Nigeria….Look, Laugh And Be Slapped

Prince Charles Dickson

It was late legendary Afro beat maestro Anikulapo Kuti that sang the song look and laugh after he was falsely accused of armed robbery by the Buhari/Idiagbon junta. Before then he had not released an album for sometime. He said after a while he had resorted to a ‘look and laugh’ approach to the state of affairs in Nigeria. The system slapped the man, and years after the system is still doing same to us…slapping us!

Recently in response to one of my writing, my friend David Eboh in England said “I wish all Nigerian journalists have the interest to consistently write with the aim to highlight the key factors about public positions and government decisions by asking the leaders relevant questions about official priorities, performances and achievements in their respective offices”. For example, he stated that he expected questions to be posted to the Minister of Education to find out whether he attended public or private schools and where his children and grand children were or presently being educated; whether in public or private schools in Nigeria or abroad. 

To that, the answer is simple, they are all schooling abroad, and those not abroad are in Ivy league Nigerian schools, so the man’s knowledge and awareness about the immediate and long-term economic consequences of the last Teachers strike on the nation is very blurred.

Even as I write the issues for which the strike was embarked upon remain largely unsettled. While the strike lasted, public schools were shut down and private schools were fully opened for business and being attended by the children of the privilege thereby widening the knowledge and power gap between the rich and the poor. 

In a paraphrase the government had no strategies or made any on how the time lost due to strike could be recovered in order for Nigeria not to decrease the lost hope in her quality of education at the international level, considering that many products of our education institutions from primary to the tertiary could be regarded as half-baked educated graduates who can barely comprehend the relationship between their knowledge and practical skills in the real world of work and career development.

The picture I have painted above is real, and sadly very little can be done than to look and laugh.

I recall again a friend had constant migraine, and was always in pain. And on one such occasion, she decided to explain how she got the ailment. She told me that while she was in secondary school, a senior had slapped her, so, so hard; it felt like several hands were involved. Truthfully it was only one hand, the force only made it resounding. It had a reverberating echo. One needs to be slapped with such force to appreciate or better feel the pain.

The Yorubas would say "ti nba fo lati oyi ako e" meaning "if I slap you, you will feel dizzy". The Ibo version when translated means "I will slap off your ear' and the Hausas say "Za ka daku" meaning a resounding punishment. And I think the last properly places it, Nigerians deserve a resounding punishment that will leave a person unconscious, with the ears gone... What is this about, how does a slap have to do with anything Nigeria?

I would use the word slap itself in the following context: Hitting (someone or something) with the palm of one's hand or a flat object: my sister slapped my face. As a noun, a blow with the palm of the hand or a flat object: he gave her a slap across her cheek.

With these explanations, I can safely say that in the last two decades Nigerians have continually received slaps of varying degrees from leadership. We have seen so many leaders that have come as the Messiah who not only fail woefully but leave as demons. The actions of these leaders have amounted to slaps that we have out of choice become accustomed to.

 We have forgotten the slaps, the slaps we received for asking for democracy, we got 'corruptocracy'. For asking for quality health, they slapped us with resounding ill-health so much that in these times and age Nigerians die of malaria. We possess some of the deadliest statistics, high infant mortality, third highest blind, second highest diabetes, the list is endless.

These slaps mortgage life out of us. Since the early 80's no government has been able to fashion out an effective and solution based model at tackling the unemployment problem of the nation. Our roads are death traps and I hear someone saying I am repeating the same problems. Yes and so because when a child does not seem to be getting it in, you keep repeating par adventure one day change may occur.

I had thought that in the words of Benjamin Disraeli "All of us encounter, at least once in our life, some individual who utters words that make us think forever. There are men, whose phrases are oracles; who condense in one sentence the secrets of life; who blurt out an aphorism that forms a character or illustrates an existence. Sadly a mere thought, as Nigerians have perpetually chosen to make Nigeria and Nigerians bitter about our existence.

Today we ‘may’ have a good man, but a bad system and seemingly a lack of purpose. How can we escape being slapped in the face? If we live and see 2011, what will be the testimony, migraine or sound health? I say that Nigerians like my friend deserve a resounding slap, one that would necessitate us to ask questions.

Questions such as how many hands are slapping us, why, do we deserve these slaps and the effects of these slaps. We complain almost forever and refuse to hold back the hand that is inflicting the slaps on us. The political class lacks the will; the people are denied the courage through continuous plunder, abuse and degradation of values of life. Nothing seems to make us think, even for few moments, we live it and once there is a blink, we all forget.

There are no encounters, nothing paints our existence or illustrates who we are other than a nation that has always been slapped by its own. In the light of actions of grave consequences, someone chooses the catch song, "things are getting better". In the face of decay, we call it reform. A Reverend 'Jolly' Fellow Nyame docked in prison for slapping the entire Taraba. The Micheal Botmang left his State better than Joshua left it, ‘more migraine for the good people of Plateau’. Turaki used Jigawa's collective wealth to slap an insatiable thirst for foreign trips.

When these men slap us they neglect the rule of law and we want to slap back, we talk of due process. The truth is that revolutions do not follow due process; most times a resounding slap is best treated via another resounding slap. If 150 million people or more say a foolish thing it does not become a wise one, but the wise man is foolish to give them the lie. This is the story of Nigeria, we call abuse resilience, but that does not make it true or wise. We call docility a die hard attitude, for how long?

We earn peanuts by Nigerian standards, from that we keep a family, pay bills, expend on daily contingencies, there is no reason to break it down as it would bring about pity. And a lot refuse to be slapped by the system. Some refuse to get migraine, but from time to time there are many that feel just a hand's slap from the system like several blows to the body and in yet chose to speak an open and disinterested language, dictated by no passion but that of humanity. To them, who have not only refused offers, because they thought them improper, but have declined rewards they might with reputation have accepted, it is no wonder that meanness and imposition appear disgustful.

Independence is the only happiness the system provides, to sit, look and laugh and escape as many slaps as one can. To view things as they are, without regard to place or person; praying earnestly that my country is the world and home Nigeria, and my religion… to do good. We need to take our fate in our hands, or the truth is that there is no end in sight. The slaps will only increase every one slap feeling like many slaps to the body. And what a future with all these slaps, kids with slaps, wives with slaps, husbands with slaps, ethnic groups slapped beyond compare, religion with slaps, and governance already slapped with maladministration. Need I remind us that the Almighty Allah is watching, better the wrath of Allah then the vengeance of men...Leaders be warned, and the led beware.

Robot  Villager

# 1 “I wish all Nigerian journalists have th...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 15.09.2008 08:06

Gbolly  Villager

# 2 I just hope that we "Nigerians" regardless of our degree of success and how we define success engage in a social business to help life up the poorest of the poor in Nigeria. Posted by Gbolly| 15.09.2008 16:23