First let me congratulate all you mothers and wish you well on Mothers’ Day. We don do Mother’s Day in Naija in March. So, I am so special, I have two Mothers’ Days. Me sef, I congratulate myself for the first (second, first in March) time in my life jare that Happy Mothers’ Day to me. Wo, will I not greet myself if you don’t greet me? Will I not? Na today ah don dey wait to be among? Is there any need to lie that I am not on cloud nine today? No be you people? Wetin una no know about me? Abeg!!

Darleeen, hawayouoo?
Hawayouoo? 
Your babee is so kooot (cute).  
Yeah, your moda tod (told) me you had had a babee (my mum really needs to stop lying)
Tans be to Gaad (Thanks be to God)
Olorun a gbadura gbogbo wa (God will answer all our prayers)
Bet you gron so dark! (But, you have gotten so dark)
O lo cream ni (Are you not using cream?)

And, with a mother like Alali's, forget o! Damn, Aunty Furo! Mrs. Fingesi is something else. Alali was okay living at home with her parents, which is a weird thing to do when you are almost forty. There are four kids, she has one older and two younger brothers all of whom are married with kids. Alali's mumsie na original terrorist. That is how she was harassing my friend, almost like fight everyday. Her mum would say the most horrible things. Can you imagine at the beginning of one year, she called Alali and said: The end of this year must not meet you in this house go and marry and leave me and my husband alone.

But, I also love my husband Boo. He is my soul mate. And, I know he will be a good father. I know I will be a good mother, even if a bit strict. So, why? Why? Why? We made a decision for us. And, he is my for better for worse, not my parents. But, still it is hard. And, I love my baby. I love my baby. I did not carry him for nine months. I did not labor to bring him into the world. I will never breast feed him. But, still he is my child. Still, I am his mother. Still, I am a mother. Me, yes, me.