpleasant the way they squeeze and compress your boobies during the mammogram, especially if you have big ones. But what is that unpleasantness compared to late detection of cancer? Learn how to do you self examination in the shower or lying down. If you have a better half, he can help you. That is something to look forward to for both of you. However you roll, just keep on top of this stuff please.
Not necessarily cancer-related, here are some sites that I visit. It is the WWW so take everything with a pinch of salt:
Fibroids
Women to Women
Find Articles
Alright, I am not a doctor so I will stop there before I start misinforming you with my Tatafo.
Where were we on other things? So, my trip to Naija, what other highlights do I even have for you? Nothing much, really. You know, just the usual. I met up with many of my friends, Boo's friends that kind of thing. You know how it is when you go home for a brief period. Everything just happens in a daze and before you know it, it is time to go back to Uncle Sam and his shenanigans. A lot of our time was spent preparing for Sasu and Kefe's wedding. I had a little bridal shower for Sasu. Just with very, very close old friends, about twelve of us. I had it in my parents' place. Boo was not very pleased with that. But, luckily it was while he went to
Port Harcourt
for Kefe's extended bachelor's eve activities. Certainly, it was more than one eve, jare! He thought I should have had it in his parents' place. I was just like, Boo, sometimes you are so damn traditional. Yes, yes, yada, yada, I am a wife in your family now. So, I, apparently, have no say in my father's house? Come on? I will be freer in my parents place. That is a no brainer. Boo, I was prepared for him to be a bit one kind about it. My parents were another story. My mother was like okay, so long as it is okay with Boo. My father was like, what is wrong with my parents-in-laws' house? Why do I want to have a party in his house? I was like, daddy, it is for Sasu. You remember, Sasu. My friend, you remember dropping us off at Brownie meetings? You remember, Sasu? And, he was like, of course, I know Sasu and her parents, don't be stupid! But why do you want to have a party in my house? Anyway, I had to beg and beg. And finally, he relented. He was in
Ibadan
that Saturday anyway so there is not really much he could do.
Ibadan is really causing some stress between my parents. You would think that at almost fifty years of married life, my parents would have no issues. I guess marriage is always a work in progress. As I have told you before, see link, my father is from Fiditi, but he grew up in a village settlement near
Ibadan
called Omi Adio.
Well, ever since his cancer scare, he is been talking of going back to live in
Ibadan
. My parents have a decent house in Omi Adio itself, but my father would never live there long term. He says it will not be restful enough because of too many visitors from amongst his family and friends in Omi. They also have a very comfortable house in Iyaganku in
Ibadan
. It is a very roomy bungalow with lots of grounds. Excuse me for saying so myself, but it is a nice house. This is where my father thinks he and my mother should gradually begin to move to. My mother, typical
Lagos
woman, is having none of that, even at seventy-one going on seventy-two. First, she contends that my father tricked her about the real purpose of the house in Iyaganku. Apparently, when he suggested that they build the house in the mid-eighties, he told her that he just wanted a place in
Ibadan
that was comfortable for us to stay anytime we were in
Ibadan
. And, since he had a number of court cases and clients in
Ibadan
and
Ife
, it was a convenient place for him to stay in rather than going to Omi to sleep. He also wanted a place to entertain in
Ibadan
and somewhere not as far out for his friends as the house in Omi. So, she said, it was never her intention when she went about furnishing the place and developing the really beautiful garden that she has there that they would live in it permanently. The way she always sounds when she talks about the garden and the furnishing, you can tell that had she known of his plan, she would not have put in the effort. Second, she says that she is a Lagosian at heart, all her friends and life are in
Lagos
so she is not willing to pack it all up and go to
Ibadan
, especially in the twilight of her life. She says my father has always known that. He is the person that has strong ties to
Ibadan
and that his own life is in
Lagos
too so she does not understand this sudden nostalgic feeling for
Ibadan
.
