Relationship With African Men

I have read a lot about African men, online and offline. If you have not met one before, you would think he's the devil incarnate. It is unfortunate though that mostly his attackers are Africans too or should I say African Americans. They have a lot of axes to grouse with their African brothers if we choose to be one that is.

I have seen in profiles, girls looking for guys and specifically stating that Africans and particularly Nigerians should not bother to show interest.

Let's look at some of the accusations that I have come across online regarding the African man and let's try to look at these things objectively vis-à-vis our backgrounds.

The first is the issue of swindling, generally referred to as 419 by Nigerians themselves. It is so called because some elements, if not all elements provided for in S. 419 of the NIGERIAN CRIMINAL CODE are present in the conducts of the perpetrators of these shameful acts.

Nigeria is a rich country in terms of human and natural resources. Nigerian leaders have no plans, at least to the best of my knowledge, to make that country one in which people are provided for. That is another topic all together. Suffice it to say that although the country is rich the people are poor. Some of these people, like people everywhere are desirous of going to a country where they could live a more human life and where their dreams could be realized. If you have ever traveled to Nigeria what you would see are people striving everyday in the face of hardship to make a decent living. There are over 100 million Nigerians, majority of them are honest contrary to what someone wrote on black voices recently.

There are criminals everywhere and Nigeria is no exception. I have had the opportunity of reading some of the letters sent by these unscrupulous Nigerians to their targeted victims. While not trying to be the devil's advocate, any reasonable and honest person reading that letter would send it to where it belongs, the trash can. However, if you are greedy and you want fast money, you are more than likely to fall for their schemes. To those who fell victims, search your heart, I say to you without any sense of remorse, that you're thieves and if those people are arrested so should you because if you read the letter and digested it what both of you planned to do if it were to be true is commit a crime. Next time you get such letters, read them very well and pay attention to Internet warnings about such letters.

That having been said, there are businessmen in Nigeria who are honest people, people that are into good profitable business. If your interest is to invest your hard earned money to make profit, there are lots of opportunities in that country. There are businesses you could engage in that would more than double your capital. The only caveat I wish to enter is that make sure you are doing genuine business and that you get in contact with genuine businessmen. Do not contact me because I am not a businessman and I am not putting myself forward as one and it is not my intention to introduce you to any business, I am just stating a fact.

That is for those who were swindled.

If your relationship is romantic then this is for you. An African man is not different from any man anywhere. A man is a man. If you are looking for a good man to share your life with, that is who you should look for and a good man is a good man no matter his color or nationality.

Some American women belief that their men are "dogs" in other words they accuse American men of playing around. Well I'm sorry to tell you sister, a man that would play around would play around no matter his color or Nationality. Do not get into a relationship because of a man's nationality because that man is just an individual from a continent and what you get is what you deserve.

It is the height of hypocrisy to lump all men from a country or from a continent together because you had a rough deal from one or more men from that country. It is just like claiming all presidents are like Clinton or Bush. Each president is an individual with his own program and no two individuals are the same. It is almost a culture in this country to accuse a class because of the act of one or more person of that class. The fact that a black American robbed you does not mean all Black Americans are robbers and because you suffered prejudiced in the hand of a White American doesn't make all White prejudiced. I have both good Black and White American Friends.

It is funny that African Americans could be doing to Africans what they are accusing Whites of doing to them. I have seen a lot of movies where Africans Americans accuse white of looking at them suspiciously despite being good individuals even though there are some unscrupulous elements within their class. By the same token, why are they looking at Africans as if we are all bad even though there are good individuals amongst our class?

We have cultural differences, but that is to be expected just like it should be expected of anyone from a different culture. The fact that you suffered some bad deals from an African doesn't make us all bad.

Every cultural practice has its advantages and disadvantages. In conclusion, my advice is, if you want to date any man, make sure you love him and that he loves you in return. Don't think because the man is from a particular continent he's better than any other man.

If I have the time, one of these days, I intend to correct some view about African men, using Nigerian men as my focus point and let's see if we'd be able to understand each other better. I have nothing but love for people of all race and colors in general and for my African American brothers and sisters in General. I hope we'd one day practice what we preach and not commit a crime against a race because of its bad eggs.