Random Musing IV, Part B.
September 6, 2006

I woke up really early today. I did not have a choice: my nephew woke me up. He plays the saxophone (quite atrociously, if I might add) and his room is next to the room that I am staying in. He has to practise for one hour at least every morning and so the whole house must awaken with him. I was telling his mother, Ndate that they should have told me that one before o, may be I for stay for London jeje. Just joking, I really love my nephew and his sisters. I call them the French ones, much to my mother's minor irritation.   French is the language they speak at home. My brother lost the battle to speak English or Yoruba in his household when he married a Wolof lady from Senegal and decided to make Paris his home. But they speak English whenever anyone from our side is visiting. I am always so aware of the “Empire” that is America when I visit them. My nephew and nieces speak English with American accents. Apparently their English teachers are American and most English TV available on Cable is American. Their written English is also American, in part due to the American domination of the Internet. So these kids who have never lived anywhere but in France, right next door to the Queen, speak with American accents. I have observed this same phenomenon with Asian kids and kids from other parts of Europe. I tell you, if you were ever in doubt, American Global domination is complete!

Anyway, I arrived at Gare du Nord yesterday into the warm embrace of my brother, Laja and his younger daughter, Moyosore (Momo for short). I don’t think that Laja will ever see me as anything but his kid sister. He still pulled my cheeks after he finished hugging me.  I can remember when I was growing up. I thought he was the greatest thing ever.  He was fiercely protective of Yele and I. He is the only one of my brothers who goes out of his way to find out how Boo is treating me, what is happening with our child issue and all the gory details of anything that is bothering me. It is not that Akin and Yele don't care but they are different types of animals from Laja.  Laja is very sensitive, which is why I can never understand the aloof position he maintains in the sometimes not so smooth relationship between his mother and his wife. But, wo, I am not a psychologist. Na im sabi! It is not that Akin and Yele are not sensitive but I have different types of relationships with them. Akin is the typical Nigerian man living in Nigeria. Please don't crucify me, there is such a thing as a typical Nigerian man whether you like it or not.  So long as your husband is "doing well" and "looking after you" (whatever that is supposed to mean), he does not want to know anything else. You are a woman, get married, make your home, that is what women do. Yele, I tell any and everything so I don’t even give him a chance to define our relationship. We are just really close and he is younger than me so it is like different. I remember when it became very clear that Boo and I were going to get married, Laja invited Boo over to hop over to Paris to visit with him and his family when Boo went to Scotland for an alumni event at his college. I was wondering to myself, kilode now? But, I guess he wanted to assess Boo at close quarters, away from my prying eyes and subtly let Boo know that I stand well, well, with a big brother that has my back. Be laughing there, these things are important abeg. Sometimes, it is good for your spouse, male or female, to know that there are people in your family who hold you like an egg. 

I love Akin but he would never be that sensitive. He is the loudest one of my brothers, the most popular, the shortest, the one that gave my parents the longest run for their money while he was growing up, the most materially comfortable, and the only one who lives in Nigeria. Sitting back now and reflecting on their different characters and the wives they have chosen is quite interesting. I think I will write about it some day. Akin’s wife, Laide, for example, is just the right type for him. Her head is screwed right and she comes from a very down to earth, close knit, good Ondo family.  She can mix in with anyone, high and low.  If he was married to one of those on fo l'oke (high in fluff, low in substance girls) that he used to carry around one time, it is another thing that we will be saying now.  Because you need the kind of head that Laide has to handle my brother.  As if he does not realize the good wife that he has, can you believe that he is having a hot and reckless affair with one stupid, insolent small girl that works in one of the telecom companies in Lagos. He said the affair is nothing when I accosted him and refused to discuss the issue, dismissing me with a laugh. But it is nothing, yet this girl has the guts to be telling me that she is your girl friend? It is nothing yet, you sent this girl to speak to me while I was in Naija. That you are mentoring her and she is looking to do an MBA in the  U.S. so you thought it would be a good idea for her to speak to me.  I was wondering too that why are you a lawyer mentoring one girl that ones to do MBA?  What is the connection between you and this small girl?  She works in a telecoms company, you have a law firm.  What is the mentoring there?  Mentor wetin? Is it professional mentoring?  If so, what group connected you two together?  Despite these questions, I said okay. So, I met up with her at Le Saison, Tosan Jemide's café in Ikoyi, only to start hearing nonsense about how she is Akin's girlfriend.  Very daft girl that cannot even hold an interesting conversation.  I did not even wait for her to finish her history of the girlfriend of her enemy. I just called the waiter, asked for the bill, paid only my own portion of it and warned her to leave my brother alone because he is a married man with three kids, called her an ashewo and an oniranu omo kekere (useless small girl) at the top of my voice and walked out on her.
 
