| President Barack Obama of the United States of America |
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| Written by Phil Tam-Al Alalibo | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Saturday, 16 February 2008 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
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President Barack Obama of
the United States of America
By
“I cannot deal with this
Lagos traffic, it is crazy.” “Is that all you have to
say after I have complained to you bitterly?”
“Don’t bother me, I am
reading the newspaper.”
“So what’s in the news?” “What?”
“I said they have killed
five students on campus?”
“Ah, these cult members at
our universities when will they stop killing themselves? Are they there to kill
or to study? See what Wole Soyinka started.”
“Who is talking about
Nigerian universities and Wole Soyinka? I am talking about the campus shooting
at Northern Illinois University in the US.”
“You mean there is another
campus shooting in the US after what they went through at Virginia Tech in
Blacksburg on April 16th of last year that took thirty-three lives
including that of the gunman?”
“Ha, I am disappointed in
you, my friend. So you are a newsman and you are not aware of this news. I have
told you to invest in cable TV so you can enjoy CNN. You spend money chasing
university girls, but you cannot afford CNN.”
“Leave me alone, that is
my palava. But tell me, how do I afford CNN on a salary like mine? You know how
much the newspaper corporation pays us, after feeding, paying rent and buying a
few necessities, there is nothing left. I am not like you, I don’t take bribes
from politicians to write favorable stories about them and their cronies.” “Yes, I am suggesting that
and what will you do?
“Go and get a lawyer.” “Which character do you
have, go and sit down, you are not serious. But come; is Illinois not the state
that guy is from?”
“How will I know the state
the gunman is from, what is wrong with you?”
“I am not talking about
the gunman; I am talking about that black guy who is running for president of
the United States.”
“You mean Barack Obama?”
“Yes, that is the name. He
is a senator, is he not?”
“Yes, he was elected a
senator in 2004 to represent Illinois”
“But he must be a very
brave politician.”
“What do you mean; anyone
born in the US and over the age of thirty-five can run for the presidency as
long as he or she has not been convicted of a crime by a court of law.”
“But Jesse Jackson and
Allan Keyes both ran for president and failed woefully.”
“Jackson is a damaged good
and would not win the presidency in any country, not even in war-torn Somalia
and Keyes who ran against him in the senatorial race is better suited as a
Harvard professor than a president. But Obama is a new kind of politician and
everyone is excited about him.”
“I don’t understand why
they are excited about him? After all, he is not even a true African-American
like the Jacksons and the Keyes’.”
“I am offended.”
“Why?” “Who will tell the US Embassy
in Lagos about my supposed insult?” “You have come again with
your empty claims; the other day, you claimed that you studied in New York,
whereas, you have not even stepped foot in Cotonou, not to mention New York. Be
careful with your false claims. The fact is that I have not insulted him, I have
just spoken the truth. His father was a Kenyan student in the US who met his
white mother from Kansas and they married or so and had him. Then he
disappeared when he was just two and died in Kenya in 1982. So you can see that
he is not a descendent of slaves like the Jacksons and the Oprahs of America.”
“Are you saying that if he
becomes president, an African will be governing the US?” “I know Noah Ramsey, but
who is Osaze?”
“That mixed boy who plays
for the Super Eagles. His father is from Edo and his mother a Russian; is he
not a Nigerian?” “But if a Kenyan is
president of the United States, wouldn’t there be a lot of Kenyans flocking to
the US Embassy in Nairobi with Obama as last name in their passports?”
“You mean they would all
claim to be related to Barack?”
“Of course. With Obama in
the White House, don’t be surprised to hear that the name of the US Secretary of
State is Owango Njonjo Odinga, or something like that.” “Indeed! Can you imagine
that in our lifetime, the US may get its first black president and that
president will be a true African not an African-American as we have just
defined it?”
“So you think he should
pick Hillary for the VP slot if he is the nominee?”
“He cannot handle her –
she is too tough a woman and has a higher profile.”
“What do you mean, is he
not an African man; which woman on earth can an African man not handle?”
“Have you finished
handling your own women?”
“Honestly, he cannot pick
her as a VP because that would mean that you have two oddities as president and
vice.”
“What do you mean by two
oddities?”
“If white American will
accept a black as president, at least, give them a white male as vice as a
consolation price. You cannot put a black and a white female and leave out the
white males, the power-brokers of the country.”
“You are right. But I
wonder what he would say if he were alive?”
“Who?”
“His father who deserted
him when he was just two years old and went back to Kenya and married another
wife.”