Have you ever had to mediate between your parents? I know my mother feels pretty badly about this. When I spoke to her about it while I was in
Lagos
, she had tears trickling down the sides of her eyes. How do you mediate between your parents? I did not even know that they had this issue until a couple of months ago when Akin told us. I tried to speak to my father about it while I was in
Lagos
, and his response was: "Your mother and I will move to
Ibadan
once she is ready." I mean, how do you converse with someone who responds to you in that manner? I can see both their points of view. My mother is a very sociable person without being a social butterfly. Especially as a retiree, how do you just uproot her from everything and say you are moving to
Ibadan
? Importantly, her sisters, to whom she is very close, are all in
Lagos
. Then, Akin and Laide's kids, her only grand-children in
Nigeria
are also in
Lagos
. She sees them everyday because Laide drops her nannies and the kids in their house on her way to her own business. Now the twins are in school but they come and join their little brother in my parents' place after school until Laide picks the whole crew up later in the day. They are a real source of joy to her and she says she wants to be around them as they grow up. And, did they not speak about retirement plans in the past? Note to self: Re-confirm retirement plans with Boo to avoid any surprises at seventy-one. I just don't see her being fulfilled totally in
Ibadan
. How do you start making new friends at seventy-one? How do you join another church and all the church groups she is involved in at seventy-one? Well, I tried to encourage her. I said on the bright side,
Ibadan
is close to
Lagos
so she can always have her friends round for weekends. She can visit
Lagos
. It could be worse. He could say he wants to go and live in Fiditi. She did not seem convinced. She just kept saying she cannot live in
Ibadan
and that my father never spoke about
Ibadan
until after he recovered from cancer. I guess the thing is marriage is always a work in progress. I cannot believe that my parents with their rock solid marriage, in my opinion, are having a problem like this. Well, whatever,
Ibadan
or
Lagos
, I am sure they will tell us how to find them, right?
Anyway, sha, we had the shower in their house, the one they still live in, in
Lagos
:-). It was nice. I had it catered by some Aganyin women and then we ordered a cake and other medee-meedee (snacks and delicacies). We just generally sat round gisting. Sasu and another friend of ours, Alali, were the only two that were not married. So, you know advice was flowing like wine from all the "smug marrieds." Me sef, I was giving advice like one marriage guru, jare. Little did I know that my own 'hala was waiting for me in NY :-). It was interesting to listen to my friends, almost all of them, life-long friends, talk about their lives and how they are making their marriages work. And, because we are all close friends, you know people really let loose and none of all that pretence crap that I have seen at other bridal showers. Sasu got the great, the good, the bad, and the ugly on marriage. She cannot say that her friends were not real with her. All I can say is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus!
As I said, I got a number of books while I was home. I also went to a book event at the Jazzhole with Nobel Laureate, Nadine Gordimer. I almost missed it because it started earlier than scheduled. It was really humbling to be in the presence of such greatness I tell you. I was star struck. honest! She is a smallish, old woman but her books pack power. Right now, I am reading two of the books I brought from Naija. One is entitled: "Women, Marginalisation & Politics in
Nigeria
" edited by Jibrin Ibrahim and Amina Salihu. It is a very interesting book of profiles of a number of Nigerian female politicians, including Onyeka Owenu, Titi Ajanaku, Josephine Anenih, Hannatu Cholom, Loretta Aniagolu, and Habiba Sabo Gabarin, who is, so far, my favorite of all the women. It is a reasonably well written book, with loads of information on which one can ponder. I won't take it as the gospel truth on the experiences of female politicians in
Nigeria
, but I think anyone interested in Nigerian politicians should read it, especially women who have an interest in going for elective office in
Nigeria
. I am also reading "Footprints of the Ancestors: The Secret of Being Ojetunji Aboyade," which is edited by Bolanle Awe. It is selection of essays by people who knew Prof. Ojetunji Aboyade, including his friends such as Wole Soyinka, Muyiwa Awe (hubby of the editor), Akin Mabogunje, and Ette Ette. One thing I am finding so enlightening is seeing how he was able to pack so much activity into his life, which was cut short pretty suddenly on New Year's Eve in 1994. I am also trying to decipher how one person was able to make so many friends feel special and close to them. The book is decently written and for anyone interested in the real human being behind one of
Nigeria
's greatest economists, this is a book to read, I think. I am only a couple of pages into it, but I read snippets from each contributor before I purchased it. Yes, o, abeg, I have to make sure that I am getting value for my money. Sebi, Prof. Aboyade na economist? He will understand now?
