Yar'Adua, the G-8 and other matters

By Reuben Abati

"CONGRATULATIONS, they finally invited our man"

"Who is your man?"

"UMYA"

"Who is that?"

"President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua"

"So, who has invited him to what? And why the excitement"

"The G-8. President Yar'Adua as we speak is in Italy attending the G-8 meeting. Recognition at last! Halleluyah o. I think when the man comes, he is likely to throw a big party."

"I don't see what the big deal is all about. Is it the same G8 which is yet to keep its promises to the underdeveloped countries of Africa and which in the face of the facts is claiming that it has spent $13 billion to address the food crisis in the continent? But the truth is that the G-8 countries have reduced aid to Africa. We should be talking about the G-8 playing politics with its own promises."

"All I know is that President Yar'Adua who was so unhappy when Nigeria was not invited to the London Summit of the G-20 in April must be happy that now Nigeria's importance is being recognized."

"He has probably been invited there to give the impression that the people of the most populous country in Africa are grateful to the G-8 for providing aid towards solving the food crisis. And you know the Yar'Adua government has been talking about food. The Vaswani brothers were deported, or have you forgotten because of rice imports."

"I don't want to join you in reading motives."

"Everything is about signaling. The international community does not ever act in vain, and the G-8 will not act in vain."

"Suppose this is the G-8's way of begging Nigeria. Their own way of telling President Yar'Adua that Nigeria is still an important country in the reckoning of the rich countries of the world."

"Now, you are the one reading motives. But let me tell you that President Yar'Adua is attending the G-8 meeting as an observer. He is sitting in the gallery. So what are you excited about? "

"Well at least the G-8 did not invite Ghana. So, if Obama goes to Ghana, Yar'Adua goes to the G-8 meeting in Italy. Ko worse. Ko -o - o bad."

"What you don't know is that our people wanted Obama to stop over in Nigeria, if possible. If the Americans had agreed to spend just one hour in Abuja en route Ghana, our man will not have gone to Italy for the G-8 meeting to go and look. In fact, they would have given Obama a pretty maiden as an expression of Nigeria's gratitude and hospitality, it is called Presidential man-no-be-wood"

"Stop kidding. That will be child abuse. Child trafficking really. Completely antithetical to the spirit of the American Constitution. Besides, an American President cannot collect certain kinds of gifts. Michelle Obama will not even allow that."

"Go and sit down. Is Obama not a black man like you and me? Go and sit down. Let the man go to Ghana. What I am telling you is that our people in Abuja could have treated him to better hospitality."

"The man is not interested. The message of his trip to Ghana is to tell Nigerian leaders to start treating their own people nicely, by behaving well, by running good elections and by focusing on good governance."

"What I even hear is that President Yar'Adua may sneak into Ghana quietly on his way from Italy to have audience with President Obama in Ghana."

"He cannot do that."

"He is the President, you are not in a position to tell him what to do."

"But he cannot disgrace Nigeria further by going to have dinner with President Obama on Ghanaian soil, when we can prepare better food in Nigeria."

"If he goes to Ghana, it will not be reported. It will be top secret diplomacy."

"And if word gets out, I assure you that I will join anybody who is ready, to ask for his impeachment."

"Which impeachment?"

"It will amount to gross misconduct"

"Don't waste your time. One member of the House of Representatives is already going about saying that President Yar'Adua will be impeached because he has violated the provisions of Section 173 (3) of the 1999 Constitution relating to pension. And put your mind at rest. President Obama and President Yar'Adua were both together at the G-8 meeting in Italy. So, he doesn't have to go to Ghana to see Obama."

"Okay. Fine. But who is the lawmaker, you mentioned?"

"I don't remember his name. He was talking about how President Yar'Adua has no powers to stop the award of contracts or tamper with the Constitution"

"There is only one thing I need to know."

"What is that?"

"Is there any special festival around the corner? Like a religious festival or something like that"

"Soon it will be the Ramadan season"

"Ha ha. There you are. Some lawmakers are looking for patronage. My problem with some of these our lawmakers is that when they think they are hungry and they want to eat, they should just say so. Who does not know that in this country, a sitting President cannot be impeached? Who does not know that governance at the top is a family affair and that a President is bound to get an automatic second term ticket?"

"Obasanjo almost got a third term. Thank God we cried out."

"The president of Niger, 71-year old Mamadou Tandja is trying to do what Obasanjo could not do. He must have learnt what he is doing now from Nigerians. The man has dissolved the Constitutional Court and he is ruling with an Emergency Decree. He wants a third term. As for Yar'Adua, where were you when some PDP elements started saying that UMYA already has a second term except he decides that he has had enough."

