I had the misfortune of catching the later part of the Bisi Olatilo Show on Television on the evening of September 9 2007.  Lately, there had been some criticism of the Bisi Olatilo Show because of its general content.  Frankly, I have to admit that I too, I’m getting turned off.  Majority of what we see on that show appears to be the celebration of treasury looters and other rogues.  I however accept that it is not the show producers’ direct duty to sanitise society.  That responsibility belongs somewhere else.  However, the above mentioned episode was a horrible, horrible assault on decency.  It was the commemoration of the homecoming of the convicted ex-governor of Bayelsa State, D S P Alamieyeseigha.  I have never felt so annoyed and nauseous on a tranquil Sunday evening. 

Alamieyeseigha who was recently sprung from jail after two grossly inadequate years for robbing blind the State and people of Bayelsa made a triumphant return to Bayelsa.  I have to concede that he was looking trimmer and healthier than I have ever seen him.  So gaol must have been good for him.  Imagine how much better he would have looked some four years later!  Throughout the festivities he kept changing from one splendid attire to another.  I looked out for him in a feminine one but was disappointed.  Initially, you could tell that the crowd was the standard Nigerian rented type.  But it quickly grew and it was easy to see that these people were actually not putting on some kind of act.  It was terrible!  They were actually glorifying not just a convicted thief, but the worst kind of thief.   A political leader who robbed his own poor people and stuck the loot (including a refinery!) outside of their domain to enrich others.

Alamieyeseigha made it his grim business to steadfastly pilfer all the money that accrued to Bayelsa State.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, he then lived an extremely ostentatious in-your-face lifestyle.  Everything about him was too gaudy and too flamboyant.  I saw him on TV once while he was still the governor doing his best to give a rather large horse a heart attack as he tried to mount the poor steed.  It took about two hefty Hausa men to successfully get him atop that horse.  You could see the horse’s legs buckle and I could have sworn that the animal had tears in its eyes.  It was the occasion of him being turbaned with an empty title by one of the Northern Emirs.  I heard that foolishness cost him (I mean Bayelsians) an awfully substantial amount of money.  As far as he was concerned, the resources of Bayelsa belonged exclusively to himself, his wife and his children.  Rather than set up manufacturing concerns in the State, he set up numerous shady companies for himself alone.  With these companies, he cleaned out Bayelsa.  This is the man that was given a hero’s welcome by the same Bayelsa people.  Goodness gracious.  Wonders never end.

Clearly, that two or three day homecoming jamboree was put together by, and paid for by the current Bayelsa State government.  He paid a visit to the current governor who lavished him with undeserved praise and other stomach turning meaninglessness.  He rode through the streets (that he did not tar during his regime) majestically and other citizens rushed past the rented crowd to hail and touch him.  Predictably, some royal fathers were on hand to do what they do best – look hungry and desperate enough for another government handout.  Unfortunately, some of our royal fathers remain incapable to put a halt to their slide down the spiky credibility pole.

Alamieyeseigha later retired to his palatial and sumptuous country home and that was when the absurdity really started.  All kinds of people came in one at a time to pay homage and say one kind thing or the other.  Most of them were the usual paid court jesters including “representatives” of the Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba communities; but unbelievably, some university lecturers were there too!  They praised him for all he did for Bayelsa.  God only knows what they were on about.  The only achievement the man had to his credit in six years was to build a church in Government House, Yenagoa.  And oh, he bought some plush speedboats for the governor’s use. 

Intriguingly, the “Chief Welcomer” was former Senator Adolphus Wabara of Abia State.  Like a tired shadow, he went everywhere with Alamieyeseigha. How this came to be the case is beyond my comprehension.  Could it be because they both share the same corrupt proclivity?  Remember Wabara was kicked off the Senate President’s chair for demanding and taking bribes.  Wabara stated that Alamieyeseigha “is the solution to the Niger Delta crisis” and that “he should continue to serve Nigeria”.  If I don’t know better, I would say the former Senator was jeering and making fun of Bayelsians and other Niger Delta people.  Truth is Alamieyeseigha never served anybody or anything but his stomach; and when that got too big, he stapled it.

