Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassin
By Reuben Abati
"When any of my customers wants to have sex with me without using condoms, I usually protest. Then we will strike a bargain and we will do it. He won't know that he is buying his death with his own money. However, there are many who will never have sex without using condoms. But I have a way of dealing with them. When I am having sex with such men, I usually shake my buttocks vigorously so as to burst the condom, and if the condom bursts and the man is carried away, he won't bother about fixing another condom".
These lines are taken from a pathetic story in The Sun newspaper of Saturday, April 18. They belong to a young Nigerian lady called Sandra, who has been served the wrong end of the stick by a crazy society where the future is uncertain even for young girls, and who has chosen to become an assassin in protest. There are probably many others like her whose stories move us to tears and frustration and for whom we feel neither disgust nor pity but sympathy.
Sandra's story holds in one explosive capsule, many of the disturbing issues in the Nigerian society: the insecurity of lives and property, the lack of trauma care for victims of circumstances, the abortion of hopes, rape, prostitution, abortion, poverty, the failure of governance, and the likely effect of psychological and social violence on the society at large. Increasingly, everyday, Nigerians are disappointed by society, and in all ways, they turn upon and against each other; such spectacle of man's inhumanity to man, such display of social violence. And yet it is common to hear them proclaim "the grace of God" in their lives.
Sandra's story is shocking says Henry Umahi, the reporter of her story. Indeed it is. Four years ago, the future lay at her feet. She was 17, a virgin, and she had just been offered admission into the Delta State University, Abraka, to study Banking and Finance. Many young Nigerians love to study Banking and Finance. It is certainly not one of those courses of study that former President Olusegun Obasanjo considered useless. She must have dreamt of getting a job in a bank, with a good salary to go with it, nicely cut skirts and the self-confidence that comes with having made something out of one's life. But Nigerian roads are full of dangers.
She had travelled to Asaba to visit her elder brother, her only sibling, who obviously was willing to pay her school fees. Two days after, her brother died in a motor accident. Motor accident is an easy cause of death in Nigeria. The roads are bad. The drivers are reckless. The vehicles are mostly second hand, used vehicles from Europe and North America running on used and worn tyres that are not made for the tropics. Earlier this year, the FRSC reported that over 1.2 million persons died from motor accident-related injuries in 2008 alone! The hospitals are ill-equipped, there is no emergency rescue facility, and concerned passers-by who usually stop to help, have no clues about how to deal with emergencies and save lives. Nigerians survive on the roads, by "the grace of God".
"In fact for me", says Sandra, "life had come to an abrupt end." But the worst was yet to come. "Another tragedy befell me on my way home to tell my poor mother. Our bus was hijacked by five armed men. They took the vehicle into the bush, robbed us and raped the women. I was one of those the bastards raped. At that time I was still a virgin. I had not known a man. It was a very ugly experience and it made me wonder what a cruel world we live in. It was so horrible, I passed out during the gruesome rape. I had pleaded with them, but they wouldn't let go. Before the attacks, I was already in sorrow and tears. It was the worst thing that could happen to anyone and it made me form an opinion about men."
Sandra couldn't tell anyone what had happened to her. Rape is one of the biggest problems in Nigeria, and the unfortunate thing is that the extant law and the fear of social stigma make it extremely difficult for women who have been so abused to get justice. Robbery on the highways is also rampant. Vehicles are waylaid by armed robbers and after looting cash and property, the hoodlums always end up raping the women. Rarely do the victims go to the police. Women are raped in police stations too by police officers and other uniformed men.
When soldiers raided Odi a few years ago, after sacking the community, they asked the women to line up and they raped them one after the other. The Punch newspaper published the photographs but there is no record of any soldier being punished for rape. These days, the newspapers are full of reports of rape: old men abuse young girls, campus cultists rape female students and female lecturers, fathers rape their daughters. The ones who get caught blame the Devil. The country is full of the devil's agents. Unless rape is properly criminalized by protecting the interest of the victim, the problem is bound to persist. The highways also need to become more secure.