"Don't quote me o."

"Amebo"

"Even as we speak now, I hear some state Governors and their wives and commissioners have travelled to the United States to attend Michael Jackson's funeral."

"You mean our husband has gone mad again?"

"You know, oftentimes, I wonder what is wrong with Nigerian leaders"

"Are you sure some people have travelled to the US to attend Michael Jackson's funeral?"

"On my honour as a Christian."

"Please leave that. You know it is me. Talk to me. You know that I know, and that I know what I know."

"What do you know?"

"What I know, and you know that I know"

"I don't know what you know. What do you know?"

"Nothing"

"Okay, I can tell you that some Nigerian lawmakers and at least two Governors were sighted at the Michael Jackson memorial, this week. You mean you also don't know that some people had a farewell party for MJ in Lagos? I mean, for real."

"May be the people who attended the Jackson memorial went to the US for a different reason. For medical check up perhaps."

"Medical check up? Well, I thank God that that would soon end. According to the Minister of Health, no Nigerian will have cause to travel abroad for medical treatment again by 2010, because this government would have fixed at least four teaching hospitals, which can offer the best kind of treatment that is available anywhere in the world."

"You mean the minister of Health is seeing Vision 2010 when the Federal Government is talking about Vision 2020?"

"I understand that the teaching hospitals will be fixed as a matter of priority."

"Incidentally, Health is not one of the seven-point agenda"

"I don't believe that."

"Go and check""

"Unbelivebale. You would have thought that President Yar'Adua will focus on the health sector"

"I also thought that former President Olusegun Obasanjo will do something about the state of Nigerian prisons. But for eight years, he did nothing concrete about the prisons."

"That is Nigeria for you. But let nobody tell me that by 2010, Nigerians won't have to go abroad again for medical treatment. Right now, workers at the National Hospital are on strike. And all the teaching hospitals that the minister wants to upgrade, these are the same hospitals that previous Ministers of Health offered to upgrade and in fact did. At least on paper. What happened to those hospitals? I can tell you that workers in all Federal Hospitals are currently on strike. What should be done is to first of all conduct an audit of all the funds spent so far on the same hospitals. Who got what? Who spent what?"

"You are even going too far. The thing is that the teaching hospitals are not budgeted for in the 2009 budget. And Nigeria's major health crisis is not at the tertiary level, it is at the primary health level which has since failed."

"One of these days, I am going to stop thinking about this country."

"Em, we can't give up. When you are preaching to the deaf, you have to be a bit more creative. And you can't give up"

"You know, the Minister of Education was shown on TV two days ago, dancing joyously at a party organized for him by his friends."

"The minister of Education was dancing at his own birthday party? I don't get the point."

"I don't think this is the right time for the Minister of Education to attend parties where he will be tempted to dance."

"At his own birthday party?"

"He cannot dance when ASUU is on strike. Total strike. And all the unions in the universities are aggrieved. I think he should be told that he is banned from dancing in public until the crisis in the education sector is resolved. Until further notice."

"May be we should not deny the Hon. Minister his right to be happy."

"You mean the Minister is in a position to be happy when the education sector is prostrate?"

"Let the man dance if he wants to. Ha ha wetin? And are you sure he was the one dancing? Sometimes people look alike you know"'

"I am sure."

"And so?"

Robot  # 1 | 10.07.2009 07:03

Yar'Adua, the G-8 and other matters By Reuben Abati "CONGRATULATIONS, they finally invited our man" "Who is your man?" "UMYA" "Who is that?" "President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua" "So, who has invited him to what? And why the excitement" "The G-8. President Yar'Adua as we speak is in Italy attending the G-8 meeting. Recognition at last! Halleluyah o. I think when the man comes, he is likely to throw a big party." "I don't see what the big deal is all about. Is it the same G8 which is yet to keep its promises to the underdeveloped countries of Africa and which in the face of the facts is claiming that it has spent $13 billion to address the food crisis in the continent? But the truth is that the G-8 countries have reduced aid to Africa. We should be talking about the G-8 playing politics with its own p...Read the full article.

