Twenty children cannot play for 20 years is not just an adage, it is a truism. Friends are good to have and you would know this if you even needed one. Growing up we moved away from our friends not because we want to but because sometimes things aren’t just the same. Growing up, we ended up with different interest and we moved on. But our friends, even though we don’t get to see them any more, sometimes pop up in our memories and brought smiles to our faces when we remember the silly things we did together. Our friends will forever remain our friends even when the friendship lost steam.

The saying that a friend in need is a friend indeed presupposes that friends could just walk away when you need them but that wouldn’t erase the friendship that you had together in the past, it is just that they did not want to further the friendship beyond a certain point. Sometimes we meet our old friend and we try to rekindle that friendship only to discover that we’ve grown apart. Out of friends sometimes comes the enemy just like they said there’s a Judas in every twelve.

At this time of the year, when the year is coming to an end, there’s always a reflection on the part of people and some hearts would be brewing a whole lot of resolution. Just as it is a time to look forward it is also a time to see where one is coming from and what my reflection brought to my mind is friendship.

With the term friendship sometimes comes the idea of love too. Love for our parents, children and friends.

I think the first friend we have is our mum because she’s always there when sometimes our dad would be a fleeting image, I wonder what my kids must think of me now that I haven’t seen them for two years. Some dad do turned out to be great friends, like my dad for example. There was so much gap in our age yet he was able to teach me one or two things in life, when he died I was 15 and he was 72. I still miss him.

My mum sort of gave me a guideline that determines my association with people especially those that might come around as possible friends. She would say stuff like “if someone eating sees me and frown, I would shame such a person by refusing to eat even if invited”

I grew up to see the wisdom in those words. Sometimes we are so eager to be some people’s friends that we ignore their demeanor and we end up paying for not being observant.

We throw ourselves into some friendship and the people we purport to be friends with are our friends as long as they are taking advantage of us in that relationship in whatever form. Once we cease to provide them with that advantage, they kick us out of their worlds and we end up sulking and blaming the whole world for our woes.

Friendship is only good if that’s what both parties wanted. Although our families are our first friends, someone might appear later in our lives and be better friends than our families and sometimes our families do turn around and become enemies. So do some friends of course.

If all these seem to have no direction it is because I am still trying to figure out what makes a friend a friend and why some friends turn to enemies. I wonder why someone who claimed once to love you would turn around and want to see something bad and terrible happen to you. I saw a movie that has a title of there’s a thin line between love and hate and I wonder if that indeed is a fact.

Do love really turn to hate or is it because the person never really love you? Do love really die? Do friends become enemies or they were never friends in the first instance?

Answers to this question would be as varied as there are people who are capable of forming opinion.

This time of the year I wish I could be with my kids and just play around with them but I’m not in Africa where it is summer all year and I’m not even close to where they are. I wish I could be my kids’ friends right now.

I wish I could be with my mum right now and just give her a big hug because everyday I wake up I realize she’s getting older and every time the phone rings I pray that it would not be some bad news about my mum. I hope when I do go to Nigeria she would be there to give me that hug. I wish I could be with my mum now joking and laughing with her. I wish she could feel the friendship of her last child.

I wish I could be with my brothers and sisters right now. We would be in front of mum’s apartment, the women would be cooking and we would probably be drinking beer (and I don’t take more than two bottles of that) and smoking (which I hope I won’t have to do after today) and probably talking politics or sports (is there a third topic in Nigeria). I wish I could be having that fun filled Christmas with my brothers and sisters. I am however thousands of miles away from these friends.

I wish I could be with Gbenga Elemide (Emis), Bayo Omisore, Kayode Ademuwagun, David Adetoro, Femi George, Kehinde Oladele, Shina Adeyemi, Niyi Olugunna, Bode Agbejule, Adekunle Oluwo, Sule, Femi Alebiosu, Lanre Ayanwale, Lanre Aina, Moshood Sule, Femi Oshunfowora, Kazeem Ajasa, Tunde George, Efe Agboro, Shola Omotunde-Young, Bayo Olagbami, Renne, Jide Samuel, Seyi Ojo, Ladipo Johnson, Ayodele Williams, Christian (papa junior) Amechi (papa Nkenna), Ike Onyejiaka (who was a friend and good principal in chambers) Wale kufeji, Dickson, Osondu (the boiling ring guy) Uche, Oladapo Adu, Bolaji Jokosimi, Abideen Shittu, Damola Agbolade Tosin Nuga, Dayo Badejo, Yemi Shobowale, Femi Adeoye, Yaya, Adebowale Savage, Remi Olapade, Yomi Ogidan, Femi Aloba, and the big brothers, like Timothy Banjoko, Fola, Demola Ogunkoya, Bolaji Johnson, Tayo Oshunfowora, Ayo Olatunde, Dehinde Harrison (Ebony Caskets) etc. Too numerous to mention so if a name is omitted, I ask for forgiveness. I’m just on a journey through life and I remember those that have touched my life in a positive way via different means and I just want to thank you guys for being good friends at one time or the other and I want to wish you guys a very merry Christmas and hopefully life would continue to treat us all right after December 31st.

To all the people that I’ve gave my heart to and that gave their heart to me and it didn’t work out, I pray we all find love and happiness and to the one that would eventually own this heart, I hope you’d be the last owner. Lol.

And to all the people on NVS, I hope we’d have very realistic and vibrant ideas to share next year

To all friends, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Michael Ewetuga


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TASLIM posted on 12-28-2005, 12:20:58 PM
You Almost Brought Tears To My Eyes Especially With The Little Knowledge I Have About How You Left Naija.

But Dont Worry All Is Well - A Ship Navigates The High Seas, Conquer The Small Rivers And Streams , But Will Eventually Surrender To The Harbour. Ile Ni Abo Isimi Oko.

But Dont Be Long In Returning Because We Need You Here. What Makes Your Mum And Your Friends Survive? Maybe Wole Soyinka's Song - I Love My Country I No Go Lie, Na Inside Am I Go Live And Die , E Push Me So I Push Am So , I No Go Go.

Brother Home Is Calling You. You Will Be Amazed To Discover That A Larger Part Of Your Being Now Was Made Possible By The Herculian Challenges You Faced Everyday While You Were Here.

There Is A Way That My Country Develops People Positively. True

Have A Prosperous 2006

Afro posted on 12-29-2005, 05:04:11 AM
Thanks for the wonderful article. Your mom`s advise that if someone who is eating and he or she sees you and frowns, you should not eat the food if you are invited! God bless you. Sometimes we do not know how much some people hate us until it is too late but, we will be recalling many instances in which,we could have stayed away. I like the way you mentioned your friends.
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