Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus

Easter came with the usual greetings and exhortations from the rulers of Nigeria. Religious holidays always provide an occasion for the Nigerian ruling class to issue robotic and wooden exhortations asking the people to emulate the exemplary lives of Jesus or Mohammed.  I've had to deal with such exhortations my entire life. This year, I have decided not to listen to President Yar'Adua and the thirty-six state Governors. Let them sell their exhortations to the marines. I have no intention of emulating Jesus this time around. Rather, I prefer to don my thinking cap and ask why I am always  asked to emulate Jesus and Mohammed by rulers whose lifestyles and (mis)handling  of our affairs are diametrically opposed to the prescriptions of both deities. Why are President Yar'Adua and the state Governors so anxious to have me emulate Jesus?

The more I think about it, the more it appears odd that we are not being asked to emulate the Nigerian sons of Jesus who, after all, are closer to the corridors of power in Abuja and the state capitals than Jesus and Mohammed combined. Why, for instance, would President Yar'Adua not ask me to emulate Chris Oyakhilome, one of Jesus's more prominent Nigerian sons? Perhaps the President read it in my stars that I am allergic to Pastor Chris's Savile Row suits? Or someone told him that I wouldn't look cool in Pastor Kris Okotie's Ferragamo shoes and designer wrist watches? I don't even mind emulating Pastor Okotie's jerry curls but I am growing bald. And how about trying to emulate travelling in style in private jets like Pastors Enoch Adeboye and David Oyedepo? Again, why would Abuja want me to emulate Jesus and not his abundantly-blessed Nigerian sons? In African culture, father's pray for their sons to fare much better than them in life. Materially. That prayer has worked for the Nigerian sons of Jesus. Shouldn't the prayer continue its logical progression by making sure that we, the grandsons, are even more materially successful than the pastors listed above?

I think I know why the rulers of Nigeria want to turn back the hands of the material clock by making us all look like Jesus and not his contemporary Nigerian sons. A good number of Nigerians already enjoy the standard of living Jesus had 2000 years ago and some even live below what Jesus would have considered the poverty level of his time, manger, warts and all. By constantly asking us to emulate him, the rulers of Nigeria are indirectly expressing their interest in the maintenance of the status quo. Consider transportation. Jesus covered extraordinary mileage on foot. The only time he got a ride was when he "chanced" somebody and conscripted a donkey for the triumphal entry into Jerusalem. So severe was the recession at the time that he couldn't even afford to buy the donkey. And he was content to enter Jerusalem in a keteketecade and not a motorcade like the rulers of Nigeria. Imagine the problems we would solve for President Yar'Adua if we all agreed to emulate the transportation tastes of Jesus literally? He wouldn't have to suffer the indignity of being asked to perform and rejig our corrupt and comatose petroleum industry. No more exportation of crude for re-importation for domestic use. We would all be riding donkeys. That would also boost the economy of  his home state of Katsina since all the donkeys would come from northern Nigeria.

People have been complaining about an impending food doom. The predictions coming from the international community, the World Bank, Oxfam, Madonna, Bono, and Jeffrey Sachs are simply alarming. Every one is predicting massive food shortages for Africa in the near future. Nigeria is already having to import rice, beans, and virtually everything we eat. A good friend of mine here in Ottawa, Mazi Ebere, used to joke that Nigeria would soon import elubo and efo riro from China. Today, Mazi Ebere would be the first to confess that this is now a real possibility and no longer a joke. We all know that Jesus was constantly fasting. He once fasted for forty days and forty nights. Not even the brilliant Lucifer could tempt him to grab a bite with all the incentives in this world. Imagine the weight that would be lifted off President Yar'Adua's shoulders if 150 million Nigerians decided to emulate the dietary practices of Jesus by fasting all the time, especially in the forty days and forty nights preceding the Presidential elections of 2011? Imagine if we all refused to eat even if President Yar'Adua bribed us with miracles such as regular electricity and respite from armed robbery? No more rice importation. No more worrying about performing in the agricultural sector! Surely, getting us to emulate Jesus is President Yar'Adua's surest path to a second term in office! That's why I will not emulate Jesus at all at all.



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Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Gbolly posted on 04-15-2009, 12:33:30 PM
Surely, getting us to emulate Jesus is President Yar'Adua's surest path to a second term in office! That's why I will not emulate Jesus at all at all.