The return of the prodigal son show then proceeded to a church for its denouement.  Incredibly, one Apostle got up and preached some rubbish while all the time castigating Alams’ enemies instead of admonishing Alams and telling him and others like him some home truth.  The Senator representing Bayelsa West, John Brambaifa then committed the worst sacrilege of the day when he offered that Alamieyeseigha’s return is akin to that of Jesus Christ’s to Jerusalem.  It was at this point that I spilled my Guinness stout.  It was all I could do to stop myself from hauling the bottle at the television (Nigerian stout cost a lot here in the UK you know!).  Nigerian politicians would do and say anything – even on camera.  Yes, in a three day orgy of self immolation and debasement in Bayelsa State, the worst contribution came from a “distinguish” Senator of the Federal Republic.  

Finally it was the turn of the returnee hero to address his adoring people.  With a straight face, Alams opened up by saying that he has forgiven all those who had a hand in his ordeal!!  He added further that he wants to continue to serve his people.  The whole gathering exploded in delirium.  I was stunned.  Nobody thought enough to ask him what he did in the six years he was in an executive capacity to do just that.  He let them in on the secret that he has the answers to their various problems in that region.  It carried on in that exceptionally sanctimonious manner.  It was obvious that Alamieyeseigha fully understands his people and behaved (looted their wealth) accordingly.  They in turn cheered him every step of the damned way.

Please, from here on in, let no Bayelsa person complain anymore, anywhere, to anybody about conditions in Bayelsa State.  They showed up (traditional rulers, political leaders, apostles, university dons and students, market women, okada riders, the jobless and the aimless) and spoke and the rest of us heard them loud and clear.  In their view, Alamieyeseigha who did nothing in six years but doggedly stole from them and brought them un-dignifying shame and derision on an international scale is their role model.   Here is a man that ought to be jeered and shunned whenever he had the temerity to raise his head.  A man that ought to spend the rest of his time in absolute contrition and penance, begging the people for forgiveness; someone who ought to enmesh himself in some serious and long term charity work.  He is instead being celebrated a hero and treated as the best thing this side of a San Francisco cross dresser.  Yes, we heard them alright.   On this one, the people of Bayelsa got the wooden spoon.

Dr Michael Egbejumi-David

London, UK

demdem@hotmail.co.uk

Robot  Villager

# 1 I had the misfortune of catching the later part of the Bisi Olatilo Show on Television on the eve...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 11.09.2007 08:00

pappilo  Villager

# 2 shuffering and smiling!!!! Posted by pappilo| 11.09.2007 08:52

Dapxin  Villager

# 3 =pappilo;207447>shuffering and smiling!!!! Its beyond imagination, that the same Alams, back from prison, effectively an ex-convict was being treated to a heroic welcome back in Bayelsa...but does it not tell the entire story of our spineless lives, as Nigerians ? While I quite agree with the position that it does not belong to Bisi Olatilo to sanitise society, it does also belong to a responsible broadcast / media outfit to mirror the feelings of the few of us, that are bent on being sane. What exactly is our problem ? When I think about our entire situation, the one question that beats me is , will we ever make it ? Maybe not in this generation.... I am glad I didn't see this on TV. Yes, Papillo, 49 sitting, 99 standing... Posted by Dapxin| 11.09.2007 10:10

calist  Villager

# 4 =pappilo;207447>shuffering and smiling!!!! Na serouse wah!!! I can’t help but hide my head in sham Which way Nigeria? Everyday na the same thing Posted by calist| 11.09.2007 10:27

purple  Villager

# 5 This article truly depicts who we are as a people. We Nigerians must examine own role in our oppression. Posted by purple| 11.09.2007 11:40

X-Ray  Villager

# 6 What an article! What splendid humour! And how sadly true that indeed that a section of Nigerians just refuse to grow, learn and understand basic principles of right from wrong. I guess they wanted to outdo the reception the other political partner-in-crime, Orji Kalu received on his return to Abia State. I shudder indeed. I am sure these guys amidst all the undue pomp and pageantry will wonder what it takes to drive their people mad. They must be thinking if this is all we get for looting our state treasury, we should do this more often. Some current Governors must be licking their lips and planning their own grand reception party well ahead of time. Look how far our tribal obsession has taken us. It has blinded us so much we tolerate and welcome bad behaviour just because the culprit is from our neck-of-the-woods. This is why I felt the sentencing for for politicians who loot state funds ought to be far more stiff. I hope President Yar Adua and co. are observing this outrageous shenanigans. It is tragic. Nuhu Ribadu must be tossing and turning in his sleep every night. The whole thing is diplomacy and tact gone too far. A true setback for our forward march towards a more corruption-free climate. It is up to our new president now to decide how Nigeria intends to proceed with this War On Corruption. Posted by X-Ray| 11.09.2007 11:44

