These days, if I happen to be in the market for a job, there are all sorts of things I look for. For example, I'd like to work in a place that offers challenging work; I'd like to work with smart people; I want to know that I'll be paid above minimum wage... but most important of all, I want to know that I will not have to wear around my neck the patterned noose that people call a tie.

You see, I absolutely hate ties. My idea of good clothing is that it should preserve your modesty, it should be protect you from the elements and most of all, it should be comfortable. (Some people might add that it should be stylish; I will leave that out, as stylishness is definitely in the eye of the beholder.) As far as I am concerned, a tie fails on every one of those criteria. In addition, I hate it that I waste irrecoverable minutes of my life knotting a tie every time I have to dress up formally. I hate it that the tie cannot even keep still but continues to dangle all over the place as I move along. And I truly, truly hate it that the tie suffocates me when I am wearing it.

I'm pretty sure that many other people see the tie as much of an object of hate as I do. After all, have you ever come across anyone who wears his tie to bed? Increasingly, this resentment towards the tie is beginning to show up in Western countries. More and more people are coming to recognise that they can go tie-less with a shirt and jacket without the world coming to an end. But ironically, the most die-hard adherents to tie-wearing can still be found in places like Nigeria, where not only is the tie not part of any indigenous culture but is the equivalent of having a millstone round the neck in Nigeria's extremely hot and humid weather.

"But the tie is part of the de-facto uniform of the international professional world", some will exclaim. "It is sacrilege to suggest that we do without this essential component of fashion. We certainly need to wear it so that we can show the world that we too are corporate".

Nonsense. First of all, as I said before, fewer people in the West itself are wearing ties. Why must we continue to stick to yesterday's fashions when other people are moving on? And even if the tie was still de rigeur in international circles, what is wrong with asserting our own identity and wearing a comfortable version of formal attire in our own various cultures?

"But men's formal international attire is generally very dull", some will again exclaim. "Typically you will find men wearing a light coloured shirt, a dark jacket and a dark suit - very boring. Ties are the only opportunity that men can have to express their inner sense of colour".

Again I say nonsense. Who writes these rules that say that men should wear dark suits and light shirts? What is stopping a man from wearing a red jacket, orange shirt, and a green and pink striped pair of trousers if he wants to fully express his colourful side?

I just think that Nigerians like suffering needlessly. Even during my tie-wearing days, I used to compromise by trying not to pull the tie knot all the way to the neck, and as soon as I was sure that nobody cared whether I was wearing it or not - whoosh - off it would come. But people I have observed wearing ties in Nigeria insist on pulling the knot all the way up to the neck even the sun is beating down mercilessly on them. Maybe this is because Nigerians believe that other Nigerians are impressed by the corporate look, so they never miss an opportunity to show how corporate they are. So perhaps while a man may almost be asphyxiated by his tie, he thinks of it in the same way that a woman thinks of the aching feet of high heels - as a pain worth bearing.

But whatever masochistic thought processes may be going on in the head of the corporate Nigerian, ties remain barred from within a hundred metres of my wardrobe. I have come to cherish the free flow of air round my neck, and I have no desire at all to return to the days when I felt permanently strangulated from having to wear a tie, even hours after removing it.

Long Live Unrestricted Carotid Arteries! Long Live Fully Expanded Windpipes! Down with The Coloured Cord of Contraction!

Shoko Loko Bangoshe (3 Years, 2 months and 17 days of Tie-Free Living)

Robot  Villager

# 1 These days, if I happen to be in the market for a job, there are all sorts of things I look for. ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 15.10.2007 16:53

Dimaanu  Villager

# 2 Field Marshall Shoko, After reading this article, I was amused that you are complaining about just one item of clothing...the tie.:D Please don't get me started on the "suffering" that women endure everyday all in the name of fashion. Where I wan start sef?...the pantyhose( you have to be careful while wearing it so as not to have a "run") *The bra...you would still wear one even if your "factories" are still standing like Mt.Kilimanjaro or ...... *The girdles (for those that need it). Can you imagine being wrapped like a parcel all day and still managing to smile? *The hair dryer........ (glorified oven) Should I go on?:biggrin:.......Try holding in your abdominal muscles while still breathing normally. (for that much needed figure 8 :rolleyes:) Unwritten rules, all of them. Bravo Shoko!.... Away with the tie! Posted by Dimaanu| 15.10.2007 18:52