Big-K  # 2 | 10.07.2009 07:10

There was an old episode of papa ajasco where pa Jimoh was invited by a pretty woman to her house. He readily accepted, not knowing the woman's intention was to showcase poverty to her kids. Thats exactly what this G-8 invitation is. Nigeria and other poor countries are only being invited for photo-ops to show that the real G8 cares about poverty. Open your eyes Nigerians and stop celebrating mediocrity.

kalu31  # 3 | 10.07.2009 07:31

Big K, Papa Ajasco, man thats deep! but a great point. its just a photoOP finish. will UMYA come back with Power and good roads? will he come back with food? will he come back with a new INEC chairman? will he come back with money for ASUU, the Striking doctors, the striking Medical workers in NAFDAC? will he come back and arrest the Haliburton looters. abege make we hear word jooo

ajimoh  # 4 | 10.07.2009 07:39

=Big-K;370462>There was an old episode of papa ajasco where pa Jimoh was invited by a pretty woman to her house. He readily accepted, not knowing the woman's intention was to showcase poverty to her kids. Thats exactly what this G-8 invitation is. Nigeria and other poor countries are only being invited for photo-ops to show that the real G8 cares about poverty. Open your eyes Nigerians and stop celebrating mediocrity. Well said, sir. According to the London Metro of today, "The G8 leaders yesterday began talks with the 'emerging G5 nations - Brazil, China, India, Mexico and South Africa" - London Metro,at page 13 - . So Nigeria did not even make that list! Kai, wey Olusegun Adeniyi and Madam 're-brand Ibori and friends'? That papa ajasco simile is wicked, unfair and incomplete; you left out incompetence!

tse  # 5 | 10.07.2009 13:26

When i saw the heading identity crisis, i thought “finally someone is waking up to the fact that we need to revamp note the word not rebrand ourselves” but dr Reuben abati, did not want to talk about our identity, he wanted to talk about the entertainment/music industry. Before i go into all the rhetorics of the music industry, which dr abati doesn’t obviously understand, i’d like to talk some on the identity issue. I am one of the few people in my generation who had the privilege of understanding and loving what it means to be a Nigerian. I grew up with a mother who would send me to school but once i am out of school, i must read my alawiye, greet her in Yoruba converse with in the same. My father made sure we were grounded in not just being Yoruba but blacks that has been forced by the kind of relationship lord luggard and her mistress had to be what they have cooked up for us to be. At the end of every year he’d take me and my one sibling then to our home state and we would camp in places around the state, surviving on animals we could trap and ones he hunted,and fruits on trees it was absolutely beautiful. I thankfully did not grow up in a home where we were forced to speak English. My parents believed when you force a language on a child, you were forcing a culture on him, and telling him his is inferior to the other. Question, how well does our “golden fore-fathers” trained their children- us to respect and appreciate what the nation and continent can offer? Have not all of them become cnn and bbc buffs that they make us feel less ourselves for wanting to speak our local languages, they even called it vernacular, what degradation!!!! Professor fafunwa conducted the famous(i hope) ife six project where he was able to prove the power of language as it relates to expressing world views. The golden generation who continually look back to the good old times have forget that, what a Nigerian will call water leaf is what a british will call water cress leave. While we cook it for different “efo” dishes they blend it or eat it raw and with sandwich. Now does that make their water cress better than my water leaf? I don’t think so, it’s just that we see different uses for the leaf. Now if you want to talk about identity this and many more is what i’d be expecting not an expose on music, If i can even call it that. I’m sure your rendition of how Nigeria was named was to-i don’t know exalt romance? It only got me angry, for the sake of all and sundries sensibilities, i will not describe what was in my head when i read and imagined your “let’s name Nigeria” story. But at least you have told us somethings, (1) lord luggard wasn,t as smart as history made him look, (2) he is just another adulterous leader, which for a Briton is something to say... (3), his fair lady, had all the aces as she was good at what she was employed for. Good lecture doctor, good lecture. I am not going to dwell too much on the aliases Nigeria has, i’ll just ask a question: where is the big apple? On the Nigerian anthem, though i went to a military school and i still am very solemn when i hear the national anthem and if i am where i need to stand still i would, i also know that “the star spangled banner” has been sung in different from of genre. When are we going to be comfortable with our inherent personality as given us by God, and if you don’t believe in God, nature? When are we going to live our lives like we really are and not what lord luggard and his mistress designed. A quick one, why did mrs obama not think she was commiting a social faux paux when she hugged the queen of England? Her nature? She’s black? Comfortable in her skin? Now to my main dispute with the article. With due respect sir you know nothing about music. Period. Banky w, read your response and it was just apt. Couldn’t wait to read other so i wont form an opinion before i responded. A case in point, why wasn’t KSA’s-which i guess is his given name- sweet banana or pamurogodo not labelled as ntbb by nbc but 9ice’s own is banned? Why was sina peters songs not considered ntbbs? I love fela, grew up on his music and that of tunji oyelana and the benders-who my mum wondered what we liked the signature “huh-huh” or the lyrics or the music, and i am sure she is from your generation. I’d suggest you don’t condemn rap because you don’t understand it, i am not a rap buff but i appreciate music and as a media person you are to appreciate it, critic it if you must, but appreciate it you must. My vocation in life allows me interaction with these people then again my upbringing also allows me to understand the workings of a creative mind. Dear sir, your article just cut down maliciously, growing creative minds and that is so unfair!!!! Before his passing, we heard MJ doing collabos-yeah i went there sue me- with akon. When will we hear collabos between KSA and ROOFTOP-MCs, or banky w and chris okotie/dizzy k falola if they were still singing. It may not happen because YOU guys are determined to see us as never do wells and have no inclination whatsoever to pass on what you know. Challenge yourself sir what are you still doing in the mainstream of print, what is akinloye oyabanji still commentating for? Are there no younger people you can train to do these things? We are not saying you should retire we are saying let go of the reins of power let the young ones who you have all labelled as daft do it with your supervision, while you have a open mind to innovations. You do not listen to the music, as stated in you article, you hear them, cos if you listened, especially to lagimo you know. If the rap was too much for you, at least, cohbams sang and that was the climax of the song. Guys, we are up against a generation that will not live beyond theirs, and they are absolutely unaware of what we have to do to keep our head above water. We have to take the reins of our generation in our hands and be what we were created to be. Different does not mean better, every generation think they created sex, but it’s been the same all ages past. Dr. Reuben abati, we are still waiting on a well researched article on “A nation’s identity crisis” Thank you. Tunmise.