Sandra couldn't "bring herself to tell anyone what happened, not even her mother", because she didn't want to be stigmatised. She couldn't seek help, because there are no counseling centres provided by the state. Then all of a sudden, she discovered that she was pregnant. She finally had to confide in her mother. She also chose to abort the pregnancy: those who insist that abortion is anti-God should read her story. She had no choice. Then, after the abortion, she discovered that she had been infected with the dreaded HIV. With her brother dead, there was no way she could take up the offer of admission into university. With the HIV-infection, she felt her world had come to an end. From being a virgin and a prospective university student, circumstances had conspired to turn her into a failure, all within six months.
When one of her friends later suggested that she could go to Lagos and become a commercial sex worker, she readily agreed. Her goal: "to make money and to infect men with HIV". And so she says: "for three years now, I have been distributing the stuff and it makes me really happy. Men are evil; they deserve no mercy. To hell with the men of this world". By the reporter's calculations, Sandra would have infected about 4, 640 men with HIV in the last three years, at the rate of four men per day. These are men who do not want to use condom, or those who fall victim of Sandra's buttocks-wriggling tactics.
Is Sandra the devil-incarnate? Is she suffering as they say around here, "from home trouble?". What is known is that she thinks all the men of this world are evil. If she was sure that the armed robbers who raped her were later arrested and made to pay for their crime, perhaps she would have been satisfied that justice had been done. She believes that the world is cruel and she is willing to promote that cruelty further. Should we blame her? A few years ago, the story was told of a self-respecting lady who was raped by armed robbers. She couldn't stand the shame. She reportedly committed suicide. Sandra is not willing to die, rather she has become an assassin: punishing menfolk for the crime that five of their kind committed. Imagine the number of other women and men that would have fallen victim through Sandra.
Even in her unhappy state, she had cause to smile recently when two soldiers decided to rape her at Tarkwa Bay. She said she not only enjoyed the moment, she "was shedding tears of joy". "The only thing that I regret is that they stole my money and handsets". What a story. Human lives no longer mean anything to her. For her, money and a handset are more important. And "any man that comes her way is an enemy".
And she tells her story with utmost glee. Her story speaks to the failure of government. It is the responsibility of government to inspire confidence in the justice system, so that aggrieved persons may seek justice formally rather than resort to jungle justice and self-help. Sandra's protest is not only directed at men, but also at the Nigerian state which has been unable to protect men, women and human rights and provide equal opportunities for all.
This is also a story that should be circulated among all men who keep multiple partners, including those who do not patronise prostitutes, but who like to play around all the same, buying death with their money. Those who argue that abstinence and fidelity to a single partner is the best way to minimize the risk of HIV infection through sex should be excited by this story. "AIDS no dey show for face," says one advert on television. Sandra's picture is published in The Sun newspaper, with her face blocked out to protect her identity, but the visible outline of her body, gait and gap-tooth suggests that she must be quite attractive. Who would ever suspect that she is an assassin on the prowl? And how many ladies are like her and even men too, looking for ways of spreading HIV?
The Sun newspaper should not stop at telling her story, efforts should be made to bring help her way. Civil society groups working on HIV/AIDS issues should seek her out, and help to wean her from her chosen "mission to kill". She also obviously needs psychiatric help. But more importantly, a lot still needs to be done to enlighten Nigerians about the reality of HIV/AIDS. Until Fela, the Afro-beat maestro died of HIV-related complications and his family chose to disclose the cause of death, many Nigerians regarded HIV/AIDS as Western propaganda. After a few years of so-called general awareness, Nigerians have now gone back to their old state of denial. There are Nigerian men who continue to insist that they will never use condom or that it is unnatural to stay with one partner.
