BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST
Sonala Olumhense

Mrs. Olubunmi Etteh, Speaker of the House of Representatives, is in tears.  She does not sleep at night.  Afraid of what the morning may bring, she must drive the streets of the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP) in search of a solution to her predicament.  She is desperate to remain “Madam Speaker.”   

Before I comment on Mrs. Etteh, let me state my qualification for this task, apart from the fact that I am a Nigerian, with full speaking rights.  I have always encouraged the Nigerian woman to take politics seriously, and aspire to power. 

On February 11, last year, in an article titled “Sleeping Beauty, Now Snoring,” I challenged her to wake up.  “In the major political parties, the Nigerian woman is not a factor, and she raises her voice neither in outrage nor to demand the microphone.  Party big-wigs speak as though they are a one-gender gang.  Small surprise then—isn’t it—that in none of these parties was a woman remotely thought of as leadership material.     

“Nearly 50 years of independence, and our top female political figure will again be the First Lady.  As usual, she will make a complete mess of it because, rather than engage and encourage her husband to serve with honesty and vigour, she will set herself up as President of the Governors’ Wives, or administer a “charity”.  Nearly 50 years later, the Nigerian woman is still timidly serving tea and coffee in the public sphere, lying in the political bed just as she has made it.  She is waiting for Master to come home.  When he barks, she will say, dutifully, weakly, “Yes sah!”’

That article was followed on August 27 by an appeal, in: “How to Offend the Nigerian Woman.”  In a brief analysis of Nigeria, I said, “I know sister, I know you wonder why I am telling you all this. It is because I am holding you responsible. No, I do not hold you responsible for creating the mess. Not all of it anyway, but I must hold you responsible for permitting it to continue. In your loving hands, daughter of the land flowing with promises, lie the power to grab this situation and twist its stubborn neck in the right direction. 
 
“Yes, I know you are busy. You have children, perhaps many of them. You run the home and perhaps hold down even a job. You look after the aged parents. You are educated, but are probably working hard to take another degree or certificate. Maybe you run the family business, as Oga is usually away at important official engagements or political party business. Oga is probably the one with access to your important documents, including your certificates and the family's voters' cards. Yes, you have a lot on your hands, and I congratulate you. 
 
“Yet, that is exactly why I charge you with even greater responsibility for the future…And unless you do something, lady, the same bloodthirsty leeches and their heirs will move into position. They have made you cry before. They will make your children and their children cry. The great American poet, Margaret Walker, perhaps put it best. To paraphrase her, let a new race of women rise and take control.” 

It is against this background, and my consistent commendation of President Olusegun Obasanjo for appointing so many women to top federal offices, that I was delighted when Mrs. Etteh became the Speaker of the House three months ago. 

Three months.  I do not understand it.   

In only three months, the former beautician has acquired the kind of notoriety that is unprecedented, even in Nigeria.  Upon assuming office, she seems to have decided it was her turn to serve herself.  To begin, to the United States she went in a lavish celebration of her birthday.   

Criticism of that had not run its course when it emerged she and Deputy Speaker Babangida Nguroje were salivating over the prospects of living in official quarters to be renovated with a princely contract of N628 million, including 12 new cars.  Their offices already possessed a legion of cars.  N628 million, in a nation that is so desperately poor school age children hawk bagged water for a living.   

You know that something is seriously out of place when even the PDP begins to distance itself from you.   This is a political party that, for eight years, found no mess so putrid it could not feast on top of it.  A party that, for eight years, found no malfeasance too reprehensible to manipulate because it could claim it was a family issue.   

I am not saying it cannot do it again.  With Mrs. Etteh making the late-night rounds in order to save her job, the heavily-PDP House of Representatives has now appointed a nine-man panel, allegedly to probe  the allegations of corruption against her.   

I am happy about the probe, which begins tomorrow.  But it is difficult to be hopeful.  There is little in the history of the National Assembly to make a Nigerian hopeful that we are not being primed for another cover-up.  There is nothing in the history of the PDP to show it is committed to Nigeria. 

I do not understand it: They are talking about saving Mrs. Etteh’s job, not about their obligation to the Nigerian voter.  As always, few are interested in right-and-wrong, or in the character of the Lower House.  Here is a legislator that, even before she has presided over her first reading of a bill, has thrown Nigeria into two dirty controversies.  Her achievement so far is that she has demonstrated beyond a sliver of doubt that her first—if not only—concern, is herself.   

And the PDP hopes to re-engineer her into a celebrated servant of the people?  They could change her clothes, but what of her heart, and what does a cover-up reiterate about the party?   

This beautician does not need another layer of make-up.  She needs surgery.  She is an embarrassment to the federal legislature and the Nigerian people.  There is no contract re-valuation or image-making that can invest Mrs. Etteh with the credibility the Speaker of the House needs.    

But the PDP can make things up, of course.  Anything.   

The party that says it is fighting corruption has effectively ensured that the fight has a reputation.   Tokenism seems to be the name of the game.  See how many of its members in positions of power have declared their assets.  David Mark, who serves as President of the Senate but has been followed around by terrible allegations of corruption, continues to ignore them.  “Madam Speaker,” Mrs. Etteh, has not declared her assets either, but we know her already.   

And what has this party that is “fighting corruption” done with the ex-governors’ file?  It should tell us.  First, only a few of them have even had to alter their schedules a little bit on account of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission since they left office.  And now, some of them have vanished into foreign climes.  Curiously, their passports are said to have been deposited with the Commission.   

As the Speaker of the House takes centre-stage, it is clear that the present battle is about the soul of the PDP.  Hopefully, President Umaru Yar’Adua understands that.  If he does not, even he will be swallowed by it.  In the water, the sharks will come for the freshest meat first: his. 

• sonala.olumhense@gmail.com

Robot  Villager

# 1 Mrs. Olubunmi Etteh, Speaker of the House of Representatives, is in tears. She does not sl...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 09.09.2007 00:21

akuluouno  Villager

# 2 I think Sonala has tried to apotheosise the women folk in Nigeria unaware of Descartes warning that u cannot jump into the river and come out dry as well as the cliche that what a man can do blah blah blah. I have never been a fan of fanta-stic Etteh but on second thoughts , I have come to beleive that she may not be alone in that gargantuan fraud. I believe that she was just the arrowhead or a mere scapegoat given the level of greed and crass tendency to steal public funds among her hon colleagues. What pains the more is that in a globalised world, the whole world is watching the theatre of absurd playing itself out in Nigeria especially the lack of contrition being exhibited by the accused and the bene we we kind of solidarity being shown to her by some of her colleagues which seemed to suggest that they are all united in using close to a billion Naira in furnishing the houses of two persons and buying aofficial cars for them.:mad::mad::mad: Posted by akuluouno| 09.09.2007 06:12