| [SPECIAL] Alao & Shakey-Shakey@the United Nations |
|
 |
| Written by Sonala Olumhense | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Wednesday, 24 September 2008 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Alao & Shakey-Shakey@the United Nations (A Special“conversation,” By Sonala Olumhense)
“Michael, come o!”
“Na wetin, Ojo?”
“You seem quite happy here in New York? Are you not worried about anything?”
“Not really, Ojo. Is there a reason I should be worried?”
“Of course! I can count several reasons. Have you lost your focus, Michael?”
“Pardon me, Honourable Foreign Minister. We are here on a national assignment. I do not think I have given you any reason to suspect my lack of focus.”
“Okay, Michael. I am happy you remember this is a national assignment, a Nigerian assignment. But have you observed the character and composition of other delegations?”
“Ojo, one cannot walk two yards around here without bumping into another delegation. Of course you and I have talked to many of them. What is the problem?”
“I have not said there is a problem. But have you not observed that each is led by a Head of State or Government?”
“Mostly, yes. But some of them are also led by Ministers.”
“Very observant, Michael. Very observant. So why are you and I here like Alao and Shakey-Shakey?”
“Who are Alao and Shakey-Shakey?”
“Once Nigeria’s most famous radio comedians. Why are we here, two senior ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria?”
“Ojo, you suggest I may be losing focus, but are you sure you are alright? We are here because we were sent by the President of Nigeria!”
“You know I would never question the wisdom of the President. But have you wondered why two Ministers, including the Foreign Affairs Minister, were sent to the General Assembly?”
“Ojo, I do not question the wisdom of the President either.”
“But listen, we are not just two ministers. I am the principal here, responsible for Foreign Affairs. I cannot really speak in the place of the President. I have to wait until the Heads finish addressing the Assembly sometime next week.”
“And so? That is the nature of the General Assembly.”
“So why was another Minister of the Federal Republic required? If I were not here, then it might have been easier to understand why any other combination of Ministers was sent. One Minister, working with the Permanent Representative is what you see all over the place where the Heads are absent.”
“Ojo, did you sleep well? You do not make sense.”
“I slept very well. Like you, Michael, I have a great suite at one of the world’s best hotels. What I mean is: your presence here is not really of benefit to Nigeria. Does any Member State really need the Attorney-General of that country to sign any treaties, particularly if another senior official is on hand? And Nigerians will wonder why the government is spending so much money on two ministers and their entourages, like using two spoons to turn the same soup.”
“Is money a problem? Nigeria is a rich country. Or is it that you do not want me here?”
“That is not the point, Michael. But think about it: the president is undertaking a cabinet shake-up tomorrow, September 24.”
“Yes, his sending us here means we are untouchable.”
“Really? Even Heads have been relieved of their governments while on foreign visits.”
“No, Michael, this president will not touch us. His sending us here is a vote of confidence.”
“Or perhaps it is just one way of signaling to the world that there is continuity and stability in Nigeria.”
“Perhaps, but it is also a vote of confidence.”
“I hope you are right, but I am worried. There seem to be too many uncomfortable coincidences.”
“Such as what?”
“First of all, I am going to be trapped here in the United States on national duty that I never planned for, and unable to take advantage of a week-long holiday I had looked forward to.”
“Holiday?”
“I have told you to pay attention, Michael. On Wednesday or Thursday, the President will announce his cabinet shake-up. By the following day, which will then be Thursday or Friday, the news will be the talk of the country. You and I may learn on BBC that we are merely former ministers.”
“That is not going to happen, Ojo. The party chairman and Senate President promised me.”
“By that time, the long-awaited holiday would have kicked in. Following the weekend of September 27 & 28, Nigeria will have Muslim holidays on the 29th and 30th, and National Day holiday on October 1st. Which means that if BBC has bad news for us by the end of this week, none of us will be able to find any Nigerian of substance to talk to for nearly a week!”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes!”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes, Michael. And the Supreme Court has now said it will on Thursday start hearing the electoral appeals against the President’s election. That is additional burden on the president. Nothing would be as bad as losing your job in a foreign land, only to return home and not be able to manoeuvre.”
“You are right. This is a strange time to be away from the country.”