So basically, that was Naija. If anything else comes to me, I will tell you over the next couple of weeks as the spirit moves me.
Sasu and Kefe just went back to Naija this morning. They came to spend time with us on their way back from their honeymoon in
Puerta Vallarta
,
Mexico
. They were looking so refreshed and happy. Honestly, there is nothing like marrying the person that you believe is the right person for you. I really pray that everything works out for them. They are both such good people. They are trying for a baby already. Sasu is like after waiting this long, she wants to pop a bun out of the oven in the next nine months, follow closely with another one in the next two years and close shop. Sasu! She is another one. She is such a planner. She started taking her folic acid and iron tablets well, well before her wedding. And, generally, cleansing her system, ready to take in from her wedding night. They are going straight to
Port Harcourt
. Kefe put his foot down that she has to move to
Port Harcourt
immediately. When she was complaining about what to do with her business, he found an office for her and started scouting for clients. She has one client in
Port Harcourt
already but she says she will chill on getting anymore because for now, her main priority is finding a way to serve her Lagos-based clients and starting a family. Sasu is ambivalent about moving base from
Lagos
to
Port Harcourt
but she is like she will embrace and give it her best since Kefe is firmly planted there and he ain't moving an inch.
Ngo, Sasu and I went shopping yesterday and over lunch, I gave some more advice. I told her that the first thing she should do when she gets to her new home, since it is her first time in it as a married woman is to just do a prayer walk all over the house. I am serious o. You know, I mean, you cannot take any chances with the devil men. Me, I believe in God and I believe in calling him into marriage matters, abeg. Especially with a long term bachelor like Kefe, do you know how many different men and women with all sorts of agendas have walked into that house? Wo, me I don't joke o. I said, Sasu, if you like go to sleep and say you are tired when you get home. My dear, your work has just started. Make sure you invite God to come and dwell in every nook and corner of that house before you settle in. And you make sure that you cancel anything that is at odds with your union with your husband. Not everything is Louis Vuitton bag, Ferragamo shoes, and looking good while the devil runs amock in your matrimonial home. Ah, you know, I like my Sasu jo! She got my drift. She said she will even fast for one week together with the prayer, just as an offering and a sign of thanksgiving to God for his protection over them and their marriage. If you people like, be laughing there. I tell you, there are things that only God understands so one should not leave such matters unattended by Him. Of course, Ngo agreed with me entirely.
Now, that Puerta Vallarta that they went, na me dey inside o. You know, I had to hook my friend up big time. Abi? That is what friends are for now? And the Lord knows that I went to work on Kefe on her behalf. I did!!! So, that is how Kefe called me a couple of months ago that he wants to choose honeymoon location that so, I should come and put head with him so that we can both see whether it will be something that Sasu likes. It was a surprise for her. He said he was thinking of
Cartagena
(Katahaynah),
Columbia
. I was like, Kefe, of course not! Don't even try that! The thing is three Christmases ago, Boo and I spent eight days in
Cartagena
and we loved it. That holiday was one of the best we have ever had. We stayed in the Hotel Santa Clara, which used to be a convent, but it has been taken over and restored with all its old charm by the Sofitel group. It was just a beautiful, old hotel with every modern amenity. It also has war ruins, including some from wars between the Spanish and the English centuries ago.