Pius, you are confusing a mortal being (you, me, Yar'Adua, etc) to the immortal (Jesus). If you are a Christian then you know that Jesus is your savor hence the reason to strive as much as you can to emulate Him regardless of what other mortal being like Yar'Adua may be preaching to the country.
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Eleniyan posted on 04-15-2009, 13:15:15 PM
QUOTE:
Surely, getting us to emulate Jesus is President Yar'Adua's surest path to a second term in office! That's why I will not emulate Jesus at all at all.

Pius, you are confusing a mortal being (you, me, Yar'Adua, etc) to the immortal (Jesus). If you are a Christian then you know that Jesus is your savor hence the reason to strive as much as you can to emulate Him regardless of what other mortal being like Yar'Adua may be preaching to the country.


i see the joke is lost on you!
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Johnteddy posted on 04-15-2009, 13:35:16 PM
Oga Pius,
i still dey roll for floor after reading this piece!i came back from work depressed but i am in high spirits after reading ur article!abeg,me to no wan be like Jesus!i wan better pass all the rich pastors in Nigera!who no wan collect "tithes"?
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Gbolly posted on 04-15-2009, 14:30:46 PM
QUOTE:
i see the joke is lost on you!


@ Eleniyan: you are right... this is funny...

@Pius: keep doing your thing, bro. thx
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Agidimolaja posted on 04-16-2009, 01:34:30 AM
One of the basic characteristics of a leader is to lead.He must lead by good examples before he should becalled a leader.

Our dubious leader, Yaradua recently admonished us to emulate Jesus who as leader lived His whole life by good examples. It is a good thingfor a leader to callon his peopleto emulate Jesus, but let charity begins at home.

It is quite laughable that our unfortunate leader,isasking us to do what he himself failed to do - emulate Jesus.

While Jesus was here on earth, several evil things were said about him by those who disliked his guts.

Jesus however,did not beat or kill those who were speaking ills of him. He did not order their arrest nor asked the Roman Authority to lock them up because of how those folks were running their mouths.

Not too long ago,under Yaradua'swatchful eyes, Jonathan Eledu was arrested and detained and tortured for weeks by govennment agents because of what Elendu was saying and how he was saying it.

Was that how to emulate Jesus?

Jesus Christ lived a clean life. He did not steal from public's treasury and he spoke out openly against acts ofthieving. It is also not on record that He sheltered rogues.

Yaraduadid not emulate Jesus when he gave protections to thieves and rogues.When Yaradua chased away Ribadu who was busy catching thieves and he{Yaradua} set free the thievesalready caught, he did not emulate Jesus.

Jesus did not steal neither did he recieve stolen articles.

The election that produced Yaraduaas President was massively rigged while the office of the President in Yaradua's custody is a stolen article.

No, he did not emulate Jesus when he accepted stolen Presidency and sit tight in the office into which he was rigged.

Appointing notable bandits like Anenih as Minister is not a way of emulating Jesus because Jesus would not have done that as an advocate of clean life.

Why then is heasking us to do what is extremely impossible for him and his cohortsto do?

It should have been very easy for us,had he led us by good examples as it is required of a true leader.

Yaraduaran away to Saudi Arabia for medical reasons. We did not know where he went for quite sometimeas our leader. When we finally discoveredhiswhereabout, he andhisofficial agents lied to us about the reasonfor the hide-away.

Yaradua know too well {and we his subjects also know} that Jesus cannot take His subjects for a ride.

For ages, we have been hearing this sort of annoying call from our perverse leaders.These sick leaders askedtheir subjects to emulate Jesus while they themselves don't lead by the good examples of Jesus.

They asked us to emulate Jesus while their livesrun contrary to the type of clean life that Jesus lived.

Jesus did not even attempt to curse those who were nailing Him to the cross let alone harmthem.

IBB,whom I percieved must have made similar callsduring his eight gruesome years of "maradonic" reign,however murdered several people he percieved were trying to kill or overthrow him.

Abacha must have made similar useless calls while at the same time he and his cohorts were busy looting the treasury and murdering several innocent souls all over the land.

Emulate Jesus is a good call as long ascharity begins at home.
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Valteena posted on 04-16-2009, 01:39:43 AM
[quote=]surely, getting us to emulate jesus is president yar’adua’s surest path to a second term in office! That’s why i will not emulate jesus at all at all.
[/quote]

That is just brilliant pius and so, so funny lol
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Byndaletto posted on 04-16-2009, 06:41:39 AM
when writing like this comes even once in a long while, we give God the glory!
Re: Why I Will Not Emulate Jesus
Lemeechi posted on 04-17-2009, 04:34:24 AM
Thanks, Pius, for agreeing not to re-brand, Naija stylee!
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