10 Mar 2006 |
|
|
He is two years old. But he has managed to develop an awareness of his environment that continues to amaze me. He is my son, Samuel. One Sunday afternoon, we were on our way to an event, the entire bandwagon, with Samuel making as much noise as children of his age are wont to do. If he saw a motorcyclist, he would call out "Okada". I didn't like that. "Who is teaching this boy about okada?", I protested. "Okada", he repeated. "Shut up. It is motorcycle, not okada" "Okada", he said again. "You this blockhead. If you say okada again, I will give you a knock on the head. You and that your funny face." "Leave me alone", the small fellow retorted. "What's your problem with his face? He looks like you. So if you abuse him, you are abusing yourself" . This was his mother coming to his rescue. I kept quiet. I didn't want to get into any crossfire with mother and son. There are not too many fathers who can win an argument in such a situation. We continued with our trip. "Ba bibs. Ba bibs, ba bibs" , the same boy suddenly started intoning. "What is he saying?" , I had to inquire from his older siblings. "Mr Biggs", I was told, and my attention was drawn to the Mr Biggs logo which we were just driving past. By now, Samuel had become more desperate. "Mummy, Ba bis, ba bis" "Tell your daddy". "Ba bis, ba bis." He had started crying too. I was not in the mood for "Ba Bis" , so I had to pacify the young man. We would buy "Ba bis" on our way home, I tried to explain to him as gently as I could. That seemed to have worked. "This thing that this fast food people are doing is not good o", I protested. "They just target people's children and put parents under pressure. If a small boy like this already knows Mr Biggs, you can imagine what many parents are going through." "Is it only Mr Biggs. He knows Chicken Lovers. Tantalizers. All he needs to see is their logo and he would start shouting. I always take them out to those places." Again, I had no response to this. But the more remarkable experience was when we got to one of those makeshift police checkpoints. The policemen as usual waved their guns rather menacingly asking that the car should be parked. "Folice! Folice Folice!" my two-year old screamed. One policeman came around. The young man engaged him in a conversation. The policeman appeared genial also. "Folice, Folice", my boy said "Young man, how are you?" "Pine. Folice, bring your gun" "Stop that", I intervened. "Na young man. He jus dey play", the police man explained touching the boy's cheek. Samuel seemed to have liked that. He turned to me. " Daddy, gi me money, I giv police. Police wait you hear" . I pretended not to hear that. Of course, it was obvious that the policeman was waiting to be given some money. But here was a two-year old, pleading his case for him. "Daddy, giv police egunje. Police wait you hear. My daddy will give you money". I obliged. The policeman saluted us profusely and greeted his young friend. "Police pa pa pa pa, " Samuel chanted as we drove away. Where on earth did he get that word from: "egunje?" I found the brief encounter instructive. As Samuel grows older, he keeps doing and saying things that surprise me. His mother says it is television. But a two-year old and television? Each time the electricity people decide to misbehave, you could hear him almost immediately screaming: "NEBA, or Up NEBA". Is that television too? Generally, I have observed that those of us who are bringing up young children in today's Nigeria, have a really difficult task on our hands. Samuel is two years old; older children both mine and others have acquired a vocabulary and an understanding of the Nigerian society that is confounding. In other societies, children are shielded from the vagaries of survival. They are carefully nurtured and protected Children are the hope of tomorrow. They are in every sense the leaders of tomorrow.. In Nigeria, our children are the victims of our collective failings. These young persons who represent the future of our society are victims. We have children, and I am not making anything up, who at two years plus or more, already understand that a policeman is on the road to extort money from the public. They know that power outage is real because the Nigerian state does not function. They see corpses by the roadside and they would ask you whether the man was killed by an armed robber. They see violence on television and they tell you immediately that Hausa and Igbo are killing each other. You ask how they got the information, they tell you they heard it on television. A friend's son was marking his birthday not too long ago, and he had told his parents that he would love to take gifts to his classmates in school. His parents were glad that he has a small circle of friends. So, they bought drinks and gift items and sent to the school in the honest expectation that their son's class teacher will respect his and their wishes. The poor boy returned home on