“For the believer there can be no questions; for the nonbeliever there can be no answers” (Rabbi Menachem Mendel).

Friends and group members recently lost loved-ones. Commiserating with them became awkward since I don’t pray or call on a supposed higher power. All cultures and religion have prayers and poems and requiems that accompany such moments. With that in mind, how do one console the bereaved without, in one form or another, mention God? You wish the bereaved “God’s grace” and “God’s love,” and then ask God to “grant you the fortitude to bear this irreparable lose.” “God” also comes into the conversation as in when people say “God Bless You!” I have generally greeted such supplication with silence or, I’d say something like “Thanks!” or “you, too.” I can never ever bring myself, even if in a perfunctory matter, to mentioning God or to pray. I can’t do. I won’t do it.

I wasn’t always an atheist or an agnostic. Nevertheless, I cannot tell, with any degree of certainty when I first began to pull away from the norm or when I began to close my eyes and my heart and my senses to religion and to spirituality and to any notion of an omnipotent and omnipresent being. Frankly, I am not sure whether I am an agnostic or an atheist. I vacillate between the two. I have no way of knowing or proving there is a supreme being; I have no way of proving there isn’t one. Either way, it doesn’t really matter to me since religion or spirituality has no place in my life.

I am not searching for some great answers; I am not in quest of a big mystery, some great unknown. I formally abandoned the Church in 1989 and have only stepped into one on three occasions. My best friend cajoled me into attending service on two consecutive Sundays in 1993 (in Lagos ); on another occasion, I waited in a Church foyer until a friend’s children completed their baptism rituals (in Norman , Oklahoma ), in 2004. Otherwise, going to Church on Sunday or on any other day is the last thing on my mind, praying to a deity or to any other supernatural being doesn’t occur to me.  There is a common saying: “there are no atheists in foxholes, well, I have been in many foxholes and haven’t flinched.

To save myself a whole lot of headache, I could lie; I could put on a show like so many people do -- people who claim to be Christians, who claim to be sons and daughters of God. Beyond that I could put up an act and say I am a born again. I could be like some people I know who preach fire and brimstone, shouting their lungs off -- claiming to have a direct line to God. I could claim this and that and everything in between. I could claim to have the ability to make the hearing and visually impaired hear and see again. In Christendom, as with other religion, one could claim the unclaimables. But very few indignities compare to the indignity I sometimes suffer in the hands of some fanatics.

First, I always get the evil-look when I tell gatherings that I don’t pray and don’t want to join them in their prayer sessions. In such moments, it is not unusual for someone to say “If you don’t want prayers, do you want curses and evil spells…if you are not serving God, you must be serving juju.” Indeed, not a few have asked what type of god I serve. One such person showed up in my one-bedroom apartment, looked around and quipped: “You no dey go Church…you no be Christian and you no be Muslim…I fear you oo” The belief is that if I am not a Christian or a Muslim, then, I must be “something.” What that “something” is beats me. I get a kick out of people’s misplaced suspicion. I pity them.

And secondly, some people don’t know how to relate to me. They act and speak as though my irreligiosity is some kind of communicable disease, something and somebody to avoid at all cost. It is as though my irreligiosity negatively defines who I am, shapes my worldview, and impact my sense of right and wrong, my humanity, my benevolence and my essence. It is as if without faith, I am nothing. Foolishly, some tell me I will burn in hell unless I change my ways and accept Jesus Christ (and then going as far as quoting John 3:16 to me). Nigerians, that is.

I sometimes wonder if Nigerians didn’t “invent” religion, especially Christianity. On the exterior, they are more Catholic than the Pope, more pious than Vatican Saints. Mario Azevedo it was who said, “Throughout the centuries, religion has played a crucial role in the destiny of man. It has shaped his outlook of the universe, provided an explanation of his existence, and impacted his political, social, and economic behavior…brought harmony, strengthened the bonds of brotherhood among peoples of the world…it has likewise caused untold suffering…” In Nigeria and amongst Nigerians, religion has been a source of suffering and disillusionment for most. It has made a sizeable number of Nigerians fatalistic and indolent.