Cartagena
has been declared a world heritage site by UNESCO and it is just a very charming city, especially the old town. And, to make matters particularly interesting for me, my favorite writer, Gabriel Garcia Marquez has a house in
Cartagena
, which is walking distance from the hotel. Sad to say, I never got to see him although we walked past his house several times. Also,
Cartagena
has a number of jewelry factories and you know me now? We had to find them o. Abeg, no shaking!! If we are crying we should be seeing, jare. It also has the
South America
jewelry chain, Galleria Cano, where I bought a couple of very good quality imitations pieces of pre-Columbian gold. When I wear them to the office like this, come and see my Oyinbo colleagues checking me out. I no send o! I am just like, ah, Ko damo! As in, yes, recognize!! But, the trip to
Cartagena
is also kind of a painful one because we really thought that I would get pregnant on that trip. We were both very relaxed and without getting too graphic, let me just say we were busy. But, my period started on our last day in
Columbia
. Okay, can you stop reading if you are guy? Since you don't know what a period is! Yeye man!! Jare, my sistas let me continue jo! We went to the capital city,
Bogota
for two days and it started there.
Boo and I just decided that we were going to start visiting
South America
. First, parts of South America are nearer and cheaper than Europe or Africa or Asia or Australia or the Middle East, the culture and language are different from here and it is just something different to do and educational for us because we had never been to anywhere but Brazil. I went to
Mexico City
while I was in law school but that does not really count.
Mexico City
is so Americanized, I might as well have been in
Miami
.
Columbia
was the third country we went to. First, we went to
Guatemala
(
Guatemala City
) and then we went to
Argentina
(
Buenos Aires
and
Mendoza
, which is in the wine region) and then
Columbia
(
Cartagena
and
Bogota
). Both
Guatemala
and
Argentina
are really nice places. I really liked
Guatemala
because I felt like I was really in
South America
all the time there.
Argentina
can sometimes be like being in
Europe
. I think it tries too hard to be European from the little that we saw.
But, my dear sistas you know we like to shop abi? Abi you you don't like shopping? My dear, if you are chanced to pick a shopping destination in South America, my dear you will do well to make your way to
Buenos Aires
. Go to Calle
Florida
and tell them that Soul Sista sent you. You will NOT be disappointed. Are you looking for leather goods? I am not saying forget
Florence
or
Rome
, but
Buenos Aires
no send, abeg. What of clothes? And, you know the wonderful thing? They also have a wholesale part of town so if you want to get good stuff even cheaper, the way you can do in NY or
London
, you can do it in
Buenos Aires
. You know I like bags? Boo had to keep me in check. That is how we entered one leather shop in the wholesale district o! Then, one young woman came out that she is the designer. Come and see real, good quality leather. You know they have they have really good beef so they have good hide for leather. He, he, my head was singing! They say their cows eat only grass unlike in this our
US
where they will feed cow sotay, the thing will become mad cow. Why di cow no go mad when it is eating intestine of another one, plus including orishi-rishi growth hormones? Na wah!
Anyway, sha, the lady and I really hit it off. She now said she will give me discount. As soon as I heard discount like this, my head started spinning and I started calculating all what I could buy. Boo just called my full name and told me in Yoruba, oje rora (i.e., be careful). And he gave me one of those looks! He said: I think one or two bags will do for now and then we can come back again before we leave. Because the poor man was afraid before I will go and do the one that we will not be able to pay our hotel bill :-). And, truly, do you know even now when I think about it, I am like chai, a kid in a candy store. Also, for all you soccer fans, another reason to go to
Buenos Aires
is to go and watch Diego Maradona's team, Boca Juniors the football club that he used to play with before he went nuclear. Our hotel had one arrangement where they will take you to the match and bring you back, including food, the game fees, and transport too and fro. Boo and I went to watch them play and defeat one other team. I tell you, Argentineans are football crazy. Come and see from the beginning of the game to the end, some fans were cheering them. Some people did not sit down, na so, so cheering. I said, where did these people get this kind of energy? Na wah o! Me, I don't know anything about football o, but I knew I could not be in
Argentina
, have the opportunity to watch Maradona's team play and say no. Aha, me sef, ah stand well, well now! Why not? Where will I say I put my name? MKK's daughter to see good thing and run? No o! Plus, Boo is a big soccer fan so that was a real high for him. He bought so many souvenirs from their shop for himself and his friends.