Can you imagine?  I am really disappointed in Akin. And, I told him. I hope he will check himself before he uses his hands to destroy the best thing that has ever happened to him.  Now, he is an active participant in wrecking his own home. What more is he looking for?  Laide is a good wife with whom he has three sons. The woman born a set of twin boys and topped it up with a little brother for the twins.  But, he must still be having girlfriend.  Please can you tell me what he is looking for?  And such effrontery to be telling me how she is the girlfriend of a married man.  She is not ashamed.  Did she think I am one of those useless sisters that help their brothers to wreck their lives?  Even he was shocked that she let me into the fact that she is his girlfriend. Mentor my foot! I warned him o, that I only know Laide so he should carry his dirty business elsewhere. Infradig.  And if you see the girl, she cannot hold a torch to Laide in class, poise, confidence, beauty, dressing, spoken language. Nothing. So if we are talking just superficial stuff, Laide knocks her out TKO. How someone can be married to a classy, beautiful, smart, and industrious woman like Laide and then be following one ashinene that is too stupid to know that it is not a thing of pride to be going around introducing yourself as the girlfriend of a married man is beyond me. You leave a good wife, a wife that even my aunts, my mother’s sisters, the most difficult women to please if you are a wife, have endorsed as the gold standard and you start chasing after one small girl as if you have never seen woman before. I wonder if Laide knows about the affair or whether this is even the first one. Who knows? I am almost certain that it is not the first. There is something about the way he laughed it off.  Akin is such a cow. Well, I am keeping him in my prayers sha so that God will open his eyes to see what is important and what is fluff.  Anyway, abeg, I have my own marital issues too jare. Anyone that wants to invite the devil into his business is free to do so.  My own is to pray for him.  Don't laugh o.  It is true now. What can one do in such a situation? 

So, back to Paris sha. I am enjoying the visit. I will be here till Sunday. Ndate is writing up her Ph.d. thesis at the moment.  She is having a very hard time with one of the chapters so I think having me around is a welcome distraction for her right now.  Laja has said that she has to finish it by the end of the year otherwise, the house will not contain both of them.  Me, I am keeping out their yahwah. If the woman has writer's block, she has writer's block, no?  So, the person that is not the writer that thinks he will set time table, we will see how he will enforce it.  Abi? As the Yoruba say, F'ori f'ori a f'ori s'igi (The person that keeps threatening and threatening will one day bang his head into a tree with all his threats).  Ndate and I spent half the day at the Musée d'Orsay today. Then we went off for a meal in a restaurant not too far from the Espace Dali (The Salvadore Dali Museum) in Montmart. I love the Musée d'Orsay. It is in a beautiful building, converted from a train station and it is manageable.  Manageable as in you can really take in the museum pieces at your own leisurely pace.  It has excellent paintings by impressionists like Monet, Manet, Renoir, Van Gogh, and Cézanne as well as other masters like Gaugin and Rousseau.  Museums like the Louvre in Paris, the British Museum in London or the Metropolitan Museum in New York give me a headache. There is so much to see and I often feel as if I have to see it all and then I don't end up enjoying the experience.  So, when there is good smaller museum, I tend to gravitate towards that. Nevertheless, I am going to try and make the Louvre tomorrow.  Please, I cannot come to Paris and not do the Louvre, whether it is big or small jare.  Whenever I go, I try to do the Louvre, even if only to see the Mona Lisa.  Currently, there is an exhibition of American artists on at the Louvre.  I have always sneered at American art so may I might see that too so that I can be better educated.  I am also going for dinner in the house of an old law school friend, Dominique and her hubby, Olivier on Friday night.  Otherwise, I just plan to hang out with my family people jare.