“If he were alive, I am
sure he would have since moved back to the US and claim his son after begging
for forgiveness.”
“If you were Obama would
you accept him back into your life?”
“It depends on the
circumstances that made him to leave. This situation reminds me of that of
basketball great, Shaquille O’Neal, whose father came from nowhere to claim him
after he signed a $100 million contract with Orlando Magic.”
“Did Shaq accept him?”
“He showed him his big
backside and to spite him, bought his mother who cared for him, a Mercedes Benz
and a big house.”
“But a lot of Nigerians
have abandoned children in the US whom they had with American mothers, are you
saying that they should return quickly to claim them before they become a
Barack Obama?”
“But how would these
Nigerians return to the US? Most of them are owing child support in the
thousands and are wanted for child support evasion.”
“If they have a problem
with the American law that is their problem. But no one knows what a child may
become as an adult. I think Obama has proven that and in spite of his father’s
abandonment, he returned to build a school in his father’s village and even
visited Kenya in 2006.”
“That is very nice of him,
but as Kenyans would say, it’s not yet uhuru
for Obama.”
“What is uhuru? Have you
become a Kenyan to speak their language?” “But it is those with
experience that have ruined America – was George Bush not governor of Texas,
what did he do with that executive experience in the White House? Even his
father as a CIA director, Congressman, UN ambassador and vice president, messed
up while he was in the White House. I think it’s time for change and America is
feeling it now.”
“So you think he will win
the nomination and run against Senator McCain?” “If he becomes the party
nominee will he not lose to McCain the Vietnam War prisoner and senator for
more than twenty-five years?
“McCain is an old man; he
is history and cannot debate or march Obama in style or in knowledge. Is
America moving forward or backwards? With comments like ‘American troops will
remain in Iraq for a hundred years,’ I don’t expect him to win the presidency
in a country that is tired of war. Even his fellow so-called conservatives will
not vote for him and will either stay home or vote democratic. Obama is not
just a politician; he has redefined history in the same manner Martin Luther
King Jr. and the Kennedies did; he is becoming a movement, a tsunami that would
sweep anything in its path including Hillary Clinton.”
“But you know America is
still a racist country and in the final analysis may not be ready for a black
president. People are excited about him now because of his story, his freshness
on the scene, but when it is clear that only McCain stands between him and the
White House, they will remind him why it is called the White House.”
“I think you are right…”
“They will start with
propaganda campaign such as his religion.”
“What has religion got to
do with this, this is not Nigeria?”
“You know his father was a
Muslim…”
“Whose father?”
“Nelson Mandela; is it not
Obama we are talking?”
“So, I still don’t understand,
is Obama not a Christian?”
“But his middle name is
Hussein how can that be a Christian name? His father was Barack Hussein Obama
(Senior) and his uncles all have Muslim names; the racists will try to poison
Americans by reminding them that Obama is truly a Muslim camouflaging under
Christianity to win the presidency. They will even remind them about what
happened to one Hussein in Iraq and what a bearded guy who has a similar sounding name did to America on September 11, 2001.”
“What is wrong with being
a Muslim and wanting to be president of the US?”
“Don’t be naïve; don’t you
know America’s history with the Muslim world? When was the last time a Muslim
was president of the US? If he is a Christian, why has he not changed his
middle name to reflect his faith?”
“But the man has said he
is a Christian and no one has the right to challenge his faith; let him be
judged by his character, platform and vision and not by his faith or color of
his skin.”
“I hope the racists in
America don’t harm him as they have done to African-American leaders of the
past and even to the Kennedies.”
“My friend, knee down
immediately.”
“For what?”
“Let us pray for Obama”
“I agree, he needs
prayers.”
“God Almighty, protect him
from harm.”
“Amen”
“From the evil men in America?”
“Amen.”
“From the racists and
narrow-minded evil doers.”
“Amen.”
“From the Ku Klaus Klan
and the Arian Nation.”
“Amen.”
“Guard his steps in the
morning.”
“Amen.”
“In the afternoon.”
“Amen.”
“In the evening.”
“Amen.”
“On the campaign trail.”
Amen.”
“Be his bullet-proof, his
armor and shield.”
“Amen.”
“His going-ins and
coming-outs”
“Ame oh”
“I did not know you were a
pastor, this was a powerful prayer.”
“Yes, I am a pastor, so
when will you be paying your offerings and tithe?”
“When Obama wins the presidency….”
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| Last Updated ( Thursday, 24 April 2008 ) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Posted by Robot| 15.02.2008 23:03