| Fridays without Reuben Abati |
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| Written by Phil Tam-Al Alalibo | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Friday, 23 November 2007 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Fridays without Reuben Abati
By
Phil Tam-Al Alalibo
“If you don’t leave that newspaper alone and buy yours, I will send my German Sheppard after you, Okoro.”
“Where did you get a dog like that, Kunle?”
“From
“You sef, you must be rich to bring a dog from
“Of course, I could not leave it behind when I was relocating; I had to bring it with me.”
"So you have become an American who cares for dogs and their welfare?"
"Look, you should leave me alone."
“But does the dog have a better quality of life in
“This is funny, dogs having a better life than humans. It is a sad commentary on the state of affairs in our country when Nigerians seek to become American dogs just to have a better life. By the way, that reminds me, my brother, where is that fellow?”
“Which fellow?”
“Who are we talking about, is it not Reuben Abati of the Guardian Newspaper? I have not read from him in more than three weeks now and coming to think of it, I have not seen the Guardian on the streets for some time now. Has he escaped to
“So you have not heard?”
“Heard what?”
“That the workers at the Guardian are on strike. I mean the members of the National Union of Printing, Publishing and Paper Products Workers (NUPPPPROW) and the Nigerian Union of Journalists (NUJ) are all on strike grounding production at the Guardian.
“I see, that explains Abati’s silence. Poor guy, what will he do without writing and which writer will Nigerians be reading on Fridays in place of Abati?”
“Look, my friend, be very careful, you mean to tell me that there are no good writers in
“Who are the other good writers that write as potent yet humorously as Abati on national issues? Mention one name? Abati’s charm is in his presentation of the subject matter and how he tackles the very social, political and economic issues plaguing
“I agree with you that Abati is easily one of the best journalists of our time. But there others as well that can give him a good run for his money.
“Who are those?
“How about Sonala Olumhense who also writes for the Guardian? How about Dr. Levi Obijiofor of the Guardian as well? They are great writers of our time, are they not?”
“You are right, they are good writers. I have read their work, but the problem with these writers is that they take their subject matter too seriously. Abati on the other hand tackles the issues with a measure of humor and that is the difference.”
“But I have read some writers accusing Abati as being soft on the real issues of the day. One writer even said that he is afraid to deliver the “decision punch.”
“I think you have a good point. Abati can be evasive on some of the most pervasive issues of the day. Some have accused him of only paying lip service because after all, he moonlights as a Master of Ceremony and speaker and has to be careful not to lose that audience.”
“How about Okey Ndibe?”
“Who is Okey Ndibe?”
“Let’s say, he is the conscience of Anambra.”
“So he is from
“Yes”
“Is he the guy who is fighting with that impostor, Mr. Andy Uba, of the purchased PhD fame?”
“That’s right.
“I think I have read his work.”
“His written offerings are optimum and a must read for all. I have not read any writer of late so commanding of the English language and issues, if I might add, as Ndibe.”
“But I heard that he is an English professor in
“What do you mean? Have you not had English professors in Nigerian who cannot write as well?”
“Abeg make you leave Nigerian professors alone; they are something else.”
"I thought so. Now, back to Ndibe; it is not so much his writings, but more of his courage to take on the thugs and ragamuffins that have ruined the great state of Anambra with their political ambitions.”
“I commend him for his upright posture. He is one of the moral voices of our time writing against the ills of our society.”
“So when will Abati return to work, I think millions of Nigerians miss his Friday columns, a lot is going on with sackings of governors, the Siemen bribery scandal and even the Senate declaration on Bakassi and Abati is not there to sum it all in his usual humorous way?”
“Who knows when Abati will be back to work; the strikers are asking for more money and the Guardian is not willing to cough it up so it could be many more weeks.”
“It unfortunate, Alex Ibru’s Guardian, which was founded 25 years ago, is going through such labor strikes. It speaks volumes about our poor labor laws and the maturity of the press in
“But if the working conditions are not conducive for workers, shouldn’t they go on strike to improve their lot? Is that not their right?”
“Yes, of course. But when they become greedy and demand too much, there is a problem. Greed is what is killing Nigerian politicians. Everyone wants to embezzle money. Just yesterday, the new governor of
“For what?”
“You are asking me, are you not a Nigerian to understand the reason for such withdrawal? The corruption in our country is so deep and ingrained that we need a bloody revolution to clean house.”
“You may have a point.”
“Thank you.”
“Go ahead.”
“In the midst of all these talks about fighting corruption, a governor is still stealing from the people in this form. Is this not what the educated people will call primitive accumulation of wealth?”
“Are you asking me, are you not an educated person yourself with a university degree?”
“Yes, I attended the Harvard of Nigeria – the Great University of Ife.”
“Nonsense, the Harvard of Nigeria is the
“Look, be very careful not to insult me with your false claims. Everyone knows that
“Keep dreaming.”
“In any case, back to the issue of Nigerian journalism - as vibrant as it is, it still has quite a way to go. It is not yet “uhuru” for the Nigerian press. Many of the stories written are half-truths and some downright false. Imagine one of the papers just last week reporting that Yar’Adua and Obasanjo’s plots in
“So do you support him?”
“Who?”
“The mallam from Katsina.”
“You mean Yar’Adua?”
“Yes.”
“I think he is a good man, his heart is in the right place, but I am afraid he does not have the temerity to wipe out corruption. He appears to be very weak like another mallam from Sokoto. If he is serious about fighting corruption, he should start with prosecuting his former colleagues like Odili, Ibori, even Atiku and the rest.”
“Do you think the Tribunal will sack him in the same manner it has sacked five sitting governors?”
“Mark, my words, it will sack him because there was no presidential election in
“What do you mean by that; didn't Iwu say he held a credible election?”
“Iwu who? I wouldn’t pay attention to that unserious so-called INEC chairman, he is as corrupt as they come and a poor excuse for a supposed learned fellow. My wish is that they both be held accountable for their crimes against the Nigerian nation.”
“Well, my brother, it’s late, Angelina will be coming soon. I better prepare for her.”
“Angelina ke! Who is she?”
“My new girlfriend from
“What happened to the old one, Bola, the one with behind like DHL delivery truck that attends UNILAG?”
“That is none of your business. Get out of my house before I call the American dog to chew your suffering Nigerian behind.”
“You mean you are asking me to leave your house?”
“Before nko, yes - go find your own…yeye man.”
_________________________________________ Author can be reached at alalibo@gmail.com
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Posted by Robot| 23.11.2007 17:54