"How can a man be eating the same thing everyday?", they query. "Do you know anybody who is living with HIV/AIDS.? Everywhere you turn: AIDS AIDS, AIDS but I don't know anybody who has died of AIDS. Look more people are dying from malaria and heart attack", one fellow once argued. I have heard people declare cynically that "man must die of something." When you point to national statistics and the HIV sero-prevalence, they readily tell you that those figures have been manufactured by NGOs and government agencies in order to attract foreign funding. And these are supposed to be educated Nigerians.
And so they fall into the hands of the likes of Sandra, with a fine face, murderous condom-negotiating skills and the heart to kill. And the tragedy spreads. What does the law say? Is she insane? Or she should be recommended for arrest, but she would probably end up sleeping with an entire police station, spread more HIV, and walk free.
|
Comments Page: 1  posted on 04-19-2009, 10:31:06 AM Aguabata Re: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassinthis indecent man should not be allowed to tell his dirty stories in a national paper. I've just checked the guardian paper to see if this story was published with that first paragraph and yes it was, you can highlight the HIV probem without your phallocentric illustrations. The other time you made an illustration with a man haggling with a prostitute. what is your problem?????  posted on 04-19-2009, 10:55:26 AM Omo naijaRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinWhat a country? what a world? this is not unique to Nigeria, there are vengeful men and women on the prowl as sex assasins, these people missions in life is to infect as many as possible... This Sandra is as guilty as the men that infects her, her story is just the same story, i heard from armed robbers when they are caught, is always someone else fault... i do feel sorry for her, but there is no justification for what she did, she should be arrested and charged to court for intentional harm.
GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. posted on 04-19-2009, 11:15:02 AM OzoodooRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
What is wrong in Abati quoting the lady in the first paragraph of his piece? Isnt it better for that quote to be given the widest of coverage so that men that patronise prostitute are made aware of the huge risk they take and the danger to which they expose their wife (if they are married)? posted on 04-19-2009, 11:38:43 AM Beau dRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
Aguabata, what is wrong with you? What did Abati write in the article to warrant such an attack? The guy is as forthright as he can and you are describing him as phallocentrc. What is problem? posted on 04-19-2009, 11:42:44 AM ThisworldRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
What's really your problem here? The fact that Mr. Abati has written articles on issues about prostitution? Do you feel you're one of "such men"...... No need to launch into a rage. He's on the point! Re-read the article and appreciate what its trying to convey! posted on 04-19-2009, 12:13:25 PM ObserverRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassin1.2 million Nigerians died from road accidents in 2008 alone (FRSC). This is alarming. It means Nigeria lost 3,279 souls per day in 2008. Talk of a failed state!!! posted on 04-19-2009, 12:25:31 PM Omo naijaRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinWhat a country? what a world? this is not unique to Nigeria, there are vengeful men and women on the prowl as sex assasins, these people missions in life is to infect as many as possible... This Sandra is as guilty as the men that infects her, her story is just the same story, i heard from armed robbers when they are caught, is always someone else fault... i do feel sorry for her, but there is no justification for what she did, she should be arrested and charged to court for intentional harm.
GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. posted on 04-19-2009, 12:38:56 PM GbollyRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinIf she was sure that the armed robbers who raped her were later arrested and made to pay for their crime, perhaps she would have been satisfied that justice had been done.