For unknown reasons, the more I study religion, the farther I get from it; the more learned I get, the greater the distance between spirituality and my daily life. Education seem to have allowed me to decide for myself “whether there is a God in heaven or not. To ask questions of the universe, and then learn to live with those questions.” I do not know whether God-seekers will ever find or know him now or in the future, I do not know whether a day will ever come when humans will “come before God and account for their deeds on earth,” and I certainly do not know if paradise awaits anyone. No one knows with any measure of certainty if there is a God. All they can do is guess, or hope there is one. Others go beyond guessing, they believe; they worship and praise and bow before him. As for me, I do not know and do not want to know.

Another cost to my irreligiousness is finding a suitable and marriageable African woman. Put another way, after all these years, I am yet to meet an African woman who is an agnostic or atheist or who is comfortable with one. No matter how Americanized or westernized, they seem to hold dear to their religious faith. Without any type of empirical backing, African women seem to be more religious compared to their male counterparts. In Churches at least, they are usually the first to arrive and the last to leave. Except for the inner sanctum, they seem to be in charge of everything -- including nurturing the young and the newcomers. Women take matters of faith and spirituality very seriously. And that probably accounts for why snow will rain on Lagos before an African woman agrees to marry an atheist or an agnostic like me.

Nothing else seems to matter -- smartness that borders on brilliance, versatility, kindness and generosity of the heart, great culinary skills, fine lineage, great sense of ethics and morality, etc -- and even if they matter, they seem pale in comparison to the religious and spiritual requirement of African women. In a way, that is good. It is good because it allows one to cross all racial boundaries.

Sabidde@yahoo.com

Robot  Villager

# 1 ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 13.05.2008 20:02

Agidimolaja  Villager

# 2 I'm not exactly like you, O Sabella,for I have not stopped to agree that there is God or at least a Supreme being. My opinion is that God did not fully reveal Himself to us and He did not say a lot of what we were told that He said. Why He is so silent in the face of several attrocities on His planet and why he stayed away with no any kind of manifestations or revelations may be part of reasons why certain people doubted His existence. But each time I observes nature,I see God's hand behind those wonders.The ocean waves,the flowing rivers,the stars,sun and moon as they are suspended far above the world so high still tells me there is someone greater. I'm a good christian whenever christianity is not pushed too far,yet I have doubts about certain things and have also questioned a lot of things I once accepted and practiced. I now practice what could be called Liberation Theology which is why I no longer attends any kind of church except if certain circumstances compelled me to go therein. The church stinks to me like Irish pig.Professing christians annoy me so much especially those of the Penticostal sect. Muslims and their so called Islam is by far the worst. Islam is very irritating and barbaric.Their Koran is exactly what Salman Rushdie called it - Satanic Verses Posted by Agidimolaja| 14.05.2008 02:53

Chekereke  Villager

# 3 =Agidimolaja;4295017442>I'm not exactly like you, O Sabella, I now practice what could be called Liberation Theology which is why I no longer attends any kind of church except if certain circumstances compelled me to go therein. The church stinks to me like Irish pig.Professing christians annoy me so much especially those of the Penticostal sect. Muslims and their so called Islam is by far the worst. Islam is very irritating and barbaric.Their Koran is exactly what Salman Rushdie called it - Satanic Verses My Bros, for someone who practices "Liberation theology", you are really very liberated! You have written off Christians and cancelled Muslims, I wonder about your views of Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, traditionalists and all the esoteric religions. I know there is God. I know we as mortals can never understand him. I think we attribute him with characters he does not posses (eg. all knowing - if he knows everything, then it means we don’t have a choice to make since he already knows what we are going to choose!). I believe that all religions (Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Eckankar, traditional religion, etc) ultimately lead to the Supreme one. It all depends on how the devotees practice their religion! I've met good and bad Christians, Muslims, etc but that should never be a reason for one to write off any religion! Dee Sabella is entitled to his be beliefs, just like everyone else. Nobody should be attacked or ridiculed just because of his religious inclinations (or none), however, for us the masses, Karl Marx's words still stand true - religion is our opium! Posted by Chekereke| 14.05.2008 05:26

