Relationship With African Men

I have read a lot about African men, online and offline. If you have not met one before, you would think he's the devil incarnate. It is unfortunate though that mostly his attackers are Africans too or should I say African Americans. They have a lot of axes to grouse with their African brothers if we choose to be one that is.

I have seen in profiles, girls looking for guys and specifically stating that Africans and particularly Nigerians should not bother to show interest.

Let's look at some of the accusations that I have come across online regarding the African man and let's try to look at these things objectively vis-Ă -vis our backgrounds.

The first is the issue of swindling, generally referred to as 419 by Nigerians themselves. It is so called because some elements, if not all elements provided for in S. 419 of the NIGERIAN CRIMINAL CODE are present in the conducts of the perpetrators of these shameful acts.

Nigeria is a rich country in terms of human and natural resources. Nigerian leaders have no plans, at least to the best of my knowledge, to make that country one in which people are provided for. That is another topic all together. Suffice it to say that although the country is rich the people are poor. Some of these people, like people everywhere are desirous of going to a country where they could live a more human life and where their dreams could be realized. If you have ever traveled to Nigeria what you would see are people striving everyday in the face of hardship to make a decent living. There are over 100 million Nigerians, majority of them are honest contrary to what someone wrote on black voices recently.

There are criminals everywhere and Nigeria is no exception. I have had the opportunity of reading some of the letters sent by these unscrupulous Nigerians to their targeted victims. While not trying to be the devil's advocate, any reasonable and honest person reading that letter would send it to where it belongs, the trash can. However, if you are greedy and you want fast money, you are more than likely to fall for their schemes. To those who fell victims, search your heart, I say to you without any sense of remorse, that you're thieves and if those people are arrested so should you because if you read the letter and digested it what both of you planned to do if it were to be true is commit a crime. Next time you get such letters, read them very well and pay attention to Internet warnings about such letters.

That having been said, there are businessmen in Nigeria who are honest people, people that are into good profitable business. If your interest is to invest your hard earned money to make profit, there are lots of opportunities in that country. There are businesses you could engage in that would more than double your capital. The only caveat I wish to enter is that make sure you are doing genuine business and that you get in contact with genuine businessmen. Do not contact me because I am not a businessman and I am not putting myself forward as one and it is not my intention to introduce you to any business, I am just stating a fact.

That is for those who were swindled.

If your relationship is romantic then this is for you. An African man is not different from any man anywhere. A man is a man. If you are looking for a good man to share your life with, that is who you should look for and a good man is a good man no matter his color or nationality.

Some American women belief that their men are "dogs" in other words they accuse American men of playing around. Well I'm sorry to tell you sister, a man that would play around would play around no matter his color or Nationality. Do not get into a relationship because of a man's nationality because that man is just an individual from a continent and what you get is what you deserve.

It is the height of hypocrisy to lump all men from a country or from a continent together because you had a rough deal from one or more men from that country. It is just like claiming all presidents are like Clinton or Bush. Each president is an individual with his own program and no two individuals are the same. It is almost a culture in this country to accuse a class because of the act of one or more person of that class. The fact that a black American robbed you does not mean all Black Americans are robbers and because you suffered prejudiced in the hand of a White American doesn't make all White prejudiced. I have both good Black and White American Friends.

It is funny that African Americans could be doing to Africans what they are accusing Whites of doing to them. I have seen a lot of movies where Africans Americans accuse white of looking at them suspiciously despite being good individuals even though there are some unscrupulous elements within their class. By the same token, why are they looking at Africans as if we are all bad even though there are good individuals amongst our class?

We have cultural differences, but that is to be expected just like it should be expected of anyone from a different culture. The fact that you suffered some bad deals from an African doesn't make us all bad.

Every cultural practice has its advantages and disadvantages. In conclusion, my advice is, if you want to date any man, make sure you love him and that he loves you in return. Don't think because the man is from a particular continent he's better than any other man.

If I have the time, one of these days, I intend to correct some view about African men, using Nigerian men as my focus point and let's see if we'd be able to understand each other better. I have nothing but love for people of all race and colors in general and for my African American brothers and sisters in General. I hope we'd one day practice what we preach and not commit a crime against a race because of its bad eggs.



1 2 3 4
Relationship With African Men
Michael Femi Ewetuga posted on 10-26-2005, 15:15:13 PM

I have read a lot about African men, online and offline. If you have not met one before, you would think he's the devil incarnate. It is unfortunate though that mostly his attackers are Africans too or should I say African Americans. They have a lot of axes to grouse with their African brothers if we choose to be one that is.

I have seen in profiles, girls looking for guys and specifically stating that Africans and particularly Nigerians should not bother to show interest.

Let's look at some of the accusations that I have come across online regarding the African man and let's try to look at these things objectively vis-Ă -vis our backgrounds.