Anyway, following that diversion, back to Kefe. So, every time we would come back, I would gist Sasu about it and she was always saying, ah, she too she has to look into the whole
South America
thing. So Kefe knew she was really into going to
South America
too. But, men sha! They just don't get it! They don't have the internal system that we have. I told him: Kefe, why would Sasu want to go to her honeymoon in a place that I have been to? Place don finish for world? Why not take her somewhere else, let her too come and gist me what happened there. Not the one that when she is gisting about her honeymoon, I will be completing her sentences. Please o. Abi? Do you need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out? Anyway, so I did my research sha. Na real research o. Don't joke because Sasu na my serious
Aruba
(good friend) so I get to sort her out nicely. So, I narrowed it down to Puerta Vallarta and Los Cabos, two very nice islands in
Mexico
. I had never been o, but my friends, Internet searches etc etc. I felt this was the way to go. And, he chose Puerta Vallarta. Sasu was very, very pleased with the choice. As they say in Yoruba, o royin, o gbe ti (i.e., she talk am, carry the matter sotay!) How they went to beach. How they walked around, how they did this, how they did that. I was like, wo, Sasu, e do, we sef don go honeymoon before now, abi? But, you know, I am just so happy for them.
While they were here, I was sleeping late everyday but I did not care. It was nice to be in the house with people that I actually want to have around, not the wife beater, Folarin. It just makes me so mad that he is in my house and there is nothing I can do about it now. Talking about which, let me segue jejely to my Boo. Shay, I had decided to adopt siddon look with him? How for do now? When you beg somebody sotay and the person come do like say, im be saint so he never vex you before so na unforgivable sin as you vex am come beg? Abi? What can I do? So, I was just looking at him. Then, sha, my mumsie arrived in DC for my sista's wahala with her hubby. And, I now called her to say welcome o. She said that I sounded sad. Me, I didn't even know that I was sounding sad. So, I said nothing and then she asked about him and I now told her what happened. So, she now added her own yabis on top of my head. How she has been warning me that because I have a husband who does not stand in the way of my freedom and progress, I should not abuse it o. That there are so men that marrying them is like going to battle, that I should not f'ayo fo (i.e., use play and unserious behavior to break a good thing). So, she went on and on and I am like mummy, is it okay for my husband to be keeping malice with me? I sha begged him! So she now said that ehen, I will have to beg him more. And, I was like that is what you have to say to his keeping malice? So, at that point, I just told her okay, bye. I now realized that okay, let me beg again, sebi mum knows best. Then I called his practice manager, Bernice. She is kindly middle-aged Jamaican woman and I asked her that she should book me as a patient to see him. Just give me any name and book me after his last patient for the day. So, you know, Bernice and I we get on well now, she was like okay, no hassle.
So, I left work early on that day and I went straight to his practice. And, when they called patient, Andrea James, it was me. You should have seen the shock in his face. You know, I think he used to prepare himself mentally when he is coming home that okay, he is going to face his wife, so strong face begins. But, I totally destabilized him and he wanted to start boning face again. And, I was just like Boo, we need to talk. We cannot go on like this. So, after trying to stonewall me for about twenty minutes he now started talking. He talked, and talked and talked. How I humiliated him. How I don't trust him. How he could not believe that his wife would distrust him like that. How I behaved very selfishly. Just the usual. Me too, I talked about communication and how we have to really be able to resolve our problems like adults. I was like, Boo, you kept malice with me for so long? That makes me really scared. I did not know you were capable of such malice. You wake up by my side and not say a word to me? You ignore me? I greet you and you grunt! So, we sha talked and talked we shouted at each other, you know, the usual, calmed down and it is getting better between us. But, it is far from perfect. Having Sasu and Kefe around was a good thing on one level because they are both such loving people to have around.
