04 Nov 2005 |
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One of the sore points of the recent tragedy that befell the household of President Olusegun Obasanjo in the shape of the sudden death of his wife, Mrs Stella Obasanjo was a blistering, venomous and utterly acidic public statement by the inimitable Chief Gani Fawehinmi. In it, he seized upon the circumstances of the death of the First Lady, and the Bellview aircraft crash to attack the President. He personalised the issues and barely stopped short of calling Baba Iyabo, an irresponsible man who cannot control his own home but who is now pretending to control the whole of Nigeria. "Physician", Gani seemed to have been telling Obasanjo, "heal thyself!" Without any doubt, Chief Gani Fawehinmi is a patriot. There are many useful points in his diatribe especially when he focusses on Nigeria's terribly mismanaged health and aviation sectors and our lack of preparedness in the face of emergencies. But what I find strange is the Chief's decision to use Obasanjo' s moment of grief to hit him. In fact, Gani did not only hit the man; he ridiculed him. There is something in the public space that is about propriety and a sense of proportion. To hit a man when he is down is not a sign of courage but opportunism. It is unAfrican. In any culture at all, it would be considered cheap. I cannot pretend to draw Chief Fawehinmi's attention to age-old traditions about human conduct in the face of grief. He is an elderly man; he should know. To be sure, many of us are convinced that President Obasanjo has not done what he should for Nigeria. We keep saying so. He has not made good use of his six years in power. Oh yes. He also faces the real danger of being remembered as a lucky President who squandered his own opportunities. That is the truth. But to tie all that to his wife's death is not so much about the man himself but a disservice to the memory of the dead. Gani says, somewhat gleefully, "why did our Head of State allow his wife to leave Nigeria for cosmetic surgery so that she could look more beautiful?" And I ask: How many husbands know what their wives do behind their back? I bet not even the great Gani knows what his wives do all the time without his authorisation. If he does, then he must be a superman indeed. Gani also gives the impression that a wife must be controlled by her husband, a confession that promoters of women's rights would not be too pleased with as it reinforces the idea of the woman in a marital situation as a subordinate party. He says Stella was "ravishing and radiant". Ravishing? Chief, how? And he complains about the absence of leaders from Europe, Asia and the United States at Stella's burial, Now, this is cheap. But just as Chief Gani Fawehinmi's letter to the President is poorly timed and in bad taste in its personalised tone, the response by Chief Alex Akinyele in which he sought to dress down Chief Fawehinmi was also slightly over the bar. He says Gani is "wicked and inhuman". When a man ignores propriety, how does that make him wicked and inhuman? Insensitive and naughty certainly, but not wicked and inhuman. What Chief Fawehinmi has done is to draw attention to an aspect of Stella Obasanjo's death which the mourning crowd and the press have been treating courteously, namely the cause of her death. The sub-text of all discussions of Mrs Stella Obasanjo's death ranges from closet declarations that her death was suicidal, to angry protests that she used public funds to do a tummy tuck that took her life. The questions have been asked: In a country where millions of people have no money to feed, to pay school fees, to satisfy basic needs, why would anybody go and do anything so silly as a tummy tuck, or breast adjustment or facial reconstruction? For what purpose? And why a 60-year old woman? Could it be that the President has been putting a 60-year old woman under pressure? Is the man so idle that he still devotes so much time to pillow affairs? And so these questions develop into speculations about the actual state of the marriage between the late First Lady and the President. It is the focus on these questions that makes the tears shed by the mourners at Stella's burial appear hypocritical. It is therefore difficult in retrospect to know who was genuinely mourning her, and who was in attendance at her burial simply to fulfil all righteousness. Even persons who did not greet her in her lifetime showed up on television wearing aso ebi. Her rivals in the Obasanjo household also went to pay their last respects. Only God knows how many women were at her burial with the hope that they could step into her shoes and serve as First Lady for the rest of Obasanjo's tenure. In this country, even the office of the First Lady is a political appointment of sorts! There are women out there who would willingly send their curriculum vitae to President Obasanjo, should they hear of any attempt to fill a vacancy in the Presidential chamber! But that is life isn't it? People shed tears in the house of mourning not necessarily because they love the dead but because they are in the presence of the same fate that awaits them. I have read some of the better-considered commentaries on Stella Obasanjo's life. I think three things about her are more important. To start with, when President Olusegun Obasanjo was incarcerated by