“The Supreme Court situation is an additional reason why I would have preferred your remaining in Nigeria this week. I believe you would really have been able to do something there.”
“Like what, Ojo? You think I am a babalawo?”
“Oh come on, Michael, we know you. Are you telling me you could not have persuaded the Court to push the hearing forward by another week or two? Is it a coincidence that as soon as you left town, they penciled in this week? Surely, the justices took into consideration that all they had to do was get in some action this week. You know that irreparable damage could have been done by the time you return.”
“What do we do now? You think I should just take the jet and return to Abuja for consultations?”
“Well not this jet. You could ask for another one.”
“What will you be doing in my absence?”
“I will do what they do at the United Nations. I will listen to speeches. And one of our people will give me speeches which I will read.”
“Just like you did on Monday, Foreign Minister?”
“On Monday the High-Level meeting of the General Assembly was convened to discuss Africa’s development needs. What was I supposed to do? I was merely sitting in for the President.”
“What happens next Friday?”
“Michael, Friday is the High-level Event on the Millennium Development Goals. It is for world leaders to review their implementation so far and to announce specific plans and proposals to achieve the MDGs. Specific. This means that in the absence of the President, Nigeria ought to have been represented by the Vice-President. I do not know any specifics; do you?”
“Why don’t we both go back? We have already shown our faces here in New York. What are we really achieving?”
“No, we cannot do that.”
“Suddenly, Ojo, it seems to me that you are the one without focus. Don’t you think we are rather lack-lustre appearance? The High-Level Event on the MDGs you are attending has, for instance, 13 pages of partnership events taking place throughout this week. Have you noticed that Nigeria is not mentioned even once? Thirteen pages of events! We are not involved in organizing any of the events, nor are we a participant in any, unless you count where it says, “Governments.” That means, “All of you.”
“Michael, it is a national assignment.”
“True, but to be honest, it is not just the 63rd General Assembly. I have been to the official website of the Permanent Mission of Nigeria here in New York at www.un.int/nigeria. It is amazing that there is nothing current, informative or inspiring. It is almost as if we are not at the UN; any links on the site that are not dead or promising to wake up later contain materials from two or three years ago. The current Permanent Representative is not mentioned even once. I am not sure this lukewarm presence in New York will ever win us a seat on the Security Council. In fact, our last contribution in the Security Council is dated 26 January 2006.”
“Michael, we will become a member of the Security Council because we are the giant of Africa. It is not a website that will make us achieve our destiny.”
“Destiny? How do the people of the world and Nigerians who want to know, learn about our work at the United Nations?”
“The same way Nigerians all over the world and the international community learn about our respect of the rule of law.”
“What are you suggesting, Ojo?”
“Nothing. I am simply saying that we have come to New York to let people know that all is well with Nigeria, and that the biggest black nation on earth will not be ignored. To remind all and sundry that one Nigerian attacked anywhere in the world is an attack on all of Nigeria. When I speak to the General Assembly, I will tell them we will meet the MDGs. We are Africa’s most powerful country and our claim to a permanent seat on the Security Council should not be questioned. And you know what, Michael?”
“What?”
“I do not think you should call the President or travel back to Abuja. I want you to address the international press and speak at every conceivable meeting over the next few weeks.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“You mean you do not know why you are here? Stress our adherence to the rule of law. Tell them we have fought corruption to a standstill. Tell them there is no an iota of corruption in our government. Tell them nobody has been able to prove that any former governor that was accused of looting actually took a penny, and that the current government has abolished all traces of corruption in the country. We are the new destination for foreign investment.”
“What about 419, Ojo? We are in America, remember? This is the ground-zero of 419.”
“41-What? You are a lawyer, Michael. Tell them 419 is a ridiculous, malicious rumour! Do you know what a 419-letter looks like? Of course not! Tell them it is a grand international plan calculated to slow Nigeria down!”
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Last Updated ( Wednesday, 24 September 2008 ) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
Services : E-mail news | 
RSS Feeds | Podcasts
Links: About the NVS | Contact Us | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies | Advertise With Us
All Rights Reserved. NigeriaVillageSquare.com
Posted by Robot| 23.09.2008 20:26