Talking of art, there is such a burst of creativity in Naija now.  It is amazing.  Honestly.  I think it is a good time to practice your craft as an artist in Naija now. Is it in the music scene?  Forget o.  The music coming out of Nigeria now is too live.  There is so much talent and it is our own.  The only thing that I don't like about some of the musicians is all this copying Western dress. I don't mind you rapping in Pidgin or doing a techno version of African Queen, but must you really wear that leather jacket in Nigeria?  What of the turtle neck and the ski jacket?  I wish a designer like Zizi Cardozo or Deola Sagoe will take one of these groups or singers and Nigerianize their wardrobe for God's sake.  Next time I see TuFace on TV, I want him to be wearing ankara or adire, you know?  But, it is not only music that has flowered, every other form of art has.  Nigerian artists like Rom Isichei and Diseye Tantua have gone o!!!  Forget it.  I remember going to Diseye Tantua's studio in Port Harcourt the time I visited Nigeria before this last visit and thinking this guy is something else.  Now, where will you even find his work?  He is so in demand.  What of Rom Isichei? Today, Berlin, tomorrow Sweden, show casing Nigerian art all the way.  You cannot get Rom's paintings anymore. They fly off immediately he finishes them.  You go to the top law firms in Lagos now and see Nigerian art on the walls. It is good. Then you have raw talent like Damola Adepoju. You have more established artists like Sam Ovraiti, Ndidi Dike, and Abiodun Olaku still going strong. 

Then the masters like Yusuf Grillo and Bruce Onobrakpeya are still there. I don't even know how much work they still do but their work is so much in demand.  In particular, you just cannot find any Grillo paintings now.  Do you know some evil people made fakes of his paintings and were selling them for well over a million? Honestly.  But, there are many developments are very exciting for the arts. There are more galleries in Lagos now and many of them seem to be doing decent work to get visibility for the artists.  I was very pleased by some of what I saw when I visited some of the galleries like Signature, Mydrim, and Pendulum.  Sachs is a smaller gallery with a wealth of paintings that just keep calling you to take them home.  While it is clear that the gallery owners want to make money, I also felt that these are people who have a genuine love for the arts and are interested in developing and encouraging artists.  I will always remember Damola Adepoju's fantastic painting (oil on canvass) of Oshodi that I saw in one of the galleries.  I wanted to buy it, but, apparently, it was commissioned by someone who had already paid for it.  I think the media too is doing a great job of stimulating creativity and telling people about it.  In particular, the Guardian has a Sunday pull out magazine that I found quite informative.  ThisDay also has a style pull out, edited by a woman called Ruth Osime who described herself as a socialite in one of the gossip rags.  I found it quite interesting, especially one section that deals with fashion blunders, complete with a photograph of the person that made the blunder. 

The other thing that I noticed is the number of biographies and autobiographies that my parents had in their house.  Some are not so new but I had not noticed them previously.  The quality of printing and some of the editing leaves something to be desired in some of them, but some were decently done.  I noted with much pleasure that a significant number of the biographies were of women in their 70s and 80s.  I started reading the biography of Mrs. Fola Akintunde-Ighodalo, the first female permanent secretary in Nigeria, written by LaRay Denzer: "Folayegbe Akintunde-Ighodalo: A Public Life"  BTW, note that Mrs. Akintunde-Ighodalo has since passed on, would have been in her 80s if she was still alive, was happily married to her husband, Mr. Jeremiah Ighodalo until her death, and used a double barreled surname (Akintunde-Ighodalo), combining her father's with her husbands all through her married life.  So my sisters, when some ignorant person tells you that you came to America to open eye, that is why you want to have a double-barreled surname, tell them about Mrs. Akintunde-Ighodalo who was happily married for almost fifty years until her death.  As the good book says, "my people perish for lack of knowledge."  There are also other biographies, like that of Mrs. Phebean Ogundipe: "Upcountry Girl." Mrs. Ogundipe who is seventy-nine co-authored the Practical English series that many of us used in secondary school. You don't remember it?  Ano you no take English for secondary school?  Are you sure you did not go to Abe-Bridge Grammar School?  I am just joking, but check yourself if you don't know that book, o, my friend.  You are very suspect :-).  I flipped through Upcountry Girl and I think it is very, very well written.  It is one of the books that I brought back to read.  Mrs. Ogundipe was one of the earliest female graduates in the country, a working woman all her life.  She met her husband while they were both young teachers in the same school.  So, when some ignorant person tells you that Nigerian women did not work and starts making all sorts of noise about providing as if women have not always provided without informing the whole world, remind him of Mrs. Ogundipe, the seventy-nine year old grand-mother that worked all her life and still receives royalties on her books till this day.  There is also a biography of Mrs. Shade Thomas-Fahm, the first Nigerian fashion designer.  I brought that one too back. Mrs. Thomas-Fahm (please note the double barreled last name) is about seventy-two now.  Her book is entitled:  "The Faces of She."  I just skimmed through it.  It has a fair number of pictures of her early designs and the glamorous sixties.
  