But, it also masked the fact that we still have work to do on ironing out the issues between us. He thinks I am trying to re-arrange our financial arrangements but I told him, if you cannot realize that you need to let me know before you go off and buy property, there is something wrong. I am not just a kept woman! I am a rational, thinking adult and I am your wife and the fact that you think that is normal shows that we are not operating on the same wavelength. I love you, but with a child coming into our home, by God's grace before the end of this year, our plans that some time soon, I will leave my job to raise this child and concentrate on de-stressing my body and taking the treatments that we pray will result in us having another child naturally, I just don't feel that I can trust that you won't become like Lord and Master who I must obey before I will be provided for financially. Do you see what I am saying? I work and I can look after myself. I may not be able to afford all the material comforts that Boo provides, but he did not pick me up from the street. I had to remind him of that and he did not like it. But, you know, sometimes, you need to walk your man down memory lane because the good Lord knows they can have short memories!!! I had two apartments in my name before I married him, which I still have, so I was not some ditzy, airhead who had no clue of how to invest money or make smart financial decisions. And, hell, if I will willingly walk into a situation where Boo will control my life financially any which way he wants without any reference to me. I just cannot do it. And, before I leave my job, we have to be clear on that. I am making a sacrifice for us, for what we want, and I need for him to know and appreciate that. Okay, so you don't understand that! I don't care because there has to be a sista out there that does not think I am crazy. This whole leave your job thing is such an Americanism! Damn, Nigerian women work all the time. But, here I am just not ready to leave my child with anyone for the first couple of years. I tell you, it is not easy.
We have still not gotten jiggy with it! At this point, I just don't feel like having sex with him. He tried, finally, on the night I came to meet him at his practice. But, you know what, I was on my period! And, Boo needs to want it really bad to take it then. I tell you, it was sweet revenge. Ehen!! Abeg!! You that you have only sweet thoughts, comot for road. All those days when I was offering it to him, begging him to take me there, he was annoyed. Now, he wants it and nature had other ideas. He has not tried again. I have not offered. Well, we will be fine. We always bounce back. The important thing is that I love the man. I would not exchange him for any other and he loves me too. We will work it out. But it is work and compromise. I just want to know that he is listening to me because there I times when I just feel like I am talking to a wall, honestly. And, I need to understand how I can be married to a man that has the capacity for such malice. That is hard because I cannot do it, I cannot understand it.
Anyway, moving on, Sasu and I went to the panel discussion and viewing of Abdelrahmanne Sissako's film,
Bamako
last Tuesday. I announced the event previously in the NVS calendar. It is film in which the IMF and the World Bank are put on trial in a courtyard in
Mali
for the effects of their policies on
Africa
. It is part of the NY Film Festival, which is ongoing. See Link Let me just say, the panel discussion was something else. I did not know when I started taking notes like a journalist. O, boy! O, O, boy!! I tell you. On the panel were Sissako, Jeffrey Sachs, Joseph Stiglitz (Nobel Laureate and former World Bank Chief Economist) and Harry Belafonte. Then, it was moderated by Mahmud Mamdani. Mamdani, Sachs and Stiglitz are all tenured professors at
Columbia
University
. The panel was off the hook. First, I love Harry Belafonte and when he started, I had to take notes. He talked about his interest in social justice and how it started off from his mother taking him as a little boy to see the film, “Tarzan of the Apes” in 1935 in
Harlem
. His mother, who was a
Jamaica
immigrant, was from the same town as Marcus Garvey and she countered the image of Africans that the film portrayed as, in his words: "diminished people, bungling ignoramuses, and people you wanted nothing to do with." Yes, I told you I took notes. No be so? He said she took him to see Marcus Garvey speak when he came to speak in
New York
. And, from there, he just took on a life of social activism, against racism, colonialism, and now, just general economic injustice between the peoples in the "have" countries and the "not have" countries. He said that there has never been a "square and honorable" debate about Africa and that there has to be before we can really get to the root causes of the problems of
Africa
.
The next person to speak was Stiglitz. I have to say I was not crazily impressed by his oral delivery but make no bones, this is one smart guy. And, I want to read his new book (Making Globalization Work), which he touted more than once during the discussion! He gave some scary statistics about cotton. Can you believe that he said that the U.S. Government gives $ 3 to 4 billion in subsidies to 3 to 4 thousand cotton farmers in the
U.S.