Auspicious  Villager

# 3 Interesting depature from what we normally read here on NVS, Shoko. Neck-ties, eh? Oh, by the way, Dimaanu, you left out G-Strings or whatevathe(bleep) they call it. I heard it..that it...(anyhow, y'all know what y'all say it does to y'all). The other day, I saw a picture of a guy standing next to IG Mike Okiro. From the picture, I could tell it was in the blazing zun - with a 'z' as oppsed to an 's'. Even Brother Mike was sweating - profusely, as our well-colonized Nigerian brothers and sisters would say. Well, Brother Mike at least had his open-neck, light-blue police uniform on. But it wasn't him who is the issue here - it was the bald brother with thick shades (sunglasses) and black suit and navy-blue shirt and red-neck tie who caught my attention. I saw this guy's photo and I started feeling his discomfort for him - on his behalf I mean. Well, I am assuming he was uncomfortable but his face was too hard for me to tell if he was or not. The Bobo was bonning meen - bonning hard. His tie was tied so tight, it seemed his head would explode from the choking it delivered to his neck. And along his shirt neck-line was a map of where the sweat has gradually begun to soak its way in - all thanks to the heat. But his face was too hard. It was difficult to tell if he was uncomfortable. Still, as I stared at him, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable on his behalf. And suddenly, that Fela song wafted into my Medulla: "I nor be Gentlemannn..I nor be Gentleman, at all...I nor be Gentleman at all O!" Chorus: "I be Africaman, Original!" Is ga ju! :lol: Auspicious. Posted by Auspicious| 15.10.2007 22:06

Mikhail  Villager

# 4 I think Shoko is in great company with the below: (From wikipedia) "An extreme example of anti-necktie sentiment is found in Iran, whose theocratic rulers have denounced the accessory as a decadent, un-Islamic symbol of Western oppression. In the late 1970s (at the time of the Islamic Revolution) members of the US press even metonymized Iran's hardliners as turbans and its moderates as neckties. To date, most Iranian men have retained the Western-style long-sleeved collared shirt and three-piece suit, while excluding the necktie." Posted by Mikhail| 16.10.2007 01:12

Auspicious  Villager

# 5 Ah, Mikhail.. That explains Ahmadinejads style..! Auspy. Posted by Auspicious| 16.10.2007 01:21

Ani  Villager

# 6 ...And i thought i was the only one that looked out for a job without ties. At the early stage of my career, (about 7 years ago) it was really exasperating to have to wear the tie every working day of the week..then came along the job that didn't care if i wear shorts to work and i have been loving every minute of it. For the women folks.....God dey Posted by Ani| 16.10.2007 02:44

Shoko Loko Bangoshe  Villager

# 7 =Dimaanu;209178502>Field Marshall Shoko, After reading this article, I was amused that you are complaining about just one item of clothing...the tie.:D Please don't get me started on the "suffering" that women endure everyday all in the name of fashion. Where I wan start sef?...the pantyhose( you have to be careful while wearing it so as not to have a "run") *The bra...you would still wear one even if your "factories" are still standing like Mt.Kilimanjaro or ...... *The girdles (for those that need it). Can you imagine being wrapped like a parcel all day and still managing to smile? *The hair dryer........ (glorified oven) Should I go on?:biggrin:.......Try holding in your abdominal muscles while still breathing normally. (for that much needed figure 8 :rolleyes:) Unwritten rules, all of them. Bravo Shoko!.... Away with the tie! Dimaanu, As you can see, our army is large and growing. The tie is just the first step. This battle shall be fought in phases. Next will come the shirt, the jacket and the trouser. But wait - don't send this post to the Dumpster yet. I am not proposing that we walk about immodestly, attired only in our underpants. Instead, I am proposing that all these articles of clothing be replaced by a free flowing toga which will provide maximum freedom and comfort. So join us. Ditch the bra, girdle and pantyhose. Let it all hang out, free as it was meant to be, under the privacy of the toga. Posted by Shoko Loko Bangoshe| 16.10.2007 06:13

Oru-Ama  Villager

# 8 These item of clothings can be set aside you know? It will surely be a sight to behold! I bet the dangling one will be worst. Where any of you still in Nigeria some years back when a particular tribe was discovered? Both their men and women never knew what clothings were! I recently got an email titled WHY WOMEN RUN AWAY FROM THIS TRIBE When I opened that mail, I had cause to stop for a moment to thank God for creating avenue for humans to cover their nakedness. If you feel tie, tong, bra, etc is a burden, set them aside just for one day and come out the way you were the day you were born and let's see if the next place you will find yourself will not be in a psychiatrist hospital:D Posted by Oru-Ama| 16.10.2007 07:22

Bunch17  Villager

# 9 Shoko, I have been tireless for over 9 years except for perhaps once every 3 months and I hate every time I have to wear it. I often have to take it off at the earliest opportunity with the result that a lot of my ties are either in my bag or in the boot of my car. While in the west the trend in the Medical field is to dress down, back home it is to dress up. A few years ago, I visited my Alma mata and in all the gatherings I got myself into, I was the only one that was tieless. Another time, my brother in-law visiting from Nigeria could not believe that I was going to work without a tie. On the other articles of clothing, I am not quite sure that man is ready to go tubeless yet. Posted by Bunch17| 16.10.2007 07:39

surulere007  Villager

# 10 Now we can see why OBJ & UMYA chose a tie-free clothing. Its time to promote our cultural clothing across the board to international status. Posted by surulere007| 16.10.2007 08:26

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