The first is the issue of swindling, generally referred to as 419 by Nigerians themselves. It is so called because some elements, if not all elements provided for in S. 419 of the NIGERIAN CRIMINAL CODE are present in the conducts of the perpetrators of these shameful acts.

Nigeria is a rich country in terms of human and natural resources. Nigerian leaders have no plans, at least to the best of my knowledge, to make that country one in which people are provided for. That is another topic all together. Suffice it to say that although the country is rich the people are poor. Some of these people, like people everywhere are desirous of going to a country where they could live a more human life and where their dreams could be realized. If you have ever traveled to Nigeria what you would see are people striving everyday in the face of hardship to make a decent living. There are over 100 million Nigerians, majority of them are honest contrary to what someone wrote on black voices recently.

There are criminals everywhere and Nigeria is no exception. I have had the opportunity of reading some of the letters sent by these unscrupulous Nigerians to their targeted victims. While not trying to be the devil's advocate, any reasonable and honest person reading that letter would send it to where it belongs, the trash can. However, if you are greedy and you want fast money, you are more than likely to fall for their schemes. To those who fell victims, search your heart, I say to you without any sense of remorse, that you're thieves and if those people are arrested so should you because if you read the letter and digested it what both of you planned to do if it were to be true is commit a crime. Next time you get such letters, read them very well and pay attention to Internet warnings about such letters.

That having been said, there are businessmen in Nigeria who are honest people, people that are into good profitable business. If your interest is to invest your hard earned money to make profit, there are lots of opportunities in that country. There are businesses you could engage in that would more than double your capital. The only caveat I wish to enter is that make sure you are doing genuine business and that you get in contact with genuine businessmen. Do not contact me because I am not a businessman and I am not putting myself forward as one and it is not my intention to introduce you to any business, I am just stating a fact.

That is for those who were swindled.

If your relationship is romantic then this is for you. An African man is not different from any man anywhere. A man is a man. If you are looking for a good man to share your life with, that is who you should look for and a good man is a good man no matter his color or nationality.

Some American women belief that their men are "dogs" in other words they accuse American men of playing around. Well I'm sorry to tell you sister, a man that would play around would play around no matter his color or Nationality. Do not get into a relationship because of a man's nationality because that man is just an individual from a continent and what you get is what you deserve.

It is the height of hypocrisy to lump all men from a country or from a continent together because you had a rough deal from one or more men from that country. It is just like claiming all presidents are like Clinton or Bush. Each president is an individual with his own program and no two individuals are the same. It is almost a culture in this country to accuse a class because of the act of one or more person of that class. The fact that a black American robbed you does not mean all Black Americans are robbers and because you suffered prejudiced in the hand of a White American doesn't make all White prejudiced. I have both good Black and White American Friends.

It is funny that African Americans could be doing to Africans what they are accusing Whites of doing to them. I have seen a lot of movies where Africans Americans accuse white of looking at them suspiciously despite being good individuals even though there are some unscrupulous elements within their class. By the same token, why are they looking at Africans as if we are all bad even though there are good individuals amongst our class?

We have cultural differences, but that is to be expected just like it should be expected of anyone from a different culture. The fact that you suffered some bad deals from an African doesn't make us all bad.

Every cultural practice has its advantages and disadvantages. In conclusion, my advice is, if you want to date any man, make sure you love him and that he loves you in return. Don't think because the man is from a particular continent he's better than any other man.

If I have the time, one of these days, I intend to correct some view about African men, using Nigerian men as my focus point and let's see if we'd be able to understand each other better. I have nothing but love for people of all race and colors in general and for my African American brothers and sisters in General. I hope we'd one day practice what we preach and not commit a crime against a race because of its bad eggs.



..Read the full article
Who is a bad man? Who is a good woman?
Pukpabi posted on 10-26-2005, 15:44:33 PM

The problem with us, both men and women is that we have refused to go back to basics. And what is this basics? Roles, period. Roles designed by nature that we have refused to accept, and then turn around to blame each other.

A man is the provider; a woman is the caretaker. I know that things are changing, but things did not change. We changed them, hence our problems. If a woman is a professional, all well and good, but how does that change her status as a wife, and mother.

Life is all about choice. Choose what is important to you, and live your life to the fullest. If career is what you crave,go for it, but do not complain that you do not have a man, or that your marriage is not working. For the men, mary within your class, and you will be fine. If you are a Taxi driver, do not go to Nigeria to marry a Doctor; it will not work.