Khalil  Villager

# 4 =Chekereke;4295017469> I've met good and bad Christians, Muslims, etc but that should never be a reason for one to write off any religion! Especially when the ones doing it do not really know enough about life, humanity and the reality that justifies practices of anykind on the planet earth! Khalilurrahman Posted by Khalil| 14.05.2008 06:37

Lebaney  JJC

# 5 Originally Posted by Agidimolaja I'm not exactly like you, O Sabella, I now practice what could be called Liberation Theology which is why I no longer attends any kind of church except if certain circumstances compelled me to go therein. The church stinks to me like Irish pig.Professing christians annoy me so much especially those of the Penticostal sect. Muslims and their so called Islam is by far the worst. Islam is very irritating and barbaric.Their Koran is exactly what Salman Rushdie called it - Satanic Verses Its quite unfortunate when you read things like this from supposedly learned people, there is no compulsion in religion said the good book. I only hope that you can think first before casting aspersion over others belief, way of life etc. Muslims are not the worst people in the world and for all you can say the Qur'an is not a satanic verse or whatever you call it, i only pray to the Good Lord to cure you of your ignorances, because the worst thing one can be in the midst of knowledge which is enlightening is to be a stark ignoramus. Posted by Lebaney| 14.05.2008 07:10

FoxCatcher  Villager

# 6 @Sabella Your article makes interesting reading. I respect your views without necessarily sharing them. I believe very strongly in God: His goodness; His power; His ....whatever. I could not rationally explain certain events in my subjective experience otherwise. However, I do not subscribe to the view that non belief makes one a devil; many atrocities are currently being carried out in His name today all over the world. I have met and still have good relationships grounded on mutual respect and regard with several self confessed (and secret) atheists and agnostics. Some are aggressive and quite abrasive in their convictions; but many are quite humane and rational. However, as you've brought your opinions to the public fora, I hope I can contribute intellectually to your article with the following story sent to me by a friend sometime ago. It does not prove my position, but it does raise interesting questions, I believe: "A Science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, 'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new stu dents to stand. 'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?' 'Yes sir,' the student says. 'So you believe in God?' 'Absolutely.' 'Is God good?' 'Sure! God's good.' 'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?' 'Yes.' 'Are you good or evil?' 'The Bible says I'm evil.' The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?' 'Yes sir, I would.' 'So you're good...!' 'I wouldn't say that.' 'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.' The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?' The student remains silent. 'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. 'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?' 'Er...yes,' the student says. 'Is Satan good?' The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.' 'Then where does Satan come from?' The student falters. 'From God' 'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?' 'Yes, sir.' 'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?' 'Yes.' 'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.' Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?' The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.' 'So who created them?' The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?' The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.' The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?' 'No sir. I've never seen Him.' 'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?' 'No, sir, I have not.' 'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?' 'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.' 'Yet you still believe in him?' 'Yes.' 'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?' 'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.' 'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.' The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?' 'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.' 'And is there such a thing as cold?' 'Yes, son, there's cold too.' 'No sir, there isn't.' The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.' 'Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.' Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer. 'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?' 'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?' 'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.' 'In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?' The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?' 'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.' The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?' 'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.' 'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.' 'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?' 'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.' 'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?' The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed. 'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?' The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.' The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter. 'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.' 'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?' Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.' 'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?' Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.' To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.' The professor sat down. " It requires faith to take any position on the existence or non existence of God. You have to believe or disbelieve something. Whatever you chose to believe or disbelieve may appear irrational to someone else. Regards Posted by FoxCatcher| 14.05.2008 07:26