nijalaw  # 6 | 10.07.2009 14:33

=tse;370550>When i saw the heading identity crisis, i thought “finally someone is waking up to the fact that we need to revamp note the word not rebrand ourselves” but dr Reuben abati, did not want to talk about our identity, he wanted to talk about the entertainment/music industry. Before i go into all the rhetorics of the music industry, which dr abati doesn’t obviously understand, i’d like to talk some on the identity issue. I am one of the few people in my generation who had the privilege of understanding and loving what it means to be a Nigerian. I grew up with a mother who would send me to school but once i am out of school, i must read my alawiye, greet her in Yoruba converse with in the same. My father made sure we were grounded in not just being Yoruba but blacks that has been forced by the kind of relationship lord luggard and her mistress had to be what they have cooked up for us to be. At the end of every year he’d take me and my one sibling then to our home state and we would camp in places around the state, surviving on animals we could trap and ones he hunted,and fruits on trees it was absolutely beautiful. I thankfully did not grow up in a home where we were forced to speak English. My parents believed when you force a language on a child, you were forcing a culture on him, and telling him his is inferior to the other. Question, how well does our “golden fore-fathers” trained their children- us to respect and appreciate what the nation and continent can offer? Have not all of them become cnn and bbc buffs that they make us feel less ourselves for wanting to speak our local languages, they even called it vernacular, what degradation!!!! Professor fafunwa conducted the famous(i hope) ife six project where he was able to prove the power of language as it relates to expressing world views. The golden generation who continually look back to the good old times have forget that, what a Nigerian will call water leaf is what a british will call water cress leave. While we cook it for different “efo” dishes they blend it or eat it raw and with sandwich. Now does that make their water cress better than my water leaf? I don’t think so, it’s just that we see different uses for the leaf. Now if you want to talk about identity this and many more is what i’d be expecting not an expose on music, If i can even call it that. I’m sure your rendition of how Nigeria was named was to-i don’t know exalt romance? It only got me angry, for the sake of all and sundries sensibilities, i will not describe what was in my head when i read and imagined your “let’s name Nigeria” story. But at least you have told us somethings, (1) lord luggard wasn,t as smart as history made him look, (2) he is just another adulterous leader, which for a Briton is something to say... (3), his fair lady, had all the aces as she was good at what she was employed for. Good lecture doctor, good lecture. I am not going to dwell too much on the aliases Nigeria has, i’ll just ask a question: where is the big apple? On the Nigerian anthem, though i went to a military school and i still am very solemn when i hear the national anthem and if i am where i need to stand still i would, i also know that “the star spangled banner” has been sung in different from of genre. When are we going to be comfortable with our inherent personality as given us by God, and if you don’t believe in God, nature? When are we going to live our lives like we really are and not what lord luggard and his mistress designed. A quick one, why did mrs obama not think she was commiting a social faux paux when she hugged the queen of England? Her nature? She’s black? Comfortable in her skin? Now to my main dispute with the article. With due respect sir you know nothing about music. Period. Banky w, read your response and it was just apt. Couldn’t wait to read other so i wont form an opinion before i responded. A case in point, why wasn’t KSA’s-which i guess is his given name- sweet banana or pamurogodo not labelled as ntbb by nbc but 9ice’s own is banned? Why was sina peters songs not considered ntbbs? I love fela, grew up on his music and that of tunji oyelana and the benders-who my mum wondered what we liked the signature “huh-huh” or the lyrics or the music, and i am sure she is from your generation. I’d suggest you don’t condemn rap because you don’t understand it, i am not a rap buff but i appreciate music and as a media person you are to appreciate it, critic it if you must, but appreciate it you must. My vocation in life allows me interaction with these people then again my upbringing also allows me to understand the workings of a creative mind. Dear sir, your article just cut down maliciously, growing creative minds and that is so unfair!!!! Before his passing, we heard MJ doing collabos-yeah i went there sue me- with akon. When will we hear collabos between KSA and ROOFTOP-MCs, or banky w and chris okotie/dizzy k falola if they were still singing. It may not happen because YOU guys are determined to see us as never do wells and have no inclination whatsoever to pass on what you know. Challenge yourself sir what are you still doing in the mainstream of print, what is akinloye oyabanji still commentating for? Are there no younger people you can train to do these things? We are not saying you should retire we are saying let go of the reins of power let the young ones who you have all labelled as daft do it with your supervision, while you have a open mind to innovations. You do not listen to the music, as stated in you article, you hear them, cos if you listened, especially to lagimo you know. If the rap was too much for you, at least, cohbams sang and that was the climax of the song. Guys, we are up against a generation that will not live beyond theirs, and they are absolutely unaware of what we have to do to keep our head above water. We have to take the reins of our generation in our hands and be what we were created to be. Different does not mean better, every generation think they created sex, but it’s been the same all ages past. Dr. Reuben abati, we are still waiting on a well researched article on “A nation’s identity crisis” Thank you. Tunmise. tse tse fly or is dtse or tse w, I beg no vex as you be jjc, check page 3 or do a search for Abati's articles on the search link for the particular RA article you need to post this ya matter. It is in order & I like it but no be for dis particular thread.