? Because these farmers have these subsidies, they are able to produce and lower the price of cotton in the international markets and affect the fortunes of 10 million cotton farmers in
Africa
? Shockingly, Stiglitz said that the farmers in the
U.S.
are millionaires. This is not a question of the government helping out some small time, poor farmers. No, these guys are heavy rollers who have a lobby so strong that they keep that subsidy, year in year out and the U.S. Government keeps preaching no tariffs and free trade per the WTO Uruguay Round agreement to the whole world. I know world trade is very unfair, but those figures just boggle the mind. Then Sachs spoke, very briefly. I have listened to Sachs on a couple of occasions, so I was not like upset that he was brief but I know he can talk more than that, so I was like, Jeffrey, kilode now? Anyway, he spoke about the World Bank now realizing that SAP was such a debacle in
Africa
that they have to clean up their act and do something about the mess they created. Sissako said he just wanted to make a film so the world would know that Africans know that they are being screwed. Mamdani was a good moderator and he spoke about killing African intellect on the continent because the SAP policies required withdrawal of university funding. He was particularly pissed that almost all the reliable data about Africa is produced outside of
Africa
because the capacity to produce research is largely missing. As I said, it was a really enlightening panel. I am not writing up the entire discussion but it was real food for thought.
The audience too was star studded. It included Danny Glover, who gave me a really genuine looking smile and shook my hands. He was just mixing it up with the crowd. Mira Nair (producer of the Monsoon Wedding and wife of Mandani) was also there. I introduced myself to her as a fan of her work and she was very gracious. I told her how I loved the Monsoon Wedding and she seemed genuinely pleased to hear that. I also went up to talk to Harry Belafonte but I just did not flow. I think I was too star struck. Okay, sorry o, you that you are always ready twenty-four seven!
Also present was the Ethiopian super model, Liya Kebede. Yes, o, the same Liya that is face of Esteé Lauder cosmetics. And, you know me now, I first noticed her from one corner of my eye. She had no make up on, her hair was just okay in one very loose all to the back thing, and she had on an over size gray sweater. You will not know that this is somebody that graces the cover of magazines like Vogue! So, I now said, Sasu, look o. Is that not Liya Kebede? So Sasu confirmed. So, after the discussion, while Sasu was still speaking to Mamdani, me, I went to speak to Liya. Very nice woman o. She was very pleasant. So pleasant that I now said, I like the work you are doing with VVF (vesico-vaginal fistula) victims in
Ethiopia
. And, from there, we got talking, I told her about fistula in
Nigeria
, she asked me what I do, I told her that I am lawyer, and we just spoke for about fifteen minutes about various issues. I was very pleased to note how calm, courteous, pleasant, and intelligent she was. We even argued about the efficacy of prosecution of people who circumcise their daughters. I don't think that it works without proper education but she disagreed and she said I should go and check out the progress in
Botswana
. You know me now, overzea! That is how, as she was about to leave, I now gave her my card that you know, if you ever feel like speaking more to a Nigerian on these issues, check me out! Yeye, like me. It is me that she is looking for. But, sha, it was nice speaking to her. All in all, it was just a really pleasant evening, even though the weight of the situation in
Africa
and the seeming hopelessness loomed large in our minds.
For other information on the panel and the people at the event, see:
Link1
Link2
jstiglitz@ColumbiaU
African_Film_NY
Belafonte
Danny_Glover
Liyakebede
Mirabai_Films
Okay, the one wey ah write do for one night, abeg. By the way, has any of you watched this Naija film by Tade Ogidan, "Mummy Dearest" also titled, in Yoruba, "Aya mi Owon"? My dears, I don't generally watch Nollywood films. It is not that I have anything against them, I have just never gotten into them. But, while I was in Naija, one of Boo's cousins brought this film to their house. I tell you, the film was so well acted. I mean, I have to doff my hat to the actors and to the director, Tade Ogidan. This is a first class production and I am mighty impressed. If you get a chance, even if you don't speak Yoruba, the English sub-titles are very good, try to watch it.
I am off!
|
RSS Feeds | Podcasts
Posted by Robot| 09.10.2006 10:43