abdulmumin  Villager

# 7 I quite agree with you that it indeed was a show of shame in Bayelsa. The reality however is that Bayelsa is a microcosm of Nigeria where villains are celebrated so you should not expect any better from its people. Take a look at the corridors of power across the 3 tiers of governance in my country and be honest to yourself about what you see. I bet you'll see a plethora of frausters, thieves, murderers, cultists and all manners of the basest of men and women grovelling in and out of these corridors. Take a step back and look at those who are referred to as our traditional rulers and titled folks and what do you see? My bet is that you'll see very close friends, aquaintances and associates of the scumbags described above. They wine together, dine together and only naturally loot together. Leaches all of them. So why single out Bayelsa State? When a nation is ruled by faex populi (the scum of the populace), the product you get is modern day Nigeria with its Alams, Orji Kalus, Odili's, Goodluck etc. Posted by abdulmumin| 11.09.2007 12:30

overdryv  Villager

# 8 X-ray, Bad leadership and corruption have changed the way an average Nigerian at home think and behave.On a clear express way a Nigerian driver will always drive on two lanes, he would never be inside a lane. I visited Port Harcourt last year and was surprised that drivers only obey traffic lights when the police is around. When you visit home, I bet you, the thought on the mind of your closest friends or relatives, is how to dupe you. This behavioral pattern extends to Nigerians in diaspora, whom themselves are not any better. Your mention of the president observing the shameless reception for corrupt ex governors, depicts you in this light. Only someone who just dropped from Mars would write that. Is Yar'dua himself not a product and actively fueling corruption? Who can be more corrupt than a man who accepted billions of naira from serving governors knowing too well that this money belonged to their states? The most annoying thing is that some of these monies found their way into the personal assets he declared in form of vehicles and other goods. Write as much as we may, Nigeria would not change for good soon. Posted by overdryv| 11.09.2007 12:46

Dapxin  Villager

# 9 =overdryv;207510>X-ray, Bad leadership and corruption have changed the way an average Nigerian at home think and behave.On a clear express way a Nigerian driver will always drive on two lanes, he would never be inside a lane. I visited Port Harcourt last year and was surprised that drivers only obey traffic lights when the police is around. When you visit home, I bet you, the thought on the mind of your closest friends or relatives, is how to dupe you. This behavioral pattern extends to Nigerians in diaspora, whom themselves are not any better. Your mention of the president observing the shameless reception for corrupt ex governors, depicts you in this light. Only someone who just dropped from Mars would write that. Is Yar'dua himself not a product and actively fueling corruption? Who can be more corrupt than a man who accepted billions of naira from serving governors knowing too well that this money belonged to their states? The most annoying thing is that some of these monies found their way into the personal assets he declared in form of vehicles and other goods. Write as much as we may, Nigeria would not change for good soon. The final & very worrying verdict.....:( Posted by Dapxin| 11.09.2007 12:52

126Soldier  Villager

# 10 I sincerely share your concern as a Nigerian.It is all comical that credibility amounts to nothing in our social value system.But come to think of it in all fairnees and level playing ground, people from other parts of this country have celebrated and are still adoring bigger treasury looters. To the count, IBB, Abacha (was rubished because he died in the game), Abdusalami Abubakar, the two time looter and most shameless of all Olusegon Obasanjo have all been celebrated by Nigerians too. Governors like James Ibori, Peter Odili, Lucky Igbenidion & co. all looted and were never impeached nor jailed. The thin line of difference between these and Alams is that they were criminally wise enough to play the hypocrits/sycophants and pretended to support the almighty rouge in Abuja whose glorified house boy Andy Uba practicallydecided where and who to sell Nigeria's crude oil to for 8 years of their draw-back administration. Posted by 126Soldier| 11.09.2007 12:52

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