I absolutely believe that Sandra would have turned out a better person than what she is today if her accusers (rappists) have been arrested and jailed for their crime. But Nigeria being Nigeria as we know it, there is no justice. No law. Mr. Abati, thank you for bringing this news (as bad as it is) to our attention. posted on 04-19-2009, 12:46:00 PM Nero africanusRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
this cannot be true , the figure is too high , first of all how many travel and how many die..... posted on 04-19-2009, 12:55:23 PM ObserverRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassin@ nero africanus
Yes, that was my initial reaction. The figure looks incredible! Has FRSC cooked up the figure or has RA quoted wrongly? Please help me out!!! posted on 04-19-2009, 14:25:27 PM EmjRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
I just finished watching The Horror In Kigali from a Canadian Journalist's eyes....and i barely finished watching how they Raped and Hacked women to death....it was a very harrowing sight(painful for me, turned to another channel several times, to avoid some scenes)......and for some reason tried to picture those Women in Odi and what was done to them...i weep for Nigerian Women and Children...Humanity is Lost. There's no justice anywhere...Sandra's case is just one out of many...she's got the get outta jail card(can never be jailed for peddling her wares as it is, .....who wants to Sue her?...but will be cooling her feet in jail in other climes) and will continue to hold onto it till she gets real help...will justice ever be served in her case? There are so many women who have been raped by Armed Robbers/Miscreant and their life has never remained the same(no matter the counseling)....most are a shadow of their old self....living with the painful memory and the baggages of Diseases. PS:......Let those who want to buy death with their hard earned money and sweat continue to do so....after all they worked real hard to earn the enjoyment therein....jaiye ori e/chop da head of your life ojare. posted on 04-19-2009, 15:54:56 PM NoLongThingRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
My initial reaction too, I think he might have misquoted. posted on 04-19-2009, 16:25:03 PM NdboyRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinMr Aguabata,whats wrong with calling it,as it is?What makes him phallocentric by quoting verbatim from The Sun?The house is burning and you're only worried about the landlord's long goatie.The problem with us Nigerians,is we always forget the bigger picture and keep harping on old issues.That newspaper can be read online.It was on the newstand lastweek.
It's easy to write beneath a pseudonym and criticize someone writting with his true self.O ma se oo. Abeg,Oga RA,nice article,o jare.If this country still had leaders,we would have hoped for a response.Imagine how many lives are being derailed,while some folks worry about phalluses,"no long thing"& other centrisms.  posted on 04-19-2009, 16:26:57 PM Anioma777Re: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
What a disturbing mindset Sandra has!!!!!!!! Sandra's case is very disturbing but not shocking in the context of Nigeria. No one ever knows how they will react 100% faced with certain situations in life. But Sandra should do some soul searching and is she on a par with the evil men who violated her. I have often wondered the bizarre way some women behave and group ALL MEN together just because of the bad deeds of some. We can only pray for people like Sandra to seek redemption. Life is difficult for most Nigerians but playing the victim and acting in EVIL and IRRESPONSIBILE WAYS is not the fault of Politicians. We all have to take responsibility for our actions. Nothing shocks me about Nigeria or Nigerians now. WHAT A MORALLY BANKRUPT COUNTRY!!!! GOD HELP US  @aguabata We need to see and hear more stories like this. The problem with MOST Nigerians is that they shy away from the truth and pretend like all is well!!! Then on a daily basis "WE" wonder and bemoan why we are in perpetual darkeness. posted on 04-19-2009, 17:31:45 PM AuspiciousRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassin+ Comments Deleted posted on 04-19-2009, 17:41:49 PM AuspiciousRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinComments Deleted. posted on 04-19-2009, 21:16:04 PM IrawadRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinAll i can say is two wrongs don't make a right. Having said that, it seems like Nigeria is a society where one has no place of recourse in case of tragedy and misfortune. Whatever happened with the NGOs that fight to create positive social impacts for women? I think women should unite and insist on justice and transparency from the government in all its facets. Women must not relent until positive changes begin to show in every area of life. posted on 04-19-2009, 22:29:14 PM HarmoniousRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinI am not surprised at the reaction of one of our fellows condemning RA for speaking the truth. RA is not saying anything new. We have had a military head of state who died between the legs of foreign harlots! Time and Newsweek both reported it!