shobams  # 7 | 10.07.2009 15:21

Big-K: I like your analogy, Obama already reiterated the fact that Africa has arable land; therefore, there shouldn't be a need for her citizens going hungry.

NWANZA  # 8 | 10.07.2009 17:12

=Robot;370460>Yar'Adua, the G-8 and other matters By Reuben Abati "CONGRATULATIONS, they finally invited our man" "Who is your man?" "UMYA" "Who is that?" "President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua" "So, who has invited him to what? And why the excitement" "The G-8. President Yar'Adua as we speak is in Italy attending the G-8 meeting. Recognition at last! Halleluyah o. I think when the man comes, he is likely to throw a big party." "I don't see what the big deal is all about. Is it the same G8 which is yet to keep its promises to the underdeveloped countries of Africa and which in the face of the facts is claiming that it has spent $13 billion to address the food crisis in the continent? But the truth is that the G-8 countries have reduced aid to Africa. Well, what do you expect them to do when their own people are jobless? African countries need to get their priorities straight, and take care of their people. We cannot continue to be stupid and ignorant forever. Obama need to do some straight talking to African leaders - sort of tell them to un-clinch the fist. They need a dose of honesty and reprimand for the way they have ruled the continent.

Danmeka  # 9 | 10.07.2009 18:01

=NWANZA;370621>Well, what do you expect them to do when their own people are jobless? African countries need to get their priorities straight, and take care of their people. We cannot continue to be stupid and ignorant forever. Obama need to do some straight talking to African leaders - sort of tell them to un-clinch the fist. They need a dose of honesty and reprimand for the way they have ruled the continent. He has during his speech at the G8 summit but will UMYA and his cronies listen.Strike,Strike Strike everywhere; Education in decay while Ugwu celebrating his birthday since his children can fly in for the celebration; Economy clueless; Infrastructures nothing to write home about; Ammnesty for crimmnals or freedom fighters, Niger Delta still in crises, Electoral reforms don get k leg;it tells you that Nigeria is a failed state.

olubadan  # 10 | 10.07.2009 18:39

It is rather pathetic that the seventh largest producer of Oil/gas in the world has to go about with bowl begging for alms…. Sometimes you cannot but wonder whether we are on a journey to nowhere….

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