his birthday, sullen. What happened? His class teacher simply divided the gifts into two and kept the larger part in her car. The young boy's friends had to share a few bottles of soft drinks. So, this young man grows up believing that teachers are cheats. How is he expected to pay attention to what such a teacher says? If you give your child a fancy water bottle or a pair of nice looking ear-rings, don't be surprised if she comes home to tell you that a certain uncle or auntie robbed him or her. My eldest son when he was much younger once called one of such uncles, "a yeye man". The guy felt so hurt, he gave him a knock on the head. I also thought the boy was too disrespectful. I asked him to apologise. He sulked. When he got inside the car, he repeated the offence: "He is a yeye man", he insisted. Now, I thought I should give him the benefit of the doubt. "Why?", I asked. "He is always begging. Yesterday, he begged me to give him my biscuit. When I didn't give him, he took it from me." The young man was right. That uncle was truly "a complete yeye man". But I didn't like the idea of his using the word "yeye". Where on earth did he pick that up? Some neighbours once had a housemaid who spoke only pidgin. Before long, the children were also beginning to speak: "wetin you want? My mama e never come" . I had to decree that I must not hear that type of language again around me. Speak any language but definitely not pidgin! But this is what many young parents go through. The kids spend more time with housemaids, both yours and neighbours, and if you are unlucky, they would pick up all kinds of things. Occasionally, I attend children birthday parties. Have you attended one? Please try and do so. After a while, those party makers who wear funny clothes looking like harlequins would ask the children to come and dance. This is the section of those parties that I find disturbing. I guess many parents too are worried when they see the children on whom they paying lorry loads of Naira as school fees, suddenly twisting to all forms of music including that of Obesere and Daddy Showkey. The children not only dance, they know the lyrics too! And if you check the lyrics of contemporary music particularly "Hip Hop", you would be shocked by the content. When I try to educate children in the adolescent range, I am gently reminded that I am "a conservative old man!". When did I become an old man, please? The circumstances of young children growing up in today's Nigeria reflect the crisis that has overtaken our society. When you read the biographies of persons in the 70 plus age category, or you reflect as a middle-aged person on the period of your childhood, you are likely to feel sorry for this country. Teachers used to be sacred figures of influence. Not anymore. The priest or catechist was a living representative of God on earth and he was so revered. Today, anybody can set up a church, and claim to have been "called" by God and "anointed" by the Holy Spirit. Policemen and government officials generally used to inspire confidence; today, any form of access to government has become an opportunity for corrupt self-enrichment. We were brought up in homes and communities where every family looked out for the other one and every parent was the parent of all children. Today, we are bringing up our children inside "flats, duplexes and mansions" where we lock them up behind tall walls and advise them to be suspicious of all persons. They grow up believing that the world is a prison and that no man can be trusted. There are aspects of these changes that are perhaps useful. Today's children are more self-assertive. You can't lie to a child as our parents did in their attempt to mystify certain experiences. Today, you are required to explain everything and be truthful. Otherwise you could be told, "Daddy, it is a lie!" If a child said that in those days, a family meeting could be summoned and his mother would be asked to explain where she got him from! Most recently, one of my kids asked: "why does President Obasanjo want a third term?" Coming from a child, that was a bit difficult for me to handle. So I parried the question: "where did you get that from?" "I read it in the papers" came the prompt response and I was shown the previous day's newspaper which reported part of the third term shenanigans. Now, how do I tell a child that there is no difference between the teacher who stole birthday gifts and Obasanjo for third term campaigners? How do I explain to a child that politicians are also collecting "egunje" like the policemen on the roads? How do I explain to our leaders of tomorrow that many of "the big men" they see on television are no better than armed robbers? How do I tell a child that in this country called Nigeria, what operates, even at the highest levels, is the "Ba Bis" principle?
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
# 
# 
Your Comments
Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.