RA aptly portrays some of the problems we face in Nigeria. There is no justice and morals are sinking daily. Have we not had persons convicted for petty theft as governors? Do not be surprised if the young men who robbed and raped are members of a cult in a university. They may even graduate and become governors! What do we do as a society? Well we can start by acting on those things within our control. Why do we still respect failed leaders? We see them in airports and bow to them. We have parties and invite them. We want to be seen with them. In fact we named a stadium in Kano after a head of state who was known to be a murder, thief and whore monger who was guided by satanic marabous. Why? I have been in Abuja and a certain gap toothed superbly rich (without any known source) former ruler walked into a conference and he got a STANDING OVATION! We have a high tolerance for injustice and we celebrate what should be condemned and what we celebrate grows in value. But what do I know, I am only an alakowe! posted on 04-19-2009, 23:26:10 PM Bill CarsonRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinDele Giwa would not have debated or write a rejoinder to such a storyline from a tabloid newspaper (Sun). It Is a sad Indictment of the gutter journalism now practiced In Nigeria that an unsubstantiated story Is accorded all this seriousness.
Sandra Is by all Indication a Secondary School graduate, It will be close to the realm of nil that she kept a diary of all the sexual escapade she had while prostituting to have come up with her high figure of four thousand clients. A simple check/clarification with medical experts should have Informed the reporter or Reuben Abati that Sandra sleeping with over 4500 men does not automatically equate to same number contracting HIV, as It is possible to have continues sexual contact without condom and still not be Infected. While I may put the laughable figure of 1.2m deaths caused In a year by road accident as a typographical error by Reuben Abati’s typewriter, It Is unforgivable for him not to see the whole story as a figment of a bored or Lazy journalist Imagination, that woke up In the morning and decided to give his core readers In Beer Parlour joints thought for the week. Reuben Abati should tell us If he Is still a serious Journalist or If he has moved In to the world of tabloid journalism? There Is always the choice of sabbatical leave to refresh from what ever confidence battering experience one may have gone through and come back stronger than help give credence to zero truth story from a tabloid reporter. posted on 04-20-2009, 02:13:50 AM ChiagozieRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinThat figure is not in any way true. one would wonder how they came up with it. true a whole lot of people die on Nigerian roads daily as a result of bad roads much more than the much derided dangerous driving, but the number is not that massive. as for Abati's story, HIV is a part of our culture now and any piece on it is welcome. thats all. posted on 04-20-2009, 07:02:40 AM IamgodRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
Thank you Sir!!! I didnt believe a word of the f@#**_ing story myself, Moreso when it comes from a rag like Sunnews. posted on 04-20-2009, 08:38:09 AM NijalawRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinQUOTE:
You can give me a free lifetime subscription of the Sun & I would not give it any time of the day. It's only pervs & voyeurs who are attracted to the smut & gore peddled by that rag sheet. posted on 04-20-2009, 13:54:54 PM M. AkosaRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinI do not for one minute support Sandra's choice or stance on making herself a suicide bomber. I am sorry for the Nigerian men and their culture or values of sexualizing every female they encounter.
What is wrong with the Nigerian men? Why must think, say, imagine, breath, engage and indulge in nothing else but sex? In the work place, the places of worship, at home, name it all. Nigerian men are too over sexualized, and I do not blame their women, the likes of Sandra if they choose to teach them a lesson or two in sex education, by inflicting them with sex sickness or HIV for the rest of their lives. Both Sandra and her customers are equally wicked and evil. Any society that has rampant cases of rape like Nigeria is cursed. The men seem to enjoy the degradation of their women by the acts of irresponsible sex!!!! posted on 04-20-2009, 23:20:36 PM AfeniRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinWhile I enjoyed the read, I have to disagree with the tone of the article. First of all, it makes it seems as though aids is a death sentence. With the medications out now, if you get HIV at age 20, you can live up to age 69 (as opposed to 76 or so had you not had the infection). So, lets not make it look like its an "assasination" or death sentence of any sort. Secondly, in the event that Sandra has sex with 4 men a day without a condom over a 4 year period (i.e. 5840 men), she still will not infect anywhere near 