Airblaze  Villager

# 7 = Dee Sabella is entitled to his be beliefs, just like everyone else. Nobody should be attacked or ridiculed just because of his religious inclinations (or none), however, for us the masses, Karl Marx's words still stand true - religion is our opium! Jamaican Grass is my Opium Arios Posted by Airblaze| 14.05.2008 07:31

ILN TOO  Villager

# 8 =Lebaney;4295017492>Originally Posted by Agidimolaja I'm not exactly like you, O Sabella, I now practice what could be called Liberation Theology which is why I no longer attends any kind of church except if certain circumstances compelled me to go therein. The church stinks to me like Irish pig.Professing christians annoy me so much especially those of the Penticostal sect. Muslims and their so called Islam is by far the worst. Islam is very irritating and barbaric.Their Koran is exactly what Salman Rushdie called it - Satanic Verses Its quite unfortunate when you read things like this from supposedly learned people, there is no compulsion in religion said the good book. I only hope that you can think first before casting aspersion over others belief, way of life etc. Muslims are not the worst people in the world and for all you can say the Qur'an is not a satanic verse or whatever you call it, i only pray to the Good Lord to cure you of your ignorances, because the worst thing one can be in the midst of knowledge which is enlightening is to be a stark ignoramus. @Lebaney, Stop wasting your time, my brother. I personally only respond to posts from (seemingly) educated people. I can't waste my time trying to reason with someone that does not know his a-r-s-e from some rusty hole in the ground. I am referring to Agidiwhatever. i highlighted the one thing that tells me quite a lot about his level of education. it is a total waste of time to start reasoning with that sort of blundering jackass. Posted by ILN TOO| 14.05.2008 12:38

Rapon92  Villager

# 9 I dont really agree with the whole religion thing myslef, but I too believe there is something bigger then us humans. you can call it God, Allah, buda or whatever you want. I think that "God" is within all of us. if we as humans can come together in harmony realising that we are all the same and the only thing that is different are the labels that we create for oursleves, then that is when we will truly see and understand "GOD" My Opinon Posted by Rapon92| 14.05.2008 14:22

toksyleigh  Villager

# 10 To save myself a whole lot of headache, I could lie; I could put on a show like so many people do -- people who claim to be Christians, who claim to be sons and daughters of God. Beyond that I could put up an act and say I am a born again. I could be like some people I know who preach fire and brimstone, shouting their lungs off -- claiming to have a direct line to God. I could claim this and that and everything in between. I could claim to have the ability to make the hearing and visually impaired hear and see again. In Christendom, as with other religion, one could claim the unclaimables. But very few indignities compare to the indignity I sometimes suffer in the hands of some fanatics. My Friend Sabbella, True words indeed my Friend True words indeed!! Can I attempt to offer why I think that you have drifted away from religion. I think it might be the fact we Nigerians and may I say black folks in general see religion as a status symbol here go " I am a Christian" I am born again" we think just because we dress in our Sunday's best and go to church every Sunday and then act like devils Monday to Saturday makes us Christians. Our characters in any way are not reflective of any Christian teachings or practices but our voice certainly sounds like that of the Angels. The black folks are the most blessed people on earth; yet we suffer the most, 99% of our problems are inflicted on us by the ones we trust most; yeah I feel you my brother. We have turned religion into money making scheme on the backs of our folks. I feel the same way too, but I am not too discouraged; you know why? Because I have personally experienced the blessing of the Lord God almighty in my life; so I know he exists. I just hope that some day you will experience that too. I am here to tell you today that that the Lord God Almighty gives the same weight and attention to the prayers coming the Pope, the Arch Bishop of Canterbury, the so called Pastor and the ones coming from you Sabella Ogbogode, as long as it is done with clean conscience mind; nobody has any special line to God ears; we all go through the same channel. No man pass man or woman for that matter. God help us all, Goriola Abamieda. Posted by toksyleigh| 14.05.2008 15:08

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