the Abacha government, on the grounds of a contrived treason charge, this was the woman who stood by him. She became his promoter in the national and international arena. She was the rallying point of all the efforts that were made by persons at home and abroad to keep the Obasanjo name alive and to mobilise support for his release. She stood by him, campaigned for him. Stella Obasanjo became Olusegun Obasanjo's own Winnie Mandela. She went abroad to promote her husband's cause. She kept his home for him. When he returned she was by his side. This demonstration of commitment in the face of trials is a useful lesson for all wives. It is what sets the likes of Mrs Hannah Awolowo, Mrs Faderera Akintola, Winnie Mandela, Graca Macel, apart from the crowd. In contrast to these women is the other crowd which sees marriage as a jolly ride. In the face of any form of stress, the women in this category jump ship. They practically take to their heels. And they are sadly in the majority. I once read the story of a prominent Nigerian who was involved in the Awo treasonable felony trial. The moment his wife at the time saw that he faced the prospect of being jailed for life, she immediately absconded and married another man. Stella Obasanjo in spite of the difficulties of being an Obasanjo wife, believed in her marriage and worked hard at it. Every Nigerian must learn to emulate that example. Marriage is a long distance race, not a 100 metres dash. The way many of our young women sound these days, you would get the impression that they see marriage as a form of business partnership. Another aspect of Stella's life that should be projected over and above the isolated incident of cosmetic surgery is her humility. Everyone who had cause to relate with her has remarked about her simplicity. She was a very approachable woman. Anyone who needed her husband's assistance went to her, because it is common knowledge that Obasanjo could be a very difficult man. She was the one who attended the weddings of her friends' children, and she was quite visible on the party circuit. Because she was so accessible, she made her mistakes: she helped persons to secure opportunities which nearly got her into trouble. She was also said to have done some government contracts and acquired properties, but it was difficult to tie anything to her because she was just the President's wife without access to the treasury. On the average, then, Stella Obasanjo's simplicity, in spite of her shortcomings, is a virtue that should be recommended to all Nigerian First Ladies. This is an office that has been so abused that you sometimes wonder how some women managed to end up in the corridors of power. You can't imagine the number of such wives who behave as if there would be no tomorrow. Once their husbands get to power, they allow the new position to get to their heads. They ignore old friends, treat present staff with disdain and generally carry themselves after the fashion of peacocks. The behaviour of First ladies in power is one of the understated aspects of the phenomenon of power abuse in Nigeria. Even the wives of local government chairmen can be so cocky. And it is like that down the line. Some wives simply don't know how to behave. Every woman who ends up as the wife of an important public official in Nigeria should be sent to a finishing school. To say that President Obasanjo loves to make enemies is to state the obvious. But Stella did not fight his personal battles for him. The same cannot be said for many of our other First Ladies. In more than one state of the Federation, the wives of the Governor and Deputy Governor took over the clash between their husbands and turned it into their own fight. Even if Stella Obasanjo did not like the Atikus, she didn't make a public show of her solidarity with her husband. Some of our First Ladies are said to be great bullies; the only problem is that their victims won't ever have the courage to say so in public. To keep a position in the corridors of power, many Nigerians are prepared to swallow any kind of insult including calling their daughter's age-mate, Mummy! Stella Obasanjo ran an NGO called ChildCare Trust Foundation. I don't think it was well managed, but the principles behind it made great sense. Children are among the most vulnerable groups in Nigeria today. They are the great victims of our disorganised circumstances. They are afflicted by poverty and the absence of government in many areas of the people's lives. For drawing attention to their plight, for identifying with children, Stella Obasanjo highlighted an important message for our community. The man who is most affected by her death, of course, is Obasanjo. He left his Ota farm in 1999, with the great expectation that he would serve in Abuja and return home with all that he went with, completely and without a minus: the ultimate sign of success. It was Stella that stood by his side. When he returns to Ota or Abeokuta in 2007, and he takes account, he would be doing so, incomplete, scarred. This would make him sad. And it is this man's sadness that Gani has chosen to play politics with. It is not fair to cause a man who is in tears more tears. Gani could have written his commentary without making it an "Open letter to Obasanjo". Does he actually expect a reply?
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