5840 men. From research, it seems that the chance of transfer from female to male from unprotected vaginal sexual encounter is well below 1 in 2000. So, in other words, in the best case, she can expect to have infected no more than 6 of those men. Where a big part of the problem lies is in people engaging in more dangerous sexual activities like anal, and unsanitary practices in hospitals and abortion facilities that enable blood-to-blood transfers. As for the solution to this problem, more resources should be devoted to help aspiring Nigerians secure gainful employment (Emphasis on "GAINFUL", as many jobs are not worth doing for the money offered). Also, these people that partake in armed robbers, murder, rape e.t.c. ought to be executed as the resources in the nation are not even enough (even when honestly distributed) to take care of the good, not to mention those that bastardize the very fabric of our society. Its unfortunate that people choose to jump to assumptions on this issues rather than research facts. Please do so before you decide to write a piece that has the unintended consequence of demonizing these women that are struggling to make ends meet. Good day. posted on 04-21-2009, 07:19:28 AM Anioma777Re: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassin@Afeni
QUOTE:
I will be very dubios about all these so called "RESEARCH", there is no guarantee that you will live longer taking a cocktail of drugs to what amounts to delaying of one's death. Executing armed robbers will not stop future robbers. You should be fully aware since you reside in th USA where upon all their song and dance about death penalty in some states violent and gun toting is common place. I am not judging Sandra on what type of job she engages in, its the revenge against "MEN" that is very disturbing. Its a pity you say there are some jobs not worth the money. In life its better to have some money no matter how small than nothing. The problem with most Nigerians is that everyone once to jump from nobody to BIG BOY or BIG GIRL its ridiculous. I bet many disporans had to do all types of menial jobs to make ends meet while studying and afterwards until they got their career going. So why can't some of these "subhumans" in Nigeria do likewise.  posted on 04-22-2009, 08:36:06 AM Phkra1Re: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinVicious cycle! It a result of failed system that produces the likes of Sandra in the society. The society is tunning us to our natural animalistic disposition. Solution lies in according each individual his human right and dignity to life posted on 04-22-2009, 13:16:20 PM E_Pluribus_UnumRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinFRSC must have over cooked the figure....
the chef must be illiterate!!!! posted on 04-23-2009, 09:08:37 AM Sesan IbitoyeRe: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As AssassinNigeria is in the thoes of death. It is very easy to condemn Sandra. But when you have been there, when you have been cheated and the system designed to protect you look the other way; even aid your oppressors, then you would understand the pains of Sandra. What a country! If Sandra were to be "somebody" or "sombody's daughter", those demons would have been caught the same day or latest the second day. But she is a nobody with no one on earth to defend her. All we share is big big grammar on the "rightness" of her chosen course of action. Is it time to demand service form our rulers? Can we demand that they provide an effective police force? Can government please pay and equip the police to deal with those who decide to live contrary to decent behaviour? Can we generate a movement to DEMAND this from government at all levels? Can we match on the LG Chairman and demand service and justice instead of blowing big big grammar? When will Nigerians see the light? I weep for this country. posted on 04-24-2009, 08:53:10 AM Anioma777Re: Buying Death With Money: The Prostitute As Assassin@sesun ibitoye
QUOTE:
We can keep on blaming goverment and society, but does that justify spreading and intentionally affecting men with HIV. Its like getting robbed by a prostitute, does that mean a man should now take it upon himself to rob and de-humanise EVERY WOMAN. Your right its easy to blow grammar from abroad and whilst no matter how many times we visit home its not really the same as living there. Nonetheless it is no excuse. For all the negatives I see in Nigeria, I also see positives no matter how small. There are many like Sandra who have insisted they will not be a victim and try find ways to better their life. Like I said earlier I am not against her chosen profession, its her hatred towards ALL MEN and her revenge that is disturbing. Whatever negatives you may throw at Nigeria WE ARE ALL a product of Nigeria. I am not in Nigeria, but I choose to me positive about the place. After all if it was so bad many people who can easily get out are still there and many are not corrupt or hangers on. Comments Page: 1 |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