Back to my family jare. Abi, neither art nor biography are my family members, abi? Mamon, Ndate's mum is also around.  Since her husband died, she has split her time between Dakar and Paris, with Ndate and her sister. She is a nice woman and an absolutely fantastic cook. Yesterday, she cooked the Senegalese national dish, Tiébou Dienn and for dinner today, she cooked another Senegalese dish that I really like, Yassa.  I have to hand it to her, we were all licking our plates. But wait o, between Ndate and Mamon, they have turned my brother into a Senegalese man, complete with his Senegal style Buba and Sokoto, plus the incense that they are always burning in their house.  It is really funny to observe, not to my mother sha but that one is another story.  Laja has tried to teach his three children Yoruba, but with the exception of Momo, they all speak more Wolof than Yoruba.  Mamon makes sure that they speak Wolof to her so they are getting the Wolof well, well.  My brother wants his children to speak Yoruba but na so, so French he will be speaking to them.  Mamon on the other hand is making no mistake about getting that Wolof across to them.  But, omo Akin, Laja is not giving up with a fight.  Because Momo is Laja's last chance, he is really taking special interest to ensure that she understands Yoruba well.  He made sure that I brought some Yoruba books from Naija for her. Poor Momo, her father has taken her on as his personal Yoruba project; we will see whether this project succeeds:-).

Abeg, ah dey go.  I really want to tell you about London but some how, it is something else that keeps flowing out of my hands.  Anyway, let me say small.  I went to Peckham for the first time in my life while I was in London. I totally loved being there.  I am not sure that I would want to live there but there is just such energy on the streets.  The energy of my peeps in all their glory.  I loved it.  We went to one restaurant, Lolak or Lolade on the street in Peckham that has all Naija shops. The food was really sweet, kilode? We also bought Ghana bread and Titus sardine in one provision store.  No guessing what I had for dinner that night.  Then on another day, we went to 805 on Old Kent Road. Truly, you people are enjoying in that London.  Even in Naija, not many places can do that Monika fish and dodo like 805. Na wah o!  Na so I just dey knack the Monika go with one small Odeku and coke.  But, the best time was with my dear, dear Uncle Tunji Oyelana at Emukay.  It was too sweet.  I say you people in London are enjoying.  See me saying my dear, dear, Uncle Tunji? The man no know me o.  But, ah don know am since 19go-go-ro.  He is much older than I remember him, but he is graying gracefully. He was singing all these old tunes and playing the keyboard. It was fantastic. At 2:00 a.m. when he finished playing, I said wetin encore o, but that was the end. Anyway, ah dey go. More on Emukay later. 

Sai da safe! O d'aro o!  Kachifo!

Robot  Villager

# 1 ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 07.09.2006 01:13

crimsonbabe  Villager

# 2 You are GOOD.. .felt like I was there reading your stuff.. keep it coming.. when is Part C coming our way CB Posted by crimsonbabe| 07.09.2006 11:23

.bebi  Villager

# 3 i just lurve rading your diary.really entertaining. your brother's gfriend is a big fool.im sorry to say so Posted by .bebi| 07.09.2006 11:37

Nijajazz  JJC

# 4 Bebi, the chick is not her brother's girlfriend oh!! :mad: Momentary Insanity … that is the girl’s title. Like you said SS, prayer is all that can be done for now. Posted by Nijajazz| 07.09.2006 21:50

Buki  Villager

# 5 SS - glad to have u back! Don't vex that we didn't ask after u, if something had happened (God forbid!) Big Kwould have posted something, so i went with 'no news is good news':biggrin: Great articles, between part A and part B you have taken us from one continent to the next, where to in part C? i have my passport and the visa is soon coming:lol: All you can do is pray for your older brother, his wife and their kids, hopefully your words will resonate with him, even if he laughed it off , he won't be able to shake the truth of your observation. It's true that this is not uncommon with our men, especially in naija and most especially our succesful ones, it's as if there's some code that says 'you haven't arrived as a man or a success until you have a mistress':confused: I don't understand it and I don't want to, but people will do what they choose, understanding is for the one doing it not the one looking in. Aaah, my visa is at the door, or is it ejire?:eek: No, I'm safe:D it's my visa, oya let's go to part C! Posted by Buki| 07.09.2006 21:54

emj  Villager

# 6 hmmmmmmmmmm------mon gbadun e ojare, eleyo eyo:biggrin: Soul sista, about time you turn dis ya dairy into a book. I quite enjoyed reading this particular part B. I sorta liked how you were weaving from one scene to the other:eek: An indepth look at dis part B, showed that it is loaded with so many information that you will ordinarily not get anywhere(quite a delight to read the whole of random musings, and most especially part 4A& B). Wonder what will be in Part c. The part about the women with double-barrel names and mrs ogundipe's achievement(won yo si) was quite educative:cool: You took us from moral lessons to arts, appreciation of what we have, values for things etc etc----you dis babe self---na real igbadun you dey---we patiently await ur arrival----we must have a fillage bonfire when u return:D Posted by emj| 07.09.2006 23:01