Ka Chineke mezie okwu.
Guest posted on 10-26-2005, 15:53:49 PM
\"I have read a lot about African men, online and offline. If you have not met one before, you would think he's the devil incarnate.\"

Of course, he is the devil incarnate. The beast walking ignorantly on the face of the earth. The fool that does not know he is naked and his time is up. He will soon become extinct. Go and ask Ruddy \"the reindeer\" Okonkwo.
If you are a Taxi driver, do not go to N
Guest posted on 10-26-2005, 16:11:12 PM
Well said. I am a girl friend of Mrs. Chimaroke Nnamani. 419 is not the major reason women like myself have avoided Nigerian men. It is their abusiveness -- both subtle and overt. They are simply not content with an equal partner and the fact that a woman can be more successful further fuels the fire. Nnena Nnamani was physically and emotionally abused by her so called doctor husband whom should supposedly be a healing hand. She was beaten from Nigerian to their years in Newyork and to Florida. Finally, because she was stupid enough to buy into the mentality of provider versus caretaker, she never refined her skills enough to support herself by the time she was brazenly abandoned. She is now on wellfare with her two children by a man who is a doctor and governor of a state in your country. This is also the same man who is preaching fairness and equally and apparently fighting poverty. Does\'nt charity start at home? Most Nigerian men idiots and I can tell you that there are really only a few that are refined enough for a modern women to call \"my husband\". It is for the same reason that Nigerian as a country is the most difficult to rule and the most corrupt .. its men!!
Guest posted on 10-26-2005, 16:25:58 PM
Paschal, How many \"provider[s]\" do you know? Is it the Nigerian men who are sending their wives to nursing school? Abeg! Provider ko, provider ni. African men provide nothing but grief, especially when they start beating their chests as provider. Abeg, biko, they don\'t provide shit!
My brother
Anike posted on 10-26-2005, 18:14:17 PM
QUOTE:
any reasonable and honest person reading that letter would send it to where it belongs, the trash can. However, if you are greedy and you want fast money, you are more than likely to fall for their schemes. To those who fell victims, search your heart, I say to you without any sense of remorse, that you're thieves and if those people are arrested so should you because if you read the letter and digested it what both of you planned to do if it were to be true is commit a crime.


My dear Brother, I pray to God to bless you more abundantly than I know he has blessed you. This is what I try to tell all my coworkers who ask me \"why do Nigerians plot the so-called 419\"
I tell them the gospel truth, \"you have to be stupid and dubious minded to fall for them, I get tons of them but I am yet to respond to any\" I am not saying that is okay to do it but hey, even the American government tries to outsmart citizens everyday. I was reading where a lady had a car up for 800USD or so and she got a letter by a Nigerian who wanted to buy it for 3000USD but would send her a cashier\'s check for 8000USD so she can deposit and send 5000USD right away. The idiot did. Yorubas say, \"ere aje ju lo ma pani yan\" (excessive profit is damaging). You bet the thief had to pay the bank what she had withdrawn and I think she also went to jail.

I digressed, I know but I meant to respond to the 419 aspect. Well! regarding the \"not wanting Nigerian men\", It\'s all Dandy, leave our men for us, we\'ll love them without grumbling.
Biko!!!
you know..
Chioma posted on 10-26-2005, 18:26:00 PM
..I bought into that hall of stupidity and dated a white guy...several actually, then I tried afro americans, don\'t forget my Spanish men back in Colorado...and my Ghanaian and South African fellars. Whatever I was searching for, I don\'t know. Any way, what I found out is, A man is a man...for starters, if you let him run you over from day one, forget that he\'ll change unless he chooses to, if you shew him from day one that you are strong enough to take care of yourself but willing to let him provide for you, you\'ve got it. Most of all, you have to show him, he is a baby...remember, that you are deserving of royal treatments.

I am happy i found this out when i did. now, i know to put my eye for ground and search for the man who would treat me right and for him to be able to share a private joke with me in a crowd is a plus.
Make God punish men haters!
Busanics posted on 10-26-2005, 18:56:11 PM
why are women so preoccupied about men? You people should so something with ur life..as a man, young upwardly mobile man for that matter, me I dont think of woman to marry or all that wahala, I think of them when I need to satisfy my appetite chikena! I will rather think of how to make the next millions, earn the next degree or watch the next football game or better still play the next game than think about some woman in roamntic terms...the quicker women start thinking thesame way the faster they will make up for their long years of being left behind socially, politically or monetraily..abeg, leave men alone- in fact reaerch shows there are as many women cheaters as men..so who is lying? Abi, no be African woman dey come AMerica dey chop different kind of men then wehn marriage time start they will find african men? they forget that we african men also no quality from quantity! haba!
Guest posted on 10-26-2005, 20:41:25 PM
Mr. Busanics, what village are you from and how did you escape from there? Stay in school; there is still some chance that the wind of enlightment will blow your way. This may even happen quicker than I anticipate if you have sisters of marriage age or even better, if any woman pities your pathetic self and has a daughter for you.
Guest posted on 10-27-2005, 03:14:17 AM
African men are generally more sexually virile that men of other races. My fiance is white and she can\'t stop telling her friends( to my embarrassment sometimes), how \"lucky\" she is to have me.
1 2 3 4
Please register before you can make new comment