Charmer  Villager

# 7 SS, Really nice yarns!! As per the girl you talked about, she's an "oniranu omo kekere" indeed! I wonder why peope don't believe that "you reap what you sow". She wants to help destroy another woman's home, and yet, when she marries, she'll expect her man to be faithful to her...yeah right! It really saddens my heart when I hear of such stories and I start to wonder what is lacking in these women... is it morals, the fear of God or just plain good upbringing? Yeah, I know the useless men chase after them, but it definitely takes two to tango. Well, what goes around comes around. Just keep praying for your brother and someday, God will touch his heart and he'll change his ways... By the way, I must really commend you...you seem very rooted in Nigerian Arts and Culture, and with all the inofrmation you just passed along, my interest has been definitely aroused. Abeg, keep the info coming and have a wonderful time in Paris! Posted by Charmer| 08.09.2006 15:17

KJA Diva

# 8 I couldnt help myself but laugh at your response to your brother's girlfriend. But Im glad you did what you did. I dont know when we're going to break this cycle of accepting extra marital relationships. We need more family members like you who will not accept that nonsense and speak some truth into the responsible party. Too often the family turns a blind eye to what the others are doing...alot of times you see them in support...and my thing is they dont want that happening to them... I love your writing..love the way you express yourself. Looking forward to reading the rest... Posted by KJA Diva| 08.09.2006 16:26

bennie  Villager

# 9 Dear SS, Honestly, you need to write a book or memoirs as Oyinbo people talk. Both part A and B were very interesting - a digression from the sadness and depression called Nigerian politics. For this obodo oyinbo wen everybody dey pursue moni, e hard sometimes to ask for family and friends. Even people wen dey live with us for the same town, we fit no see them for plenty months. Next time you come Europe, make you play reach this our side for Ireland. The country small but in landscape fine well well. Make you enjoy Paris and learn small Francais like je ma pelle madmoseille Soul Sis (abeg ce ne pas francais o be4 our Phd language holders crucify me). Have a great weekend. Bennie Posted by bennie| 09.09.2006 05:26

Auspicious  Villager

# 10 Soul Sista!!! Your mouth too sweet! Even as you be tatafo too but its all good. Poor girl - your brother's girlfriend. Wait, I was thinking as I read your story about her: is it possible that she doesn't know that your brother is happily married with three kids? (No that I am unaaware of instances where some Nigerian hot-blooded chikas will still poke head anyways despiye knowing the man's married). I simply couldn't help but wonder if she knew that fact or not. I was wondering if you simply assumed she knew when she actually didn't. What say ye? Regards your impression of the 'Art Revolution' in Nigeria, you have a co-enthusiast in Auspicious. I just discovered that fact in the last few months - Naija don step up BIG TIME! Lord, I hear some of those songs and I'm like MEEEEEN! There is RAW talent in that land - virtually untapped raw talent. Is it that guy from Jos called Jeremiah Gayang with the sensational voice, or the Bobos and Chikas from Las-Gidi with their superb improvizations? Ehn?! As some Yanks love to say, it's off that hook! But you are right though, their fashion sense needs some help - the copy-copy of western dressing is to muSh. Leather jacket/ski mask in Naija..ahn, ahn, ki lo de! Your Paris jist is dry jere. Just kidding..it was a sweet family story. :wink: But your short London jist was mouth-watering...even if it ended abruptly. I get the direction of the 'jist' though. For someone who hasn't been in Naija in years, London IS Nigeria for me - especially those Naija areas and their eateries. I plan to liase with Wale Akin to take me on a tour when next I hop across the Pond if he doesn't mind! That guy knows London like he knows Las Gidi. If you read his account of Lagos and London, you'd get my drift! Wo, Soul Sista, you are Da Bomb jare. You couldnt have found a more befitting name than Soul Sista - your articles/write-ups/stories've got a soul of their own - taking the Village along with your journeys and experiences. Me I dey hia dey wetey the story of your London visit jare - the good, the bad, the "razz" (LOL! - only in a Naija neighborhood in London will a Naija woman be free to dash to the store across the street in a simple wrapper and flip-flops to buy tissue-paper or toothpaste early in the morning!) More 'oyel' to ya elbow o jare! Auspicious. Posted by Auspicious| 09.09.2006 12:59

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